Page 13 – julie fillinger

The Shift That Changes Everything

Tue, 23 Jun 2026 09:30:00 GMT

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Enjoying God’s Presence Along the Way

Welcome back, my friends. I truly think of my listeners and readers as friends—people gathering with me over coffee, ice cream, or a quiet moment with the Lord.

Today, I want to share how God changed my perspective. I am learning to enjoy His satisfying presence throughout the journey, not only when I finally reach the destination. That shift changes everything.

Encouraged by Women of Faith

Before we look at that shift, I want to thank you for your enthusiastic response to the Women of Faith series. Each woman who shared her story helped us see what persevering faith looks like in real life.

What stood out most was not only their courage to be vulnerable, but their willingness to share what God was doing in real time. Their stories reminded me that God is never caught off guard by our hard places. He uses them to strengthen faith, deepen compassion, and make us more like Christ.

Learning to Enjoy the Journey with God

Becoming more like Christ often includes hard seasons, but I am learning that God also gives us renewal, rest, and glimpses of heaven along the way. I do not want to be so focused on reaching heaven someday that I miss the evidence of His goodness today.

Recently, I asked the Lord to open my eyes to those glimpses, and I began noticing them everywhere—in creation, in quiet mornings, in unexpected encouragement, and in the way His presence meets me before I even know what I need.

A Marriage, a Mountain, and a Change in Perspective

For years, Eric and I have taken vacation during the week of our anniversary. This year marks 36 years of marriage—36 years of two broken people walking together in the love and grace of God.

Eric loves planning hikes, local restaurants, bookstores, waterfalls, and scenic stops. Over time, we have learned that the destination matters—but so does the journey. That shift has made our vacations better, and it has made our life together richer.

That shift in perspective releases a lot of tension when unexpected surprises inevitably arise.

That same shift matters spiritually. I can be so eager for heaven that I forget to enjoy the nearness of God now. But the Psalms are reminding me that God guides His people through every rise, valley, and turn of the path.

Psalm 73: When God Shifts Our Perspective

Psalm 73 shows us how God changes our perspective. Asaph begins the psalm struggling with envy. He sees arrogant, wicked people prospering and wonders why faithful people suffer while the wicked seem to thrive.

His complaint is honest: Why does it look like rebellion is rewarded while obedience is costly? He does not pretend the question is easy. He brings his confusion to God instead of letting it quietly undermine his faith.

Until He Enters the Sanctuary

Then comes the turning point: Asaph enters the sanctuary of God. Being in God’s presence changes what he can see.

In God’s presence, Asaph discerns the end of the wicked, recognizes the danger of envy, and sees that God has been with him all along. Confession brings clarity. The nearness of God becomes more precious than the appearance of ease.

Confession Brings Clarity

Asaph confesses that his heart had become bitter and his thinking clouded. Once he brings that honestly before the Lord, he can see what had been true all along: God was continually with him, holding him by the hand, guiding him with counsel, and preparing to receive him into glory.

By the end of Psalm 73, Asaph does not merely have an answer; he has worship. He declares that it is good to draw near to God and to make the Lord his refuge.

My Own Shift in Prayer

A couple of years ago, I realized I had become frustrated and spiritually dull. I was not in the pit of grief anymore, but I had begun acting as if I should never have to suffer again.

As Eric and I read through the Psalms, God reminded me how to pray with confession. I began asking Him to examine my heart and show me anything I desired more than Him. As I returned to that rhythm, I began to sense and enjoy His presence again.

The Ultimate Shift That Changed Everything

In the Old Testament, sacrifices had to be offered again and again so a holy God could dwell with His people. But then came the shift that changed all of history forever: Jesus Christ, the perfect sacrifice.

Because Jesus laid down His sinless life and now intercedes for us as our Great High Priest, we can boldly approach God’s throne. We can enter His presence. We can enjoy communion with Him—not someday only, but now.

And because the Holy Spirit dwells in every believer, our bodies are now His temple. Wherever God dwells is home. That means we do not have to wait until the end of the journey to enjoy His presence along the way.

Final Encouragement: Draw Near to God Today

Let’s not get over the miracle of God’s nearness. Let’s tell the world what He has done, remember what it cost for us to enjoy His presence, and draw near to Him today.

We do not have to wait until we reach the destination. We can enjoy God’s presence all along the way, because entering the sanctuary of God is where everything changes.

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How God Changed Susan’s Plans…And Her Perspective

Tue, 09 Jun 2026 09:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Press the play button above to listen to the podcast.

Trusting God When Plans Change

In this Women of Faith episode, Susan Sellers shares a testimony that feels both deeply personal and universally familiar. Many of us know what it is like to make plans, work hard, and assume life will continue in a certain direction. Then, without warning, everything changes. Susan’s story reminds us that when life shifts suddenly, God does not stop being faithful. He meets us in the trial, sustains us in the suffering, and gently reshapes our perspective through it all. God can be trusted when plans change.

What began for Susan as unusual fatigue and chest pain quickly became a life-altering medical crisis. Open-heart surgery, repeated complications, long recoveries, and ongoing uncertainty were not part of the plan she had imagined. Yet her testimony is not centered on fear or defeat. Instead, it points us back to the steady character of God. Through every setback, Susan learned what it means to trust Him in the middle of the unknown, to do the next faithful thing, and to believe that even painful seasons can become places of spiritual growth.

Susan Sellers’ Story of Faith Through Open-Heart Surgery

Susan was known as a faithful teacher, encourager, and mentor long before her health crisis began. She poured herself into students, loved her family well, and served with consistency and joy. From the outside, life seemed full and steady. But in 2014, everything changed quickly. What first looked like fatigue turned into emergency medical care, major blockages, and open-heart surgery within a matter of days. For Susan and those who loved her, the shock was overwhelming. And yet, in the middle of that frightening season, she experienced a peace that could only come from God and she trusted Him.

That kind of peace does not mean the pain is small. It means the presence of God is greater. Susan’s testimony reminds us that faith is not the absence of fear, struggle, or sorrow. Faith is the confidence that God remains trustworthy in the middle of it all. When we walk through overwhelming circumstances, we may not feel strong, but we can still rest in the truth that God is near, attentive, and faithful.

Learning to Trust God When Life Does Not Go as Planned

One of the most meaningful parts of Susan’s story is her honest reflection that she had to learn to be okay with life not going according to plan. That lesson is one so many believers wrestle with. We trust God in theory, but disappointment reveals how tightly we were holding to our own expectations. When doors close, health fails, relationships shift, or uncertainty lingers, we are invited into a deeper surrender than we may have ever wanted.

Susan’s words are simple but deeply wise: you just do the next thing and hope God is glorified in it all. There is something profoundly devotional in that posture. We do not need to understand the whole path in order to walk faithfully today. We simply need enough grace for the next step. God often grows our trust one ordinary act of obedience at a time, even while we are still waiting for healing, clarity, or relief.

How God Uses Pain, Perseverance, and Perspective for Purpose

What makes Susan’s testimony especially powerful is that her story did not end with one surgery and one recovery. The complications continued for years. There were more procedures, more limitations, and more reasons she could have become discouraged. But instead of turning inward, God used those very trials to make her more compassionate, more spiritually grounded, and more equipped to encourage others. That is often the quiet work of suffering. God does not waste it. He transforms it into ministry, tenderness, and deeper dependence on Him.

If you are in a season that feels uncertain or painfully different from the life you expected, Susan’s story offers a gentle reminder: God is still writing something meaningful. He is still present in the hospital room, in the recovery, in the unanswered questions, and in the waiting. He can strengthen your faith, soften your heart, and use your story to comfort someone else. Sometimes the testimony God is writing in us is not about avoiding suffering, but about discovering His faithfulness within it.

A Devotional Reflection

Maybe today you are grieving the loss of a plan you loved. Maybe you are tired from carrying something that has lasted longer than you expected. Maybe you are still asking God why. Wherever this finds you, let Susan’s testimony encourage you to keep trusting the Lord. Stay in His Word. Keep taking the next step. Let Him shape your perspective in the middle of the process. He has not failed you, He can be trusted, and He will not waste this season.

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Sonya’s Story of Quiet Courage and the Impact of Forgiveness

Tue, 26 May 2026 09:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Press the play button to listen to the podcast.

Sonya’s Story of Quiet Courage and the Impact of Forgiveness

In this week’s Women of Faith episode of Courage for the Journey , I sit down with my friend Sonya Fortner to talk about grief, faith, forgiveness, and the quiet courage it takes to keep trusting God in the middle of deep loss.

A Story Rooted in Faith and Friendship

Sonya and I go back many years through church, our children, and shared experiences that connected our hearts long before tragedy entered either of our stories. In this episode, I share memories of her daughter Hannah’s faith journey, baptism, and the special ways God was already at work in her life.

Grief That Changes You

After the heartbreaking loss of both of our children, Sonya and I found ourselves connected in a deeper way—through grief few people can fully understand. We talk honestly about the silent understanding that exists between hurting people and the courage it takes to let others see your pain while God is still healing you.

The Healing Power of Vulnerability and Forgiveness

One of the most powerful parts of Sonya’s story is her willingness to share how God continues to work through ongoing struggles. We discuss how vulnerability helps others heal, why forgiveness matters, and how God can bring purpose even through suffering we never would have chosen.

Why These Stories Matter

I continue to believe one of the bravest things we can do is tell the truth about what God has carried us through. When we share our stories, others begin to realize they are not alone—and that God can still be trusted in the middle of heartbreak.

If you have ever wrestled with grief, unanswered questions, or learning how to keep walking by faith after loss, I pray this conversation encourages you.

Interview Questions

I want to back up and ask you to tell our listeners a little about your childhood background. What significant details stand out?

So, you started experiencing challenges at a young age. But it seems your mom was a constant presence that helped you feel secure. What do you want our listeners to know about her?

Your mom died a year or so after Hannah, what impact has your faith made on your ongoing grief journey?

There are still some unresolved questions that linger surrounding the ATV incident. But you have chosen to forgive those involved. How have you been able to do that? And how has forgiveness helped you release your anger?

How have your prayers been impacted?

A big turning point in my grief journey was the realization that joy and sorrow could coexist. I distinctly remember when I could laugh without feeling guilty. How has your perspective changed over the years?

It’s hard for those on the outside looking in to understand how it’s possible for the peace of God to be evident in our lives when we should be falling apart. I try to tell them that the same peace is available to them, too, regardless of the hard thing they are enduring. What have you learned about not giving up too soon that would encourage those who are listening?

Not everyone who suffers child loss has confidence that they will ever see their child again. We know some of those parents and they seem to get stuck with no hope . But we do have the confidence that our children are safe with Jesus. And we don’t grieve as those who have no hope. Can you describe how the blessed hope of knowing you will spend eternity with your child makes all of the difference in your perspective?

God is able to make beauty from ashes. What do you sense is God’s priority for you in this season of life? And can you tell us how your sister is a big part of that?

Closing

I want to thank Sonya for coming in today. People often tell me I’m brave, but what they usually mean is, “I don’t know how you survive losing a child. I don’t know how you keep getting out of bed.”

And honestly? Grief is hard. We’re not here to paint a rosy picture.

But what I want people to know deep in their soul is this: life is harder than we ever imagined, but God’s grace is stronger still.

Whatever God asks us to endure, He gives grace and strength for the journey. You can test Him on that. He has never failed to be faithful. Never once.

I don’t feel brave at all. The courage comes from knowing God can be trusted to keep His Word.

And I see that same quiet courage in Sonya. I know her story is going to encourage so many people and bring glory to God.

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Phyllis Smith: A Life of Faith and Resilience

Tue, 12 May 2026 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Click the play button above to listen to this week’s episode.

A Widow’s Quiet Strength: How Phyllis Smith Kept Trusting God

Hey friends—thank you for joining us for another story in our Women of Faith series. This week’s guest, Mrs. Phyllis Smith shares her life of faith and resilience as she models steady, everyday trust in God through decades of change, loss, and healing.

What you’ll hear in this episode

Growing up in Nebraska as one of seven children—and the early foundations of faith.
Meeting Waid, navigating military life, and viewing big moves as an adventure.
Building a home in Alabama and learning to extend grace to family.
“Living your Christianity” in daily rhythms that quietly influence others.
Enduring widowhood and multiple myeloma with a perspective shaped by trust: no complaining, just taking each day as it comes.
Learning how to live a life of faith and resilience.
How Phyllis’s focus has shifted to God’s priorities in this season of life.

Women of Faith: Phyllis Smith on Endurance, Grace, and Daily Trust

Some stories inspire because they’re loud and dramatic. Phyllis Smith’s story inspires because it’s steady. In this Women of Faith conversation, Phyllis shares a life shaped by simple obedience, long seasons of perseverance, and a calm confidence that God can be trusted—especially when life hurts.

From growing up in Nebraska to meeting her husband Waid, Phyllis learned early what it looks like to keep showing up with faith. Military life carried their family from place to place—Puerto Rico, Ohio, Germany—yet she chose to treat each move as an adventure, not a hardship. Later, establishing a permanent home in Alabama brought its own lessons in grace, hospitality, and family dynamics.

Phyllis also faced deep trials, including widowhood and a battle with multiple myeloma. What stands out is her perspective: she doesn’t waste energy complaining—she focuses on trusting God and living faithfully in the day in front of her. If you’re navigating grief, illness, or a hard transition, her testimony offers a grounded reminder that God’s purpose can be present even in the struggle.

Interview questions

First of all, you grew up in Nebraska as #6 of 7 children, which is interesting in itself. What do you want to tell us about growing up in this household with lovingly strict parents?
Will you share how the two of you got together?
I thought your life in Germany was particularly fascinating. Will you tell us why you enjoyed living there so much?
What made you decide to give it a chance?
Will you describe what you call “living your Christianity” and the impact it had on those around you?
Looking back, how was God growing your faith during this season of life that helped you endure future struggles?
Do you think he knew he wasn’t going to live much longer?
What impact has trusting God made in your ability to just take every day as it comes and handle everything with such grace and fortitude?
What do you sense is God’s priority and purpose for you in this season?

Listen to the full conversation: https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Closing

I want to thank Phyllis for coming in. It has been a real treat for me to have her in the WKUL studio. She has lived a life of faith and resilience with courage to trust God will come through, and I know her story is going to connect with many of our listeners.

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From Pageants to Purpose: Elizabeth’s Journey to Peace and Contentment

Tue, 28 Apr 2026 09:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Hey friends!

Today’s podcast episode explores how lasting peace and contentment are found in Christ rather than achievement or identity.

This verse beautifully captures the heart of today’s conversation.

When someone is brave enough to share their story—the victories and the struggles—and point us back to what God is doing through it all, it reminds us we are not alone. That’s why I’m so excited to share today’s Podcast featuring the lovely and gracious Elizabeth Miller .

Elizabeth’s story is not ultimately about pageants or accomplishments. It’s about learning where peace truly comes from and how placing her trust fully in Christ has shaped her identity, her relationships, and her purpose.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

How Elizabeth’s faith grew during college at The University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB) and why Christian community is vital for young adults.
How God used a seemingly small disappointment—earning her first B in college—to help her shift from self‑reliance and perfectionism to dependence on Him.
What she learned through her experiences as Miss UAB and competing in Miss Alabama , and how pageants shaped character, discipline, and humility.
How a deep, daily relationship with Christ produces the kind of peace and contentment that doesn’t depend on circumstances, seasons, or relationship status.
Encouragement for young women navigating dating, career, and calling while seeking contentment in Christ first.

Elizabeth’s story is a timely reminder—especially in today’s achievement‑driven culture—that when our minds are fixed on the Lord, He is faithful to steady our hearts with His peace.

With love and prayers, as always,

For Personal Reflection

When you think about peace and contentment, where do you most often find yourself seeking them?
In what ways have achievement, success, or approval shaped your sense of identity?
Can you recall a disappointment God used to move you from self‑reliance or perfectionism to deeper trust in Him?
What does Isaiah 26:3 mean to you, and what does it look like to keep your mind “stayed” on the Lord in daily life?
What distractions most often pull your focus away from Christ, and how do they affect your peace?
Why do you think contentment in Christ is especially challenging in an achievement‑driven culture?
What is one practical step you can take this week to anchor your peace more fully in Christ?

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Ashley’s Story: Turning Pain into Purpose

Tue, 14 Apr 2026 10:17:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Click the play button above to listen to the podcast.

Hey friends,

There are some conversations that stay with you, long after the recording ends. This is one of them. Ashley’s story of Turning Pain into Purpose is tender and vulnerable, shaped by loss and a faith that remains steady even in the darkest moments. As we sat together and talked, I was reminded why sharing these stories matters—because in the midst of deep pain, God is still present, still comforting, and still holding us when words fall short.

Life can change in an instant. One moment everything feels steady, and the next, you’re walking a road you never imagined. If you’re carrying grief, silent questions, or a heaviness that feels hard to explain, I want you to know you’re not alone. I am here and I care. But more importantly, the Lord is near to the brokenhearted (Psalm 34:18)

Why This Episode Matters

This episode is especially close to my heart. Today on the podcast, I sat down with my friend Ashley to share her story of child loss, grief, and steadfast faith.

Ashley and I knew of each other because we live in a small town and share some of the same connections. But it wasn’t until we suffered a similar tragedy that we truly understood one another. There is something unspoken between two souls who have experienced deep, shocking loss. Often, we don’t need many words at all—just presence and understanding.

Both of us are mothers of child loss. It’s not an exclusive club, but it is one no one ever wants to join. And yet, even here, God has been faithful.

The Core Truth

One of the most powerful truths Ashley shares is how she experienced God’s peace in the midst of overwhelming loss—a peace that truly passes understanding (Philippians 4:6-7)

Ashley lost her son Curt in a tragic accident caused by a drunk driver. Even though God could have rescued him in this life, He chose to bring Curt Home to Heaven instead. And what continues to impact me deeply is that Ashley never felt anger toward God. Instead, she felt His nearness and His comfort through the Holy Spirit—when everything about the situation said she should be falling apart.

God is close to us in our suffering, and He comforts us so that we can comfort others (Corinthians 1:3-4).

A Personal Reflection

Listening to Ashley reminded me once again that God does not waste our pain. Knowing how quickly life can change has shifted how both of us see the world. It’s taught us to savor moments, to love deeply, and to trust God even when we don’t understand His ways (Romans 8:28).

If you’re in a season of grief or heartache, I hope this conversation reminds you that God is still working—even in places you wish had never existed. He promises beauty in place of ashes (Isaiah 61:1-3).

Listen + Share

If this episode speaks to your heart, I encourage you to share it with someone who may need hope today. Sometimes God uses another person’s story to gently remind us that we are seen, loved, and not alone.

Thank you for being part of this podcast family. Your prayers, messages, and kindness mean more than I can say.

With love and gratitude, julie

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The Cure for Loneliness

Tue, 31 Mar 2026 09:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Click the play button above to listen to the podcast.

Hey Friend,

I want to start by saying thank you. Truly. Thank you for being part of this podcast community and for walking alongside me on this journey. I don’t take your support lightly, and I’m so grateful you’re here

Lately, something has been weighing heavily on my heart— loneliness . Even in a world where communication is instant and information is always at our fingertips, so many of us feel isolated and alone. I see it everywhere. And if I’m honest, I’ve felt it too.

We attend events, stay busy, scroll endlessly, and surround ourselves with noise—yet something still feels missing. Why is that?

Why Community Alone Isn’t Enough

I’ve lived in a community that shows up in powerful ways—neighbors helping neighbors, strangers bringing food, people opening their homes in times of crisis. It’s beautiful. And yet, even with all of that goodness, there’s a deeper kind of connection our hearts long for.

What I’ve come to understand is this: our loneliness isn’t just social or emotional, it’s spiritual .

We are body, soul, and spirit. And when our spiritual needs go unmet, no amount of activity or support can fully satisfy what’s crying out inside us

The Cure for Loneliness

Scripture gives us a powerful picture of true fellowship in Acts 2 —a community devoted to God’s truth, prayer, shared lives, and genuine worship. That kind of Spirit‑filled fellowship met needs not just outwardly, but deeply and eternally.

And in Psalm 73 , we see how everything changes when we enter the sanctuary of God —when we come into His presence. That’s where perspective shifts. That’s where envy turns to gratitude, discouragement turns to hope, and isolation gives way to communion with a faithful God who never leaves us.

As God’s children, we are never truly alone. God’s Spirit lives in us. He testifies to our spirit that He is with us—always.

What This Means for You (and Me)

God’s presence changes everything. When we choose God’s presence—when we lean into worship, truth, and fellowship—we discover that nothing else can fill the void. Our hearts overflow, our perspective changes, and we find the courage to share our stories. And in doing so, God reminds us—and others—that He is enough .

An Invitation & What’s Coming Next

I’m excited to share that over the coming months, I’ll be interviewing Women of Faith from all walks of life—women in their 20s through their 80s—who have powerful stories of God’s faithfulness and the courage He gave them in their trials. These stories are coming soon, and I truly believe they will encourage your heart

And if you’re longing for deeper connection in your own community, I’d love to invite you to visit the Gatherings page on my website. There you’ll find ways we can bring the Courage for the Journey ministry to your church, retreat, or next gathering—whether that’s a single session, a day event, or a multi‑week series.

With love and prayers,
julie

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End of the Live Series Recap

Tue, 17 Mar 2026 09:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Click the play button below to listen to the podcast

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Welcome

Eric and I just finished our live sessions in our Courage for the Journey series. It was a 6-session series of classes that met on Wednesday evenings at our church.

We will talk more about our next steps at the end, but I want to remind our listeners, you can contact us through email at juliefillinger.com@gmail.com .

And today, Eric is joining me for a recap. If you remember he came on the podcast halfway through the series on February 10 ^th so we could discuss how it was going.

If you missed that podcast , I would encourage you to go back and listen. We get into some of the why’s behind the series and Eric shares some vulnerable moments.

Welcome back Babe!

Interview Questions

Let’s get into it.

We pretty much covered the first 3 sessions of our view of God, suffering, and courage in the mid-series recap on February 10th.

The last 3 live sessions covered hope, peace, and prayer. Who doesn’t want that?

1. Starting with hope, what do you think was significant about that session that
resonated with our live class?

2. In the session on peace, we clarified the difference between peace with God and peace of God. Can you elaborate on why we highlighted that distinction?

3. My last podcast was The Heart Cries and Groans of Prayer. I was reflecting on our live session on prayer. Would you say you have had some breakthroughs in your prayer life as part of preparing for and leading that last session?

4. When we asked our live class to evaluate us, you said no rat poison. What did you mean by that?

5. We asked them to tell us overall what they got out of the Courage for the Journey series and how we could improve it.

6. Were you surprised the class did not think the material was too much?

7. We asked if the illustrations from our personal life resonated. Weren’t you so
touched by their responses?

8. Not every setting will be conducive, but they had a lot to say about discussion.

9. What should we tell our listeners about where we are going from here?

Closing

We would love to meet you and come to your gathering. There’s a lot of different ways we can package the material.

One day or half a day gathering
Overnight retreat
6 consecutive weeks
An individual session

Let’s talk about how to make this work for you:

juliefillinger.com@gmail.com .

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The Heart Cries and Groans of Prayer

Tue, 10 Mar 2026 09:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Click the play button below to listen to the podcast

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

An Honest Confession About Prayer

I’ve been a Christian for a long time, and I still feel like I’m learning how to pray. I often wonder if I’m doing it “right,” if God is really hearing me, or why my mind gets so distracted the moment I begin. Over time, though, God has gently met me in those questions and given me several breakthroughs that have reshaped how I approach prayer. I share them here with the hope that they encourage you on your own journey. Even the cries of your heart and groans of your spirit speak to God.

First Light: Learning to Watch and Wait

One of my earliest breakthroughs came through something called First Light —the moments before sunrise when darkness just begins to give way to light. Sitting quietly, watching expectantly, taught me that prayer often begins not with words, but with waiting. God doesn’t rush, and He invites me into a posture of anticipation rather than productivity. Even on cloudy mornings, His presence still breaks through. First Light trained my heart to expect that God truly wants to meet with me.

Praying God’s Word: Letting Scripture Lead

Breathing and the Holy Spirit: Slowing Down to Listen

The Pocket Prayer: Simple, Honest, and Powerful

One of the most practical tools I’ve learned is the Pocket Prayer , a simple summary of the Lord’s Prayer:

Father
You are good
Your will is good
I need help
They need help
Thank you
In Jesus’ name,
Amen

Each phrase invites reflection, humility, and honesty. This isn’t about impressing God—it’s about bringing my real self before Him. The Pocket Prayer reminds me who God is, who I am, and how deeply I need His grace.

What Prayer Really Is

Prayer is more than making requests. It includes gratitude, praise, confession, and dependence. It’s sincere, thoughtful, and guided by the Holy Spirit.

Scripture shows us that prayer can even begin as a groan—an inarticulate cry that God still hears. Ultimately, prayer isn’t about changing God’s mind; it’s about allowing Him to change mine.

How We Pray: Humility, Alertness, and Bold Confidence

Prayer calls me to humility—acknowledging that I am not in control. It keeps me alert in a spiritual battle where faith must be actively guarded. And because of Jesus, I can approach God’s throne with bold confidence, not fear. Asking God for help isn’t weakness; it’s strength rooted in trust. Courage for the journey doesn’t come from myself—it comes from the God who invites me to pray.

Discussion & Reflection Questions

What fears or distractions most often interfere with your prayer life?
How does the idea of waiting expectantly change the way you think about prayer?
Have you ever tried praying Scripture? What might that look like for you this week?
Which phrase from the Pocket Prayer resonates most with you right now—and why?
In what ways might God be using prayer to change your heart rather than your circumstances?
How does knowing you can boldly approach God’s throne affect your willingness to pray honestly?

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Peace With God Is Real

Tue, 03 Mar 2026 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Click the play button below to listen to the podcast

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Scripture Focus:
“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” — Romans 5:1

A Reflection on Peace and Hope

Today I am reflecting on peace with God and how deeply it is connected to hope. When I set my mind on heaven—on what God has promised and will surely fulfill—I realize that hope and peace cannot be separated. Hope is not wishful thinking; it is the confident expectation that God will do what He said He would do. And when that hope is fully realized, what remains is perfect peace.

Yet even now, while I am still walking through this broken world, God allows me to experience glimpses of that eternal peace. It does not mean my circumstances are calm or predictable. It means my heart can rest even when my life feels unsettled.

What Peace Really Means

Peace is more than a feeling, and it is certainly more than the absence of conflict. Biblical peace begins with reconciliation. I was once separated from God by sin. Because He is holy, He could not overlook it. That truth is sobering—I was helpless and spiritually lost, an enemy of God by nature.

But God, in His great love, made a way. Through Jesus Christ, I was reconciled to Him. Peace, for me, is the deep tranquility that comes from knowing I have been made right with a holy God. I now stand in grace—not because I earned it, but because it was freely given. From that reconciliation flows wholeness, blessing, and every good gift I have in Christ.

Living With Peace in a Broken World

Even though I have peace with God, I still live in a fallen world. I still experience grief, loss, suffering, and the consequences of sin. Perfect peace will not be fully realized until heaven. But even here, I can know freedom from confusion, fear, and inner chaos.

As I walk this long journey—sometimes through valleys darker than I ever imagined—God continues to teach me to trust Him. Over time, fear loosens its grip. What remains is peace, not because life has become easy, but because God has proven Himself faithful.

Peace With God vs. the Peace of God

I have learned that it is essential to distinguish between peace with God and the peace of God. Peace with God happened the moment I trusted Christ, and it never leaves me—even when my emotions are unstable or my faith feels weak.
The peace of God, however, is something I experience. It is the work of the Holy Spirit in my heart. Sometimes it feels like quiet confidence. Sometimes like a gentle nudge. And sometimes it is an overwhelming calm that arrives when everything else should be falling apart. Scripture calls it “peace that passes all understanding,” and I know that description is true because I have lived it.

Learning Peace Through Suffering

One of the clearest moments I experienced this peace was when my son, Nicholas, died. In the midst of devastating loss, an unexplainable calm washed over me. I knew he was with Jesus. I knew there was no better place for him to be. I knew I would see him again.

That peace did not last forever. In the months and years that followed, I experienced deep grief, loneliness, and spiritual darkness. I cried out to God and felt unheard. I wondered where that peace had gone and what I was doing wrong. My faith was stretched in ways I never expected.

But even then, God was at work. Over time, I came to see that He was using endurance to grow my trust in Him. I now have memorial stones of His faithfulness—moments I look back on that remind me He has never failed me.

Trust: The Antidote to Anxiety

Anxiety feeds on “what ifs.” It keeps my mind fixed on all the possible ways things could go wrong. Peace comes when I remember what is certain: the Lord is near. When I trust Him and lean into prayer, my heart begins to rest.

Prayer does not remove every trial. Daniel prayed and faced lions. David prayed and faced a giant. Paul prayed from prison. But prayer aligns my heart with the God who is able to sustain me through whatever comes.

A Mind Stayed on God

Scripture promises that God keeps in perfect peace the one whose mind is stayed on Him. Perfect peace does not come from perfect circumstances. It comes from unwavering trust. When my mind is fixed on who God is—what He has done, what He is doing, and what He will do—my heart finds rest.

Discussion Questions

1. Peace and Hope
How would you describe the connection between hope and peace in your own life? When hope feels shaky, how does that affect your sense of peace?

2. Peace With God vs. Peace of God
Why is it important to distinguish between peace with God and the peace of God ? Have you experienced one without strongly feeling the other?

3. Circumstances and Peace
The devotional emphasizes that peace does not depend on the absence of trouble. What circumstances in your life currently challenge your ability to rest in God’s peace?

4. Trust and Anxiety
Anxiety is described as focusing on “what ifs.” What are some “what ifs” that tend to dominate your thoughts? How might trusting God reshape those fears?

5. Prayer and Peace
How has prayer helped you experience God’s peace in difficult seasons? In what ways do you struggle to lean into prayer rather than worry?

6. A Mind Stayed on God
Isaiah promises perfect peace to those whose minds are stayed on the Lord. Practically speaking, what helps you keep your mind fixed on God throughout the day?

7. Personal Application
Is there an area of your life right now where God may be inviting you to trust Him more deeply? What would that trust look like in action this week?

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Unshakable Hope IS Possible

Tue, 24 Feb 2026 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

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Introduction: My Journey with Hope

Hope has become one of my favorite topics to explore. When I think about hope, memories of childhood wishes come to mind—like blowing out birthday candles and eagerly tearing into presents, believing that my wish might magically appear. But as I grew older, my wishes changed. Instead of longing for a teddy bear, I wished for something far deeper: to hear my loved one’s voice one more time. The reality that wishes don’t always come true hit me hard, especially as I faced the loss of my father, the original #girldad, who taught me so much and made me feel protected and cherished.

Grief and Thankfulness

Today marks the anniversary of my daddy’s departure from earth. Some call it death, but I believe he is more alive than ever in the presence of Jesus. My parents had come to Alabama to celebrate my birthday but left early because my daddy wasn’t feeling well. On their way home, they were in a car crash. For years, I struggled with guilt, as if I had control over the number of days God gave him. Thankfulness became my anchor, especially when I considered what God did to secure eternal life for His children. I am so grateful for the hope of seeing my daddy again and spending eternity together.

Understanding Biblical Hope

Biblical hope is not just making a wish or hoping for a cheery outcome. It is a belief in an outcome that is certain—a conviction that good will prevail even when things are bad. This hope relies on the truth that God is good, just, loving, and holy, and that He will be faithful to keep His promises. My hope is unshakable because it is rooted in God’s character.

Facing Hopelessness

Before I learned what real biblical hope is, I knew what it was like to feel hopeless and helpless. The hardest things I’ve endured are related to grief, but I know others face different traumas. Suffering often leads to a sense of hopelessness, and that’s where we find common ground. Losing my daddy was devastating, but nothing prepared me for the anguish of losing my son Nicholas. Each year, as the anniversary approached, I relived the event, hoping for a different outcome. My head knew the truth, but my heart refused to accept it.

A Turning Point in Grief

A few weeks before the ninth anniversary of Nicholas’s death, I cried out to God once again. This time, something changed—the heavy cloud of grief lifted. I could laugh, wear bright colors, and breathe freely. It felt as if God was saying He kept me under the weight of suffering for a purpose, and now I was being released. Suffering produced endurance, endurance produced character, and character produced hope. When God’s timing was right, He used the work He did in me to encourage others.

The Source of Hope

Why can I rejoice in suffering? Because hope does not disappoint. The source of this hope is God’s character. David says in Psalm 33:17-22 that we cannot trust in manmade things or our own abilities to save us. Only God’s steadfast love can rescue us. Fearing God and hoping in His love are linked together. We wait with eager expectation for deliverance, trusting God to protect and provide.

Abraham: A Model of Hope

Father Abraham is an example of hope. He waited a long time for God’s promise of a son. Sometimes he strayed, but God held him accountable and ultimately fulfilled His promise. When Abraham was asked to sacrifice Isaac, he trusted that God would provide. Hebrews 11 tells us Abraham believed God could revive Isaac from the dead, even though no one had ever been revived before. Romans 4 says Abraham hoped against hope, giving God the glory and being fully assured that what God promised, He was able to perform. This faith is credited to all who believe in God’s promises.

The Process of Hope

There are no shortcuts to hope. It is the result of a persistent journey through suffering and endurance. Suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces unshakable hope. Nothing is too difficult for the Lord, and He will provide. As a child of God, I have hope for future glory—a desire to glorify and worship Him. The glimpses of glory we experience now are just a taste of what is to come.

The Resurrection: The Basis for Hope

1 Corinthians 15 tells us the reason for hope is the resurrection. Without it, there is no faith or hope. The world says our faith is a crutch, but because of the resurrection, we have a true and better hope. God’s mercy caused me to be reborn to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ. My inheritance is protected by His power, and I live with the expectation that what awaits far outweighs any suffering I endure.

The Difference Between Worldly and Christian Hope

The world’s hope is based on man’s ability, which always falls short. Even with the best intentions, there are no guarantees. The guaranteed inheritance of every child of God is the reward in heaven, sealed by the Holy Spirit. Our hope is based on entrusting our souls to the One who created us and guarantees our eternity.

Heaven: The Ultimate Fulfillment

When bad things happen, it can feel like hope is misplaced, but maybe our view of God is impoverished. I wanted Nicholas to experience all the best this world had to offer, but God had a different plan—an everlasting life in heaven. Is heaven better than earthly achievements? Yes! Once I believed that heaven is more glorious than anything on earth, I started to accept God’s plan for my loved ones. God created everything here to give us a picture of the glory that awaits.

Living with Unshakable Hope

I can live today with the realization that my eternal life has already begun. I believe we should stop saying our loved ones who went to be with Jesus are dead—they are more alive than ever. They are cheering us on to victory. The question is, as long as I live here on this earth, will I keep believing God can be trusted to keep His promises? That is my unshakable hope.

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Courage is Not a One-Time Thing

Tue, 17 Feb 2026 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

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Introduction

As I reflect on my journey and the live sessions we’ve been sharing, one truth stands out: courage is not a one-time thing. It’s a continual practice, woven through moments of faith, vulnerability, and perseverance. I’m learning that courage must be renewed and exercised again and again. Each experience—whether smooth or disjointed—reminds me to keep moving forward and to trust that God will provide the strength I need for the journey.

Mid-Series Recap and Podcast Update

Last week, I sat down with Eric in the studio to talk about how our live sessions are progressing. I called that interview the Courage Live Mid Series Recap . We’re halfway through the series, and I wanted to give everyone an update. The episode posted on February 10th and is available on my website, Apple Podcasts, and Spotify. I’m even considering starting a YouTube channel, though for now, WKUL’s YouTube channel features my podcast among others. While we felt good about the interview, our next live session didn’t go as smoothly—it felt disjointed. Still, our group is forgiving, and since the session was titled Courage is Not a One Time Thing , we’re determined to practice what we preach and keep moving forward.

Everyday Courage in Grief

I opened our live session by asking the group how they’d seen everyday courage recently. Widows and widowers in our group shared stories of learning to live again after losing a spouse. My mom is one of those people. She was recently hospitalized, but her spirits stayed high—her biggest concern was missing her hair appointment! Even after losing my father, she found the courage to keep living. I wrote a book about this journey, Courage to Live: Learning to Live Again After Loss . It’s not a polished work, but it’s my honest journal about losing Nicholas and how God gave me the courage to go on. The message seems to resonate with others, including Eric, and together we felt led to start the Courage for the Journey ministry. We’re just getting started, and I’m grateful for everyone who’s joined us.

Daniel in the Lion’s Den: A Lesson in Courage

We discussed the story of Daniel in the lion’s den from Daniel 6. At 82, Daniel continued to show unwavering faith and courage, even when it meant facing death. Jealous officials tricked King Darius into signing a law that put Daniel’s life at risk, but Daniel stayed true to his faith, praying openly as always. God protected him, and King Darius ultimately praised Daniel’s God. This story reminds me that courage isn’t a one-time act—God expects us to stay the course, and He will give us the courage we need for the journey.

My Struggles with Sharing the Gospel

I want to be honest: sharing the Gospel in unscripted situations terrifies me. Even though I prepare and study, I worry about not having the right words when the moment comes. I dread those spontaneous opportunities, especially when traveling. I know in my head that God is sovereign, but my heart still struggles with fear. I take comfort in Luke 21:13–15 , where Jesus promises that the Holy Spirit will give us the words we need when we bear witness, especially in difficult times.

Internalizing my Faith, Not Memorizing a Script

A recent sermon really spoke to me: “Internalize, don’t memorize.” I realized I don’t need to follow a script when sharing my faith. Instead, I can trust the Holy Spirit to bring to mind what I already know to be true. This shift has lifted a weight off my shoulders and made me less fearful about having Gospel conversations in everyday life.

Boldness Through the Holy Spirit

I’m inspired by the story of Peter and John in Acts 4. Despite opposition, they boldly proclaimed their faith, and their courage inspired their community to pray for even more boldness. I want that kind of boldness—to trust the Holy Spirit to give me the words I need and to pray for courage to speak God’s word with confidence. If we want ground-shaking prayer, we must ask the Holy Spirit for boldness, knowing He will provide.

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The Courage Live Mid Series Recap

Tue, 10 Feb 2026 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Welcome to the Courage Live Mid Series Recap!

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Today, Eric is joining me for our Courage for the Journey LIVE mid-series recap. In other words, we are half-way through the live sessions at our church, and we are reporting on how we see it has been going.

Just to give you some context, Courage for the Journey LIVE is a 6-session series that Eric and I are teaching it to our home church – Cullman First Baptist, in order to gain valuable feedback before we take it on the road to other churches and conferences in the future.

Welcome back to the show babe. Little fun fact…the last time you came on has been my most downloaded podcast to date. So, thank you for that.
For any of you who haven’t’ yet listened, it posted December 30 ^th and is how we kicked off this series.
( Link to episode )

Podcast Interview

Okay, let’s get into this interview.

General Reflections

In general, how do you think it’s going?
It is fun to see people make the connection with the Word of God and start applying it to their daily lives.

Highlights so far

What have been some highlights thus far?

It is always a shot in the arm to reflect on the character of God – who He is and how He deals with us. And then also re-visiting those “heroes of the faith” who certainly are flawed but God used them in amazing ways. Their journeys give us courage as we walk along our own faith journeys. It is also encouraging just to get together with other people and hear their stories and their struggles and their victories.

Foundational Beliefs

Why do you think our view of God has to be the starting point?

Starting with God is good and why He is good and how His goodness impacts our daily lives and how His goodness is actually accomplished because of his omnipotence, and omnipresence, and His omniscience, and His love and His grace and His… In this class we don’t necessarily exhaust all of His attributes, but looking at these 5 foundational ones really is the starting point for being able to have courage for the journey. When the going gets tough (and it will), remembering Who God is, will help you make it through the “valley of the shadow of death.”

On Suffering

No one wants to suffer, but it seems the class appreciated knowing they are not alone in their suffering. Can you expand on that?

Athletics was a very big part of my formative years. I love sports and I love the parallels athletics has to life. Even the apostle Paul drew on the analogies of the athletic arena and the Christian walk. In that arena, an athlete does all kinds of hard things so that they are ready for the game – running mile after mile, sprint after sprint, lifting weights to the point of complete exhaustion, doing drills over and over until “muscle memory” is developed – these are all analogous to the trials and the suffering we endure. Look how many times national champions will point to an adversity during the season that strengthened resolve. Well, the same is true in our Christian walk. Suffering isn’t punitive, it is developmental.

Teaching Courage

Wasn’t it so good to finally talk about courage? That is a fun lesson to teach.

Courage is the shot of adrenaline! The last couple of lessons have been the pep rally, the time to rally the wagons and get excited about the journey again – even though it may be during a season of especially trying times for someone – to look at David fighting Goliath, and Daniel spending the night with the lions, and Paul using his imprisonment to witness to the Roman Imperial guard, and Peter and John and the Church shaking the place with genuine prayer! That is fun stuff to teach.

What’s Next in the Series

Can you tell our listeners what’s left in the series?

Hope – not wishful thinking, but assurance based on a promise and believed in faith. Hope does not disappoint but strengthens. Hope is the aid station at the 18 ^th mile of the marathon that refuels us and revives us to continue on in the race.

Peace with God – the calm that comes in the middle of the storm. This is why we “fear no evil” even though we are walking the scary, threatening valley. God is with us and for us.

And finally, prayer. The realization that we are completely dependent on God to make it to the finish line of this journey.

The Role of Prayer

We started with our view of God, why are we waiting to emphasize prayer until the end?

Logically (and admittedly my strength and weakness is logic, haha)
understanding what prayer is, it is beneficial to know Whom you are praying to, and then why I even need to pray. Prayer becomes much more passionate and powerful when you fully comprehend the character of the Person you are petitioning and knowing the why forces you to come with humility – not with presumption (like our heroes Shadrach, Mesach, and Abed-nego) – no presumption because you understand that God is always Good and always does what is right. No matter the outcome, you can trust the answer as being the Right answer.

While prayer is something that we get better at as we progress in our journey, understanding Who we pray to and why helps. So that is why the course is set up the way it is.

Looking Ahead

Are you willing to come back and do another recap at the end of the series?

Okay, folks, you heard him. You can look forward to that interview in several weeks. And then Courage for the Journey LIVE is hitting the road!

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How Can I Have Courage

Tue, 03 Feb 2026 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

How Can I Have Courage?

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Introduction

As I reflect on my journey through the Courage for the Journey Live series, I realize that courage is not something we simply possess—it’s something we develop, especially through trials. My experiences have taught me that courage is deeply connected to trusting God’s character. This episode is my attempt to answer the question: “How can I have courage?”

Trusting God in Trials

I’ve learned that our view of God shapes whether we trust Him, and that trust is the foundation of courage. Enduring suffering and trials has strengthened my faith and forced me to depend on God alone. One of the hardest times in my life was losing my job, which tested my marriage and our finances. Eric, my husband, was still in school, and my income was our only support. We watched our savings dwindle and faced uncertainty about how we’d pay rent or buy groceries. During this time, our church community stepped in with generosity, reminding me that God provides in unexpected ways. These months changed us, making us more generous and deepening our dependence on God.

Standing Up for My Beliefs

As a nurse, I was passionate about women’s and children’s health. When I applied for a job in Labor and Delivery, I was assured I wouldn’t have to assist with abortions. Nine months later, I was assigned to care for a woman having an abortion. I refused, citing my convictions, and was told by the director that I misunderstood—everyone had to assist. I stood my ground, and my job ended. Only one other nurse confided that she wished she could say no, but she needed the job. Eric and I had no income, and it took four months to find another job. We relied on our savings and the kindness of others, learning to wait on the Lord and trust His plan, even when it wasn’t clear. This experience taught me that courage sometimes means waiting for God to honor that stand.

Lessons from David and Goliath

The story of David and Goliath in 1 Samuel 17 resonates deeply with me. David faced discouragement from his father, his oldest brother, King Saul, and his enemy, Goliath. Each tried to undermine his confidence, but David’s courage came from his trust in God, not his own abilities or past victories. He sought God’s glory, not his own, and believed that the Lord would deliver him. David’s courage was contagious—after he defeated Goliath, the Israelite army found the courage to pursue victory. This story reminds me that courage isn’t self-generated; it comes from knowing and trusting God’s character.

Facing Discouragement

I’ve faced voices of discouragement, just as David did. Sometimes, those voices speak the truth, making the discouragement even harder to overcome. But I’ve learned that trusting God’s character is the key to moving forward despite doubts and fears.

The Source of Courage

David didn’t rely on his own strength or past successes. He credited God for his victories and sought to honor Him. I strive to do the same, knowing that true courage comes from seeking God’s glory and trusting in His faithfulness.

Courage is Contagious

I see contagious courage in my own life, especially among the elderly women I know—my mom, my mother-in-law, and a widow our Sunday School class adopted. Their perseverance through physical struggles inspires me. My mother-in-law, who has multiple sclerosis and has been in a wheelchair for decades, continues to live independently and serve the Lord. Her courage teaches me to persevere, depend on God, and minister to others, no matter my circumstances.

Paul’s Example of Contagious Courage in Adversity

Paul’s imprisonment, as described in Philippians 1:12-14 , shows how trials can advance the gospel and embolden others. Paul’s courage gave fellow believers confidence to speak the Word of God without fear. His struggles didn’t make others shrink back; instead, they became more bold. This reminds me that courage is produced by the Lord and can spread from one person’s example to many.

What I’ve Learned About Courage

Courage isn’t a one-time achievement. It’s a continual process of trusting God through repeated struggles. Trials and suffering are opportunities to develop faith, courage, and generosity. The example of courageous individuals inspires others to persevere and act boldly. Ultimately, courage comes from God’s character and faithfulness, not from personal strength or past victories.

Conclusion: Leaving the Battle in God’s Hands

I’ve learned that struggles will continue throughout life, with only short reprieves in between. When new battles arise, I’m often surprised by how hard they are, and I have to remind myself to lean on God’s strength instead of my own. Courage is developed over time, through repeated dependence on God.

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Why Does God Want Me to Suffer

Tue, 27 Jan 2026 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

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Should We be Rescued from Life’s Challenges

Today as we continue in our Courage for the Journey Live series, we are talking about suffering. No one wants to suffer. I know I don’t. That is not a happy thought. I avoid suffering as much as possible.

When we asked our class what happens if we get rescued from life’s challenges, including suffering, they concluded that avoiding struggles or being rescued from trials prevented growth and development that would enable them to be overcomers of difficulties. Instead, they would be weak and ill-equipped to handle life’s challenges.

Consider the Butterfly.

Then we considered the butterfly. Isn’t God so good to give us this beautiful creature that symbolizes struggle?

The butterfly symbolizes struggle because its difficult, forceful emergence from the cocoon is essential for building the muscle and fluid needed for its wings to fly.

The struggle inside the cocoon is physically necessary because the intense effort to break free pumps vital fluids from the body into the wings and the resistance against the cocoon’s walls gives them structure and strength for flight. If the butterfly is helped prematurely, it will not develop the muscles necessary to survive and fly.

The struggle in the cocoon is a metaphor for life. It represents how life’s challenges are necessary for developing character and resilience. Avoiding hardships in life can prevent the vital transformation of growth and strength.
Just as the butterfly builds physical strength, human struggles build inner strength, resilience, and character. Difficult seasons are seen as periods of metamorphosis, where darkness and uncertainty lead to becoming stronger, wiser, and more beautiful.

Suffering is a Trial on a Deeper Level

No one wants to endure trials but that’s where most growth occurs. Suffering is a trial on a deeper level. 

Who is Job

Let’s consider our brother Job from the book of Job, chapters 1&2 (Job 1:1 – 2:10 ).

You may be familiar with the story, but I want you to listen with fresh ears. There is a reason we look at Job when we talk about suffering.

Job was blameless and upright. He feared God and turned away from evil.
He had 10 children, a farm full of animals, and many servants. God had blessed him. He was considered the greatest of all the people of the east.

Job continuously intervened on his children’s behalf before God, just in case one of them sinned.

So far so good.

Consider Job’s Character

But wait.

One day, when Satan had been walking all over the earth looking to see who he could accuse of disloyalty, God allowed him to join the heavenly beings who presented themselves before the LORD.

I don’t know how often he was permitted to appear before the LORD, but satan’s favorite thing is to trap then accuse God’s children of disloyalty. And he’s pretty good at it.

On this particular day, the LORD asks him, “have you considered my servant Job?” What?!?! This is the LORD in all caps – the only true God and sovereign ruler of the universe. Can you imagine what a frenzy that put satan in?

Then the LORD goes on to describe Job as blameless and upright, fearing God and turning away from evil. To which satan replies, “does he fear You for no reason?” It’s because You have protected him and blessed him.

In other words, up until this point, Job never had to endure anything hard.
And that is about to change. Satan tells the LORD that if He removes His hand of blessing and protection, Job will curse Him to His face.

The LORD says okay. The LORD says okay to satan, meaning I will allow you to do your worst, only don’t touch him physically. YIKES!

Once he realizes he has God’s permission, it does not take satan long to wreak absolute havoc and destruction on Job and his wife from all directions.

The Sabeans come from the south and steal his oxen and donkeys and kill his servants, save 1.
Fire from heaven comes down and burns up the sheep and shepherds, save 1.
The Chaldeans come in three groups and raid the camels and strike down the servants, save 1.
The ones that were saved were only allowed to live so they could go and tell Job what had happened.

But Satan Saved the Worst for Last.

Just when the news seemed it couldn’t get any worse, there came another servant who said,

“your sons and daughters were eating and drinking wine in their oldest brother’s house, and behold, a great wind came across the wilderness and struck the four corners of the house, and it fell upon the young people, and they are dead, and I alone have escaped to tell you.”

Wow! Job and Mrs. Job lost everything all at once.

The worst of which was their children. All of them. No one was out sick or stayed home because they didn’t feel like coming. All of them were present when tragedy struck. And all of them died.

Take my income, my possessions, my livelihood, anything else, but please LORD don’t take my children!

Job arose and in his grief-stricken state, he tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he immediately fell on the ground and worshipped. He worshipped.

And his response is quite incredible! He said, “Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked shall I return. The LORD gave, and the LORD has taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD.”

In all this Job did not sin or charge God with wrong. He is grieving but he doesn’t blame God. But that’s not the end. There’s more.

I don’t know how much time goes by before the LORD permits satan to come before him again. And again, satan has been walking the whole earth looking for who he can accuse.

Consider Job’s Character…Again

And again, the LORD asks him, “have you considered my servant Job.”

Job has no idea this conversation is going on. If he did, even the righteous Job may have said, LORD, please do not ask satan to consider me.

The LORD goes on to tell satan how Job held fast to his integrity even though satan tried to destroy him for no reason.

To which satan replies, “that’s because you wouldn’t permit me to touch him physically.”

He was saying Job gladly gave the skin of his livestock and the skin of his children in order to save his own skin. As if physical suffering would be worse than the grief he is already suffering.

Once again, the LORD permits satan to do his worst but he had to spare Job’s life.

Sparing Job’s life was not a mercy, but the LORD is in control this whole time. He had a purpose in all of this.

Satan makes quick order with this new permission and immediately struck Job with loathsome sores from the sole of his foot to the crown of his head.

Job is left at the city dump with nothing but a piece of broken pottery he uses to scrape himself while he sits in ashes.

Whatever this painful skin disease was, it progressively gets worse. To the point, the three worthless friends who came to visit were speechless for a week.

Even his wife, who feels like she can’t handle any more, asks him why he continues to hold fast to his integrity. She says, “just curse God and die,” knowing that would likely mean her own death as well.

God Brings the Good but also the Calamity

Job does not heed his wife’s sad advice but instead warns her against speaking like a foolish woman who rejects God’s will, as he says, “shall we receive good from God, but not evil?” Meaning God brings the good but also permits the calamity and the disaster.

God brings the good but also permits the calamity and the disaster.

The bible says, in all of this suffering, Job still does not sin with his lips.
I don’t know if that means there were times he sinned in his heart, but his speech was still righteous or if he remained sinless in thought, word, and deed throughout the whole calamity.

Regardless, I don’t identify with that ability to control one’s speech, especially if I am suffering.

What can we learn from this incredible story of suffering?

First, Suffering is a Privilege.

I know how that sounds but hang in here with me for a minute so I can explain.

Job finds himself in a cosmic battle that he is completely unaware of. Spoiler alert! Job does come forth as gold after going through this intense, horrific trial, and he is fully restored and then some.

BUT the most fascinating thing about Job and his faith and his integrity is…he is never told why!

Even at the end when everything is restored, God doesn’t tell him why he had to endure this horrific suffering. Through the test, God used him to defeat Satan. Not the once and for all defeat that Jesus delivers through His death and resurrection.

But the battle was won.

You and I have the same privilege of engaging in this cosmic struggle and fighting with and for our Lord and Savior. The battle lines are drawn, and the opposing forces are not equal. We have been called to the winning side!

This question at the center of the book of Job is addressed to us all.

Why do we serve God?
Is it just for what we can get out of it?
Or is ours a faith rooted in the reality of a personal communion with God himself— for His sake?

Job’s wife encouraged him to just curse God and die. She basically says, “please put us both out of our misery.”

Those closest to us can provide the greatest temptation/test. Look at Adam and Eve, Abraham and Sarah (when she gave Hagar to Abraham), and Ahab and Jezebel.

Mrs. Job was wrong, of course; but in all fairness, we must consider her situation. She had lost ten children in one day, and that would be enough to devastate any mother.

The family wealth was gone, and she was no longer the “leading lady” in the land. Her husband, once the greatest man in the East, was now sitting at the city garbage dump, suffering from a terrible disease.

What did she have left? Rather than watch her husband waste away in pain and shame, she would prefer that God strike him dead and get it over with immediately.

In short, she wanted to give up too soon.

Second, Don’t Give Up Too Soon

That brings us to the second thing we learn from this story of suffering.

Don’t Give Up Too Soon.

Maybe, like me, you have questioned how to keep living in the present where we see brokenness all around.

I feel so much empathy for those suffering because I know what it’s like to feel the anguish of a broken heart plummeting me to the depths of grief’s despair.

So, it is important to answer why we should not give up, when we are most tempted to give up, and how not to give up too soon.

Our brothers Paul, James, and Peter shed some light on what happens if we persevere.

Paul is telling us that suffering has a purpose because it produces endurance.
Endurance is good as it informs me to keep hanging on until it produces character.

I should be excited about greater character, but honestly, it’s not worth the suffering to me.

This is when I get discouraged and I’m tempted to give up.
But God, in His faithfulness, won’t let me. He holds on to me when I want to let go of Him.

And by His Spirit, He shows me that if I don’t give up too soon, character produces Hope.

And Hope does not disappoint. It is worth the suffering.

In the book he writes to the tribes scattered because of persecution, our brother James says,

James is telling us not to give up too soon by considering our trials as joy.
Joy when I’m going through a difficult time? What is James saying?

Do you remember the butterfly? Without the struggle the butterfly would not develop the strength and resilience needed to fly.

The Greek word chará means joy, but the sense of the word is that the trial is the cause of the joy!

James understands that this seems counter-intuitive and he puts the word “consider” in front of it.

He knows he is going to make the reader pause and think about this for a moment -that difficult circumstance or trials will grow your faith.

But how ? How do trials grow our faith?
The trial produces steadfastness which makes us persevere. It refers to that quality of character which does not allow one to surrender to circumstances or succumb under trial.

Once perseverance has had its full effect, you will have a mature faith. How do we get to this maturity? We go through various kinds of trials (plural)!
You will never meet a person of “strong faith” who has not endured various trials!

Like Paul and James, Peter also gives us some insight into why we don’t give up too soon by telling us to rejoice when we are grieved.

Before diving into this passage, it is interesting that James and Peter both use the term “various trials.” The original Greek is a much more poetic word than the English “various.” It can mean “many-colored” and varied.

Trials come in different shapes and sizes. Some of them we bring on ourselves. Some of them are no fault of our own. Some of them are long-lasting and some are just a blip in time.

BUT, we all face trials/hardship/testing/difficulty!

One of our class members told us how important it was for them to tell those she and her husband were sharing the gospel with that they would suffer as a Christian if the chose to believe. The culture they were living in was saturated with the prosperity gospel and they wanted them to consider the cost before they made a decision.

Peter says we can rejoice when we have been grieved by trials.

This does not make sense to our 21 ^st century, Western ears. These 2 do not go together!

How in the world do I rejoice in my hardship?!!

Peter answers this important question in vs. 7. The word “genuineness” was used in NT times as a description of metals that were without alloy. The gold or silver had been tested and found to be pure.

Peter is equating that process of metals to our faith. Our faith becomes pure by these various trials!

That’s why we can rejoice – the trial is making our faith pure (or mature)
The result: Praise, Glory, and Honor when Jesus returns.

So, when am I most tempted to give up too soon?

I listen to the lies of satan instead of believing God is who He says and will do what He promises.
Or I rely on my own strength instead of leaning on God’s.
Maybe it’s not in the time frame I think it should be or the outcome is different from what I imagined. I’m talking about real hurts and painful losses that I cannot fathom could be a part of God’s sovereign plan.

I give up too soon when I take my eyes off Jesus and believe the lie that the glory that awaits is not worth what I must endure. And that is a lie satan loves to tell.

Maybe you are thinking, well that’s great for you Julie.

But what am I supposed to do when I am tempted to give up?

Cry out to God and keep on crying. Just keep on crying.
Build people into your life that you can contact any time day or night when you are struggling.
- Call them my people . Identify them as my people .
- I think 5 is a good number to have, but at least 3 for the introverts.
- You will know who they are, because they are the ones checking on you, already asking if they can do anything.
- Don’t tell them you’re fine, when you both know that is not true.
Then when you need them, text them and simply say, “I’m struggling.” This will cue them to get on their knees and do battle for you, bringing you before God’s throne of grace asking Him to lift you up.
Listen to music that speaks truth about God or read Psalms while you wait for the miracle, believing it will happen.

*It has never not happened for me. Every single time I have engaged my people in the battle and to approach God’s Throne of Grace on my behalf, I have been spiritually, emotionally, and physically lifted up!

Why does this work?

I have asked myself why this keeps on working.

This is what I have come up with based on what I know to be true from God’s Word.

It shows absolute dependence on God. You are in the pit and you know you have nowhere else to turn.
It takes humility to ask others to join in. This is when the miracle happens. When we humble ourselves.
God delights in the intercession of the community where He is in the midst.

Do I continue to suffer? Yes. But I move through the transformative process more quickly to bask in Hope that does not disappoint . I have the memorial stones of God’s faithfulness to lean on. My testimony is that God has never not been faithful. I have no other reason to be hopeful. But God, in His love, makes sense of the suffering. So, I can endure a little longer and then a little longer still as I wait expectantly for Christ’s return.

Finally, What Can I Get Out of This?

Finally, what we learn from Job in times of severe testing is to ask not, “ How can I get out of this?” but “ What can I get out of this?”

Faith is living without scheming. It is obeying God in spite of feelings, circumstances, or consequences, knowing that He is working out His perfect plan in His way and in His time.

Do you remember Job’s response, “shall we receive good from God, and shall we not receive evil?”

This statement makes us pause for a moment because we don’t like that Job seems to imply that God gives good and evil, and we know that is not true.
So, what exactly is Job saying here?

The word in Hebrew for evil can (and usually does) mean morally flawed, wicked. But it can also mean calamity or disaster. Job understood the Sovereignty of God and would not take up the “foolish” (morally bankrupt) attitude of his wife. He would not curse (rebel against) God.

Satan had told God that Job would curse God. His wife encouraged him to take that path and Job refused (just as God told Satan). It was reasonable that Job’s wife wanted to die. I think Job wanted to die too. He just wasn’t willing to curse God to get there.

You have to be there for one another.

Husbands and wives, listen up!

Eric and I have never been drinkers. We do not think having a drink is a sin. But there is alcoholism in our family trees. So, Eric thinks it would be too easy for us to overindulge once we got started. He has asked that we just don’t get started.
There have been lots of times, I want to participate in a social beverage, but I usually don’t because it would discourage Eric.

Then, when Nicholas died, we both wanted to drink. It was a crazy notion for us to turn to. We have never been drinkers, not even socially.

And this would not be a social call. Our reason for drinking would have been to numb the excruciating pain we were feeling. It would have been understandable. Our son had died. The pain felt unbearable. But it would have been the wrong decision.

Thankfully one of us was always feeling a little stronger when the other was weak. And we could talk each other out of it.

God strengthened us individually, but also together. Our relationship has been tested, and it has endured. We have the battle scars to show for it.
But now, we are the strongest we have ever been. God’s grace has been sufficient to help us endure what He asked of us. We give each other the benefit of the doubt. We get over stuff that doesn’t matter. We cheer for one another’s success.

We tend to not think so highly of Job’s wife based on the little interaction we have with her. But when Job’s fortune and family are restored, it’s with his wife.
It makes me think they were also strengthened together. Even though they were tempted to give up too soon, they didn’t.

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Why Our View of God Matters, part 2

Tue, 20 Jan 2026 14:50:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Introduction

Click the play button below to listen to the podcast

/why-our-view-of-god-matters-part-2

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Last week, Eric and I started the Courage for the Journey Live series at our church, and I reflected on the first session on the last podcast.

Why our view of God matters could not be contained in one week, and it continues this week with attributes of our God who strengthens and our God who is able. These are attributes of God that give us particular insight on this journey to learn how to live courageously.

Eric and I discussed and disagreed and then came to some measure of agreement on which attributes to include in this series, knowing God’s character will naturally arise in our teaching as we go.

It would take at least 23 weeks to discuss a more thorough list, so we encouraged our class to download the kindle app and purchase A.W. Tozer’s book, Knowledge of the Holy: Understanding the Attributes and Nature of God , for 19 cents.

Tozer writes 23 fairly short chapters to his congregation in a way that is easy to understand so they could embrace the beautiful Truths of who God is.

And here it is, re-published in 2025, for us to enhance our understanding of Why Our View of God Matters. I plan to add this book to my list of reading for 2026. I haven’t finished my reading list from 2025, but that’s okay. My goals in general tend to carry over from year to year.

Our God Strengthens

The primary passages we used to teach more about the nature of God this week are from Isaiah 40 from which we learn Our God Strengthens and Daniel 3 – Our God is Able.

Isaiah 40 complements what we learned about God last week from David in Psalm 139:

He is the everlasting Creator
His almighty power endures
His knowledge and understanding are impossible to comprehend.

And yet, when you behold the greatness of God, you see everything else in life in its proper perspective.

Does God Even Care

The context of Isaiah 40 is that the nation of Israel is returning from Babylonia to Jerusalem. This is where they have been exiled for 70 years as judgment for continuous gross idolatry.

Jerusalem is supposed to be heralding the good news that this return could only be accomplished by the mighty arm of God. But the people aren’t feeling it. The nation of Israel tells God that He isn’t seeing their plight and the journey from Babylon back to Jerusalem is too long and too difficult and God doesn’t even seem to care.

It’s as if they would rather be exiles than the sovereign nation God called them to be as His chosen people.

Strength Renewed

Isaiah then moves on to tell them how God renews His people.

Isaiah 40:29-31 says:

He gives power to the weak, not the kind of strength and energy of a young person that eventually fades. This power renews and never fades. Every speed and every ability is included in this promise.

The Condition

But there is a condition. You must wait for the Lord.

What does it mean to “wait for the Lord?”

Does anyone like to wait?

We asked our class to list what they don’t like to wait for. They said the waiting room at the doctor’s office, redlights, and the grocery line. That person is apparently frugal because she doesn’t use a grocery delivery service. It seems faster for her to just go and do it herself. Until she has to wait in line to pay.
I’m just kidding. She is a friend of mine and she knows I am not patient either. It’s one of the fruits of the Spirit that God has been trying to teach me my whole life. It seems like things we don’t yield to the control of the Holy Spirit just get more magnified as we get older. I am really hoping to have this figured out in the next couple of decades. I can tell I am improving though.

I take my mother-in-law to all of her Dr’s appointments. She always brings her Kindle and has taught me I can take a book with me on the kindle app on my phone everywhere I go.

We plan to use the time in the waiting room to read. So, I get disappointed if she finishes up before I’m ready. I’m thinking, “can you wait a minute until I get to the end of the chapter?”

Waiting on the Lord from Hebrews 11

But that’s not the same as waiting on the Lord.
It seems easier to wait if it’s something I can plan for. But when the Lord brings something unexpected and asks me to wait on Him, even though I know a large part of my growth occurs in the waiting, it feels like a very long time.

In Hebrews 11, the heroes of the faith were counted as such because they waited and waited but never received what was promised this side of heaven. By faith, these saints looked forward to a physical city whose designer and builder was God.

They acknowledged they were strangers and exiles on this earth and were seeking their Homeland. They would have been given the opportunity to return to the land of promise on this earth. But because they desired a better heavenly Country, they waved and greeted the temporal promised land from afar. They found they didn’t need it.

God had made ready a better City for them.

They desired it and Him over anything this earth had to offer.

This enabled them to wait with endurance as they looked forward to the realization of Going Home.

Why It’s Good to Wait

Learning to wait is one of the hardest but most important aspects of Christian life. It develops absolute dependence on God and ensures actions are taken in His timing.

This kind of waiting is characterized by persistent expectation, like a watchman waiting for morning, and involves hoping in God’s Word and trusting He will come through as He promised.

Why is it good to wait for the Lord?

He is with us every moment and working for our good because He loves us. We can be strong and let our heart take courage even as we realize this is hard. Then keep on seeking and keep on waiting for the Lord who will hear us. ( Lam. 3:25-26 , Psa. 27:14 , Prov. 3:5-6 , Mic. 7:7 )

Paul Waited

Do you remember Paul’s take on waiting for the Lord from 2 Corinthians 12?

Three times He asked God to take away something that was inflicting him and grieving him. We don’t know exactly what he was enduring, but Paul endured beatings, snake bites, and shipwrecks -so it appears to be something of significance.

He concluded that God’s grace was sufficient as God’s power was perfected in Paul’s weakness. Paul could boast of his affliction because that’s when the power of Christ rested on him.

Our God is Able

Do you ever doubt the power of God?

Maybe you’re like me and you start thinking, “if God is so powerful, why doesn’t He use that power to heal my loved one or protect them from harm?”

I don’t struggle with how powerful God is. I am fully aware of His almighty power. I struggle when He doesn’t use that power to do what I want Him to.
I am going to get serious with you for just a minute.

When we cried out and asked God to save Nicholas, we knew He had the power to do it, so why didn’t He? Since He has this awesome power, what is He going to use it for if not to do something that seemed so obvious to us?

But it’s not just us. We aren’t the only ones enduring trials. There is enough suffering in the world to go around. And honestly, we what have suffered is mild in comparison to what others have endured. And what our brothers and sisters in Christ who suffer persecution around the world endure.

Suffering is not new. The fall of man opened the door for the evil genius prince satan to wreak havoc on Christians.

Faith not Outcome Makes You Heroic

Here’s what Hebrews 11 has to say about those heroes of faith. Brace yourself because it’s kind of graphic.

These verses immediately follow those who victoriously conquered kingdoms, stopped the mouths of lions, and escaped the edge of the sword. As if their faith is what made them heroic, not the outcome.

Jesus Conquered the Grave

Nicholas means victorious, but he had a short earthly life.

We have struggled with anger about why that happened when we know God could have done something about it. But we couldn’t stay angry when we considered God wasn’t asking us to do anything He hadn’t done Himself. He gave His Son to die a horrible death so our son could have an eternal life.
Then Jesus victoriously conquered death with His resurrection.

So, we can wait a little longer until we meet again and then for all eternity.
The days can seem long. We need encouragement along the way as other annoying trials come up. I’m tempted to think, Lord, why is this happening? Don’t You think I have endured enough suffering to last a lifetime? Eric is asking similar questions, just maybe not out loud or so brazenly.

Do you want to know how God answers us? He gently leans in and His Spirit whispers, “I will meet you in the fire.”

God meets us in the fire.

This is what we learn from Daniel 3.

Four Outstanding Men

The historical context comes before what was recorded in Isaiah 40. At this point in the story, Babylon has just conquered Judah. As stated before, God uses this to judge his people for the purpose of getting them to see their sin of idolatry.
God planned all along to return them to the land of promise, but they have to re-learn dependence on the Him first. And they are going to learn that by being in exile. But not before the King of Judah thinks he can rebel against the King Nebuchadnezzar of Babylon.

Nebuchadnezzar is one the most arrogant characters you will find in the bible. He doesn’t take kindly to rebellion. So, he takes away the nobles and the best and brightest of Judah to serve him in his palace.

Four men stood out. These are strong, handsome, intelligent young men who had a bright future ahead them. And they proclaimed Yahweh is the only true God.

We remember Daniel, but the other three we remember by their pagan Babylonian names.
Once captured, they were indoctrinated in the ways of the world of Babylon. Their names were changed in an attempt to change their identity.
Hananiah which means Yahweh has been gracious was changed to Shadrach which means command of Aku, a Babylonian god.

Mishael – who is like the Lord is changed to Meshach – who is like Aku
Azariah – the Lord is my helper is changed to Abed-nego -servant of Nego, the vegetation god.

Daniel means Yahweh God is my judge and his name was changed to Belteshazzar -Bel protect the king. Meaning the pagan god Bel would protect the king of Babylon.

These name changes were intended to be degrading and insulting, but these godly young men did not forget who they really served.

King Neb’s Statue

Meanwhile King Neb sets up this giant 90-foot statue of himself and commands everyone to bow down and worship. And if they don’t, they will be thrown in the fiery furnace. Three men don’t bow to the image. They quietly disobey the command, choosing to obey God rather than men. I don’t know where Daniel was. Based on what we know about him, we can assume he wouldn’t bow down either.

They have remained faithful to God. He had a purpose in making them successful beyond expectation and they have been appointed over the affairs of Babylon.

The Babylonian fortune tellers hate them and maliciously accuse them before King Neb saying, “those Jews you appointed don’t pay any attention to you. They do not serve your gods or worship the golden image you set up. So, what are you gonna do about it?”

Egomaniacs are easily enraged. Nebuchadnezzar furiously commands these three to come before him. He questions if these accusations are true and gives them another chance. But then says, “if you do not worship, you shall immediately be cast into a burning fiery furnace. And who is the god who will deliver you out of my hands?”

We Are Not Going To Bow Down

Ole Nebbie had no idea this was the exact wrong thing to say. Those words only encouraged them to stand with a rod of steel in their backbone.

They said, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom we serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image you have set up.”

Nebbie is filled with fury. He orders the furnace to be heated seven times hotter than usual. It’s so overheated, his mighty men were killed by the flames as they took up these three to throw them in. And the three fell bound into the burning fiery furnace.

In just a short time, Nebbie says, “wait a second, didn’t we throw in three men?” His counselors agree this is true. “Then why do I see four men unbound walking around in the midst of the fire? They are not even hurt and the fourth has the appearance like a son of the gods.”

Nebbie came near to the door and declares, “Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, servants of the Most High God, come on out of there!”

Remember what their Babylonian names mean? It’s as if he is declaring their gods are nothing compared to the Most High God. We know that’s true, but for a pagan king to declare is something else.

When they come out, not a hair on their heads was singed, their cloaks were not harmed, and there was not even the smell of smoke on them.

I’m not saying Ole King Neb became a Christian that day. But he did humble himself just enough to say, “Blessed be the God of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, who has sent His angel and delivered His servants, who trusted in him, and set aside the king’s command, and yielded up their bodies rather than serve and worship any god except their own God. For there is no other god who is able to rescue in this way.”

Neb also characteristically adds that anyone who speaks against their God will be torn limb from limb. But alas, he’s a work in progress.

We Were Made to Worship God

We hear more about Daniel’s time in Babylon and how he courageously continued to serve God, but these three brave men are never heard of again. What we do learn from them is timeless.

Who do you worship?

We were made to worship. Our chief end is to bring glory to God and worship Him in all that we say and do forever. Anything other than that is idolatry. Period.

It may not be a 90-foot statue, but it could easily become science, status, or accomplishment. This is misplaced worship and it will not satisfy. When the hard times come, they will scream in your face just like Nebuchadnezzar, “who is the god who will deliver you out of my hands?”

The only right response is to be like these brave young men. Even if you are quaking in your boots, take a stand, and say, “My God whom I serve is able to deliver me, but even if He doesn’t, let it be known, I will not serve any other god.”

Closing

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Why Our View of God Matters

Tue, 13 Jan 2026 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Our View of God and Why it Matters

Click the play button below

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Today I am reflecting on our Courage for the Journey Live series that Eric and I are co-leading.

We made this announcement in my podcast interview with him. He was so good in that interview, and I would love for you to hear it. If you want to check it out, it was posted on December 30 ^th .

This past Wednesday, we taught our first session in the series:

Why Our View of God Matters.

We both felt God leading us to do this, we put a lot of study and prayer into the preparation, and my interview with Eric had gone so well, so I assumed it would go off seamlessly. But it didn’t. It went okay, but not great. And I wanted it to be perfect the first time.

The good news is the substance of the teaching was God’s Word and that is always good. And I trust the Holy Spirit will not let that return void in the hearts and minds of the gracious crowd that gathered.

If we speak Truth, the Holy Spirit has something to work with. That’s always a comfort. And reminds me when we do what we do for God’s Glory, we also trust Him for the results.

So, Eric and I will work on our transitions, and we will see what happens next week.

I do want to reflect on what was taught in Session 1. It’s about our view of God -who He is and how our view of Him informs how we live.

Knowing God helps us answer the question, “can God be trusted to come through?”

God Uses Hard Things

God has used trials – hard things in life- to teach us who He is on a deeper level. As a young Christian, I didn’t want to admit that getting to know God was different than what I expected.

I didn’t always like what I saw because He was showing Himself to be different than the god I thought He was.

One of the first really tragic events in my life was the spontaneous abortion of my first pregnancy. Only we called it a miscarriage, because there was a problem with the way my body was carrying my baby.

My OB/Gyn was not available when I was miscarrying. The one on call for the group told me this was nature’s way of taking care of things , as if the baby would be unwanted if something was less than perfect with him or her.

But I should be able to carry on, because it wasn’t my fault.

She meant it to encourage me as a young healthy woman able to get pregnant again, only it disturbed me as I wrestled with thoughts of wondering if God was taking my baby because I wouldn’t have been able to handle him or her if there was something “wrong”.

I grew up with kindness in my household. I became a nurse to show mercy to others. To think my baby had to die because I could not take care of them if they had something wrong exposed me. If this were true, what kind of a monster was I?

And just to make sure I realized the depths of my selfishness, nature took care of things a second time, right on the heels of the first.
I was devastated by both losses and the idea of the bad person I was. I thought if only I had better character or was stronger God would not have had to take my babies.

Eric and I did not seek to understand and comfort one another well during these losses. I think we wanted to, but we didn’t know how. We were grieving differently and longed to be intimate again, but it seemed forces were against us.

I think I expected Eric fulfill me in a way that only God can. And when he didn’t, it threatened to drive us apart.
Thankfully, we both love the Lord. And He was committed to holding us together.

Psalm 139

It was at this time, a friend gave me Psalm 139 to read and consider. It comforted me even though I didn’t really understand all that I was reading.

Over the years God would bring Eric to this passage as well to teach us both our view of Him was of primary importance. So, it is not a surprise when we were discussing the curriculum for this Courage for the Journey series, that Psalm 139 would be the first passage we looked at.

I’m not going to read the whole passage to you. But it would be helpful, when you have a moment of quiet to open your bible and read it for yourself.

Verses 1-6

In the first six verses we learn that God is all-knowing. And not only that He knows everything, but how far He will go to know us.

I like to think I am an open book to God. That I welcome Him to search me completely and know me fully. But if I am honest, there are some things I am tempted to hide.

Which is ridiculous because God knows every little thing about me. His hand is intended to be gentle and reassuring to draw me close. But sometimes it can feel overwhelming.

God knows us so personally. We will continue talking about this as we go along.
It is magnificent to consider but also intense. If such knowledge feels so lofty you sometimes feel the urge to escape, you are not alone. Which transitions us to the next stanza.

Verses 7-12

Verses 7-12 teaches us about God’s presence.

He is present everywhere and not bound by time or space. He doesn’t have a beginning, and He created time and space. Time and space are created for our benefit to bring order and structure, but He’s not bound by it.

This attribute is closely related to His eternality. He never had a beginning and He will never end. We can somewhat grapple with life eternal future because therein lies our hope. But to think but to think God never had a beginning and just always existed, blows our minds.

Think about a time in your life when God used something hard to get you to see His presence was with you all along.

When trials come, I tend to have extreme responses -that either God has left me all alone or where can I go to flee Him. When I suffered those first two losses, I felt tormented and my initial response was to try to flee from God.

There is absolutely no where I could go to be free of God’s presence. His presence is everywhere. God intends this truth to be comforting. But since I was trying to hide, it was terrifying.

This passage reminds us of another of God’s prophets.

Poor Jonah was miserable as he tried to flee God. He found out this was not possible as God appointed a big fish to swallow him up. He hung out in there for three days to contemplate whether or not he would surrender to God.

Then he called out to the LORD in distress. You can read his prayer in Jonah 2.
I know this is a picture of Christ’s burial, but doesn’t it seem like Jonah would have cried out sooner than three days from the belly of a fish?

Sometimes we think darkness will hide us from God. But there is no darkness with God. He is light and that light shines so brightly, darkness is as light to Him. There is nowhere to go to run and hide from God.

May we, like David, come to realize this is a very good thing.

I no longer think my miscarriages were a result of my sin, but God did use the loss in my life to get me to realize I could not run or hide from Him. And when I stopped trying to, I was comforted by His presence. He knew me and loved me and His strong right hand was intended to hold me.

How can we remind ourselves this week to practice God’s presence?

As the Psalm continues, it brings the first two stanzas together to carry forward the thought of our Creator as the Author of every detail of our being.

Verses 13-16

Verses 13-16 teach us about God laying out the course of our life.

This section illustrates how well God knows us. There is no more deeper concealment than the womb. We see from these verses that God set His special love on us from the earliest stages of personal life.

This also shows the sovereignty of God in reproduction.

Eric asked us if we have lost our sense of wonder over the miracle of conception and birth. Do we approach life as merely scientific and even think in our arrogance that we can control birth? David teaches us otherwise.

When God formed us, He laid out the course of our lives and set us apart for distinction. Nothing was hidden as we were intricately woven, as if embroidered with various colors.

All the days of our life were written in His book before there was even one of them.

When we walk through the fire of trials and testing, we have no fear! Why? Because God knows. God is there. God is powerful enough to create us and sustain us.

This is a special comfort as I contemplate the lives of my unborn babies. I never got to see them or know them this side of heaven. What used to torment me, I now find comforting as I have assurance of God’s plan and care for them.

Verses 17-18

Moving on, in Psalm 139:17-18 David shares his response to the vast extent of God’s thoughts and power.

¹⁷ How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
    How vast is the sum of them!

¹⁸ If I would count them, they are more than the sand.
    I awake, and I am still with you.

This is a little overwhelming and feels a little heavy to contemplate, and maybe it should. But this is what David has come to realize: God will not leave the work of His own hands to chance.

God knows us. And every time we awake, He is ready to meet with us so we can know Him.

Verses 19-22

While we are still basking in the glow of knowing God and being known by Him, as we continue in the text, the next verses may seem a bit disturbing.
Verses 19-22 discuss David’s feelings towards the wicked.

Oh, what to do with these verses! Some may like to cut them out of this Psalm or feel as though they don’t fit here.

Derek Kidner gives really good insights to help walk us through this. Kidner says that “the abrupt change from reverie to resolve is disturbing, but that evil boasting in full view of God is intolerable.”

I love it that David, under divine inspiration, does not shy away from making us uncomfortable. Just sit and be uncomfortable for minute as we consider these verses and how they fit in the context of the whole passage.

David says that the wicked speak against God with malicious intent and His enemies take God’s name in vain.

When the boys were little, we were very strict about taking the Lord’s name in vain. After all, it’s one of the ten commandments and God will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain. So, we wouldn’t let the boys even say gosh. It was too close to being irreverent.

But this passage is teaching that taking the Lord’s name in vain is not just saying His name in an angry, cursing way. It is also doing something contrary to His character, especially those who claim the name of Christ.

If we call ourselves a Christian, we must know the nature and character of God so we can uphold His Name in a worthy manner. That’s true worship!

In this stanza, David is pointing out the holiness of God. It is possible for God to judge those who oppose Him with correct judgment and consequence and yet be good to all because He is holy.

In one of the more powerful moments of his teaching, Eric challenged us consider what it would look like for God to be all-knowing, all-present, and all-powerful but not holy. That would be more like a tyrant, and not the God we serve.

Even if we don’t understand why He isn’t doing what we want or what we think would be best. Because He is holy, we can and must trust God’s actions are pure and right and good.

Learning how to trust God is how we started this conversation. And it will continue as we learn God can be trusted to come through.

Verses 23-24

As we go back to beginning thoughts, we note how this time David is asking God to search him and know him.

In verses 23-24, David knows there is not only evil around him, but also evil that lurks in his own heart. So, he asks God to keep continuing His work to expose the grievous sin he still struggles with.

David’s grievous sins are general wickedness and specifically idolatry -which is putting anything in the place God should hold in our hearts. This is why he is a man after God’s own heart. When confronted with sin, David sees it the same way God does and he wants to be rid of it.

He is not afraid of the trials that God will bring to accomplish this. Why? This is the way to the good life, the way everlasting, which shines more and more to the perfect day.

This is how The Message puts it:

In Closing

As I reflect on those hard days of losses due to miscarriage, I remember my struggle with God. I was angry and hurt.

I didn’t know God or even myself like I do now. And yet He was patient with me and used those times of grieving to teach me about Himself and even prepare me for future pain.

At the time, I was fearful of what I may find – that knowing God more would prove disappointing.

My younger self could not have been more wrong. The more I know of God, the greater He gets. He has always been great. But my ability to see Him as He is changes as I grow. Now I see Him not only as great but also as good. Making that shift in my heart and mind is significant. He is great. And He is also good.

He knows me and loves me enough not to leave me in a place any less than what is perfect.

Even though I don’t enjoy the suffering that is necessary to accomplish the growth, I am learning His kindness is greater than the suffering endured, even on this side of heaven. And remembering this helps me to ask God to search me and try me and remove any grievous thing in me that would keep me from knowing Him and being known by Him on the most intimate level.

Living this way now is just a taste of what is to come which guides me on the road to eternal life.

The post Why Our View of God Matters appeared first on julie fillinger .

When Fear Still Creeps In

Tue, 06 Jan 2026 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Click the play button below

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

That’s When Courage is Needed

Last week Eric and I made our big announcement about wanting to take Courage for the Journey on a LIVE tour. That sounds like we’re a rock band when really, we’re just two people who said yes to however God wants to use us. There is a little bit of fear creeping in as I make that statement. But even as I say these words I’m thinking, yeah – that’s when courage is needed.

We’re Talking About Courage to Live

When we were praying about starting the podcast, I was afraid to do it – that even if I did know what to say, would anyone want to hear it? And it brought me back to something Chris Fabry said to me.

Chris Fabry is an author and radio host who a mutual friend asked to endorse my book. When I started to realize he was a big deal , I became a little embarrassed that I hadn’t figured it out sooner. But he just took it all in stride and continued to encourage me on my own journey.

The book contract with my publisher included an audiobook, but I didn’t want to do it. I didn’t like my voice, I didn’t know how to do it, and it felt very overwhelming.

When I emailed Mr. Fabry to ask for his advice, he said,

“We’re talking about Courage to Live, right? It’s almost as if you have to record your own audiobook.”

Then he proceeded to tell me to get in touch with my local radio station and see if they did this sort of thing. Well, they do. JR here at WKUL makes it so easy for me.

Courage is Not a One Time Thing

And now Eric and I are about to embark on this new Journey and some of the same fears are creeping in.

Will people like it?
Will it make a difference?
Does God really want us to do this and will He come through?

I know the right answer is if He is in this, He will prepare the way. And I don’t want to do it if He is not preparing the way. I guess I just want to see the way ahead of time. And God seems to want me to take each step by faith.

So, once again – faith and courage are needed to proceed. It seems like we circle back to those themes over and over. Like they are not a one-time thing. We must keep at it. Bravely moving forward, believing God wants to use us, and if so, then He will work it out. And I have to preach to myself a little sermon that every detail does not have to be figured out ahead of time.

This Little Light of Mine

All of this contemplation and praying and seeking the Lord remind me of Elijah and his willingness to be used by God. I was finishing my study on the Holy Spirit with my ladies’ bible study, and we were all jazzed up and excited about how to use our gifts for God’s Glory to advance His Kingdom. So, I wanted to encourage us to not let satan blow out our candle.

Did you sing that song growing up?

This little light of mine. I’m going to let it shine. This little light of mine. I’m going to let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine. Let it shine.
Hide it under a bushel? NO! It became a contest about who could scream NO! the loudest.

Then we get to the verse that says, “don’t let satan blow it out” …and that verse seemed more mysterious. I am not going to hide my light under a bushel, but could satan really blow it out?

We talked about this recently in my Sunday School class. If I am a true child of God, the light of the Holy Spirit cannot be completely extinguished. His presence is the guaranteed seal of my redemption until Jesus returns.
But I can quench the Holy Spirit or even just grieve Him to the point He becomes less relevant. And that’s what I don’t want to do. I don’t want to give the Holy Spirit a reason to be filled with sorrow because of my disobedience.

Elijah the Prophet

When we took a look at Elijah from 1 Kings 17-19 , we saw he was brave and fierce one day and then the next he felt very scared and alone. And that resonated. We agreed that we are all like that – brave one day and scared the next. Having courage is not a one-time thing. Even prophets of God who experience high highs can quickly be brought low with fear.
Let me summarize the story for you.

The Drought and The Widow

Elijah predicted a drought. God was judging Israel because of their gross idolatry -cult prostitution in the temple and sacrificing children. It was horrific.
During the drought God provided for Elijah by sending him to the brook Cherith. Ravens brought him bread and meat, and he drank from the brook, like this was his own private watering hole that God provided just for him.

Only the famine was so severe, the brook dried up. So, God told him to go to Zarephath and where a widow would feed him.

Elijah goes and when he sees this widow he asks her to bring him a morsel of bread in her hand.

She tells him, “As your God lives, I have a little flour and oil and I am gathering some sticks to go and prepare the last supper for my son and myself and then we are going to die.”

Yikes! Elijah has the nerve to ask her to prepare a meal for him first with the very last bit of food she had. I may have given a prophet of God my last supper, but I am not sure I would give him my son’s last supper.

Do you know what I am saying? It’s one thing if God asks me to sacrifice something but it is a whole nother thing to ask me to sacrifice my child for someone else, even if he is a prophet.

But Elijah tells her, do not fear because the flour and oil are going to renew themselves every day until the drought ends. She just had to be willing to have faith and follow it up with obedience.

We have so much. I don’t know if I can identify with the kind of faith that is required to live with just enough for each day and no more.

On further reflection, however, that is what God asks of me. It may not be my physical sustenance, but spiritually He asks me to get up each day, trusting He will come through.

And He wants me to repeat this over and over each day because each day has enough cares of its own.

She must have believed Elijah because she does what he asks. Actually, God had already prepared her ahead of time and told her to feed Eljah when he came.
The little faith over fear she is exhibiting is ultimately because she is just beginning to trust God will come through and she shows it with her actions.
When we have the courage to step out in faith, then God will reveal more of Himself. And isn’t that what we really want? More of God!

Death, Resurrection, and Eternal Life

But sometimes there are more trials to endure first. Just a short time later, the son of this widow gets sick and dies. It was sudden and shocking. They are making through one trial, living each day by trusting God. And then the absolute worst happens out of nowhere. And she thinks it is because God is holding her past sin against her.

How many times do we think a bad thing is happening because God has not forgiven our sin? Or we think we deserve for the bad thing to happen. It’s our own fault it’s happening because of our past.

Even Elijah is shaken. He cries out to God asking why He brought calamity on the widow who is has been so good to one of His prophets.

Then with faith and courage he takes the boy and stretches him out 3 times as he cries, “O LORD my God, let this child’s life come in to him again.”

And after the third time of crying out, the LORD revived the child. And Elijah turned to the widow and said, “see, your son lives.” And the woman said, “Now I know that you are a man of God, and that the word of the LORD in your mouth is Truth.”

If the story had ended with the endless supply of food, the widow and her son would not have really KNOWN God. So, what would it benefit her to gain physical sustenance but be spiritually lost forever?
This is a picture of God’s plan for eternal life. If we hang on to what the world offers here and now, we miss out on what God is giving us that is far greater.

The Showdown at Mount Carmel

Elijah’s story is not over. In the third year of the drought, God tells Elijah to show himself to king Ahab because He is about to send rain.
Let’s just say everyone knows Elijah and Ahab are not friends. Ahab has tried unsuccessfully to kill Elijah numerous times because Elijah has spoken out against his evil idolatry. And how he has turned the nation of Israel against God.

So, when Elijah asks the prophet Obadiah to set up the meeting, Obadiah asks for some assurance that he is going to stay put until they get back.
When Ahab saw Elijah, he says, “Is that you, you troubler of Israel?”
Elijah responds by telling him he and his father’s house are the ones who have troubled Israel by abandoning the commandments of the LORD and following the Baals.

He then told Ahab to gather the 450 prophets of Baal and 400 prophets of Asherah, who eat at Jezebel’s table. (Jezebel is Ahab’s wife and she is even more wicked than he is.) All of the people of Israel and all of the false prophets gather at Mount Carmel for a showdown.

Elijah addresses the people, “how long will you go limping between two different opinions? If the LORD is God, follow Him; but if Baal, then follow him.
He is setting before them the choice of life or death.

The plan is to lay a sacrifice on altars they each build but put no fire on them. The God who answers by fire is the One True God. I think these false prophets really believed Baal was a god. He was their god of rain and vegetation – which is why God judged them with a drought.

You would think that would give them reservation since it had not rained for 3 years. And you know they had been praying to Baal for rain. And now he is supposed to send fire?

But they agreed to do this and went to great lengths to try and prove Baal’s deity. They cried out to Baal for hours and cut themselves with swords until blood rushed out. But no one answered or even paid attention because Baal wasn’t real.

Elijah is mocking them all the while saying “maybe he is on a journey, perhaps he is sleeping or relieving himself.”

And then it was Elijah’s turn. He very confidently tells the people to come near. They are about to witness the power of God Almighty do what no other god could.

Elijah takes 12 stones according to the tribes of Israel to build an altar. He prepares the sacrifice and lays it on the altar and builds a trench around it. Then he tells them to saturate the altar with water three times so that the water runs down all around it and even the trench fills with water.

Then when it’s time, he prays this prayer,

Then, acting as God’s judge, Elijah orders the people to bring the false prophets to the brook to be killed. Elijah turns to Ahab and tells him he better get going or else his chariot is going to get stuck in the rushing rain that’s coming.
Elijah goes up to the top of Mount Carmel to pray. He sends his servant to look for the coming rain seven times and finally he sees a little cloud like a man’s hand rising from the sea. And in a little while the heavens grew black with clouds and wind, and there was finally, after 3 years of drought, a great rain.
The end of James 5 gives more context to this story. God did what Elijah asked when he prayed according to God’s will. The hand of the LORD was on Elijah, as it had been the whole time. When he came down from the mountain, he outran Ahab’s chariot and beats him back to the city.

This is an incredible work of God using His prophet to do something miraculous to turn His people’s hearts back to Him.

But not everyone’s heart turned to God. Some refused to believe what was right in front of them. When God presented them with a choice between life and death, they hardened their heart against what He was offering.

He Runs in Fear

When Ahab comes home to his palace, he tells his wife Jezebel all that happened. And that Elijah killed all of their (false) prophets with the sword. Jezebel became so enraged, she sent a messenger to Elijah telling him he would be dead by that time tomorrow. Do you think Elijah is going to be afraid of her after he was just a part of this miraculous work of God?

At first reading what happens next seems so incredible to me.

When Elijah receives the message from the wicked Jezebel, he believes her. He believes her. He believes she will succeed in killing him and he becomes afraid. He fears for his life. He has just seen God Almighty rain fire down on the altar, consume the sacrifice, and lick up every bit of moisture. He was the epitome of confidence for God, trusting and obeying Him.

Then one word from his enemy and he runs for his life in fear.

Don’t get me wrong, Jezebel is scary and should be taken seriously. She is way more evil than Ahab. And that is saying a lot. She killed every true prophet in the land of Israel except the 100 Obadiah hid from her in a cave.

So, I understand why Elijah would take her seriously. Evil people do bad things and innocent people suffer and even die. But Elijah doesn’t even stop to seek God. He just runs in fear.

As I contemplate this, the Holy Spirit pricks my heart as if to say, “aren’t you the same way?” One day I can feel really good about my relationship with the Lord, enjoying the pleasure of that high.

But sometimes, when the enemy comes, intent on robbing me of my joy, I fear him more than God. I may not say that or even realize that’s what’s happening. Maybe I am overtired or sick or not prayed up.

But my actions speak louder than words when I give into the fear that something could harm me outside of God’s control.

Forces of evil have victory when we believe them over God.

Why are lies so much more appealing than the Truth? They can be so deceptive, especially when they are sandwiched between two slices of truth bread – two shreds of truth with a little slick lie stuck in between. The lie sounds true because it masquerades as true light.

We have to stop and seek God every time, so we don’t believe lies. Seek God and search out the truth.

At this point, poor Elijah is so discouraged. He runs and hides and asks God to just take his life. That may seem extreme, but he’s been at this for a while. He’s tired and not just a little discouraged.

So, God sends an angel with cakes and water to sustain him for the journey that awaits. He goes in the strength of the food from the angel of the LORD for 40 days while he lodges in a cave at Horeb.

There the LORD meets with him.

The Sovereign LORD Yahweh already knows what Elijah is doing, but He comes in a low whisper and asks a second time anyway to give Elijah an opportunity to work out his fears before Him.

Elijah Passes the Mantle

I am learning that God is great, but He is also good. He is all powerful and also lovingkindness itself. The LORD instructs Elijah to be on his way because He has already prepared his successor. It won’t be much longer before God brings him home.

Elisha will be anointed prophet in his place, and the LORD will leave a remnant of 7,000 in Israel who have not bowed to Baal.

That may not seem like a lot when compared to all of Israel. But right now, Elijah feels like he is the only one and God tells him there are 7,000 others.
He leaves and finds Elisha. And after a short time, he passes the mantle onto him. Shortly after, Elijah is taken up to heaven in a chariot of fire where he will receive his reward for being a faithful servant.

Even faithful servants get discouraged. Elijah was faced with a formidable enemy and feared for his life. He was so discouraged; he wanted to die.

But God wasn’t finished with him yet. And He encouraged and strengthened him until His work was complete.

In Closing

How does this story encourage you to cultivate habits in your life so that you are ready to courageously respond to God’s call by faith?

Ephesians 3:20-21 says,

I will be reflecting in the coming weeks on how that is going as we step out in faith and together, for God’s Glory, lead this series on Courage for the Journey .

The post When Fear Still Creeps In appeared first on julie fillinger .

Courage for the Journey LIVE!

Tue, 30 Dec 2025 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

A Big Announcement is Coming

Welcome back!

All month we have been talking about Christmas Courage. And people have been opening up about their struggles. Which is so powerful in helping others not feel alone. That’s what happens when we are willing to share our stories.

And today we have a big announcement, but you will need to stay until the end to hear it.

Please Welcome the Best of the Best

I am so excited because I have the best of the best with me – my hubby Eric Brock Fillinger. Thanks for coming in, Babe. In starting this podcast, my hope has been that telling my story would encourage others in theirs. And you are a large part of my story.

We have been through everything together since we were 19 and 20 years old. That was my freshmen year and your sophomore year of college.

For those of you who don’t know -Eric and I met the 2 ^nd quarter of college calculus. He has always been a smarty pants and since he passed his high school AP exam, he didn’t have to take the 1 ^st quarter. A mutual friend I had dated a few times introduced us and you made it your mission to make me laugh out loud in class.

Calculus came easier for you. But I had to actually pay attention.

Since that time, all throughout our lives, our stories have been similar due to shared experiences, but there are differences. For example, the way we process grief has been different.

Podcast Interview

When Nicholas died, I was in between jobs and was able to stay home and lay on the couch, but you bravely went right back to work immediately. You’re self-employed. So that means if you don’t work, you don’t get paid. And one of us needed to work to pay the bills.

1. Can you describe that time? You let me stay home and grieve but it forced you to push down your grief so you could function at work.

2. Looking back, what has made a difference in how you have healed from this horrific loss?

We have been on this journey together. We chose early on not to blame one another. What could have killed our marriage, God used to make us stronger.

We have been home alone together as empty nesters a number of years now. We have always loved each other, but I am so thankful we still like each other.
Even though we made it a point to spend time together all along, I was afraid when the boys were gone, we wouldn’t still like each other, maybe we wouldn’t find things we both enjoyed.

A couple of weeks ago I told the listeners Robin would help me hide your body if needed, but you really are my favorite person to be with.

3. Maybe the listeners would like to hear the hiking story.

God gave us 4 beautiful children we don’t deserve, two of which we have to wait until we get to heaven to meet. But the two God did allow us to parent are way more incredible than us. We did nothing to deserve this blessing.

4. Why do we sometimes forget how blessed we are?

Like all proud parents, we love to talk about them and their accomplishments. Drew has been on a Broadway tour and is looking to bust out on Broadway in New York. Nicholas had realistic goals of going to the Olympics. In different ways, each of our boys got the best of us and then some.

A few years after Nicholas died, you, me, and Drew had peace about starting a foundation in Nicholas’ memory.

5. Can you tell our listeners about the Foundation.

When we started The Nicholas Fillinger Foundation, we wanted to use it as a tool to share Nicholas’ story as a means to advance God’s Kingdom. But we discovered we can only tell our own story – the one God gave each of us to share.

6. What has been one of the biggest struggles in telling Nicholas’ story?

7. Today we are making an announcement! Please share the big reveal of what we have been praying about and working on for years.

8. Will you tell everyone about our first stop on the Courage for the Journey LIVE! Tour?

The first stop is our own local church family. Starting January 7, 2026, we will co-lead the 6-week series at Cullman First Baptist Church on Wednesdays at 6:00 pm. We will use feedback from those in the class to improve the curriculum and our delivery. Then we plan to reach out locally to churches in which we have contacts to gauge their interest and availability. From there, we hope to spread our reach as God leads and provides. Whether across the state, nation, or world, we are ready to go wherever God sends us with His Message.

Co-leading this series should prove very interesting. We are hoping to use each of our strengths for maximum impact.

The following Tuesday after the first class in the series, I will begin sharing my reflections starting with the January 13 ^th episode of this podcast. And I really want to hear back from our listeners so we can improve on the curriculum.

I am going to update the speaking page on my website to include Courage for the Journey Live.

You can reach out to me using the form on the speaking page or just email me at juliefillinger.com@gmail.com .

In Closing

Thanks for joining me today, Babe. I know it can make you uncomfortable to be vulnerable, but your willingness to share your story is really powerful and together, Lord willing, we have an opportunity to encourage others in 2026!

The post Courage for the Journey LIVE! appeared first on julie fillinger .

Christmas Courage: Finding Peace in What is Certain

Tue, 23 Dec 2025 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Finding Peace in What IS Certain

Welcome Back to Christmas Courage. I look around and see people trying to get into the Christmas Spirit, but honestly this is not the most wonderful time of the year for everyone. Those suffering heartache can’t muster the strength to put on a brave front. I have been there and so have many of you.

We have been talking about this all month. And I have seen and heard more people opening up about their struggles. Which is so powerful in helping others not feel alone.

If you have been following along, you know I have been interviewing guests that wrote blogs in the series we published this past Summer called Sunlit Stories . And as it turns out, these guest authors shared some vulnerable moments that have real application for encouraging us at Christmas.

Today we are looking into finding peace in what is certain.

Welcome Dr Joe

Dr Joe Johnson is in the studio today. Welcome Joe! Eric and I met Joe and his wife Kim when we attended Northbrook together. And also, we were all in the Cullman Christian Physicians and Spouses Group that used to meet. Annnd a little fun fact – Joe and Elvis share a birthday…and a costume.

Joe, I had a great dad growing up. He was a #girldad before it was cool. He taught me how to play basketball, change a tire, and shoot a gun. He dared anyone to act like one of his four girls should have been a boy. I’m #4 and I didn’t realize some dads preferred boys until I went to college.

So, I love it that you’re a great #girldad too! Our children are of similar ages. Natalie is a little older than mine. So, I don’t know her as well, but she seems like a good mixture of Kim and you. She looks like Kim but loves baseball. (pause)

But your other two girls participated in some of the same activities as my boys.

Caroline and Nicholas did math team together.
Caroline and Drew went on choir tour.
Mallory and Drew were both in Cullman High School Theatre.
Then Caroline married Drew’s RA from Samford University. And God blessed them with another girl in your life -your granddaughter Pheobe.

Did Kim and you meet at Samford also? Sam, not Stan. Samford in Birmingham, AL not Stanford in Cali.

Podcast Interview

Alright, let’s get into the blogs that posted this summer. On 06/024/25 Navigating Anxiety in the What If’s of Life and on 08/05/25 Finding Peace in What is Certain .

How would you describe the “What If” mindset?
Why is not knowing all of the hidden things in God’s will for our lives a blessing?
Will you describe your personal experience in struggling with “What Ifs”?
How did you learn to deal with anxiety God’s way?
What impact did it have on your worship?
What are some Biblical insights that helped you find peace in what IS certain?
Will you describe the reverse order of our norm as it relates to planning for possible “What Ifs”?
What are some practical steps that help us embrace what IS certain?

We are getting ready to wrap this up.

I have been closing out these interviews by tying in your story with having Christmas Courage.
So, how does remembering that real peace is available impact us, especially if we are struggling at Christmas?

Closing

Thank you for coming in and spreading Christmas Courage. Sharing our stories is important. It helps others not feel so alone and gives them real courage for their journey.

The post Christmas Courage: Finding Peace in What is Certain appeared first on julie fillinger .

Christmas Courage: Leaving a Legacy of Prayer and Blessing

Tue, 16 Dec 2025 10:45:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Leaving a Legacy of Prayer and Blessing

Welcome Back to Christmas Courage. I look around and see people trying to get into the Christmas Spirit, but honestly this is not the most wonderful time of the year for everyone. Those suffering heartache can’t muster the strength to put on a brave front. I have been there and so have many of you.

So, this month, every Tuesday before Christmas, I have been sharing with you some Christmas Courage. But I am not doing it alone. I have been interviewing guests that wrote blogs in the series we published this past Summer called Sunlit Stories . It was a big hit! And as it turns out, these guest authors shared some vulnerable moments that have real application for encouraging us at Christmas.

Introducing my Big Sister

Today, I am so excited that my big sister is with me! Please welcome Robin Cook! Robin, even though I stole your pennies as a child, you have been through everything with me and me with you – all of the highs and all of the lows. The boys called you the good sister, Aunt Robin.

Remember when you had to break the news to the boys you were getting married? Drew screamed, “Noooooo” (as he pounded the floor!) “I knew that Wayne was going to take you away from us.” Sydney McWaters had to talk him into being in the wedding.

So, wouldn’t you say we have each other’s backs? Whether playing Euchre or talking sports, those girls from up North will lay it on you.

Do you remember when I asked in our mom and sisters group text who would help me bury a body where no one will ever find it? Everyone was on board until Toni asked whose body. Then when I said Eric’s, she and Tara were like, we’re not so comfortable with burying Eric’s body.

But you stuck with me. You said, “I’ll help you bury the body.” And I would do the same for you. Thankfully, Eric and Wayne are still with us.

And now look at you -teaching Senior English at Cullman High School and Fellow of Jewish Studies:

Belfer Fellow
Jewish Foundation for the Righteous Fellow
Alabama Holocaust Education Center Steinmetz Teacher Fellow
Auschwitz-Birkenau Memorial Foundation Fellow

Is that the one taking you to Poland this Summer?

And your most important jobs of being wife to Wayne and mother to Carter.

Podcast Interview

Your journey to motherhood wasn’t easy. You talk about it in your blogs that posted on June 17 ^th and July 22nd.

Leaving a Legacy of Prayer and Leaving a Legacy of Blessing with Words .

Talk about the legacy of prayer mom is leaving us.
Why do you sometimes feel like you don’t live up to mom’s legacy?
What have you learned about patiently leaning on the Lord?

We have already said your journey to motherhood wasn’t easy. Leaving a Legacy of Prayer is still by far my most viewed blog this year. I think it’s because so many people were on this journey with you and wanted to read about it.

Will you tell us about the heartaches and the emotional toll of accepting God’s no, but then God saying yes!
How has this journey impacted your prayer life?
What would you say to those who may be struggling to wait on God this Christmas?
How do you use your words to bless others?

You mention our words can hurt. (And now I am rethinking my comments about burying bodies…but it’s good for all of the brothers-in-law to know, the Bowling Sisters have each other’s backs.)

How do you seek God’s help to be a blessing?
Why do you think a kind word this time of year would help instill Christmas Courage?

Closing

Thank you for coming in and spreading Christmas Courage. Sharing our stories is important. It helps others not feel so alone and gives them real courage for their journey.

The post Christmas Courage: Leaving a Legacy of Prayer and Blessing appeared first on julie fillinger .

Christmas Courage: Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts

Tue, 09 Dec 2025 11:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts

Welcome Back to Christmas Courage. I look around and see people trying to get into the Christmas Spirit, but honestly this is not the most wonderful time of the year for everyone. Those suffering heartache can’t muster the strength to put on a brave front. I have been there and so have many of you.

So, this month, every Tuesday before Christmas, I want to share with you some Christmas Courage. But I am not going to do it alone. I am going to be interviewing guests that wrote blogs in the series we published this past Summer called Sunlit Stories .

It was a big hit! And as it turns out, these guest authors shared some vulnerable moments that have real application for encouraging us at Christmas. Today we will be talking about Overcoming intrusive Thoughts.

My Little Sister

And I have my little Sister in Christ with me here in the studio! Please welcome Katie McGee!

When Katie was just out of high school, she was looking for a spiritual mentor and somehow ended up with me. I didn’t know what I was doing, but she came out to my house and just got right into it. She was so inquisitive about God and His Word. I had to limit her to five questions a week, so I had time to look up the answers.

Now, she is the mom of 3 beautiful children, teaching English at Wallace State’s Oneonta campus, singing lead for her cover band – The Overtones , and helping lead worship at our church! We also started a girl band, Altar Song , that sings at our women’s ministry events.

Podcast Interview

Katie wrote a blog that posted on my website and went out to my subscribers on July 1 ^st , Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts . After this blog posted, when I was out and about, a couple of different people told me how helpful sharing her story was to them.

Below is a list of the interview questions from today’s podcast. I hope you will be enriched as you listen and read along.

Would you be willing to recount a vivid memory you have about an intrusive thought?
How has your struggle continued?
How can we better understand intrusive thinking?
What do you think is the impact of technology on anxiety?
Why is the Sunday School answer – faith in Jesus Christ – the correct answer?
How can intrusive thoughts be a blessing?
Why is saying, “just have faith in God” easier said than done?
How do you find peace through your faith?
What would you say to someone whose intrusive thoughts threaten to rob their Christmas joy?

In Closing

I want to thank Katie for coming in. I know the listeners are more encouraged this Christmas because of her willingness to share her story. When we are willing to share our stories, it helps others feel like they are not alone. And it gives them real courage for their journey.

The post Christmas Courage: Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts appeared first on julie fillinger .

Christmas Courage: Finding Beauty in the Ordinary

Tue, 02 Dec 2025 11:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Finding Beauty in the Ordinary

Today is December 2 ^nd . I look around and see people trying to get into the Christmas Spirit, but honestly this is not the most wonderful time of the year for everyone.

Those suffering heartache can’t muster the strength to put on a brave front. I have been there and so have many of you.

So, this month, every Tuesday before Christmas, I want to share with you some Christmas Courage.

But I am not going to do it alone. I am going to be interviewing guests that wrote blogs in the series we published this past Summer called Sunlit Stories .

As it turns out, these guest authors shared some vulnerable moments that have real application for encouraging us at Christmas. The first of which is finding beauty in the ordinary.

My First Friend in Alabama

Today you are in for a real treat. Please welcome Denise Burroughs!
Denise was the first friend I made when I moved to Alabama. It was a big change for me to move from the Midwest, but she and I were kindred spirits right from the start.

Eric and I came to Jeff’s Sunday School class, and we quickly realized we had similar views on life. For the inquiring minds out there, Eric and my boys, Nicholas and Drew, are in between Jeff and Denise’s son Jesse and their daughters Libby and Kacy.

Even though Drew now lives in New York City pursuing his dream of Broadway, he hasn’t forgotten his Cullman, AL roots. Just this past week, he and Libby met for dinner while she was visiting. So sweet.

Mrs. Burroughs teaches AP English at Cullman High School and was one of Drew’s all-time favorite teachers. That’s one of the things that I find fascinating about her – how she can passionately and clearly explain literature so it’s easy for people like me to understand and get excited about.

Podcast Interview

Denise wrote a blog that was posted on my website and went out to my subscribers on July 8 ^th , Finding Beauty in the Ordinary .

Below is a list of the interview questions from today’s podcast. I hope you will be enriched as you listen and read along.

First, tell us about your extraordinary trip to Iceland.
When you returned, how did sweet home Alabama fail to compare?
Why do you think we take our ordinary life for granted?
Why do you think people get frustrated with how they are supposed to respond as a “good” Christian?
You note that even heroes of the faith were ordinary people that failed and experienced pain along with triumph and happiness. How does this encourage you on your journey?
How does looking at your familiar surroundings with fresh eyes help you?
How did reflecting on God’s control of creation change your perspective?
You said John Milton is your favorite author. How did his poem “On His Blindness” help you stand and wait ?
Why do you think finding beauty in the ordinary can help people who may be struggling at Christmas?

In Closing

I want to thank Denise for coming in. I know the listeners are more encouraged this Christmas because of her willingness to share her story. When we are willing to share our stories, it helps others feel like they are not alone. And it gives them real courage for their journey.

The post Christmas Courage: Finding Beauty in the Ordinary appeared first on julie fillinger .

Christmas Courage When It’s Not The Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Fri, 28 Nov 2025 11:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Is it the most wonderful time of the year?

Several years ago, I walked into a department store and saw a plaque that proudly proclaimed, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year!”
While that is true for many, it’s not so true for those who are suffering or grieving a loss.

I look around and see people trying to get into the Christmas Spirit, but those suffering heartache can’t muster the strength to put on a brave front. I have been there and so have many of you.

So, this month, every Tuesday before Christmas, I want to share with you some Christmas Courage.

But I am not going to do it alone. I am going to be interviewing guests that wrote blogs in the series we published this past Summer called Sunlit Stories .
As it turns out, these guest authors shared some vulnerable moments that have real application for encouraging us at Christmas. I hope you will join us!

Holidays can still be meaningful

In the meantime, I want to remind you of how the holidays can still be meaningful.

This time of year begins an onslaught of reminders of how I once gleefully celebrated in ignorant bliss the joys of the season with those I loved.

But with one of those loved ones missing, the holidays will never be the same.
The reminders can be brutal -all of the picture-perfect social media posts, the empty seat at festive gatherings, and one less person to buy gifts for.

We were miserable the first Christmas after Nicholas died. We still wanted to make things as good as possible for Drew, but he was miserable too. Looking back, two things stand out that were most helpful.

I read a book every morning that directed my focus
We used the money we would have spent on Nicholas to give to an orphanage that rescued boys.

It may not ever be the same, but that doesn’t mean it can’t still be meaningful. The first year was the hardest, but since then, we have been able to build on what we do to make the holidays not only bearable but also significantly relevant and worthwhile.

Plan Ahead

I have to plan ahead to focus my celebration of Christmas.
My Lord was willing to humble Himself to dwell among us. He left heaven to pay the penalty for my sin so that I could be reconciled to a Holy God. His virgin birth, sinless life, death, and resurrection make a way for me to be reunited with my loved one for all eternity.

Daily or weekly readings

An Advent reading and then lighting a candle every Sunday, the four Sundays leading up to Christmas, is a good way to focus my thoughts and engage my family during the Christmas season.

There are books with a daily reading that have helped direct me to stay engaged in my pursuit to celebrate my Lord’s birth. I choose one to have ready December 1st. There are many to choose from, just do a little research ahead of time.

Or pick from one of my favorites:

The Greatest Gift by Ann Voskamp
The Names of Jesus by Asheritah Ciuciu
The Dawning of Indestructible Joy by John Piper
Pursuing the Christ by Jennifer Kennedy Dean

Putting up the tree

This is a hard one. My sister came over to put Nicholas’ ornaments on the tree the first year. We probably would not have put up a tree, but we were trying to make things as normal as possible for Drew.

Now that Drew is grown and living out of state, we plan to put up the tree Thanksgiving weekend and save some ornaments for Drew when he comes at Christmas. It can still be solemn, but we reminisce while listening to Christmas music and plan to watch a Christmas movie together afterward. It’s hard, but I am always glad we did it when it is finished.

Gifts

We use the money we would have spent on Nicholas, my dad aka Granddaddy, and Eric’s dad aka Pops to buy meaningful gifts in their memory. We put the notification cards in their stockings we hang in their memory and then read them after Christmas dinner.

Even though I do splurge a little on stocking stuffers, we try to keep gift buying for each other simple and have adopted the following as a guide:

something you wear
something you read
something you want
something you need

Sponsor a family

Our Sunday School class sponsors a family every year and buys gifts, a meal, a washer and dryer, or whatever is needed, etc. It’s nice to do this with a group so the entire burden is not on you. If you cannot participate with a group or one is not readily available, there are multiple toy drives in which you could participate.

Holiday Music

Music penetrates my soul when I am at a loss for words. I play music throughout November and December that speaks Truth about who God is because it is so easy to believe lies.

Keep Christmas Day manageable.

I plan the menu ahead of time. There are usually 7 or 8 of us at dinner, but we keep it simple. Eric enjoys smoking a ham and a turkey, which is helpful and delicious. Then I ask others to help with sides and dessert. So, we are each only responsible for one or two things. And everyone helps with clean-up.

Those at my house are old enough to do this. If you have littles, you may want to make a bigger deal of breakfast and then keep the rest of the day super easy. When our children were little, they only cared about the ham, rolls, and sparkling grape juice for Christmas dinner.

Decide when and how you want to do a short Christmas reading. We used Adornaments from Family Life when the boys were little and will still do one of the readings and hang a special ornament on the tree at dinner.

We do a sing along to Christmas hymns after dinner. My favorite is O Come, O Come Emmanuel and I try to get everyone to sing all of the verses.

Be aware of the New Year

Just when I think I have made it through all of the hard stuff, the New Year rings in with a slap in the face to remind me of yet another year in which Nicholas will never be a part. I think people are lifting me up in prayer up until that point. Then when they stop, I crash. So, I am mindful to ask my prayer warriors to keep going through the New Year.

Now it is your turn

I hope you find this post helpful. Some of you are really struggling and the idea of doing all of this is overwhelming. If you can just pick one thing, I would say pick the music. Keep music on all of the time to help focus your thoughts and worship.

The post Christmas Courage When It’s Not The Most Wonderful Time of the Year appeared first on julie fillinger .

Unraveling the Mystery of Spiritual Gifts

Tue, 25 Nov 2025 11:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Did I Receive the Wrong Spiritual Gift

Today as we continue this series on the role of the Holy Spirit, I want to start to unravel the mystery that seems to be present with spiritual gifts.

Does it seem hard to figure out your spiritual gift? Why is that? And then when you think you may have an idea of what gift you got, do you find yourself wishing you got a different one?

I have sisters that are twins and one year for Christmas my parents gave them the wrong gift.

Have you heard of Fisher Price Little People? We loved them growing up and spent hours playing with them. Every Christmas my sisters and I were able to add to our collection. Over the years I received the village, the hospital, and the castle -complete with a dungeon. As a child, tricking the bad guy to fall into the dungeon was pure genius. My mother kept the whole collection for her grandchildren to play with along with any other children who came over.

But one year, Tara wanted the train and received the camper, and Toni wanted the camper but received the train. When they opened their presents and saw what happened, my mom said they could just trade. But they wouldn’t trade. They kept the one they received.

It seems spiritual gifts are kinda like that. You may have wanted something different, but you don’t have control over what you receive, so you figure you should learn how to use it for God’s Glory.

Gifts Compared to an Orchestra

Imagine an orchestra preparing for a concert. Each musician uses their instrument to contribute to the overall unique and blended sound that results in a beautiful symphony. What happens if one of the musicians isn’t playing their part? That section is noticeably silent. The sound is incomplete.

It’s the same with how God uses spiritual gifts in the church. When each person joyfully uses their gift, the church becomes like that orchestra—unified, harmonious, and effective in its mission.

How Do We Know What Gift We Have?

Have you ever taken a spiritual gift inventory? They are supposed to help guide you to the unique gift or gifts the Holy Spirit gave you to be useful in ministry for the purpose of advancing God’s Kingdom . You may do it hoping to solve this great mystery only to be disappointed when they fail to deliver. I think they are more helpful if we use them as a starting point instead of a substitute for listening and leaning into the how the Holy Spirit wants us to serve.

John MacArthur said we should view the listing of spiritual gifts in the New Testament as general categories , not to identify our gift perfectly as much as faithfully using the unique enablement as God has given each believer. Then -he compared the lists to a palette of basic colors from which God selects to blend a unique hue for each disciple’s life . And this comment just really resonated with what I was growing to understand.

The Hue That is You

My friend Heather helps me with my website. When I say helps me, I mean I couldn’t do it without her. When we first decided on colors, deciding on colors is a whole thing -so she introduced me to colorhexa.com. It’s a tool that gives you a six-digit hex color letter/number combination for every imaginable shade, tint, or tone color variation available. It can eat up hours of your time as you play around with all of the possibilities.

But it is also very useful in helping communicate the exact hue…that is you.

This is what I thought of when MacArthur compared spiritual gifts to a palette of basic colors from which God selects to blend a unique hue for each disciple’s life . Like I might have a little red, a little blue, and a little black that come together to make a beautiful shade of magenta. And you may have varying degrees of blue, yellow, and white that come together to make a striking chartreuse.

The point is -if there were only the 8 basic colors to choose from, the lists would be identical in each of the letters Paul wrote concerning spiritual gifts.

That Brings Us to 1 Corinthians 12.

Paul wrote a letter to a church in Corinth in response to concerns they had regarding spiritual gifts. It seems some of the members were elevating some of the gifts over the others -to the point that if someone didn’t have those gifts, they were made to feel like a second-class Christian.

I know it is hard to believe that people in the church may misuse their gifts for selfish reasons.

It seems the church at Corinth was not the only church that needed extra instruction on this topic. Paul lists out the gifts in this letter to the Corinthians but writes somewhat different lists in his letters to the Romans and Ephesians. If you bring all of the lists together, there are about 18 different gifts to consider.

Gifts for God’s Glory

In response to the Corinthians concerns, Paul says no one who is controlled by the Spirit would ever use their gift to condemn the Name of Jesus by giving an incorrect picture of who He is. Who in the church would ever outwardly condemn the Name of Jesus? Yikes! But that’s what we do when we give in to our me-first attitude that’s controlled by our flesh.

Contrast that with someone who proclaims Jesus is their Lord and shows with their life they are living under the power and influence of His Spirit. Paul goes on to explain that there are a variety of gifts, service, and activities -but the same God who empowers them. Each person is given something to do that shows who God is, and for His Glory to advance His Kingdom.

Defining Spiritual Gifts

It seems this is a good time to define spiritual gifts. You know I like to define words.

The Greek word for gift here is charisma and the plural form is charismata. They have the same root as the Greek word grace, which is charis.

Charisma is an undeserved enablement imparted by the Holy Spirit to be used for ministry in the building up of the church for God’s glory.
Furthermore, charismata are special endowments of supernatural energy to be used to encourage and build up others in the church.

Doesn’t that sound great! Even though their expressed purpose is not for self-edification, there is a sense of excitement and energy when the Holy Spirit empowers you to do something you otherwise couldn’t do. The whole point of spiritual gifts -is that they are given as the evidence of the Spirit working in the life of a believer for the common good of the faith community.

Looking For Opportunities to Serve

I have found the best way to discover your gift is to ask the Holy Spirit to show you as you look for opportunities to serve in areas where needed. As you start serving, when you feel a sense of satisfaction and fulfilment in being used by God in a certain way, -you make note of it. You also make note of when you did something in the church that needed to be done, but maybe it didn’t feel like you were using God’s power to do it.

Let me give you some personal examples.

When Eric and I were still young married , (I’m not sure how long you get classified as young married , but at this point we were young and fairly newly married and didn’t know much…so we were young married) , anyway, we worked with the youth at our church. There were lots of opportunities to serve with the youth. But what I came to realize and took note of was this -what I got a thrill out of was coming alongside the girls and encouraging them with a word of Truth.

At first, we were just hanging out, talking about life in general -mostly school and boys and shoes. But then as we got to know one another, they felt comfortable asking spiritually deeper questions. I didn’t always know the answer, so I would study and get back to them with what I learned. Eventually, I taught their Sunday School class, and everything about the preparation, delivery, and evidence of their growth was exhilarating.

Another example…for a while, Sunday School classes were asked to help put away chairs after church on a rotating basis. I did not really enjoy the act of service itself, but it needed to be done. So, we all pitched in. What I enjoyed was organizing a group of people to accomplish a task and the sense of community as we worked alongside one another.

One more example…After doing inductive Bible study for a number of years, I was asked to teach a ladies bible study. At first, I felt like I didn’t know what I was doing. But I had prayed about this for a while, and when the opportunity presented itself, the Holy Spirit guided me along the way. As He enabled me to proclaim Truth, I could visibly see how He was opening the eyes of those who were listening.

It was incredible to be used as His instrument. I felt His power leading and guiding me. It made me want to get better and better at using my gifts for God’s glory.

I took note of this and still do.

It is also important to note what others say to me when I use my gifts and how the Spirit uses their words to knock me over with nudges of confirmation.

Now I feel pretty comfortable that my palette of blended gifts includes primarily teaching and exhortation, with a hint of mercy and leadership. And God is expanding my reach to include writing and this podcast.

Spiritual Gifts Compared to the Human Body

Should I feel extra special that I have these gifts and not what some may call more basic gifts?

Let’s continue to look at what Paul had to say. Similar to the illustration using the orchestra, Paul uses the analogy of how our human bodies work to show us how the Church should function. Our physical bodies do not consist of one limb or one organ, and the body of Christ, known as the Church, doesn’t either.
If the foot says “because I am not the hand, I do not belong to the body”, does that make it any less part of the body? The same goes with the ear and the eye. If our whole body were an eye, we wouldn’t be able to hear, and if the whole body were an ear, we wouldn’t be able to smell.

God arranged every member in the body of Christ just as He did the human body. We were all cleansed and empowered at the point of our conversion to be united together to function as a whole. The eye cannot say to the hand, I have no need of you; nor the head say to the feet, “I have no need of you.” The more basic the part, the more necessary.

Eugene Peterson says it like this in The Message ,
“you can live without an eye, but not without a stomach. If you had to choose, wouldn’t you prefer good digestion to full-bodied hair?”

I doubt that is what Eugene Peterson sounds like. I can’t wait to hear his voice when I get to heaven and talk bible stuff with him over coffee and muffins. But that made me chuckle a bit. And I had to stop and think about it because there’s plenty to enjoy as I have gotten older, – but I really miss my good hair. What he is saying is -it really has more to do with being unified in purpose. God doesn’t like it when we are divided or fighting about something as silly as who has the more honorable spiritual gift or the best hair.

The Better Way of Love

None of us deserve the gifts we were given. All of us are to use our gifts to care for one another. So, we should stop desiring the more showy gifts and start learning a better way – the way of love . Do you know what comes after 1 Corinthians 12 ? It’s 1 Corinthians 13 …aka the love chapter. Take a look at it on your own.

When Paul was writing the letter, there was not a chapter break. He is saying, if you aren’t using your gifts from a heart motivated by love, then just sit down and be quiet. It profits nothing. Some of these gifts will come to an end but love never will.

What About the Miraculous Gifts

That brings us to a discussion of the sign gifts. What are the sign gifts? Maybe you thought I wasn’t going to get to those. But how can we unravel the mystery if we don’t talk about the controversial ones. On churchgrowth.org , Dr Larry Gilbert calls these the miraculous gifts -and names 5 of them.

The reason I am reflecting more on these 5 out of the possible 18 is because they seem to stir up the most controversy. I am okay with feeling the tension of not having all of the answers. How arrogant would it be of me to say, “I have studied this more than you so I must be right”? My understanding of God’s Word has very little to do with me and everything to do with the Holy Spirit in me -helping me understand spiritual truths. Everything is not going to be resolved this side of heaven, but the Spirit does want to inform us about the things God has revealed.

We are all still growing in the grace and knowledge of God! Let us purpose to learn how to disagree with one another respectfully – in a way that shows the better way of -speaking Truth in love, encouraging unity, and giving room for growth for all.

With that said…

Here are the 5 miraculous gifts.

Apostles
Healings
Miracles
Tongues
Interpretation of Tongues

All of the miraculous gifts were used to verify and confirm God’s divine authority and Truth.

Apostles

Apostles were commissioned by Christ as His special representatives, and Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:1 , they had seen the risen Lord.

Special representatives, who had seen Jesus Christ after He resurrected, and were commissioned by Him to use miraculous signs to authenticate that Jesus was all He claimed to be.

This is the only gift that I think has ceased so far, and primarily because of the part Paul says about apostles had seen the risen Lord.

That brings us to healings and miracles. Healings and miracles may seem similar, but there are distinctions.

Healings

Healings are the ability to be used by God, in His providence, to bring physical, emotional, or spiritual healing.

It feels like a miracle when you are healed in any capacity by the Great Physician.

Miracles

Miracles are when God works supernaturally through you to accomplish things beyond human ability that don’t necessarily include healing.

I don’t know how someone can say healings and miracles have ceased when I see them every day.

And I know for certain God is the only One who could heal me after my son died. And the fact that the healing continues is a miracle.

I used to think oh yeah, the sign gifts have ceased , because this is what I was taught. But in studying it, other than the gift of apostles, I cannot find clear biblical support that the miraculous gifts have currently ceased to exist.

So, we might as well just get on with speaking in tongues.

Tongues

Tongues is speaking in a language not previously learned for the purpose of building up the church.

I have never been to a church where someone was speaking in tongues.
But one time when I was around 20 years old, I attended a church with a friend. And at some point in the service, they asked us to find someone who needed healing and to pray over them. I started to feel really uncomfortable because I thought they were praying in tongues. But then when I calmed down, I realized I could understand what each one was saying and that they were praying quietly for that person’s healing.

The reason I think we do not see tongues in our churches as much today here in the U.S. -is because we have great access to God’s Word and the understanding of it.

When Jesus was preparing His disciples for the day He would go, He said it was better for Him to leave because He would then send His Spirit.

In Acts 2 , that Spirit rained down in fulness at Pentecost and Galilean men spoke in languages that they had not previously learned. It’s described as tongues of fire .

I recorded a previous podcast episode about it called, “The Day the Spirit Rained Down.” Devout men who had come from different parts of the known world could understand what these Galileans were saying -because they were speaking in the native language of the devout men. What they were speaking were known languages, just not known by the Galileans who started to miraculously speak them. They had never learned the foreign language but started speaking it under the power of the Holy Spirit. And those devout men who came from other parts of the world could interpret what they were saying.
They said, “how is it that we hear, each of us, in his own native language?”

Not too long after Pentecost, persecution arose amongst the growing church. As persecution grew, so did the spread of the Gospel throughout the world in all of these languages. Since Pentecost, the Holy Spirit comes to dwell in the believer at the point of conversion to assure us God is at work helping us discern and understand Truth. As the Gospel continues to go out around the world and people are saved and baptized in the Spirit, -tongues will eventually cease. It is not one of the gifts that continues when Christ returns to set up New Heaven New Earth . But we don’t know when that is going to be. Only our Heavenly Father knows.

What I don’t understand is the prayer language Paul writes about in 1 Corinthians 14 , and how it differs from the tongues that began at Pentecost.

What I can say with assurance is that tongues were a sign for unbelievers. And if tongues were spoken in a public assembly, they had to be spoken one at a time, in an orderly manner, and there had to be an interpretation of them.

That brings me to the last miraculous gift.

Interpretation of Tongues

Interpretation of tongues is understanding and explaining messages spoken in tongues for the benefit of others.

Simply put, if there was no one to interpret, then don’t speak in tongues in an open assembly -sit down and keep it to yourself.

In Closing

We need to bring this to an end for now. In closing, I cannot stop emphasizing that these gifts of grace given and empowered by the Holy Spirit, were for the common good of advancing God’s Kingdom. It should be exciting to grow in our understanding of how God wants to use us.

There is a sense of energy and assurance that causes us to say,
“God did this and He lets me come along for the ride!”

The post Unraveling the Mystery of Spiritual Gifts appeared first on julie fillinger .

Loved Beyond Comprehension

Tue, 18 Nov 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://share.transistor.fm/s/d97ba7f0

God’s Incomprehensible Love

Today we are taking a look at how we are loved beyond comprehension. I am absolutely convinced beyond any doubt that NOTHING in all of the universe will come between us and the love God has for us. So, stick with me, because the best part comes near the end.

Last week I shared reflections with you from Romans 8.

In Christ and by His Spirit, we are no less than 8 things

Not condemned
Resurrected
Adopted as Heirs with Christ
Glorified
Saved in Hope
Joined in Prayer
Called with Purpose
Love beyond Comprehension

But Suffering and Glory are Married

Since I spent extra time on being glorified, we only made it through the first five. It felt like everything was going along so positively until then. We moved from being adopted as heirs with our brother Christ to being saved with hope. Then a big but showed up in verse 17.

We share an inheritance with Christ, BUT only if we also suffer with Him. Suffering and Eternal Glory are married and cannot be separated. I don’t like suffering. And I don’t know anyone else who does. It seems Paul’s readers didn’t either.

That’s when he shares that he is expecting them and us to conclude that whatever suffering we are enduring in this present life is not even worth comparing to the glory that is to come.

Because we have the Holy Spirit as a pledge of what will come, we have hope that is sure and certain. So, we wait with joyful expectancy and patient composure for the fulfilment of that which we are hoping – which is our future Glory.

Thy Kingdom Come

My pastor is preaching a series on the book of Luke called Blessed Assurance . You can check it out on Cullman FBC’s YouTube channel. Right now, He is slowing the roll and spending extra time on the Lord’s Prayer. This past Sunday he covered Thy Kingdom Come .

I was fully prepared to exclaim some hardy amens. I’ve got this one. I am all about God’s Kingdom coming. Please come today. I’m ready. There is nothing here better than the New Heaven New Earth that is coming. So, let’s go.
I was not counting on a zinger from the Holy Spirit. Sometimes I get so caught up in focusing on future Glory, I do not pray for the here and now global kingdom.

Let me try to tell you what I mean.

Setting my mind on heaven gives me courage to live now because of the hope of Glory that is to come. This is my main message and the basis of this podcast. For example, there are glimpses of heaven all around me if I have the eyes to see it. I can look no further than the coming of dawn each morning when God breaks through the darkness with His glorious light and invites me to meet with Him.
I ask Him to show me what He has for me that day as His ambassador. I want everyone I come in contact with to hear a message of reconciliation – that God will not hold your sins against you because Christ already paid the debt with His own life as the sacrificial Lamb. Therefore, peace with God is a reality.
So far, so good, right? So where am I failing?

Do I Want Heaven Here?

The realization that smacked me in the face and more than pricked my heart was I don’t really want heaven here. I am thankful to receive glimpses of heaven here as I wait for Christ to return and set up His Kingdom. But I am not interested in making up there, down here . I have not been praying for heaven to come here, unless it includes Jesus Christ on a white horse setting up His Kingdom.

You may be asking, so what’s the problem? Why is this even significant?
The problem when I say, “I want heaven, but not here” is that I am praying for God’s Kingdom to come how I think it should. I either want to be taken there or Christ to return here and we join Him in all His Glory.

I say I want to live as Christ while I am here, but I am not really praying with a global kingdom mindset for what comes in between already, and not yet.
I have talked about this before. Christ has already done everything necessary to secure our future glory, but that glory…is in the future. God is saying it is not yet time.

So, we live in between already and not yet .
Until Sunday, I felt like I was doing a pretty good job of that -living for Christ while I long for His return. Looking forward with hope to future glory has helped set me free from my anger and guilt. I have learned how to live again after a terrible loss.

And I don’t just mean to survive . I mean really live with freedom to laugh and love without the heavy weight of the grief cloud constantly hovering and threatening to unleash its torment at any moment. I am happy to share my story whenever I have the opportunity, hoping to encourage someone who may be hurting. But I am ready to get out of here whenever Jesus says let’s go .

I Made a Pact with God

Since it seems it’s not my time yet, I made a pact of sorts with God.

I will live for You here until I’m 80.
That seems long enough for You to do what You will through me,
and then I want to come Home.

But the Home I imagine is there. Not here.

I’m sure you can see plenty of problems with this little pact and can see why I have not really talked about it much. For one, my people live into their 90’s, so thinking I am going Home at 80 is not probable. More significantly, who am I to be telling my Creator God how long I am willing to live here for Him? What I am thinking but not saying is God should be okay with this arrangement because He is the One who asked me to suffer the loss of a child. And that child is there. But when that thought comes, the Holy Spirit shows me there may still be a little anger that pops up from time to time.

The more recent revelation, however, is -this little pact does not include praying for heaven to be brought here in a way that God wants me to pray. I am not really on fire for the global kingdom. It seems I want to learn how to get better at Gospel conversations, but I don’t want to actually have them.

Why is that? This is really what I have been wrestling with.

I want to learn how to get better at Gospel conversations, but I don’t want to actually have them. Doesn’t that seem so incredibly selfish? I don’t think it’s because it’s too hard or too uncomfortable. I do plenty of things that are hard and uncomfortable. And I am not afraid of confrontation. Furthermore, I am sharing the Truth of God’s Word regularly. How is that different from having a Bonafide Gospel conversation?

My Continued Struggle

I have been wrestling with this for days.

I think I enjoy sharing the good news I find in God’s Word when it comes from my careful study. There seems to be a disconnect when I don’t feel like I am prepared. Or if I think I am going to say something wrong, it comes out like Charlie Brown’s teacher. Wat wat want wat want wat wan. Then I’m left thinking, what did I just say. I hope I didn’t say it wrong.

Just this morning , I read a passage in my daily bible reading that I am asking the Spirit to help me discern.

¹³ This will be your opportunity to bear witness.  ¹⁴ Settle it therefore in your minds not to meditate beforehand how to answer,  ¹⁵ for I will give you a mouth and wisdom, which none of your adversaries will be able to withstand or contradict.  ( Luke 21:13–15 , ESV)

Jesus said this to His disciples in the context of suffering they were going to be asked to endure. And He says He will give them a mouth and wisdom. His Spirit will take the Words of God that they have hidden in their heart, and that they know to be true, and bring them to mind at the moment they need them.
So why do I fear God is going to ask me to have a gospel conversation I’m not prepared for? 

Even as I continue to wrestle with this, I am thanking God for continuing to work on me. He hasn’t given up on me. I take comfort in knowing, if I share the Truth, it is the Holy Spirit who runs with it. He’s the One who makes sense of the Gospel in the heart and mind of the hearer.

That brings me to #6 in the list of who we are in Christ by His Spirit.

Sixth – Joined in Prayer 8:26-27

²⁶ Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.  ²⁷ And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because ^[ ^g ^]  the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. 
Prayer is a trinitarian exercise. Does that sound like a big word? By this I mean the three persons of the Godhead are all involved. God the Father, God the Son, and the sometimes-forgotten God – the Holy Spirit. I don’t completely understand the Trinity. I have heard people refer to an egg and all sorts of other 3 in 1 comparisons, but nothing really explains the perfect unity of purpose that exists within the Godhead.

This I do know: we have access to God our Father through His Son and by His Spirit. It’s the Spirit who has made His home in us to dwell in us. He comes to our aid and bears us up in the ambiguity of this already, not yet existence.
Because we do not always know God’s will or even how to offer a prayer for deliverance in a worthy manner, the Spirit Himself goes and pleads on our behalf. He intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. These are wordless sighs and utterances of yearning . He could put them into words. He is capable of doing so -but chooses not to.

It seems the One who searches hearts already knows the mind of the Spirit and what His intent is. Because the Spirit intercedes and pleads for God’s children according to the will of God, everything we are asked to endure gets worked out into something good that makes us more like Christ until we are made completely like Him in our future glorification.

In the meantime, please join me for the willingness to pray for more of heaven here and now as we share Truth the Holy Spirit will use to increase the global kingdom.

Seventh – Called with Purpose 8:28-30

²⁸ And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, ^[ ^h ^]  for those who are called according to his purpose.  ²⁹ For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.  ³⁰ And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified.

Everyone loves Romans 8:28. Every detail of our lives of love for God is worked into something good. Knowing God has a positive purpose for every negative thing in this life helps us endure it a little longer. However, this verse is connected to those that follow. And we seem to have a harder time with those.
Maybe we would be okay if these verses skipped foreknew and predestined and started with us being called…as in a people called out by name for a purpose. But called comes in the middle of a chain that begins with being foreknown and predestined and ends with being justified and glorified . Foreknown, predestined, called, justified, and glorified are all connected and cannot be separated.

In trying to make this clearer, I can accept there are things we cannot understand as finite and fallen creatures. I am going to try to share this based on what I have studied and know to be true. And I am happy for you to comment respectfully and tell me what you think.

To foreknow simply means to know beforehand, in advance of its happening. God is eternal, He has no beginning. I don’t really understand the eternal nature of God. I can somewhat understand eternity future because I talk about it more and look forward to it, but who understands that God had no beginning?
However, if/ since I (and you) accept His eternality as Truth, of course , we must accept He knew what would happen before it happened. In his commentary on Romans, John Stott says, in the context of the covenant God made with Abraham -to call a people to Himself, being foreknown is equivalent to being foreloved. It is more than intellectual cognition; it includes a personal relationship of care and affection.

That brings us to predestined, which means to decide beforehand.
Maybe our problem is not that God foreknew but rather when did He decide to shape the lives of those whom He foreloved? Asking when something happened assumes a time. God knew before time was created and He also decided before time was created. He was the one who created time -not because He needed it (this goes back to His eternal nature), but so that His creation would have order.

Before answering when , the question we should ask is what.

What did God decide ? He decided He wanted to set apart a people of His own whom He foreknew and foreloved with a sovereign, distinguishing, and divine love. Because Christ decided for us first , that made it possible for us then to freely decide for Him. What glorifies Him is when His people love Him -the people He made a covenant with and called by name – when we, His people, freely choose to love Him, He is most glorified.

When we give thanks that He awakened our faith while we were otherwise helplessly and hopelessly dead, and when we pray for the new birth of others because we want them to be spiritually alive also, then we are acknowledging God is sovereign over salvation. After He gets us in a right standing with Himself, He sticks with us to finish what He started until it is completed.

We are nearing the end of the chapter, so hold on. These last verses will not disappoint.

Eighth – Loved Beyond Comprehension 8:31-39

¹ What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be ^[ ⁱ ^]  against us?  ³² He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things?  ³³ Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies.  ³⁴ Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. ^[ ^j ^]   ³⁵ Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 
³⁶ As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
³⁷ No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.  ³⁸ For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers,  ³⁹ nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

WOW! Don’t you just feel like raising your hands with a holy Hallelujah!

What Paul is saying here at the end is this -since God is on our side, there is no enemy who can successfully oppose us. When we get confused about how God works or what He is doing, we only need to look to the Cross. If God was willing to give up His own Son, there is nothing He would withhold from us that He determines is for our good.

Let’s take it back to the beginning of this conversation that started last week. God declared us not guilty and now no one can ever condemn us. In case you need a reminder, it is Christ Jesus who died to pay the penalty we deserved. Then He conquered death when He was raised to life. Now He is in God’s presence at this very moment, effectively going before our Father on our behalf.

Let’s not ever get over this kind of love.

Sure, while we are still in this sin sick world, there are horrific evils and persecutions that those without God will try to use to separate us. Because they hate Him, they try to pick us off one by one. But not even the worst thing they can come up with will succeed.

Because Christ loves us, we have already won! I am absolutely convinced beyond any doubt that NOTHING in all of the universe will come between us and the love God has for us. Because of the way Jesus, our Messiah and Master, has embraced us, we are champions!

As I soak this in, I never want to get over it. And I don’t want you to either. May the Truth of these Words from God continue to give us Courage for our Journey!

The post Loved Beyond Comprehension appeared first on julie fillinger .

The Spirit Secures Our Liberation

Tue, 11 Nov 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://share.transistor.fm/s/d97ba7f0

Holy Spirit Liberation

Today I am reflecting on Romans 8. It is one of those chapters on which I have no business speaking. Reading it is its own holy liberation, and any comments I make would only cheapen the grace offered on its pages.
I am not alone in thinking this beautiful chapter is a favorite amongst believers who cannot help but savor its truths.

I came across a YouTube video of John Piper, and it is the most beautiful reading of Romans 8 I have ever heard. And now when I read it, I cannot help but carry the same inflection and emphasis he shared.

It is set to this glorious, majestic music that climaxes in thunderous applause and then gently settles down to wrap the listener in the comfort of God’s love that cannot even be comprehended.

It reads like poetry as the Holy Spirit testifies to our spirit who we really are…who we were made to be in Christ…who God always intended us to be.
The Holy Spirit makes this possible as He secures our liberation -in part now and in fullness when Christ returns.

With that Spirit guarantee, nothing can separate us from future glory.

The impact of which changes and challenges my mindset to inform how I live my life in freedom, not letting the temporary things of this world have too much emphasis as I hope for what is to come.

Key Thoughts Romans 8 Teaches

Since this is a key chapter in understanding the role of the Holy Spirit, I will humbly endeavor, by God’s grace, to press on.

Paul wrote a letter to the Romans to announce the Gospel is God’s power for salvation. The whole book is a little overwhelming if you consider it in view of God’s mercy.

I am going to read Romans 8 in the English Standard Version so you can join in the exclamation of victory that the divine outpouring of a not guilty verdict warrants.

But I am going to break it up with some key thoughts I want you to consider with me. So, grab your coffee and get ready!

These are key thoughts to consider as we reflect together:
In Christ and by His Spirit, we are no less than 8 things

Not condemned
Resurrected
Adopted as Heirs with Christ
Glorified
Saved in Hope
Joined in Prayer
Called with Purpose
Love beyond Comprehension

We will probably get to five of those today. You will have to come back next week for the last three.

First – We are Not Condemned 8:1-8

8  There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. ^[ ^a ^]   ² For the law of the Spirit of life has set you ^[ ^b ^]  free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.  ³ For God has done what the law, weakened by the flesh, could not do. By sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh and for sin, ^[ ^c ^]  he condemned sin in the flesh,  ⁴ in order that the righteous requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.  ⁵ For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.  ⁶ For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.  ⁷ For the mind that is set on the flesh is hostile to God, for it does not submit to God’s law; indeed, it cannot.  ⁸ Those who are in the flesh cannot please God.

As we consider those first 8 verses, what does it mean to you that, in Christ, you are no longer under condemnation? I have cried real tears over those words many times.

Guilt is no longer held to my account or yours. It’s just as if we had never sinned. We have the peace with God that Paul talked about in chapter 5 and now refers to again here. It’s not an absence of conflict. There will still be plenty of conflict while we are on this earth. But rather it is a tranquility of mind amidst conflict and trials, arising from reconciliation with a Holy God. Reconciled back to God to enter His presence. It’s a sense of divine favor that reaches into our very soul to remind us of every kind of goodness and prosperity in life that belongs to someone who sets their mind on the Spirit. Some of which is realized now and will be completely realized in the future forever.

The mind set on the Spirit is life and peace, now and forever. Setting our mind on something motivates our will to act. We are purposely and with forethought and careful consideration choosing what we want to gratify. Our mindset expresses our basic nature. In order to be controlled by the desires of the Spirit, we will choose to set our mind on the things that gratify the Spirit.

Second – We are Resurrected 8:9-11

⁹ You, however, are not in the flesh but in the Spirit, if in fact the Spirit of God dwells in you. Anyone who does not have the Spirit of Christ does not belong to him.  ¹⁰ But if Christ is in you, although the body is dead because of sin, the Spirit is life because of righteousness.  ¹¹ If the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, he who raised Christ Jesus ^[ ^d ^]  from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through his Spirit who dwells in you.

The same Spirit who raised Jesus Christ from the dead dwells in us, y’all. Contemplate that. The Spirit of life and peace is also the Spirit of resurrection. What kind of power raises someone from the dead never to die again? I think we should stop saying our loved ones who left this earth to go Home are dead. If death is separation from God, they are more alive than they have ever been. They are hanging out with Jesus until they, and we, receive the same resurrected body He did.

Furthermore, we act like we are driving a lawn mower when we are actually driving a corvette. I don’t actually know much but car engines, but the point is we don’t act like someone who has access to all the power in the universe.
Christ’s resurrection is the pledge of ours. There is a kind of life that leads to death and a kind of death that leads to life. We don’t owe this old life one cent. Our debt has been paid. We can put to death the sins that once ruled us and live forever as sons and daughters of God.

Now we are just getting warmed up!

Third – We are Adopted as Heirs with Christ 8:12-17a

¹² So then, brothers, ^[ ^e ^]  we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live according to the flesh.  ¹³ For if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live.  ¹⁴ For all who are led by the Spirit of God are sons ^[ ^f ^]  of God.  ¹⁵ For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, “Abba! Father!”  ¹⁶ The Spirit himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God,  ¹⁷ and if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ… 

The very Spirit of God is beckoning. Everyone who God’s Spirit beckons is a child of God. We were legally adopted -not to fall back into slavery to fear and bondage, but instead to live with child-like excitement, expectantly asking our Father, “What’s our next adventure?”

It is the Holy Spirit who confirms this as He testifies, as He bears witness with our spirit, that we are children of God. And if children then heirs – fellow heirs with Jesus Christ. Jesus is our brother because we have the same Father.

I had a really good father. I called him Daddy. He showed me a picture of my Heavenly Father’s protection and provision. He did not care for the snotty nosed boys that came calling for his four daughters. He told us if we ever wanted a way out, to call him and he would come get us. We did not have cell phones, but he gave us extra cash so we could buy our own dinner and a quarter to slip out and call him, if needed. The heritage he left was one of strength and carefully placed trust. As beautiful and affirming as that is, it doesn’t compare to the inheritance that I share with my brother Jesus.

We share in the glory of Jesus Christ’s inheritance with Him. This confirmation is assured through the fruit His Spirit produces and the power He gives to share this good news and blessing with others.
But …there’s a big but coming.

Fourth – We are Glorified 8:17b-23

…provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him.
¹⁸ For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing with the glory that is to be revealed to us.  ¹⁹ For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God.  ²⁰ For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of him who subjected it, in hope  ²¹ that the creation itself will be set free from its bondage to corruption and obtain the freedom of the glory of the children of God.  ²² For we know that the whole creation has been groaning together in the pains of childbirth until now.  ²³ And not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, groan inwardly as we wait eagerly for adoption as sons, the redemption of our bodies.

Oh dear. Suffering and Glory belong together and cannot be separated and cannot be divorced. Christ suffered. He died so we could live. In order to share in the Glory of the Resurrection Life, we must also suffer.

Do you know anyone who enjoys suffering? I don’t. I don’t think I really even identify with Christ’s disciples who counted it joy to be able to suffer for the cause of Christ. Yay, we were beaten and put in prison for Christ! What? I really don’t want to suffer.

But I have suffered. And you probably have too.

Even creation itself was subjected to the frustration of thorns and thistles. And it is groaning with the pains of childbirth as it waits for the emergence of the transformed universe. We call it New Heaven New Earth. For which we also groan as we eagerly wait for our bodies to be resurrected like Christ’s.

But there is something connective between two souls that have suffered a similar predetermined affliction. I can comfort someone who has suffered the loss of a child better than someone who has not. I can weep earnestly with those who weep because I understand the dark, painful, and seemingly never-ending days of grief. And I can give them words of hope as a balm to their shattered heart.

But that doesn’t mean I understand the suffering you have been asked to endure. There is a lot of suffering in this world that is way worse than my child leaving this earth and going Home to heaven.
So, I don’t find it particularly noble to compare suffering. Suffice it to say there is enough to go around.

What Paul was counting on was that those to whom he was writing would be convinced that their present suffering, in all its forms, could not even be compared to the Glory that would come.

Remember, Suffering and Glory are married. Paul and his cronies endured a lot. But He was able to say in another letter, one to the Philippians, “that to live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Whether he lived or he died wasn’t up to him. He would rather go ahead and die and be with Christ, but if he was asked to keep on doing the Kingdom work God called him to for a little longer…so that others could see God magnified through his suffering…well, he was willing to do that too.

That is what Courage for the Journey is about. Trusting God will come through when you fear He won’t. We don’t ask for suffering. We don’t particularly love it when it comes. But we bravely endure, even if we are still a little afraid, because we have hope that it will not last forever.

If we know something better is coming, doesn’t that help us hang on a little longer? But only if we don’t give up too soon.

JJ Heller has a song with this title, Don’t give up too soon . It has been such an encouragement to me. The last verse especially resonates with a word of hope:

When it feels like you have fallen
To the bottom of the well,
Oh there is nothing braver
Than calling out for help.
Please keep waiting
Hope is coming…
He waits with you
So don’t give up too soon.

Fifth – Saved in Hope 8:24-25

  ²⁴ For in this hope we were saved. Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees?  ²⁵ But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.

Did you hear that repeated word that signals to us is a key word we should pay attention to?

When we were saved, we were only half-saved. We were half-saved in hope of total liberation. God has already completed everything needed to secure our great salvation. Christ claimed this when He cried on the cross, “It is Finished.”
But we are living in between the times of present difficulty and future Glory . Some refer to this as the Already, not Yet . Biblical Hope brings these two together.

What is biblical Hope?

I am glad you asked. It is not lighting birthday candles and blowing them out as you make a wish.

No. It is a sure and certain expectation that the thing you wished for is going to happen. Future Glory is going to happen. It’s why we don’t give up too soon in suffering. We know we can count it, so we wait for it with joyful composure.
Eagerness for the future is balanced with the patience to endure the present through prayer.

In Closing

That is all we are going to cover today. Please join me next week as we finish considering this incredible chapter by looking at how we are joined in prayer, called with purpose, and loved beyond comprehension.

As we reflect on these truths of Romans 8, we are reminded that our liberation is not something we achieve on our own, but something secured for us by the Spirit of God.

The Spirit assures us of our identity as God’s children, empowers us to live in freedom, and anchors our hope in the promise of future glory.

Even as we face suffering and uncertainty, we do so with the confidence that nothing can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus.

Our journey is marked by hope, sustained by prayer, and guaranteed by the Spirit’s presence within us. Let us live each day with the assurance that our ultimate liberation is secure, and let that assurance shape our lives, our prayers, and our hope for what is yet to come.

The post The Spirit Secures Our Liberation appeared first on julie fillinger .

What is Spirit Wisdom

Tue, 04 Nov 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Spirit Wisdom is Higher Wisdom

Today as I continue reflecting about the role and function of the Holy Spirit, I want to talk about wisdom.

Spirit wisdom is a higher wisdom that is imparted to the spiritually mature. That sounds lofty, but it does not mean you have to be a super Christian. It just means you are a genuine believer, born of God. And as you grow in your faith, you continue to see God’s dealings as good. He makes even a simple-minded person such as me appear wise.

Keep it Plain and Simple

Do you like it when people talk over your head with their lofty words of human philosophy? Most, if not all, of us would say no.

Yet, some people will engage us in an argument because they want to congratulate themselves when they win. There are others who are really smart, but they don’t know how to communicate their wisdom so the rest of us can understand it.

I like to talk to smart people who can keep it plain and simple. They care more about me understanding what they are saying than they do about appearing smart.

Applied Knowledge is Beneficial

My brother-in-law Dave is one of the smartest people I know. He knows when he hangs out with us, he is going to be the smartest person in the room. But he chooses and even seems to enjoy explaining complex things in a way I understand. That’s a really useful gift. And he doesn’t seem put off if I don’t get it the first time. He even anticipates the questions I am going to ask and has an answer ready when I finally get to the point of realizing what I didn’t even know I needed to ask.

One time he was helping me with my computer over the phone. He said, “what does it say on the screen?” I told him. He said, “Are you sure it doesn’t say this?” To which I replied, “Oh, yeah, actually, it does say that.” Then he proceeded to tell me what to do. He’s a computer programmer so this is in his wheelhouse, but his willingness to help me understand extends to other topics as well -like books he has been reading that impacted him or analyzing a football game. He will take the time to re-explain things in a different way to help me understand. He is applying his knowledge in a way that is beneficial to those around him for their betterment not his own.

If only someone would do that for me with every difficult thing or decision that arises. Hmmmm. If only there were answers in a book that I could turn to, and someone would help me understand them.

The Book That Has The Answers

If only there were answers in a Book and Someone with wisdom could explain it in a way that I could understand so that it would be useful to my everyday life.
You may have figured out where I am going with this.

That is what the Bible is for me. It’s the Book that has the answers. And I need the Holy Spirit to help me understand it. He guides and teaches me through His Word when I sit still and listen.

Solomon was thought to be the wisest man who ever lived, but he did not listen to his own instruction, and his life became a bit of a mess. However, near the end, he was able to conclude fearing God and keeping His commandments was the only worthwhile thing in life. Everything else was meaningless.

The Difference is Jesus

When I consider what it means to fear God, there seems to be tension between the God of the Old Testament and what I see in Jesus’ life in the New Testament.

If God’s character doesn’t change, what should be my view of Him? I am still trying to figure this out. And as I do, I am convinced God does want me to know His character and nature and fear Him in a healthy way.

The difference between how I approach God now as opposed to how His people in the Old Testament approached a holy God, who could have nothing to do with sin, is Jesus.

The difference is Jesus.

That’s the Sunday School answer for a reason. When Jesus came as the perfect sacrifice, He paid the debt for sin so that we could have peace with God. And He is also the High Priest that makes it possible for us to boldly but reverently approach God’s Throne. If that were not enough, He gave us His Spirit to help us make sense of it all.

God had all of this planned out. He knew the only way we could come to Him was if He came to us.

He knew the only way we could come to Him was if He came to us.

The only way to have peace with a Holy God is through His Son and by His Spirit.

Even the Simple Appear Wise

As I consider how Holy Spirit wisdom impacts my daily life, I will be reflecting on 1 Corinthians 2 which contrasts man’s wisdom of the day with God’s.

Man’s philosophy of that day was intended to draw away the minds of men from divine truth. Paul says this stood in contrast to the simplicity of the Gospel. But the Gospel is not easy to understand until the Holy Spirit opens our blind eyes and then teaches us the Truth of it. When that happens, even the simple appear wise.

Defining Wisdom

I want to give you a definition of wisdom, but I don’t want to lose you. Stay with me while I take a minute to explain how I define words from the New Testament.

I use Zodhiates Complete Word Study Dictionary. The New Testament was written in Greek and Spiros Zodhiates is Greek. This dictionary was his life’s work. Sometimes, there are pages of explanations to sort through. But he does give the bible references to help me narrow down my search to the word from the particular passage I am studying.

Do you remember in school looking up words in Merriam-Webster’s dictionary? I used to think, “who’s Merriam and why does she get to decide how these words are defined?” I did not know the dictionary was named after Noah Webster and the two Merriam publishing brothers. Just like Merriam-Webster’s dictionary is now digital for ease of use, so is Zodhiates. Zodhiates is not free, but I have found it well worth the investment.

I want you to understand this because it is not a reserved skill. You can look up definitions too. It just takes practice. Then the Holy Spirit helps you make sense of it in the context of the passage you are studying. Otherwise, it can be easy to be misled. What you naturally understand is not what you spiritually understand. That’s why Proverbs 3 tells us not to lean on our own understanding.

By God’s Power not Man’s Wisdom

When Paul came to his brothers in Corinth, he resolved to keep it plain and simple. Who is Christ and what did He do?

But when he got there, he was scared. The mission God called him to was serious and he did not know what to say. He did not want to blow it with his own enticing words. He relied on the Holy Spirit to get the message across so that their faith did not rest in man’s wisdom but in the power of God.

What Lasts

Our lifestyle may seem foolish to some of the people around us…maybe to our co-workers or even friends and family.

Have you tried to explain why you do what you do and they don’t get it?
Spirit wisdom is not through popular philosophies or fashionable influencers. Those won’t last. It is through understanding the deep riches of God’s Word. This appears foolish to those who do not have the Holy Spirit to help them understand.

When I do something I know is contrary to God’s Word, His Spirit convicts me. Then I feel sick to my stomach. If I keep on doing it anyway, eventually the sick feeling will go away, but so will my ability to discern God’s leading. And I don’t want to live like that. I have grown to love hearing God’s voice through His Word and by His Spirit and my life is so much better for it. I don’t want to quench His voice.

How God Speaks

Sometimes I wish God would speak to me in an audible voice. Sometimes it feels like that is the only way I will be able to discern what to do.

Strangely, I tend to have peace about the seemingly big decisions that are related to my faith and family or even my career and where I should live.
When I started contemplating why I don’t struggle with the big decisions, I realized God has put people in my life to protect me. First my parents, then my husband. We got married young, so there was not a lot of time in between. And I trusted God would use my parents and my husband to help me with big decisions.

It’s smaller stuff that gets me tied up in knots. I am not talking about what I should wear or what’s for dinner.

I will give you an example. I told you in the first episode how I came to start doing this podcast. I had wanted to start it sooner and Eric thought we should wait. But that is how he operates. It takes him a minimum of six months and more like a year and a half to make any decision. It took him 2 years to buy a riding lawn mower and even longer to buy his car.

We prayed about the podcast for a year and then it seemed like the right timing as God seemed to be providing resources that would be helpful to the process.
But since I was the one pushing for it, once I committed, I started having doubts.

Should I even do it? What will I talk about? Is this going to have an impact? Is anyone going to listen?

God did not speak in an audible voice to give me the answers. Instead, He gave me His Word and His Spirit and that should be more than enough wisdom to help direct me.

But I Still Struggle

So why do I struggle with doubting it?

We talked about fruit of the Spirit last week, and I should probably confess my impatience seems to get the better of me. I tend to feel like if read my bible and prayed in the morning, I should have an answer by that afternoon.

It’s like when I diet, I should see results within three days. I haven’t had a bowl of ice cream for a week, and the scale hasn’t budged at all. I walked four times last week and managed to gain weight.

One of my friends said, “oh that’s because you are building muscle and muscle weighs more than fat.”

They were trying to make me feel better and it did temporarily. But what’s even more helpful is when followed that up with, “it’s going to take more than a week, or a month, or even a year to meet your goals, but I am here with you for the journey.”

And that is what the Holy Spirit does. He’s never in a hurry as He encourages me to continue in the journey and stays with me when I struggle or have doubts.

Keeping at It

In keeping with this podcast illustration… I really thought the episode about Acts 2 and whether or not it promoted socialism would generate a lot of interesting comments. But on the day it was released, I mostly received crazy spam I had to delete. I got discouraged that night. Eric said don’t let that discourage you. Let it inform you of the time-of-day people tend to listen and then give them a chance to think about it.

The next day I received some comments that really encouraged me to keep at it.

What I Naturally Think

It’s interesting to me how much I let what others think and do influence my response, even though I have come to know God’s way of doing things will be different from what I naturally would think.

Paul was no different. He had no clue about God’s eternal plan before his eyes were opened. Being influenced by the so-called experts of his day, Paul was on his way to Damascus to persecute more Christians when the Lord stopped him and blinded him until He could make Him see the true light.

What I Come to Recognize

Paul says this is why Christ asked His Father to forgive those who were crucifying Him. They did not instinctively or intuitively know what they were doing. If they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of Glory.

It is something believers come to recognize as the Holy Spirit illuminates our mind to help us understand what Truth is. There is no empirical evidence or rational conclusions that man could possibly imagine that compares to what God prepared for those who love Him.

God’s Spirit will reveal God’s wisdom to those who affectionately revere Him, promptly obey Him, and gratefully recognize the benefits He bestows. The Holy Spirit searches diligently, exploring and examining everything, even the profound and bottomless things of God. He brings it all out in the open before us.

Natural Man v. The Spiritual

Who knows what you are thinking and planning except yourself?

It is the same way with the Spirit of God. He lets us in on God’s thoughts that we will not intuitively understand or comprehend. When we receive His Spirit, He freely teaches and imparts spiritual Truths using spiritual language that those who do not have the Spirit cannot possibly understand.

We should not be surprised that the natural man – the one who does not have the Holy Spirit indwelling him – does not welcome the gifts, teachings, and revelations that come from the Spirit of God. They are meaningless to him. They seem like folly -silliness. He is incapable of coming to understand and recognize spiritual Truths because they are spiritually discerned.

When Paul contrasts this natural man with a spiritual person, he says the one who is spiritual can investigate, examine, and come to discern anything when he is in open communication with God’s Spirit.

Isaiah asked the question, “who can understand the mind of the Lord so as to instruct Him?”

And Jesus Christ’s answer to at least the first part of his question is this:
Christ knows God’s mind, and we have the Spirit of Christ. Therefore, we can come to understand the mind of Christ, not to instruct Him but to be instructed by Him.

It Takes Courage

In closing, I want to remind you as I also preach to myself…it takes courage to believe in something before you see the results.

I have been learning how to practice leaning into God’s Spirit, to discern His voice, and recognize His nudges as He pushes me forward in areas that at first feel uncomfortable but are actually quite satisfying when I rely on His wisdom and power, not my own.

The post What is Spirit Wisdom appeared first on julie fillinger .

How the Holy Spirit Transforms Me

Tue, 28 Oct 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Three Evidences of Holy Spirit Transformation

Today as I continue my journey and invite you to come along, I want to talk about the transforming work of the Holy Spirit.

How leaning into the indwelling of the Holy Spirit changes me from the inside out.

As I reflect on Galatians 5, I used different resources to study and then read a trusted commentary to verify my conclusions. I would be remiss if I didn’t tell you, these reflections are influenced by John Stott’s commentary on Galatians.

I noted three evidences of the transforming work of the Holy Spirit.

The First Evidence is Freedom

The first evidence that I am being transformed is Freedom.

It is by His Spirit that Christ set me free. I am completely liberated to live the life He called me to. That kind of true freedom is only found in Christ. So why do I keep going back to sins that will hold me in bondage instead of enjoying the freedom of conscience Christ brought with His forgiveness?

If I am being honest, I think it’s because I want to live for myself more than I want to live for Christ. I say I long to lean into His Spirit and hear His voice that leads me on a path of right living. I know in my head that this is the satisfying relationship that gives me real hope for the future.

But the continued struggle with my flesh says -me first, then Jesus, then others. Sometimes the urgency of helping others comes before Jesus. I don’t say that out loud. It doesn’t sound very spiritual. Then I wonder how I got it backwards.
This self-first attitude never works. I am not even fully aware that I am looking out for myself first. It just seems natural to do so. But If I am being transformed by the Holy Spirit, He won’t leave me alone to be satisfied with this kind of selfishness. He keeps bothering me, poking at me, telling me what to do. It can be annoying.

Right up until I yield.

Why does yielding feel like bondage when it is actually the opposite? We do things for our children that we believe are best and sometimes they fight us. If they just yield, they will realize we had their best interest at heart. And that the yielding will actually give them more freedom.

I do the same thing with the Holy Spirit. I fight back on what He nudges me to do. When I yield, I realize He was right. He always is. And then my world is put back in order to enjoy the kind of Freedom He called me to. And I have to stop and be thankful He doesn’t leave me alone.

The Second Evidence is Standing Firm.

This Freedom in Christ requires me to stand firm . That’s the second evidence of the Spirit’s transforming work.

Standing firm is a command to stay grounded so I can keep running the race well. Standing firm in what the Holy Spirit has told me is true and right, solidifying that in my heart so that I can keep on keepin on in the race we call life.

To illustrate this, I want to share how I met my husband.

Eric and I met in a college calculus class. He’s a smarty pants and didn’t have to take the first quarter because his advance placement (AP) exam allowed him to test out of it. The only person he knew when he came in the second quarter was a guy I was sitting next to and had dated a few times. This guy introduced us, and we started becoming friends. I needed to actually pay attention, but he felt like it was his job to try to make me laugh and disrupt the class. He was successful most of the time and that just encouraged him to keep on.

One day before calculus, he brought in a package he had just picked up at the post office. Back in the day, if there was a slip of paper in your box that signaled you had a package, it felt like Christmas.

He opened his package and his eyes gleamed with excitement as he pulled out a pair of skinny running shoes that he purchased for Nationals. I played basketball in high school and didn’t know much about the running world. To me, there was not much to them, but he called them  racing flats , with emphasis, like there could not be a greater gift at that moment. Even with academic and athletic scholarships, the private school we attended was expensive. So, I knew he had carefully and miserly considered the cost of these flimsy things.
Eric was a gifted long-distance runner, an All-American in Cross Country and Track. Everyone on campus knew him from these accolades. He never boasted in himself but gave God the Glory as he often quoted Eric Liddle, “God made me fast, and I feel His pleasure when I run.”  

The very first race I attended after we started dating did not disappoint. He was riding on the van with the team and told me to catch a ride with his parents. I was to meet them at a fast-food restaurant near the interstate. He told me what car they would be driving. I had never even met them but hopped in and off we went.

When we arrived, some of his friends from the women’s team showed me the ropes. It was all so very exciting, and they wanted me to have the best vantage point. This was a district race, so I understood the stakes were high. Eric was in the lead pack and ran very strategically. I had already run about 2-3 miles just trying to catch him at different points so I could cheer as he flew by.

Coming down the stretch, it looked as though an opponent was going to win. Then with about 100 yards to go, I caught his eye for the briefest of moments. I started cheering for all I was worth. He went into another gear and passed the leader right in front of me and then cruised on to victory. Come to find out he was one of the favorites to win anyway, but I felt like he had won for me!!! Even though it would take several more months to figure it out, that’s when I fell in love.

 Eric made it look so easy, but I soon learned long distance running requires a lot of training, sacrifice, and endurance. It’s something you build up to. At his peak, he ran 120 – 140 miles a week in training in the summer just to run 5 miles in a race, not to mention speed work and strength training.

Distance runners identify better than the rest of us with comparing lives of faith to running a race. It is their training that helps them stand firm .

Distractions Pull Me in Different Directions

In contrast to those who trust their training, I allow so many distractions to keep me from standing firm. My pastor recently compared distractions to a tractor pull – being pulled in different directions.

Many times, it’s people with good intentions that I allow to pull me in a different direction. I answer a call to do a good thing, but it’s just a distraction from God’s best for me.

And it can be hard to distinguish what is true versus false until it plays out. Just one lie mixed in with a bunch of truths can be so deceiving. This is satan’s way of trying to get me to take a detour.

But this kind of intentional persuasion is not insignificant. The permeating power of sin can mislead a whole church. Thankfully, we can have confidence in the Lord to keep us from gross heresy, but how much damage is done first?
Another distraction is the tendency to think that if our good outweighs our bad, we will be okay in God’s eyes. If we are better than the person next to us, surely God will accept us.

Only, the person next to us is not the standard. Christ is. And we all fall short.
Even mature Christians who know a lot of bible verses continue to struggle with this. They may not say that, but it’s in their heart and comes out in their attitudes.

The Holy Spirit is the One who transforms our wrong way of thinking. Leaning into Him every day keeps me standing firm and running well because He leads me to discern the right way.

The Third Evidence is Spirit Power

The third evidence of the transforming work of the Spirit is that I am living by His power.

To illustrate this, He first shows me what Freedom in Christ is not.

It is not indulging myself.
It is not exploiting my neighbor.
And it is not disregarding my moral requirements.

Have you heard it said, “you shall love your neighbor as yourself”?

Freedom is not to be used as an opportunity for selfishness but instead to serve one another in love. There’s no place for malicious and destructive talk amongst believers who are supposed to be brothers and sisters. What happens to our precious freedom if we devour one another with our words like wild animals?
In Christ, life is liberty that can be easily lost if I am not making the decision to live habitually by the Holy Spirit’s empowerment. Responding to and being controlled and guided by Him keeps me from gratifying my own desires. By myself, I cannot do what I want to do. I may have all the willpower in the world, but I will give in if I am not actively yielding to His Power.

Holy Spirit Power Will Keep Me From Sin

I sin when I give in to my flesh instead of staying plugged in to Spirit Power. I can either be plugged in to the Spirit, or I can be plugged in to my flesh. Galatians 5 covers a pretty robust list of what being plugged into the power of the flesh looks like.

In general, the lists of sins we read about in the Bible always make me chuckle a bit. Not because sin is funny, but because of what’s in the list and specifically the types of sins that are listed right next to one another.

We tend to classify sins. These are the really bad ones. Then there are these here that are just kinda bad. You know you shouldn’t do them, but everyone does so how bad is it really? And then there’s some that we think really are not bad at all. We might as well just go ahead and not call them sin.

Except, we are not the ones who decide what is and is not sin. A Holy God has already decided that. And He puts sorcery, gross sexual misconduct, and drunken orgies in the same list as jealousy and fits of anger. Habitually giving in to our own selfish desires shows we are not plugged into the power of the Spirit. And if we continue to make a practice of doing such things we are saying with our actions that we really do not want to be a Christian.

What Spirit Power Accomplishes.

Coming to the end of chapter 5 in Galatians, there are nine qualities that characterize someone who lives in true freedom where no deterrent is needed to restrain behavior.

As we stay plugged into Spirit Power, He grows fruit. I tended to think that I needed to do something or try harder to get more of it. After studying Galatians, I now am being persuaded it is an action the Holy Spirit does to me as I yield to Him. The only thing I am doing is yielding.

I know I keep coming back to yielding. t’s hard to wrap my brain around it because yielding seems so passive, like I am not doing enough. In reality, it is very active, but the Spirit is affecting the work done to me when I release control to Him. This requires faith. I have to trust that the Spirit will do what He says as I lean into Him and wait.

Planting, watering and feeding all sound nurturing. However, the best way to grow more fruit is to be pruned , the more pruning the more fruit when harvest time comes. Because pruning hurts, it can feel like the Spirit has left me hacked and barren. But if I don’t give up too soon, a great harvest of spiritual fruit is the result.

The cycles of the harvest that continue become my walk.

The fruit the Spirit bears

as I maintain disciplines

in my walk with Him

are worth the pain

caused by pruning.

It’s not as though the fruit is completely mature in one before the Spirit starts to plant the seed of another. The growth occurs at different rates as the cycles of harvest continue.

I used Zodhiates Complete Word Study Dictionary of the New Testament to define these characteristics of the Fruit of the Spirit.

Love  – affection, devotion, goodwill while sacrificially doing what is best for the recipient more than what they desire.

Joy  – gladness of heart, exultation and exuberance of spirit regardless of circumstance because it’s based on eternal promises.

Peace  – a state of tranquility and harmony arising from reconciliation with God and a sense of divine favor and every kind of good.

Patience  – the ability to suffer long and forbear before proceeding to action; able to avenge oneself but refrains from doing so, choosing to endure the circumstance instead.

Kindness  – a disposition of usefulness which pervades the whole nature, mellowing all that would be harsh.

Goodness  – energized zeal for excellence manifested in active benevolence.

Faithfulness  – persuasion based on being convicted of what is real resulting in a pledge of sincere character.

Meekness  – an inwrought grace of the soul that accepts God’s dealings with us as good and therefore does not dispute or resist; a balance born in strength of character that demonstrates gentleness, not in weakness, but in power. |

Self-control  – contentedness resulting in temperate restraint of one’s desires.

There is no need for an external law to curb our behavior when we produce attitudes that please God. All of the fruit we bear here for God’s glory have impact in the Kingdom to come. Nothing is wasted. May that give us real courage and spur us on as we look forward to Christ’s return.

In closing

If I belong to Christ, I will put to death all of my self-seeking passions and desires, even the secret ones no one but He knows about. I will deliberately and with forethought put them to death by nailing them to the cross. At the cross is where they face certain death. Albeit sometimes slow and agonizing , the cross is certain death. So, when the desire to indulge in my flesh arises, I know I do not have to give in. Only then am I free to live by the power of the Spirit , keeping in step with Him as the leader Who helps me work this out in every detail of my life.

The post How the Holy Spirit Transforms Me appeared first on julie fillinger .

Does Acts 2 Promote Socialism?

Tue, 21 Oct 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

Controversy or Opportunity?

Does Acts 2 Promote Socialism? Today’s post has the potential to be controversial. But I hope you will hear me out and prayerfully consider your stance before reacting. I have been re-learning for years how to allow those I may disagree with to challenge the foundation of what I believe. And to not come to a hasty conclusion, but to let it simmer.

There are people in this country who genuinely care about the needs of others being met. They think the church has failed to meet those needs. Are they right? What I question is whether or not the government should step in to meet the needs if the Church fails to do their responsibility.

The First Holy Spirit Missionary Church

As I continue in my reflections of Acts 2, I saved the end of the chapter because I have a lot of thoughts about it. Particularly what the church should look like. John Stott’s commentary on Acts has influenced my thinking on this subject and he said the Holy Spirit is a missionary Spirit who created a missionary Church.

So I started calling the believers who came together after the Holy Spirit rained down on Pentecost– The First Holy Spirit Missionary Church.

The Church began when God called Abraham but here in Acts is when the remnant of God’s people became the Spirit filled body of Christ.

Acts 2:42-47 gives us a picture of what this church looked like. And I think it is a glimpse of heaven that our hearts crave.

Devotion Matters

The 3,000 souls that were added to the apostles and the 120 that had initially received the Holy Spirit at Pentecost, -stuck around. They not only stuck around, but they devoted themselves – steadfastly persevering and insisting on staying close to sound biblical teaching from the apostles, to doing life together, to a common meal (which also included the Lord’s Supper at times), and to praying together.

Did you catch what it means to devote yourself to something? – steadfastly persevering and insisting on staying close to someone in faithfulness.

Being devoted is important, but so is what you are devoted to!

Beautiful Harmony

Awe and reverential fear came on every soul as they saw many miracles performed by the apostles. These miracles authenticated what they were teaching. Everyone who believed – who adhered to, relied on, and trusted in this teaching, -had all things in common in wonderful harmony.

Listen to what they were doing!

Selling their possessions and belongings
Distributing the proceeds to all – as any had need
Daily attending the temple together, united in purpose
Then going to their homes for a common meal, receiving their food with glad and generous hearts
Praising God together with a sense of goodwill, as God showed favor on them.

Do our churches look like this today? If not, why not?

Do you think more or less people would want to come if church looked like this?

Thinking about the beautiful simplicity of it is attractive enough. So what gets in the way of us living like this?

Sin Gets in the Way

One word – SIN. Sin keeps us from allowing the Holy Spirit to freely reign in our hearts and then in our churches.

I wonder if some of you immediately start thinking about all the reasons why this won’t work today – how impractical it is, that it was a one-time thing to start the NT church, and maybe you start jumping to what it’s not saying.

So let’s just get that out of the way.

What Acts 2:42-47 is NOT saying?

It’s not saying private property is forbidden. We know this because they met in people’s homes after worshipping at the temple.

Some people came from far away for Pentecost and got saved and then stayed in and around Jerusalem. And those who lived close, welcomed them in their homes and sold stuff so they all had what they needed to live. It’s not a stretch to think they figured out their new jobs and housing in time, as God showed them favor with new opportunities.

The second thing It’s not saying is that generosity is involuntary.

Generosity is called for and commendable, but not involuntary . If you are filled with the Holy Spirit, you are going to be generous. You are going to pull the resources God gave you together for the common good. God owns everything and expects His people to be good stewards of what He has given to advance His Kingdom.

Destitute brothers and sisters is a standing rebuke to us who are more affluent. Think about that.

Our destitute brothers and sisters in the church is a standing rebuke to us who are more affluent.

It’s not saying everything must be compulsively divided equally .

But how should we as Spirit filled believers try to alleviate need and abolish poverty in the community of Jesus? I am honestly not sure how to abolish world hunger. But I can tell you what generosity looks like in a small group of like-minded believers.

I go to a fairly large church where about 1,000 people come every week to worship. We have a pastor who faithfully feeds us God’s Word as he shows a picture of speaking Truth in Love, giving a correct representation of what God’s character looks like. We have different ministries that reach out and invite the community to come in.

There are a lot of different socio-economic classes represented.

If someone needs a bag of groceries or help with heir light bill, there are resources that are pooled together and made available.

Good Old Fashioned Sunday School is a Good Model

But the example I am referring to comes from a smaller group than that. I am talking about our good old-fashioned SS class.

Sunday School is pushed at our church and all members are encouraged to find a group they can do life with. That they can Acts 2:42 with.

When we get to know one another in this environment, and share our joys and sorrows and needs, the spirit of generosity is present. I have many generous friends and family, but I have never been a part of such a generous group of people as this – that purposes as a group to pool their resources together for the common good – so everyone has what they need.

We have purchased appliances and furniture, shared many meals together, bought groceries, did yard work for widows, Christmas gifts for orphans, so much prayer for one another, visiting one another who are in the hospital, grieving together, getting together to study the Bible, going to shows together, and it goes on and on. If anyone has a need and shares it, the class is going to figure out how to meet it.

The sharing of it is obviously a crucial component. We are motivated to be generous because we know and love one another and we hate to see one of us in need. We cannot stand by and do nothing. We love each other and want to live life together.

I think this is a microcosm of what Acts 2:42 looks like. To live in wonderful harmony, pool our resources together, and trust those who are leading the efforts to distribute the proceeds as any have needs.

Eric and I just recently stopped being the teachers of this beautiful class as the Lord is showing us other opportunities for ministry, but we are still a part of its community and others have stepped up to fill certain roles.

It is NOT a call for socialism.

Along these same lines of voluntary giving, this passage is not saying the church should demand we give so that everyone has the same amount.

But I can see how people think socialism is an acceptable form of government. I know that’s a big butt and I don’t want to lose you, so let me be clear – I am not calling for socialism nor do I think this passage is calling for a public form of government known as socialism.

It’s not about having the same amount. It is about needs being met by those who are Spirit led to be generous. If the Holy Spirit is in you, you will be led to be generous. This is the Spirit of Christ prompting you. You will care for the needs of others. If you do not have that kind of heart…it’s not for me to question your salvation, but I may wonder if you are filled with the Spirit.

Let me repeat my earlier statement for emphasis….It’s not about having the same amount. It’s about needs being met by those who are Spirit led to be generous.

There are people in this country who genuinely care about the needs of others being met. I started the post with this. They think the church has failed to meet those needs and in part, they are right. What I question is whether or not the government should step in to meet the needs or is it the responsibility of the church?

Is it possible the answer is yes. Yes to both. Yes to the church. Yes to the government. What I mean by that is the government should not do sooo much that churches no longer have the desire or means to meet needs. But if churches lack the resources or willingness to meet all needs, needs not desires, I am okay with some government assistance for a time -a time, not a generation. This would not be necessary if there was no sin.

Will Free Enterprise Still Work?

I grew up believing Free enterprise works because it takes into account greed and hard work. My dad took me to hear Ronald Reagan speak when I was a child. It had a profound impact. He promoted policies that encourage someone who wants to see if there’s a market for what they are selling. The consumer would decide.

Today’s capitalism does not look like Reagan’s economic policies. I have recently reconsidered why the free market is failing. Could it be there is some truth that the current administration is giving an unfair advantage to those already in power? If the government helped with real needs but then let go of control, I think the free market could still work. But how do we get back to that when greed seems to get in the way?

The First Holy Spirit Missionary Church thrived because there was no greed and no lack of motivation to work. Everyone gave and served in abundance, trying to outdo one another in a spirit of love and gratitude for what they had just been blessed with – the outpouring of the Holy Spirit!

The church grew because people liked what they saw and as they came, God added those who were being saved. God did the saving and the giving of the resources to meet the needs and those with generous hearts praised Him. That’s what’s missing if churches allow the government to meet all of the needs.

And that just brings up more questions. What should be done if churches continue to fail to meet needs? Who gets to decide what constitutes failure? Should the needs of church members be considered over someone wandering in off the street?

I don’t have all of these answers. But I know the One who does and it just further emphasizes the need to be filled with the Holy Spirit, who will give wisdom to any who asks for it.

Not All Generosity is Based on Money

I want to continue to develop the concept of generosity by considering not all generosity is based on money and not all needs are physical.

Should I not have compassion to meet needs of the soul and spirt as well? They present themselves as anxiety, fear, and agitation.

Consider a Soft Answer

When communicating with someone who is agitated, a soft answer can diffuse the bomb that may be about to explode. A soft answer will have its way so a real conversation can begin where the Holy Spirit can work in our hearts and minds. That’s a better way to get someone to see your way of thinking. Because you aren’t really the One doing the convincing.

I have found this works in all relationships. Spouse, children, parents, siblings, friends, coworkers, enemies or frenemies. It is not the most obvious thing to do because it is contrary to what we want to do. Instead of reacting in anger, I can choose to take a cleansing breath (not an obvious exasperation but just a quick mind clearing in and out) and then purpose to speak with gentleness.

The times I am not behaving this way, show I am not filled with the Spirit. Even though He is there, if I am not nurturing His presence, it can be hard to hear Him speaking. I have been learning how to hear the Holy Spirit and I do not want to go back to not being able to hear Him, to not being able to sense the nudges are really Him.

What I Practice

This is what I have been practicing:

Every morning I get up, I get my coffee, and I head to the back porch with my bible and journal – okay it’s my phone with the bible app, but you understand.

I sit down and still myself, taking a deep breath in and slowly releasing it. Sometimes several times – as many times as it takes for me to be still and quiet, asking the Lord to meet with me. Asking Him to help me focus on Him as I am about to read His Word. Then I read and write some things in my journal, all the while asking Him to speak to me, to teach me as I listen.

There are times I get so distracted. But I keep at it. And I ask the Lord to recenter my focus. The Holy Spirit is the Lord’s Spirit. I am leaning on His Spirit to recenter me, not on myself. My meditation is on Him and His Words, not just anything that happens to fly through my brain.

And then, after the initial meditation and bible reading, I pray.

I start with Adoration. Adoring God based on His character. What did I just read in His Word that informs me of who He is. I praise Him for His character.

Then I move to confession. I ask the Holy Spirit to bring to mind sins that have no business in my heart. He actually does this all day -if I am listening and leaning in to Him. But I also use this time to encourage ongoing fellowship.

Then I thank God with a heart of gratitude for the many blessings in my life and I try to count at least 3. What are at least 3 things I am thankful for. When I first started doing this, I struggled to come up with 3 things, but I could always be thankful for eternal life.

THEN…. I ask for something for myself or others.

I have different people I pray for every day. There are short term and long term needs on the prayer list.

I can feel a little bogged down if I think I have to be the solution to everyone’s problems. When this happens, the Holy Spirit reminds me I am not in charge. I am only being asked to do my part and He is going to tell me what my part is, so I don’t have to worry or be overwhelmed or do too much. I have to be reminded of this often.

ACTS

If this way of praying sounds familiar, you may recognize it with the acronym ACTS

Adoration

Confession

Thanksgiving

Supplication

The order is important as it keeps me focused on what should be priority.

Also, when I am bringing Supplications – especially physical things people have asked me to pray about, I remember they have needs of their soul and spirit as well that are impacted by their physical need.

I don’t know the purpose for their current trial. But I trust God will use it to make them more like Christ and that it won’t last forever. There will come a day when we suffer no more and we weep no more because the King has returned to set up His Kingdom. But until then, may I be found a faithful witness and keep telling my story of God’s goodness.

How to Get Started

I know this sounds like it takes me awhile. And honestly I have found myself going to bed earlier so I can get up earlier so I have more time to do this. Because it is my favorite time of the day – when the Lord meets me to break through the darkness with His glorious Light!

It’s not that I am some super Christian that is different from regular Christians.

And I didn’t wake up one day and start doing this. It has been over years of growing in the Lord.

I started with reading 5 verses a day and saying a quick prayer. It couldn’t have taken 5 minutes. And then the next day reading 5 more and the next 5 more, not really understanding what I was reading. But as I kept at it, the Holy Spirit started to help me make sense of it and sent people my way that knew more than me to help me understand. And it kept growing form there.

If you are just getting started, I would suggest you get up, do the breathing exercises until you are still and quiet before the Lord and then start reading a Psalm or part of a Psalm, whatever doesn’t feel overwhelming. Try to stick with it every day. Even if it is 5 minutes, then 10 minutes, then 15 minutes. Once you get started, and discipline yourself to keep at it, you too will get addicted to hearing the voice of the Holy Spirit.

If you fall out of practice and notice you are missing this time, start again. And again. And again. As many times as it takes. It helps to have accountability with someone – a mentor, a friend, your spouse. Don’t get discouraged by lies. Satan wants to condemn you to bring you down. The Holy Spirit wants to convict you, convincing you of Truth to lift you up.

Conclusion

That brings us back to the church in Acts 2. They were completely filled to the brim with the Holy Spirit, acting under His guidance. And as they did, the Lord grew them. That’s a good example for us to follow today.

May we devote ourselves to the things that advance God’s Kingdom as the Holy Spirit guides us.

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The Day the Spirit Rained Down

Tue, 14 Oct 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://feeds.transistor.fm/courage-for-the-journey

The Day of Pentecost Has Arrived

What can I say about the day the Holy Spirit rained down? We learn about the Day of Pentecost in Acts 2 and it’s just really incredible.

Jesus told His disciples He was leaving. But He would not leave them as orphans. A day was coming when He would send His Spirit to guide and comfort them. And that day has finally arrived!

The Spirit Moves

Can you think of a time you have been in a worship service and felt the Holy Spirit moving?

I would like to think He is moving and working in my heart every time I open His Word. But there are specific instances throughout my life I recall that there was an extra amount of the Holy Spirit pouring out, making it more obvious He was doing something. Or maybe I was just being more sensitive to it.

The first time I can remember was at a church camp bonfire when I was 9 years old. Have you ever been to church camp?

That was the first year I could go, and I went every year until I graduated high school. After a week of knowing someone, they were my lifelong friend. I was literally standing around a bonfire singing kum ba yah as I embraced them because I would not see them for another year.

This particular bonfire, I was moved by the Holy Spirit as the camp pastor was talking about being saved from hell. I knew I sinned and I did not want to go to hell. I said, “Jesus please save me. I don’t want to go to hell.”

I don’t know for sure, but I don’t think I was actually saved that day. I went to Sunday School and big church just about every Sunday, Tuesday night AWANA, and Wednesday night prayer meeting. I knew a lot about Jesus and I still didn’t want to go to hell, but it didn’t keep me from being pretty naughty. Especially in my Jr Hi years.

Looking back I think the encounter at the church camp bonfire was the beginning of God calling me to Himself through His Word and His Spirit.

But it wasn’t until I was in high school that I wanted to really stop living for myself and live how Jesus wanted me to.

Interestingly enough, it seemed the Holy Spirit convinced me and made sense of what it meant to truly follow Jesus with all of my heart and mind after I worked at that same church camp between my junior and senior years of high school.

There are several other times I can recall related to a vocational change in college and ministry opportunities into my 30’s and 40’s.

No Take Backs

But More recently, the Holy Spirit was dealing with me and nudging me to go forward. I was thinking, “Can’t I just take care of this here in the pew?” That nudging is mostly a blessing but it does not always feel like it.

Sometimes He makes me uncomfortable. And this was one of those times He would not leave me alone!
So I went forward to pray at the altar as a public confession. I didn’t really know why He was asking me to do this. I didn’t really want to do it. My attitude about doing it wasn’t that great. But I did it.

Then He made it clear….He wanted to cement in my heart that I would hold my son Drew with an open hand and not take it back. No take backs.

It’s Understandable but not Obedient

I had placed an unintended burden on Drew by holding on to him too tightly. We suffered a great loss when his brother Nicholas died, so it is understandable that I would struggle with this. No one would blame me.

But being understandable and being obedient are not the same thing.

God has broken my fingers on several occasions to deal with me on this and remind me, Drew is a gift and being his mom is a great joy. But just like Nicholas, Eric and I dedicated him to the Lord. Therefore I cannot hold on to him like an idol.

Honestly, I thought I had taken care of this a few years ago, but it kept coming back around.

A Memorial Stone

Do you do that? You give up an idol of your heart and then you take it back?

I would say, “Lord, I am giving this up to You. I Trust You.” And at the time I said it, I meant it. But just as soon as those words barely had time to form, it’s as if the evil genius satan or one of his minions was saying, “oh we’ll see about that.” And then before I knew what was happening, I was struggling with it all over again.

I knew I needed to break this cycle.

This is the year I am not taking things back that I already gave to the Lord.

So just to make sure, the Holy Spirit nudged me forward and I bowed my head at the altar and laid my idol down. This is now a memorial stone, a rock of remembrance to look back on, and so far I haven’t taken it back. Now, confessing this to you continues to be part of my story and will help keep me accountable.

Pentecost is Like a Tornado

Getting back to Acts 2, the Day of Pentecost had finally come. And suddenly there came from heaven a sound like a mighty rushing wind.

That makes me think of a tornado.

An F5 tornado came really close to our house one evening when the boys were little. James Spann is the weather guru in these parts, and he had told us to get in our safe place. So we were hunkered in the basement when we heard it coming…whewwwwwwwwwwww. Like a train whistle and then Powpowpowpowpowpow like someone was shooting down the door.

The wind picked up a big 80 year old tree and threw it on our roof. Later, aerial photos showed the tornado came right up to our door and parted as if something or Someone stronger forced it to go around. A powerful force strong enough to make the F5 tornado go around. We were out of the house for about 3 months getting the roof and windows fixed and utilities restored. But the house on the rock stood firm.

But It’s Holy Spirit Power

This is what I think of when I read about a sound like a strong gale force wind filling the entire house where the apostles and other followers were sitting. Only this wasn’t a tornado. It was the Holy Spirit of Jesus Christ raining down with all of the power Jesus promised a chapter ago in Acts 1!

The Spirit of God has been active in the world since creation. It’s just that now here in Acts 2, He is showing His power in a new way to launch the New Covenant Age and He will keep at it until Christ Returns in all His Glory)

Tongues of Fire

Then divided tongues resembling a purifying wildfire came and rested on each of them. This is the best way the author Luke knew how to describe what they were seeing. And all 120 of them who had been meeting together devoting themselves to prayer, while they waited for this moment, -all of them were filled with the Holy Spirit and began to speak in languages other than their native tongue as the Holy Spirit prompted them.

Devout Jews from every nation under heaven, who were also in Jerusalem for Pentecost, came together when they heard the sound. They were looking at each other bewildered because they were hearing the mighty works of God spoken in their own language that these uncultured Galileans would not have learned.

Faith is Having Ears to Hear

It’s like Rosetta Stone showed up and taught them different foreign languages – all of the languages in the known world at that time. Only it was the Holy Spirit and it happened the instant they were filled with Him. Those who heard were amazed and perplexed and were saying to one another, “what does this mean?”

Others who didn’t believe only heard gibberish. So they started mocking and accusing them of being drunk.

Let’s think about that for a minute.

Those who had faith were clearly hearing the mighty works of God spoken in their native language and those who did not have faith only heard gibberish. They didn’t have ears to hear because they lacked faith.

Doesn’t it seem like that happens in the world today? And not just in the world, but also in the church?

If Faith comes by hearing and hearing by the Word of God, the Spirit must be present for us to have the ears to hear clearly. God uses the Spirit and His Word to reveal Himself.

And the Revelation of God is all we need.

Prophecy Fulfilled

Well, Peter, being the spokesman and full of the Spirit, backed by the other 11 apostles, began to speak to the crowd with bold urgency.

Answering the mockers, he said these followers of Christ have not even had time to get drunk because it was only 9 in the morning. Like he didn’t know anyone who got drunk by 9 in the morning.

But that what they were witnessing was prophesied by Joel. Do you remember Joel? He is one of the minor prophets. The life of a prophet, whether major or minor wasn’t easy. In chapter 2 of the book of Joel, he said God declared He would pour out His Spirit on every kind of people – men and women, young and old, servants and nobles – there would be no distinction between those who believed.

God would pour out His Spirit on them and they would prophesy about Him.

This prophesy was being fulfilled that day. And wonders and signs would continue until Christ returns. In the meantime, whoever calls out for help, invoking the Name of the Lord -that is everyone who worships the Christ as Lord – whoever does that – will be saved.

Joel prophesies about it, Peter recalls that prophesy and Luke writes about it here in Acts, and then Paul speaks of it in his book to the Romans. That’s 3 times that I know of that the Holy Spirit inspires men to write these same words:

Whoever calls upon the Name of the Lord shall be saved! This is still True today!

There is No Distinction

What does it mean to you that there is no distinction?

That has relevance.

I’ve got news for you. It’s not just about the U S of A. I am probably going to offend some people here. But I think when we read about God’s people and it is referring to Israel, meaning the True Israel – THE Church that includes Jews and Gentiles that are grafted in -as was always God’s kind intention -when we Americans hear the words “God’s people or God’s children” -we tend to apply it mainly to the US.

News Flash! God does not make distinctions between races, genders, age, social class, marital status – none of it. All of us in this whole wide world can bring our baggage to Jesus and leave it at His feet and call on His Name and be saved! That’s the Gospel Truth.

The First Holy Spirit Missionary Church

But Peter is not done. He goes on for quite some time. Luke just records a piece of it -enough for us to understand Peter is saying this Day of Pentecost is best understood through Jesus Christ. His life and ministry of miracles and wonders, His death, resurrection, and exaltation to heaven results in our salvation and a new community in the First Holy Spirit Missionary Church.

There’s not a second church. THE Church started when God called out Abraham and told Him He would make a nation through him and would bless him and make his name great and all of the families of the earth would be blessed through his seed, speaking of Jesus.

This first missionary church is new because of this new work of the Holy Spirit indwelling believers at the time of their salvation. That had not happened before. Before this, the Holy Spirit came on people for specific purposes.

Now, as of this day, He would indwell believers and their bodies would be His temple. There is no longer a need to go to the temple to offer sacrifices because Jesus Christ offered Himself as the all sufficient, ultimate sacrifice.

Peter goes on to tell the crowd God had this planned out ahead of time as the way for sinful man to be reconciled to a Holy God. God is sovereign like that. But they would still be held responsible for crucifying and killing Jesus.

God’s Sovereignty and Man’s Responsibility Coexist

How is it possible for God’s Sovereignty and Man’s Responsibility to coexist?

If God had His plan in place for how things would turn out before He even created the world, why is man held responsible?

Maybe you have never really thought about this before? Or maybe thinking about it hurts your brain? Or maybe you have thought about it but you didn’t know how to put it into words.

I have had the privilege to sit under really good bible teaching and study the bible for myself for years. My short answer is…I don’t know. I don’t know. My longer answer includes God’s character of eternality and omniscience, but we will save that for another day.

Even though man’s responsibility for evil is not absolved by God’s predetermined plan, God in His love made a way.

His Son died and paid the debt we owed. But that’s not the end because But God showed up. I hope you have heard about But God moments. There’s before But God is about to do something and there’s after But God does it. In this case, Christ had died, But God raised Him up! Death was no match for Him. It was not possible for Him to be held by the pangs of death.

No Fear in Death

That is a huge word of encouragement for us! Don’t those very words give you courage to face even death without fear?

Death was no match for Him. It was not possible for Him to be held by the pangs of death.

What does that mean for us? What are the implications for us? How does that message give us Hope?

Christ conquering death made it possible for us to also. When someone who knows the Lord departs their body, their soul and spirit are immediately in the presence of Jesus. They are living their best lives. It’s us who are left behind who grieve because we have to learn how to live again without them. But we do not grieve as someone who has no hope!

The Glory of the Resurrection

Well, Peter goes on to speak of the glory of the reality of Jesus Christ’s Resurrection when he quotes a prophecy from Psalm 16 that David is speaking, not about himself, but about Christ.

The Lord is always before Him. Jesus Christ would not be cast down. His heart is glad. He dwells in the hope that His soul would not be abandoned to Hades but instead He would know the path of Life. God’s presence would enrapture Him and infuse His soul with joy.

Peter then testifies that they all were eye witnesses of Jesus Christ’s Resurrection. And furthermore, what everyone in attendance was seeing and hearing that day -was the pouring out of the promised blessing of the Holy Spirit.

He said, David did not ascend into heaven but instead said this,

The Lord GOD (meaning the Sovereign Ruler Yahweh) said to my Lord (meaning my Master the Messiah, Jesus Christ),

Yahweh said to Christ,

Sit at My right hand until I make Your enemies Your footstool.

Yahweh is the Supreme Ruler of the Universe and His Son Jesus Christ would ascend to heaven and sit down because It Is Finished – the work He came to do on the cross was done, He had conquered death with His resurrection, had ascended to the second highest position in the universe, and would stay there until The Father said it’s time for you to Return to set up Your Kingdom on New Heaven New Earth. This is the place where heaven and earth will come together and those who love Jesus Christ and worship Him as the King of kings will reign and rule with Him forever.

Time For a Response

So there is no room for doubt when Peter says,

“Let all the host of Israel therefore know for certain, that God made Him both Lord and Christ – this Jesus whom you crucified .”

Whoa!

Do you want to know what their response was to Peter’s teaching?

They didn’t walk off offended by what they heard and never come back. No. They were cut to the heart by the TRUTH of the words as the Holy Spirit pierced them with intense conviction.

And they asked, “Brothers, what shall we do?”

And Peter said, “Repent and be baptized.”

In other words, change your views and purpose in your heart to accept the will of God instead of rejecting it. Change your life by turning to God. Identify with the character of Jesus Christ, taking on His Name. Then you will be forgiven and released from your sins. AND you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit indwelling you.

You can show the change of your inner heart through the outward expression of baptism.

This promise is for you and your children and all who are far off – everyone who the Lord our God invites to come to Himself.

The result? There were about 3,000 souls added to the Church that day.

Evangelism is Our Responsibility

How does Peter’s approach make you think differently about evangelism?

Do you think he was too harsh?

Does it matter that his audience was devout Jews and had access to the Law and maybe should have known better? How is that different from an audience who has not heard the Gospel, or who is unchurched or does not know the Bible?

It seems Jesus in His earthly ministry spoke differently to these different groups of people.

How should we respond? And what is our responsibility to share the Gospel?

These are all good questions to ponder until next time when we talk about how the Holy Spirit indwelling the Church radically changed how they lived.

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The Promise of Comfort

Tue, 07 Oct 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Click here to listen to the podcast

It’s to Your Advantage That I Go

I want to talk about things that matter. And what matters to me is healing. My journey to healing has come through courage and hope that leads to peace. Sorrow had completely taken possession of the disciples hearts when Jesus told them He was leaving. But He said, “It is to your advantage that I go away. For if I do not go away, the Comforter will not come to you.” The Holy Spirit is Jesus’ promise of comfort.

Tell Your Story

We need to tell our stories. We will not have the same stories or the same outcomes. But My story matters. And Your story matters. And when we tell our stories, when we have the courage to tell our story, the grip of suffering is lessened. We come to realize that we are not alone. The lie satan has been telling you that you are the only one who is dealing with this is – is a bold faced lie.

Don’t Believe Lies

Growing up it sounded like my mom was saying bald faced. Like lies that didn’t have facial hair were worse than lies with beards. But she was probably saying bold faced. It’s bold but it’s still a lie. And maybe the worst kind of lie.

Have you noticed how believable the lies are that are said with so much confidence? Satan, the evil genius prince, is bold and deceptive like that.

When are we most vulnerable to believe lies? Isn’t it when we are sick, already down, or feeling troubled? He piles on the guilt when we are most vulnerable. When the truth is God says, in Christ, we are free of condemnation.

Peace Through Reconciliation

John 15 we learn that The Holy Spirit convicts us when we sin to convince us that sin will hurt our relationship with God and it is His kind intention to be in close fellowship with us. The purpose of conviction is always restoration. Restoring a right relationship, a right standing with God. Satan has already been condemned. He was brought to trial and sentenced when Jesus Christ conquered death with His resurrection. God is allowing satan to rule for a time, but that will end when Christ returns. Satan knows this. He wants to keep the world under his blind control so they come to a faulty conclusion about who Christ is and what His sacrificed accomplished – which is perfect peace through reconciliation with a Holy God.

Is the Comforter Better Than Jesus?

And if that were not enough, Jesus promised to send His Spirit when He left this earth. They had been living with Jesus for 3 years thinking a military coup was on the horizon. How could the Comforter coming be better than Jesus living with them every day?

Let’s think about that for a minute.

Jesus is God incarnate. He’s the Son of Man. As a man, He could only be in one place at a time. The Holy Spirit comes to indwell every believer at the point of their salvation. The disciples could have anticipated this because the prophets spoke about it in the Old Testament.

A New Heart and a New Spirit

In Ezekiel we see visions from God that he recorded. In chapters 36 and 37, he prophesies the coming of the Holy Spirit. It’s not like the Holy Spirit hasn’t been around. He was involved at creation and He came upon Old Testament believers for particular purposes. But this coming of the Holy Spirit Ezekiel is prophesying about here is that He will come and indwell the believer and stay there. It was going to be something new, part of the New Covenant.

God will do a washing that will include a new heart and a new spirit. He will remove our stubborn, self-willed heart and replace it with a pliable and responsive heart that can receive His Spirit – Who will make it possible to walk according to God’s Way as He breathes life in us. Until then we are nothing but dead dry bones in need of resuscitation. When the Holy Breath of God is breathed into our spirit by His Holy Word we come ALIVE! The Breath is the Spirit. They are the same Hebrew word – Ruakh. My pastor said you have to use the back of your throat. He breathes/ ruakhs on the dead and brings them back to life to never die again.

Prophecy Fulfilled

This prophecy Ezekiel spoke of was about to be fulfilled. That’s why Jesus had to leave them. Before the Spirit could come to indwell them, Jesus had to pay the debt for all sin. When He said, “It is finished,” what He was saying was all that the Father sent His suffering Servant to do had been accomplished. He bowed His head and gave up His last breath as a man.

Then when He conquered death with His resurrection, His Spirit would come and breathe on them the breath of life.

The life giving Spirit still speaks Truth to our spirit to testify to us who Jesus is and what He did. And we still struggle to believe it.

Get It Right

Why can’t we get the Holy Spirit right?

It seems we either elevate Him to a position of authority the Father never intended or we devalue His role as not that significant.

I don’t really care for denominations. There are not going to be denominations in heaven because we will all have perfect understanding and will be able to agree and get along. But I have been going to a Baptist church all of my life. And if any group of believers undervalues the role of the Holy Spirit, it’s the Baptists. I’m one of you. And I am telling you I don’t want to live like that anymore.

I want to better understand the role and function of the Holy Spirit. I want to sense His presence in the powerful way Ezekiel prophesied about thousands of years ago.

Do you know who is happy when we undervalue the role of the Holy Spirit? When we don’t believe the Truth, when we don’t speak that Truth in Love to a dying world?

Satan knows the Truth but he sure doesn’t want the world to know it. He is going down and he wants to take everyone down with him. And if he can make even Christians who have the Spirit of Christ living inside of them – if he can make them doubt God is Who He says He is, then he considers that a victory. Because then he knows we will be an ineffective witness for Christ. That our testimony will be unreliable.

Healings and Dancing, Oh My

I know some of you are thinking, “yeah but if we start emphasizing the role of the Holy Spirit, you know what that will lead to? There could be singing and shouting and playing loud instruments and healings! …and maybe even some dancing! Sh sh sh. Don’t say that too loud.

I will grant you God gave some gifts of the Spirit to start His Church that may have ceased as it became evident the Gospel was the Message of God. And as that message spread, it was written down under inspiration of the Holy Spirit.

But we don’t need to act like all of the gifts of the Spirit have ceased. Miracles still happen. Healing still happens. And if the Spirit is moving and leading me to raise my hands in worship, well, that’s between me and God. Because my worship is for an audience of one. The price Jesus paid was my debt. The wrath of God poured out on Him as He was nailed to a cross was because of me. And I don’t ever want to get over it.

I don’t ever want to get over it. He conquered death so that we could live. Isn’t that worth a shout of Hallelujah! Or at least a dignified Baptist Amen !

Approaching a Holy God

Why do we feel comfortable shouting at the ball field, but not in the presence of God?

I understand holy reverence. If you are a child of God, then your body is His temple.

As I read through the Old Testament, there was much consideration given to every detail of the temple and especially the Holy of Holies. The High Priest could only enter once a year, after much sacrifice. And He better be prayed up because if he entered the presence of God in an unworthy manner, he would drop dead and be pulled out by a rope tied to his ankle.

So how are we now able to approach God’s Throne of Amazing Grace with confidence? One word. Jesus. We are back to what Jesus accomplished on the cross. His perfect sacrifice that atoned for all sin ended the need to go to the temple to offer sacrifices that would not last. When He sent His Spirit to indwell us, our bodies became His temple. We are in His presence all of the time. That should make us stop and think about what we are shouting.

Holy Hallelujah

I am really just preaching to myself here. I’m just glad you are willing to come alongside me for the ride.

I started this section by asking why we feel comfortable shouting at sporting events but not in church.

I am not always a good fan and I probably put too much emphasis on sports. I grew up in Ohio. Go Bucks! So if I can hoop and holler and give high fives on Saturday, why is it not acceptable on Sunday? If the Holy Spirit is indeed indwelling me, living inside of me, He’s there on Saturday and Sunday and every day that ends in Y. Can I get an Amen? Or even better, How about a Holy Hallelujah!

Jesus Loves Naughty Girls Too

Okay I am going to think about wrapping this up. Sometimes when I say that -it’s like me saying, “Hey Babe I’m going to bed”… and then I have about 15 more things to do before I actually get there so Eric beats me and is all hunkered in, hogging the covers before I can get there. Which at this stage of my life is actually okay.

But this time I just have one more little nugget to tease out for today.

Jesus in His resurrected body appeared to Mary Magdalene first. Don’t you just love that?

Before Mary Magdalene starting following Jesus, she was a considered a naughty girl. That gives hope to all of us naughty girls.

Remember how satan wants us to believe the lie that we are condemned, as if the sacrifice of Jesus was not enough?

Well, our girl Mary Magdalene was not having any part of that. Her sin with its condemnation was left in the past where it belonged when she started following Jesus. She was sold out before the Holy Spirit even came to permanently indwell believers. She spared no expense in her worship of her Lord. I think that is why Jesus appeared to her first. And she got to be the one to tell the disciples, who were now her brothers, that Jesus would be ascending to our Father.

Peace Be With You

They didn’t all believe she really saw Jesus. He had to go through locked doors (and don’t you wonder if Thomas was thinking, “Hey… how did He get in here. I thought we locked the doors -as if the King of kings can’t get through locked doors.)

Then Jesus said, “Peace be with you.” But some were still not sure. So He showed them the evidence of His nailed scared hands and side. And then…they were filled with joy and delight. So He said again, “ Peace be with you.”

This peace Jesus is giving…is not the absence of conflict. It’s better. It is a tranquility of mind arising from reconciliation with God. A sense of divine favor and every kind of good. The kind of blessing we have in Christ alone.

And He said, “As the Father has sent me, even so, I am sending you.” Then He breathes on them and says, “Receive the Holy Breath of Life, the Holy Spirit.”

My ESV Study Bible says this is just a foretaste of what was about to come. Jesus is going to hang out with them in His resurrected body for 40 days and appear to about 500 people. Then He will ascend to heaven, and they will go back to the upper room to pray while they wait for the Holy Spirit. They don’t know the Holy Spirit is about to rain down like tongues of fire !

But alas, we will save that for another day. Thanks for joining me. I pray you take courage for your journey until next time as we continue to learn how to lean into the Holy Spirit and listen to His voice. He whispers and sometimes shouts the Words of Life.

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Let Not Your Hearts Be Troubled

Tue, 30 Sep 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://courage.wkul.com/feed.xml

Take Heart, I Am Not Leaving You Alone 

Last time I told you I wanted to use my podcast to talk about things that matter. What matters to me is hope and healing. Biblical Hope is not making a wish and blowing out birthday candles. It is a sure expectation that what God promised will happen. That He can be trusted to be absolutely who He says He is. My most profound healing occurs when I look to the future with a grateful heart.  

And that is what Jesus was encouraging His disciples to do in John 14 right after He told them He was leaving.  He said, “I am going to be leaving you but take heart I am not leaving you alone. The Comforter is coming. I am asking the Father and He will send Him at my request.” So let not your hearts be troubled .

Jesus is Coming in a Two-Part Series 

When Jesus rode into town on a donkey to shouts of Hosanna, Hosanna, Hosanna, the disciples were poised and ready to reign with the long-awaited Messiah. They were thinking, “This is going to great. Jesus is the long-awaited Messiah and He has come to take over the world.” This would be a military battle they were sure to win. And when the Roman government knelt before the King of kings, they would be by His side to rule with Him.   

It’s as if they had no idea there would be two comings. Aren’t there Old Testament passages that should have clued them in that Jesus’ coming is a two-part series? They were ready for the 2 ^nd coming. But Jesus is telling them first things first. A debt had to be settled. God’s wrath over sin had to be satisfied. And in this first coming, God would pour His wrath on His own Son. Jesus Christ paid the debt for all sins as the perfect sacrificial Lamb of God.  

What do I Turn to When I am Distressed? 

Jesus had just told the disciples His departure was imminent and that has them confused and agitated. Jesus has been with them for 3 years and they are ready for the conquering hero to finally emerge. 

That makes me stop and question, “What do I typically turn to when I am agitated, when I hear distressing news I have no control over?” 

Let’s see, some Chocolate -always. Dove darks are my favorite. Shopping -because of course I need another shirt on clearance. If I am really feeling bad, I go to shoes or coats. Cute shoes and a good jacket really make me feel better about myself. Binge watching shows or my favorite YouTube channels may come next. Also, I have recently discovered Instagram reels – hilarious! And I likely would get together and talk with friends, let them help me hash it out, tell me it’s not my fault, and I deserve to indulge myself. 

None of these are bad in moderation. God gives us gifts to enjoy. But the problem is the feeling I get from them doesn’t last.  

My Different Personas Fight 

I have a nighttime persona and a morning persona. Does your nighttime person think differently than your morning person? Nighttime Julie that talks me into binge watching is a liar. But I don’t remember this at night when I think it’s such a great idea to stay up late because I don’t really need that much sleep . And then morning comes, and morning Julie is cursing nighttime Julie, asking why would you believe her? She is a liar. 

Even the words of encouragement from friends is limited if it’s not based on a foundation of Truth. I am all for getting together and talking things out with a friend. But if we never get around to something of substance based on Truth that the Holy Spirit can use to instill real courage, it won’t last. 

Jesus Points Us to Heaven  

When Jesus told His disciples He would be leaving them, the Truth He wants them to hold on to, the Truth that will provide real Hope so their hearts will not be troubled is this:  if they trust Him, they can be assured He is going to take care of them. He is right now preparing a place for His brothers and sisters in His Father’s House. He tells them He will come back to get them because He wants them to be with Him in heaven. Then after He is resurrected, He no longer calls them friend, He says you’re my brothers. And to the women with them -you’re my sisters. We have the same Father. And it is His kind intention to bring the Family to live together in His Father’s House that has many rooms. 

When the disciples’ hearts were troubled, Jesus pointed them to heaven and the beautiful place He was preparing for them!  

A Glimpse of Heaven 

Set Your Mind Above 

As I have studied what heaven will be like, I agree with Randy Alcorn when he said in his book, Heaven, the starting point will be like the Garden of Eden before sin messed it up. God said it was good in Genesis. And then throughout the Bible and into Revelation we see pictures of how He intends to expand on that. Streets of gold, pearly gates, rivers, gardens. This is a physical place that really isn’t all that hard to imagine. We will be who we were made to be in Christ – the best versions of ourselves here are just a glimpse of who we can be without sin. All our creativity and giftedness used for God’s Glory. We won’t be messing up our relationships with petty jealousy or selfishness. We will feast together and sing and dance but also have satisfying work to do and lands to explore. Every tongue and tribe with all kinds of diversity – each using the gifts God gave us to bring Him glory. Concerts with all kinds of instruments and sports with the best competition for the love of the game. Try to imagine it. And then set your mind on it. As you do, you will see God gives us glimpses of heaven every day. What His Kingdom will look like when He brings Heaven down and to redeem the earth. 

  Do I Believe Nothing Could Be Better? 

Every morning, I sit on my back porch and wait for the sun to rise. It’s as if God is making His face to shine upon me. And I say thank you God for coming and meeting with me. Even on the cloudy days, He breaks through the darkness with His glorious light. 

So why would I ever think anything here on this earth could be better than heaven?  

Everyone wants to go to heaven, but I have noticed no one is in a hurry to get there. Well, almost no one. When my father-in-law – we called him Pops- was ready to go Home to Heaven, he was frustrated that it was taking too long, and he motioned for us to get this show on the road. “I’m ready,” he said. 

Sure enough, after a short time, he raised his hands with the little strength he had, and peace washed over his countenance as he breathed his last breath. His time of death was 3:46 pm. That’s 15:46 military time. 

A Time of Significance 

It didn’t take long for the significance of the time of death to jolt Eric and me in awestruck wonder. Or son Nicholas’s personal record for a 5K when he was 16 years old was 15:46. That was what he ran his last race before he died. He had broken the school record with that time. We assumed he would have many more opportunities to break it again and again. Only he didn’t. That would be his last. Many of his friends and teammates had tattooed that time on their bodies in memory of him. 

Now for us, the time took on a different significance. It was as if God was saying Pops died at His appointed time. He had finished the race, and our Nicholas was there at the finish line to greet him. He may have said something like “Hey Pops, I’m glad you’re here. I think you’re going to like it. Now let’s go see Jesus.  He wants to give you a hug, just like He did me.”  

Heaven Sounds Great, But It Can Wait 

I think if we are honest, most of us do not want to go to heaven until we see our goals and plans fulfilled for ourselves and our children and our children’s children. We have decided 80 something is just about the right age to be called Home. And when it does not work out that way, we are so flustered. As if the Sovereign Ruler of the universe got it wrong when He said He numbered our days. 

God knows grieving is hard. He knows what He is asking us to endure. But as Christians we do not grieve as those who have no hope. The Glory that awaits is worth far more than anything God asks us to suffer here. Nothing here compares.  

Why Are We Sad for Those in Heaven? 

There is no need to be sad for the person who has eternal life and whose soul and spirit are immediately ushered into the presence of the Lord when they shed their earthly body. 

They are not dead. Let’s stop saying that. Death is separation from God. If we know someone is a true believer, when they leave this earth they are more alive than they have ever been. They just crossed the finish line to immediately join the great cloud of witnesses that are cheering the rest of us on. We who are left behind grieve deeply. But hope is available to those who have the courage to learn how to live until we can join them on the road to eternity. 

It’s A Lot to Take In 

Jesus told His disciples they knew the way. And when Thomas questioned how they were supposed to know the way, Jesus said, “I am the Way, and I am the Truth, and I am the Life. And no one gets to the Father in Heaven except by going through me. Then He told His disciples that if they loved Him, they would rejoice that He was going to His Father in Heaven.  

So, shouldn’t we rejoice when one of God’s children goes to heaven? 

This is a lot to take in. And Jesus knows it was for them too. He promises He will not leave them as orphans. They will not be desolate and feel helpless because when He leaves, He will send His Spirit to comfort and help them. The Holy Spirit will make everything plain and will energize their heart and mind.  

This is a lot to take in. And Jesus knows it was for them too. He promises He will not leave them as orphans. They will not be desolate and feel helpless because when He leaves, He will send His Spirit to comfort and help them. The Holy Spirit will make everything plain and will energize their heart and mind.  

Jesus can leave them in peace because He is making a right relationship with a holy God possible. The peace He is giving to them is not the absence of conflict. It is the kind of fulness and blessing that dissolves fear and secures composure in the midst of trials. It rules in the hearts of God’s people to maintain harmony.  

Why Do We Continue to Be Troubled?  

Jesus said stop it. Stop it. We do not have to permit ourselves to be intimidated by fear and anxiety. I know that is saying a lot. Medication and therapy can be helpful tools. But if we ignore our spirit, we will never be whole.  

Jesus began His Priestley ministry by asking the Father to send the Comforter. We have access to the Holy Spirit living in us. And it is His job to comfort and guide and help us remember God’s faithfulness as He gives us peace. Jesus spoke these things to His disciples while He was still with them to calm their fears and encourage them to remember this when they are asked to do hard things.   

And that’s a word for us today. Let not your hearts be troubled. We are not going to be asked to do hard things forever. May we be encouraged to look forward to the glorious day when we Jesus will come for the 2 ^nd time. And this time, at His return, we will reign and rule with Him and for all eternity.   

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Introduction to Courage for the Journey

Tue, 23 Sep 2025 09:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

https://courage.wkul.com/feed.xml

Welcome to the first episode of “Courage for the Journey.”

Today, I am using my blog and email newsletter to introduce my podcast. It is my hope that you will find strength and encouragement here. My journey began with journaling and sharing my experiences on Facebook, which eventually led to writing a book titled “Courage to Live: Learning to Live Again After Loss.” While doing the audiobook, I discovered I could possibly get into a Podcast – with a little help from my friends at WKUL.

Podcast Purpose

This podcast aims to create a conversational atmosphere, like two friends chatting over coffee, but with a focus on deeper topics such as hope and healing. I will emphasize the importance of not being stuck in the past but instead finding hope and healing through faith in Christ. My most profound healing has come from looking to the future and having a sure expectation that God’s promises will come true.

Faith and Healing

My faith is a significant part of my healing journey, but it requires courage. Courage is my faith in action. I was angry at God for not saving my son, but I couldn’t stay angry. Even though He did not save my son physically on this earth, He gave His Son so my son could have eternal life. He wasn’t asking me to do anything He wasn’t willing to do Himself.

Present Healing

I thought I had been healed of anger but it kept coming back. For 12 years. Then one day, I realized God had healed me. I am not sure when it happened exactly, but in June of this year, I knew God had performed a miracle my heart, replacing my anger with a motivation to speak truth in love.

Speaking Truth in Love

I feel God’s pleasure when I speak truth motivated by love. I acknowledge that it is not always easy, but it is always good. By coming alongside others with love, I believe God can instill real courage.

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New Podcast Coming in September

Tue, 12 Aug 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Dear Readers,

I am taking a short break to work on a new podcast. I will update you when we get closer to its launch in September.

Thank you for your support and encouragement.

Love and prayers continue until we meet again.

Sincerely,

Julie

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Finding Peace in “What IS” Certain

Tue, 05 Aug 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Dear Readers,

Sunlit Stories has been fun and enlightening! Thank you for engaging with these guest writers. We are closing out this series with Part 2 in coping with anxiety by finding peace in “What IS” certain in the life of a Believer. Please welcome back Dr. Joe Johnson!

Reviewing the Role of What If in Anxiety

About 6 weeks ago I wrote here about the almost-universal nature of anxiety, something that everyone deals with sooner or later, to one degree or another. Rare is the day when I don’t see someone in my family practice who is dealing with it now or in the past. And that anxiety lives in the world of “ what if…?” 

What if this happens? What if THAT happens? What if ______ doesn’t happen?

Biblical Insights to Help Find Peace in What IS Certain

The Abundant Life is Not Bogged Down with Worry

God knows that we deal with worry and anxiety, living as sinners in a sinful world where bad and difficult things can and do happen. How can we minimize, manage, and deal with those anxieties? Being bogged down and burdened with worry and anxiety doesn’t seem like the “abundant life” Jesus said that He came to give us ( John 10:10 ).

Repel Worry and Gain Peace

God always provides, and He does so for us in His Word in this area as well. Paul’s letter to the Philippians, chapter 4 in particular has some very practical, concrete ways for us to repel anxiety and gain some real peace -that is countering uncertainty with what is CERTAIN…minimizing the unknown with what is KNOWN. Or put another way, weakening the “what if?“ with “What IS…”

Why Worry When You Can Pray?

“Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank Him for all He has done.   Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” ( Philippians 4:6-7 New Living Translation)

Reverse the Order of Our Norm

In my life, too often I try to do everything I can, try to account and plan for all the possible “what ifs,” and when I have exhausted myself and my own ability to prepare and deal with things, THEN I may remember to pray and literally lay it all at God’s feet. We should do just the reverse order of that.

The Power of Gratitude

An important part of that is “thank Him for all He has done”…this intentional act starts the process of focusing on what is known – what we KNOW and remember He has done for us and others in the past – to crowd out, minimize and distract us from what is UNKNOWN and unknowable. Then Paul expands on that in verses 8-9.

The God of Peace Will Be With You

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things. The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” ( Philippians 4:8-9 New American Standard Version)

Paul’s Example of Dealing with Uncertainties

Remember that Paul wrote these words while sitting in a dark and dank jail cell, with a very uncertain future ahead -execution was certainly on the list of “ what if…” possibilities. God had shown him through his years of ministry and travelling a secret to dealing with suffocating stress and uncertainties -by focusing on what IS good, and right, and pure, and lovely.

Practical Steps to Embrace What IS Certain

Distract and Refocus

If you have ever tried comforting a loved one grieving a loss, or even all the way down to a toddler having a fit, you have likely employed this method in helping someone deal with unpleasant scenarios and emotions -simply distracting and getting the focus off of the negative and on to something better. To dwell on the good and not the bad, dwell on the positive certain and not the uncertain. That’s a concept with biblical precedent. Paul seems to have learned this and is sharing it here -THEN “the God of peace will be with you.”

Replace Negatives with Positives

Crowd out the negatives with real positives and gratitude for what God has done for you in the past and promises to do in the future. His history shows that He is good to His promises. 

Paul knew that even if the worst “what if” was to happen to him, “to live is Christ and to die is gain,” ( Philippians 1:21 ) – the promise that he would then be with Christ.

Remember How Real Peace is Available

But to be honest and up front at this point, we have to remember that this kind of real, settled peace is only available and accessible if we have a relationship with God the Father, through the sacrificial life, death, and resurrection of His Son Jesus, who told His disciples in John 16:33 ,

He has paid the price and fulfilled the sentence that our sin demands, and that makes it possible for us to no longer be separated from a loving and holy Father and Creator. And to find whatever real peace is available in this life.

My Ultimate Certainty

For me, that is the ultimate certainty. The final “What is…” that defeats all the “what ifs.” Hallelujah!

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The Journey to Saying It Is Well with My Soul

Tue, 29 Jul 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Thank you for joining me this summer for Sunlit Stories . Today I am sharing my story of God’s faithfulness to heal me from anger that robbed my joy and peace. I don’t know if I am ready to say it is well with my soul completely, but I am on the way.

The struggle with Saying “It is Well with My Soul.”

Defining Soul and Spirit

In chapter three of my book, Courage to Live , I discuss the struggle I have with saying it is well with my soul. Then I justify a meltdown over the hymn with the same name. I define soul as the immaterial part of us that houses who we are as a person -namely our mind, emotion, and will. Sometimes it is well with my soul, sometimes it most assuredly is not. In the book, I make a distinction with our spirit that is the immaterial part of us through which the Holy Spirit testifies Truth that always makes us well.

The Influence of Music

A popular song by Mercy Me from 2017 entitled Even If has resonated with me for years, really ever since I learned the miracle of gratitude. It comes from Daniel 3:17-18 where Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego know God is able to deliver them from the fiery furnace, but even if He doesn’t, they will still refuse to bow to king Nebuchadnezzar. The lyrics include God’s ability to make my pain go away with just a word. But even if He doesn’t, my hope is still in Him alone. He’s been faithful and I will cling to Him come what may, asking for the strength to say it is well with my soul .

Wrestling with Anger Towards God

A lot of the struggle I had with saying it is well with my soul was my anger towards God. He could have physically saved my son. He had the power to do so, but He chose not to. I couldn’t understand why He wouldn’t want to keep someone like Nicholas on this earth. Nicholas was passionate about life and had a deep capacity to love. He claimed Jesus Christ as His Lord and Savior and stood up for what is right.

The Role of the Holy Spirit

As I wrestled with this anger, the Holy Spirit would inevitably and faithfully help me to conclude I could not stay angry with God who gave His Son to die so my son could live, not physically on this earth, but eternally in heaven. This life is a vapor. Eternity is forever. When I could think of nothing to be thankful for, the Holy Spirit would remind me I was indeed thankful for eternal life. To be honest, it wasn’t just because I would be with Jesus but also because I would see Nicholas again.

The Cycle of Anger and Healing

My anger would subside for a time. Then when I would hear of some miraculous healing or even a sermon on someone being revived from the dead, the struggle would begin to flare up. The Holy Spirit would again intervene and it would be well with my soul until the next time. If this sounds exhausting, it’s because it is. This cycle went on for nearly twelve years.

God’s Miraculous Revelation

The Struggle Had Subsided

On June 15, 2025, God showed me that He had healed me from my ongoing struggle with anger. My pastor was preaching a sermon from Luke 7:11-17 where Jesus showed His power and authority over death when He revived a widow’s son from the dead. This was normally the type of sermon with which I would struggle. Only this time, I didn’t. It was so surprising while I was sitting there in the pew coming to the realization that I wasn’t angry. I wasn’t struggling with anger at all. I was just rejoicing in the miracle that someone else’s son was revived and that God had performed His own miracle in me.

Sharing at the Nicholas Fillinger Memorial Run

I recently shared this revelation at the 12 ^th annual Nicholas Fillinger Memorial Run . It is my word of testimony that God is faithful and the healing journey continues. I had survived the worst that grief had thrown at me. I was choosing to be okay with living the rest of my life with the ongoing struggle as I learned how to live again after loss. But God, in His infinite grace and mercy, chose to continue to heal my soul.

My Faith was Tested

Embracing Joy and Peace

The very next day the sermon was again about Jesus’s authority over death. This time Jesus revived someone’s daughter. I felt like I was being tested. Would the struggle with anger recur or not? I am a little fearful of saying the struggle will never return, but I can testify today that it has not. I am filled with joy and peace, that anger previously tried to rob from me.

Moving Forward by Faith

I don’t know if I am ready to say it is well with my soul completely, but I am on the way.

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Leaving a Legacy of Blessing with Words

Tue, 22 Jul 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Dear Readers,

Please join me in welcoming back my sister, Robin Cook. She was such a hit the first time ( legacy part 1 ), I am excited she is willing to join us again with part 2 of leaving a legacy. This time, she encourages us with leaving a legacy of blessing with words.

The Legacy of Words and the Power of Blessing

I want to continue the theme of leaving a legacy with this blog post. In my last post, I used legacy in terms of the legacy left to me by my mother and my great-grandmother regarding prayer. This post covers the legacy of blessing others with my words. How can I use my words to bless those around me?

Reflecting on Blessing Others

In the past two weeks, I have heard the concept of blessing others in several contexts and situations. I found this interesting, and since I do not believe in coincidences, I am taking time to think about the idea of blessing others. I am looking at how I bless others with my words. I know I bless God as I pray. I frequently use the ACTS (Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication) model when praying. I want to praise my Heavenly Father. I desire to give Him glory and honor. I usually do this when I pray. But how do I use my words with the people He created in His image?

Biblical Insights on Words

The Power of the Tongue

I do not always maintain a legacy of using my words to bless others. I get angry with people and lash out. I do not always say nice things. I fail with my words. James 3: 8-10 says, “. . . but no one can tame the tongue. It is restless and evil, full of deadly poison. Sometimes it praises our Lord and Father, and sometimes it curses those who have been made in the image of God. And so blessing and cursing come pouring out of the same mouth. Surely, my brothers and sisters, this is not right!” ( NLT). I often do not bless with my words.

The Difference Between Blessing and Cursing

From this passage, I am reminded that I cannot use my words to praise God and curse humans. The Vine’s Complete Expository Dictionary defines the Greek word ( kataraomai ) used in James 3:9 as praying against or wishing evil against someone. I have no business invoking God’s judgment on anyone. If anything, I should pray for my enemies, bless them, and pray for mercy for the people who are in my life. How does blessing differ from cursing ?

Bless God and So Bless Others

Let’s look at how bless/blessing is used. Vine’s defines the Greek word ( eulogeo ) as “to speak well of, to praise, to celebrate with praise.” I see that this word is usually used for God, and it deals with acknowledging “His goodness, with a desire for His glory” (Vine’s). I should always bless the Lord. Revelation 5:12 teaches that blessing belongs to Him. But I need to remember something: Because I bless God, I should bless others.

Practical Steps to Bless with Words

Seeking God’s Help

When I read this passage, I am convicted by how I use my words. To be transparent, I struggle with my words. If I were living in an ancient Greek tragedy, my words would be my hamartia (my tragic flaw). I need God working in me so that my words do not hurt the people in my life; I need God to help me leave a legacy of blessing others with my words. So how do I go about redeeming my words so that I bless God and bless others?

The Role of the Holy Spirit

By myself, I can’t do this. I need God’s help through the power of the Holy Spirit working in me. The Spirit produces the fruit of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (from Galatians 5:22-23 ). If that fruit is evident in my life, my words will be used the right way. I will bless God and others. James 1:5 reminds the reader that God will generously give us wisdom if we ask for it, which ties to James 3:2 , which says, “. . . And if anyone does not offend in speech [never says the wrong things], he is a fully developed character and a perfect man, able to control his whole body and to curb his entire nature” ( AMP ). I desire to be wise, to live wisely, to use my words wisely.

Personal Experience with Encouraging Others

As I grow in my faith, I have learned the importance of using words to bless and encourage. My husband wants me to share an experience where I texted someone who was going through a struggle. I sent prayers to this person daily for over a year. It was a powerful experience of encouraging someone with the power of God’s Word. I learned words of blessing change lives. I also text my son a word of encouragement each day. I endeavor to use the words to bless all the people in my life.

Leaving a Legacy of Blessing

Ultimately I want to leave my son a legacy of blessing him, especially with my words. I pray for the people in my life to receive the blessing that I give to them. The challenge of blessing others resonates with me, and I am glad I have taken the time to ponder this idea. One way that I can bless is for my words to be “fitly spoken like apples of gold in settings of silver” ( Proverbs 25:11 AMP ). Appropriate word usage is the legacy I want to use to bless my son and to praise my Heavenly Father.

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Summer Memories: Assurance of God’s Faithfulness in Every Season of Life

Tue, 15 Jul 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Hello Readers,

I met today’s guest this spring through The Gospel Coalition’s writer’s cohort. She was in my breakout group. She took on the role of a seasoned teacher, balancing encouragement and constructive comment with ease. I was pleased when she said yes to Sunlit Stories . It is a joy to welcome my new friend, Marti Ahlman, as she reflects on the assurance of God’s faithfulness in every season of life.

Marti Ahlman is a Kansas native living in Hickory, North Carolina, the mother of six children, and grandmother of 10. Marti taught for 37 years, beginning in elementary grades. In 1983, she and husband Al pioneered homeschooling in Newton, Kansas. After a successful legal battle with the school board, they continued to educate their children until Marti began teaching high school English in Columbus, Georgia in 1998, retiring in 2016. A widow since 2011, Marti enjoys teaching Bible studies and connecting with younger women in the church, reading, painting with watercolor, writing, sewing, and grandparenting.

A Season of Memories

In the heart of summer, as the sun casts its golden glow, we are reminded of the simple joys and cherished memories that shape our lives. Each season brings unique experiences, yet through them all, we find the unwavering assurance of God’s faithfulness in every season of life.

Childhood Summers in Kansas

Crickets chirping and cicadas sawing. Playing tag around the yard, screaming with laughter until I swallow a fly. Brilliant starry skies. Lemonade. The scent of sunscreen. Pavement too hot for bare feet. A wet washcloth and a fan. The scent of freshly mown grass. Bagworms. Climbing to the top of the too-high slide to catch the fireworks in the distance. Sunday dinner at Grandma’s house. Homemade ice cream. Mulberry-stained feet. Collecting eggs from the hen house. Sleepovers with cousins on floor blankets. Cottonwood trees releasing clouds of fluffy seed pods. Each season in my home state of Kansas is distinct and fully developed. Winter – cold to very cold. Autumn – a blend of warm to chilly. Spring – turbulent weather melding to mellow. Summer – hot, windy, and full of childhood’s sensory memories.

The Simple Joys of Childhood

Several siblings and I sat outside in the backyard on a blanket with my parents. A lover of nature, Dad taught us weather signs, constellations, and appreciation of God’s beautiful world. Mother contributed popcorn and lemonade, tuning the radio to play quietly in the background, often humming to the tunes in harmony to Big Band music and Christian programming. One evening stands out as the news gave the results of the presidential election in 1953. Dwight D. Eisenhower, a son of our own state, won!

One bane of our summer was picking bagworms off the bushes in front of our house. Moth caterpillars created a bag made of detritus, stuck to the branches. We earned one penny per bag. They seemed to come each summer, so we at least had a little bit of personal money in a season of economic scarcity.

Life before air conditioning was challenging, but our resourceful mother conditioned the air with damp washcloths given to each child along with a fan pointed at the bed.

I loved the smell of fresh-cut grass. It reminded me of freshly cut watermelon, a delicious but rare treat which always involved a seed-spitting contest.

A Lesson Learned

One of my most powerful life lessons happened when Cousin Nan told us a neighboring farm to our grandparents was invaded by clumsy cows. They broke several watermelons, which were lying in the field going to waste. She urged us to claim some of them. My father refused. Unless we gained permission from the farmer, we could not take them. I was keenly disappointed, but the example of integrity has remained.

To Grandma’s House We Go: A Strong Foundation of Faith and Family

Visiting Cousins

Traveling the half hour to our grandparents’ home in Maize was a treat when cousins visited. Coleen, the eldest cousin, was a year older than I was, and Nancy a year younger. Uncle Richard was in the Air Force, so our visits were occasional but memorable. We created plays and gave out parts to the younger siblings. One outstanding vignette was enacting the song “Who Shot Liberty Valance?”

Grandma’s Standard Fare

Grandma’s summer fare was standard, gleaned from her hen house and garden, but succulent. Fried chicken (freshly killed, scalded, and plucked), corn on the cob dripping with butter, juicy sliced tomatoes, marinated cucumber slices, fresh green beans (which I often snapped beforehand), and often chocolate cake. Just thinking about it calls for a moment of silence to honor the memory. The well water needed to be iced or boiled to overcome the metallic taste of minerals. Generally, we drank iced tea for dinner.

Summer Birthdays

The grandparents celebrated birthdays in a way that fit the season. We summer kids got to choose the flavor of homemade ice cream, but we helped Grandpa make it. Grandma mixed up the cream, eggs, sugar, and fruit while Grandpa loaded the barrel with chunks of ice and rock salt. I sat on the burlap bag atop the bucket to hold it in place as he cranked the handle. Sometimes he needed a break, so I attempted to turn the handle. The closer we got to ice cream, the harder the turn. When it was impossible, my peach ice cream was ready!

Connecting Past and Present

The Impact of Cherished Memories

Although my youthful delight of summer has given way to an adult resistance to heat and humidity and less tree climbing, I look back with gratitude for that childhood season of freedom, exploration, laughter, family gatherings, fresh produce, all served with love and security.

The Assurance of God’s Faithfulness in Every Season

Ecclesiastes 3:1-2 states, “For everything there is a season, a time for every matter under heaven: a time to be born, and a time to die; a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted.” Just as my childhood was full of rich memories of summer, so my adult winter is full of the wealth of wisdom accumulated over many experiences and the assurance of God’s faithfulness in every season of life.

Instilling Summer Memories in Another Generation

Now as I contemplate another summer in my 70’s, I am the grandma ready to love and bless my own grandchildren, to instill summer memories in their souls. I bake “Grandma cookies” made with molasses and fragrant spices, take
them to the local hands-on science museum, fill the bird feeders, cook fig jam from my tree, play Apples to Apples, Pitch, and Chess, host a family reunion, and send water-colored cards and gifts. Whether I am called Grandma, Gommy, or Gaba, I pray they remember that I love them.

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Finding Beauty in the Ordinary: Reflections from Iceland to Alabama

Tue, 08 Jul 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Well Readers,

You are in for a real treat. Today’s guest was the very first friend I made in Alabama. At a time when I was desperately homesick, God gave me Denise. It was as if He was using her love and like-mindedness to say He sees me and knows what I need. I have always enjoyed her perspective on life and literature and today is no exception as we lean into find beauty in the ordinary. Please welcome Denise Burroughs!

Beauty in the Ordinary

In a world where we often seek out the extraordinary, it’s easy to overlook the simple, everyday moments that hold their own unique charm. My recent travels to Iceland left me in awe of its majestic beauty. However, upon returning to Alabama, I found myself reflecting on why my hometown seemed less captivating. This journey led me to a profound realization: there is immense beauty in the ordinary. Every corner of our world has its own story to tell, and it’s up to us to appreciate and find joy in these seemingly mundane moments.

Journey to Iceland

My daughter and I recently had the opportunity to travel to Iceland. So much beauty and majesty! There were wide open spaces for miles and miles (or kilometers and kilometers).

Majestic Landscapes and Natural Wonders

There were glaciers and snow-capped mountains alongside magma fields and geothermal hot springs. Sheep and Icelandic horses dotted the countryside. Black beaches and puffin colonies and humpback whales and quaint fishing villages beckoned throughout our journey. I was completely in awe of this little island and its wonders.

Reflections on Returning to Alabama

The closer we got to returning to the States, the more I longed to stay in the vast beauty and peaceful expanse of Iceland. I found myself pondering my little corner of the earth in North Alabama and speculating on why there is so much traffic and perpetual construction and hustle and bustle. I opined that my hometown just isn’t as breathtaking–but why?

The Beauty of God’s Creation

I considered the glorious creation of our Father. Job 12:7-9 proclaims “But ask the beasts, and they will teach you; the birds of the heavens, and they will tell you; or the bushes of the earth, and they will teach you; and the fish of the sea will declare to you. Who among all these does not know that the hand of the Lord has done this?”

This verse is incredibly potent when peering into a canyon from the top of a waterfall in Iceland, but is it equally relevant when sitting in my car in Alabama watching a graffitied train as I impatiently wait to cross the tracks?

Perspective and Patience in Everday Life

When I hear sermons or podcasts about perspective or patience, my initial reaction is often frustration or even disappointment because I am aware how I am supposed to respond to God’s word, but the realities of life often overwhelm my intellect. I already know what I should do; I long for the practicality of how to think differently. I find myself feeling even more discouraged and inadequate because of my inability to see past my circumstances like a “good” Christian should. I want a quick fix and I want answers. I want to be given a process to follow or action to take resulting in relief from upsets and hurt.

Then, the volume of guilt begins to slowly increase as my inner voice scolds me: “So many people are in much worse situations; I have a warm, dry place to sleep and plenty of food to eat; I have my health and our children are thriving, etc.” Now, I’m not only struggling with keeping a Godly perspective, but I feel guilty because I can’t.

Biblical Figures and Their Humanity

When we read the faith histories of Moses, David, Paul, or Esther, it is so easy to dismiss their ordinary humanity. They are famous biblical figures, but during their lives, they were merely human too. All of them no doubt had dozens of sleepless nights and moments of fear and insecurity and indecision. All of them experienced failure and pain along with triumph and happiness.

Finding Extraordinary in the Ordinary

Taking in My Surroundings with Fresh Eyes

Now, back to my initial question: Why can’t my life be as breathtaking as Iceland? What am I doing differently when visiting a new place? I am taking in all the surroundings with fresh eyes. While my daughter and I were relaxed and enamored, the Icelandic natives were going to work or doctor’s appointments or shearing sheep or fixing fences. The landscapes are extraordinary for us but ordinary for them. We so often take our “ordinary” for granted just because we have become numb to it.

What would Icelanders think seeing white sand beaches or azaleas or pecan trees or summer rain showers gliding in on the lake? What amazement would they experience at the sights and sounds of a high school football game in the crisp fall air. How would they react to the unending supply of produce and one-stop shopping in Wal-Mart? (Yes, even Wal-Mart can be a blessing at times.)

God is in Control of All Creation

The glorious creation of God is noted from Genesis “And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good” ( 1:31 ) to Revelation “Worthy are you, our Lord and God…for you created all things, and by your will they existed and were created” ( 4:11 ). What I take for granted is an amazement or answered prayer to someone else, and whether in Iceland or the United States, God is in control of it all.

Only Stand and Wait

When I feel misunderstood or lost in my loneliness and pain, I have to remind myself of a sonnet written by my unequivocally favorite author, the 17th Century Christian poet John Milton (cue eye rolls from hundreds of my former senior English students). Milton went completely blind in his early forties and was struggling to find purpose in the loss of his sight. He writes a poem aptly referenced “ On His Blindness ” which ends with the following:

Milton’s echo through hundreds of years reminds me that even when I feel stagnant and forgotten, my waiting on God is an active state. Simply standing still against forces that are trying to pull me down takes God-given strength and stamina. If a strong wind is blowing against me and I am facing into it, as long as I am standing, I am not falling or getting blown away. Although not my first choice, sometimes it is enough just to look up at the beauty of God’s creation and “stand and wait.” 

And God saw everything that he had made, and behold, it was very good.
Genesis 1:31 ESV

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Overcoming Intrusive Thoughts: A Journey of Faith over Anxiety

Tue, 01 Jul 2025 09:15:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Dear Friends,

I met today’s guest when she was a young mother searching for biblical answers. She couldn’t get enough. I had to admit I didn’t know everything and limited her to 5 questions a week. It didn’t take long for me to love her as the little Sister she is.

She shares her struggle today from a heart of vulnerability. I know you will be as blessed as I am. Please join me in welcoming Katie McGee!

The Battle Against Intrusive Thoughts

Vivid Memories

I have a pathetic memory, yet I vividly remember an obscure scene from many years ago when I was vacationing with my entire family at the Beach Club Resort in Gulf Shores. I believe we were staying on the 12th floor. My aunt and I were standing in the living room, looking out to the balcony, when I saw her whole body shudder for only an instant— no one else noticed, just me. I asked her about it and she responded, “Nothing, nothing, I was just thinking something…it was nothing. I don’t want to say it out loud.”

Personal Experience

I knew what she was thinking. She was thinking, what if I just jumped over the balcony? I knew this because I was thinking it, too. I had already imagined what it might look like for my children to fall. I had also imagined the massive building crumbling down on us. I wasn’t trying to imagine these disgusting pictures; they simply appeared out of nowhere, just long enough to invoke some anxiety.

My Struggle Continues

That was almost twenty years ago, yet fast forward to last week, and I have the same mental pictures—maybe even worse now. I went to Pensacola and stayed on the 11th floor and could hardly sleep because I was worrying that my 21-year-old son would jump off the balcony, not fall, jump! Do normal people have these thoughts? Who is actually going to throw themselves or their loved ones off a balcony on a family vacation? This is not an isolated incident. In fact, during the same trip, my son had also driven ahead of me on this trip, so I was also able to begin the vacation fighting images of arriving upon a car accident so horrific I will not write it here. These are the types of intrusive thoughts I have dealt with my entire life: sudden, unwanted, disturbing images that seem to come from nowhere, causing a sickening worry and anxiety.

Understanding Intrusive Thoughts

Intrusive thoughts can involve thoughts you fear you will do, but in my case, it is what I fear will happen to me . They go hand-in-hand with anxiety disorders, which, according to some statistics , affect 1 in 3 people. Of course, these are people who have been diagnosed . I am sure it is more than 1 in 3 who suffer from anxiety. Think about your friends and family. How many would you describe as worriers? How many of those you wouldn’t describe as worriers drink alcohol or take those CBD gummies? My point is that even those I know who don’t think of themselves as “worriers” are often medicating themselves in other ways. Everyone seems to have anxiety to some degree.

The Impact of Technology on Anxiety

Life is a lot. There are terrible, horrible, terrifying things that can happen to you and your loved ones. I know. My algorithm has shown me all of it on TikTok! No wonder suicide is one of the leading causes of death. We are not meant to know every catastrophe happening in the world, but we do, thanks to our phones. I once asked a psychiatrist why it seemed like everyone I worked with (including myself) took anxiety medication. She did not even look up from her computer, but kept typing as she said, “I think it’s that technology is going too fast for our brains to handle. Everyone is overstimulated.” Overstimulated! That is what I am and have been since I was a child, experiencing an out-of-body dissociation attack during my trick-or-treating fun. No wonder I battle intrusive thoughts. Now the question is, how do I battle them?

Faith in Jesus Christ as the Answer

The Sunday School Answer is Correct

The answer to that question can only be faith in Jesus Christ. In reality, there is no other way. I know it is the “Sunday School answer,” and it is way easier said than done, but it is the truth, nonetheless.

The Blessing of Intrusive Thoughts

We are at God’s mercy. We have no control. All we can do is pray for His grace and protection.. And that is exactly why intrusive thoughts can actually be a blessing. There is a short story by Flannery O’Connor called “ A Good Man Is Hard to Find.” ( The story makes me think O’Connor also experienced intrusive thoughts; it’s pretty dark. ) But there is a great line when a murderous criminal describes the self-righteous grandmother: “She would of been a good woman,” The Misfit said, “if it had been somebody there to shoot her every minute of her life.” Perspective is everything. When we are faced with our mortality, we see what matters and what doesn’t matter here on Earth. Therefore, viewing intrusive thoughts and anxiety as things that occur for an eternal purpose can be helpful in the battle. A long time ago, my brother asked me what it was like to constantly have anxious thoughts, and I told him that it was the “thorn in my side.” Paul pleaded with the Lord to remove his thorn, but at the same time, he knew its ability to bless him:

We See Our Need for Jesus

I am convinced this is why God allows many of us to suffer with anxiety and intrusive thoughts. His power is made perfect because we can see how fragile we are. We see our intense need for Jesus Christ. As tormenting as they can be, intrusive thoughts can help us maintain an eternal mindset.

Practicing Faith to Overcome Anxiety

Telling an anxious person to “just have faith in God” is easier said than done. Sometimes being told that can even feel offensive, so I want to add to it by saying, “Try to practice having faith.” When the fear hits, pray for faith and deliverance in the moment, and in between those moments, arm yourself with prayer and God’s Word. Practice meditating on certain truths. The Bible tells us to focus on an eternal perspective: “If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth” ( Colossians 3:1-2 ).

Finding Peace Through Faith

One of the most prominent verses I memorized was Philippians 4:6-7 . He may not remove the thorn, but He will provide peace and will eventually deliver us from the suffering. In the meantime, we can only cry out to Him for deliverance, thank Him for who He is, and practice trusting that He is who He says He is.

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“What If…?” – Navigating Anxiety and Uncertainty in the “What ifs” of Life

Tue, 24 Jun 2025 09:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

The Ubiquity of Anxiety

Is there anyone out there who has not dealt with anxiety in some form or fashion over their life? If so, you can stop reading now.

Anxiety seems to be a given, ubiquitous in the human experience – maybe chronic and severe, maybe just seasonal or episodic. In my practice of family medicine I see patients every week dealing with this…

The “What if…?” Mindset

Anxiety lives in the world of “What if…?“ What if this happens, what if that happens, what if I can’t handle it…”what if…?”

For better or worse, I am prone to contemplating the “what ifs” in life. That may serve me well in my job, as it helps me consider what a patient may be dealing with…”what if ______ is causing their symptoms?” The hardest diagnosis to treat is one you don’t consider. 

Likewise the hardest situations to deal with in life are situations we are not prepared for…in my job, prevention of problems is much better than fixing them, and one way to do that is to anticipate all possibilities.  I tend to carry that over to my own life and try to contemplate and be prepared for any and all things that could happen.

We are NOT in control

Unfortunately, that isn’t possible…we can’t possibly foresee all things that could happen, nor were we created to shoulder that kind of load. We cannot, indeed should not, know all the things in the hidden will of God for our lives and our loved ones. It would simply be too much.  

My pastor once said that anxiety occurs when we realize that we are NOT in control of what happens in our own lives, and the things around us. When we realize that, and realize we can’t even anticipate the possibilities, and we can’t prepare for a problem we can’t anticipate, it’s very easy to spin out mentally, and ask, “What if…..?”

My Personal Experience

In  June of 2022, I noticed a knot on the right side of my neck.  Doctors and nurses tend to make difficult patients because we think of the worst possibilities first. Naturally, cancer was my immediate concern. “What if this is cancer? If it is, what kind?” The mind races… “what if, what if….?”

 Five months and several tests later, I was diagnosed with squamous cell carcinoma in my right tonsil and 3-4 positive nodes in the right side of my neck. The week before Thanksgiving 2022, I had my tonsils and lymph nodes on the right side of my neck removed. The day after Christmas, I started head and neck radiation 5 days a week for 6 weeks. Thankfully, no chemotherapy was required.

After surgery, I was not as concerned about dying from this, but the side effects, weight loss, pain, and discomfort from 6 weeks of radiation to my throat and neck were considerable and significant. While I was told they would improve some after treatment, there was no way to predict how much better or how long it would take. “What if…they didn’t?”

Dealing With Anxiety God’s Way

I Realized Anxiety was Counterproductive

Now two years later, all scans remain clear and most of the side effects from radiation and surgery have been resolved. God has shown me much, including ways to deal with the anxieties and “what if’s” of life. I was reminded of the wisdom of Jesus’ words in Matthew 6 when he said ”Can you add a single cubit to the span of your life by worrying?”.  The short answer  is “no” – but anxiety and worry can literally shorten the length of our lives and decrease the quality of it. Reasonable planning is one thing but worry and anxiety are counterproductive.

I Let God Manage What was Outside of My Control

I also experienced something the apostle James talked about in James 5, “Yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring—what your life will be! For you are like vapor that appears for a little while, then vanishes. Instead, you should say, ‘If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.’” Focus on today, and what is in front of you this day. Jesus also reminds us, “Each day has enough trouble of its own.” Don’t get caught looking too far ahead. Too many things are beyond our control there, and 98% of those things never happen. Let God manage those things.

Now I Worship Differently

I also experienced God’s promises and presence in a way that would not have been possible without the cancer…worship is different when you feel broken. God knows anxiety is part of living in a fallen creation, and as a loving Father, promises to be there and to go with us and comfort us and experience Him in ways that we can’t in good times. Do a search on “God’s promises about anxiety.” Spend more time with Him, in whatever form that may take.

Holding God’s Promises Close

“What if…we knew those promises and held them close to our hearts and minds when anxieties crash in? “What if…?”

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Legacy of a Praying Mother

Tue, 17 Jun 2025 09:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

L egacy of a Praying Mother

Legacies are important. With the idea of leaving a legacy in mind, I find myself wondering what kind of spiritual legacy will I leave my son. I hope it’s the legacy my mother left to me – a legacy of prayer. 

If I am honest, I do not always live up to the legacy that I have been left. I struggle to maintain an in depth prayer life that worships my Heavenly Father, acknowledges His goodness, petitions for others and supplicates for myself. Yet, I invest in studying Scripture and praying daily. I want God’s will, but I often want my will to be God’s will. I have to accept His answer whether it be “no,” “wait,” or “yes.”

Leaning Patiently on the Lord

Some of the most powerful times of my life have occurred when I have to wait upon the Lord, to rest in His presence. Psalm 37:7a in the Amplified Bible reads, “Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him …” 

I want to focus on “patiently lean.” This phrase requires that I intentionally engage. As I ponder my prayers, the times when I have grown the most, have depended totally on God, are when I leaned patiently on Him. 

I leaned patiently on the Lord, when I kept asking, kept seeking, and kept knocking ( Matthew 7:7 ). Like Hannah and Elizabeth in the Bible, I prayed for a baby (25 years). I experienced God’s provision and goodness as I waited and waited and waited, as I leaned and leaned and leaned on God. I continued to pray and lean. When Hannah says, “I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord” I Samuel 1:16 NIV , I lived this. I poured out my heart to the Lord, thus continuing my legacy. 

My Journey to Motherhood

Heartaches and Breaks

Here is my story to motherhood. A few months after I married, I learned that my husband and I were going to have a baby. I was beyond excited because I thought I was too old for pregnancy. Then I miscarried at eleven weeks and experienced heartbreak. I did not get pregnant again.

Fast forward three years, circumstances put us in the path of a woman who did not think she could keep her child, so she chose us to adopt her son. I was in the delivery room when this precious baby boy was born. I cut the cord and felt bound to him with an unbreakable bond. I named him “Jack” after my daddy. I could not wait to take him home. Except, we did not take Jack home. The birth mother changed her mind and we were left devastated. 

Accepting God’s No

But God is good. Even though He allowed “no” to happen, He was with us. I also learned that I could pray for someone that I would likely never see again. I pray for Jack each day and have done so for almost sixteen years. The bond is not broken.

I enacted my legacy as I kept praying. By that time, I had moved into Elizabeth territory when it came to becoming a mother. I prayed for Jack, and I prayed for a child of my own. When I went into baby stores, I prayed. When I attended the baby showers, I prayed. I arrived at the point that I was not going to pray for a child any longer. God had told us “no,” and I would accept His answer. 

But God Says Yes

One morning, as I was getting ready for work, I told God this was the last time I would ask for a child. I would accept any answer to my request. The same afternoon my husband received a call that there was a baby boy who needed a home. Like Zechariah and Elizabeth in Luke 1:13 “ [our] prayer had been heard.” God finally said “yes” to my twenty-five year prayer. 

Rejoice, Pray, and Give Thanks

Throughout my journey to motherhood, I learned to live I Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks” (ESV). My husband taught me prayer is ultimately placing myself under God’s authority. It is submitting to God’s will each time I pray. If you asked me when I was a young woman praying for a child would I prefer to wait twenty-five years, I would have said “NO!” But I learned to rejoice, pray, and give thanks even when I could not see the answer. 

Leaving a Legacy of Prayer

Legacies are important. I leaned patiently on the Lord and learned what Hannah meant when she received her son, for this child I prayed, and the Lord has given me what I have asked of Him (from I Samuel 1:27 ). I prayed for my son, and I still pray for him. I hope to leave a legacy of prayer to my son that my mother left to me. 

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Lean on Me: Lessons from the Life of David

Tue, 10 Jun 2025 09:45:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

God Calls Us to Lean on Him

I’ve been studying the life of David. When we were kids, the conquests of David made for great VBS adventures. In reality, David reached a pinnacle early in life only to see it stripped away. God took away those things that we too rely on for security and stability in our lives. None of us likes loss. Each of us loses something that is near and dear to us at some point in our lives. We each handle that loss differently. As we see what David lost (and gained), we see God calling us to “ Lean on Me.”

David’s Life of Triumph and Personal Struggle

On those hillsides of Bethlehem as a young man watching over sheep, God developed David’s courage and his servant’s heart. When David faced Goliath, he trusted that the God of the army of Israel would deliver them from their enemies, including Goliath. I’m sure that David had some fear, but his fear was overcome by courage because he fully trusted God.

At this point, Saul had been rejected as king of Israel because of his disobedience and careless attitude toward God’s commands. Once he was rejected as king, the Holy Spirit departed him. This left Saul to his natural flesh, and his natural flesh was an angry, impetuous man. When the armies returned from defeating Goliath and the Philistines, the women sang the praises of Saul, but greater praises for David. This enraged Saul, and he sought to eliminate the threat to his throne and the threat to his pride and renown.

David had been promised Saul’s daughter, Michal, as a reward for defeating Goliath, but seizing on an opportunity to eliminate David, Saul told him the dowry would be the foreskin of 100 Philistines. Saul thought for sure that David would die trying. But he didn’t!

David’s success against Goliath vaulted him to an elevated place in Saul‘s army. Saul sent them out to battle against the Philistines further hoping for his demise. However, God was with David and gave him success.

All the while David continued in his role as musician for Saul. When Saul was tormented by an evil spirit, David was summonsed to play for him and it would calm him. However, it wasn’t long before this no longer soothed Saul’s soul, but instead further enraged and maddened him. One day while David was playing Saul picked up a spear and threw it at him, but David slipped away never again to return.

Just a short time after David’s success with Goliath, he was taken from his shepherding duties. Not long after that, he had to relinquish his military position because of Saul’s threats on his life. Even his wife, Michal, betrayed him. She allowed David to escape, but when Saul inquired as to why she dealt so treacherously with him, she replied that David threatened to kill her if she didn’t help him escape. This further enraged Saul.

David turns to his best friend Jonathan. Even though as Saul’s son, Jonathan would have been heir to the throne, he was noble and truly sought the best for David and helped him. As Saul‘s anger towards David grew and festered, they both knew they had to separate. As David went into hiding, he wondered if he would ever see his best friend again. In his desperation, David turned to none other than the Philistines for protection. However, they were very fearful of David and David resorted to feigning mental illness.

Trusting God in Difficult Times

David goes through a very difficult time in his life. He embarks on a 13 year struggle to stay one step ahead of death. He had lost his job (shepherd and musician), his position (army commander), and his wife. And except for the vagabonds that joined him, he is also friendless. God removed those things from his life to help David trust Him even more deeply and with even greater faith. Through all this, David never lost his courage or his faith.

Likewise, in our lives, sometimes we wonder why God takes something from us. Something as good as a spouse, a job, a position, a friend, our health, or a child. God uses those losses to draw us to Himself and to teach us to rely even more fully on Him. He calls us to Lean on Him!

This is courage – trusting God even when we can’t see. I know He is there and that He protects me and provides for me. As I read many of the Psalms that were written in this dark period of David’s life, I see him praise God for his salvation and his deliverance.

It is my prayer as you and I face difficult, even gut wrenching circumstances and significant losses, we trust our Heavenly Father is good and He is always there providing salvation and protection and provision.

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Sunlit Stories: Guest Writers’ Summer Sentiments

Tue, 03 Jun 2025 09:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Hello readers!

I am excited to announce the launch of a new summer series called  Sunlit Stories: Guest Writers’ Summer Sentiments . This series is a special collection of reflections from guest authors. I introduce them below with their biography and picture. They will be sharing their heart from impactful or humorous experiences and readings. Each story is a unique glimpse into moments of their lives that offer inspiration and insight.

Every Tuesday throughout the summer, a guest writer will be featured. Posts will be available on my website, sent out via my email newsletter, and shared on my Facebook page. These stories will not only entertain but also provide encouragement and opportunity for reflection.

Please join me to engage in these inspiring stories that promise to brighten our summer days.

Stay tuned and happy reading!

With my sincere love,

julie fillinger

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Paul’s Final Words to the Galatians: A Heartfelt Closing

Tue, 27 May 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

P. S. Closing Words with Emphasis.

Have you ever received an email where you felt like the Post Script had some of the best information? P. S. Maybe I could have started with this little nugget, but then you may have marked the email TLDR! (Hey Mom, that stands for Too Long Didn’t Read and is likely not something you would ever consider).

Paul is bringing his letter to the Galatians to a close while carefully emphasizing the importance of what he has written. He likely dictated the letter to a scribe but is writing this P. S. at the end of chapter 6 with his own hand. He is writing it in a bold font to say understanding this is key to understanding the whole letter. That makes me chuckle. I feel like he could have started with this.

1. Christianity is a matter of the heart.

Jewish leaders couldn’t keep the whole law themselves but they expected the Gentile Galatian converts to so they could boast that they recruited them. They wanted to make an outward showing of circumcision much like we do baptism today. Baptism is supposed to be the outward picture of an inward change of heart. One way to show what’s in our heart is what we are willing to suffer for what we believe. The reason these Jewish leaders wanted to make a big show was to avoid persecution. They cared more about personal safety than Christ.

2. You can preach about God, just don’t talk too much about the crucifixion.

There are not that many atheists in the world. I have never had anyone get mad at me for telling them I am praying for them. Over time, I start talking about what Christ did for me. I share how He paid the debt I owed because I couldn’t. In doing so, He became the curse and died the death I deserved. If their pride is wounded, they don’t want to hear anymore. They resent the humiliation. They want me to keep praying for them because they think it’s beneficial that I am in good with God, but they communicate I can keep the message of the cross to myself. Only I can’t.

3. Boasting in the cross is where true freedom lives.

The only thing Paul had to boast about was the cross. Everything the world had to offer had been crucified. The desires and attractions in this life were dead to him. This set him free from the idolatry of trying to please others, trying to fit in to the life they dictated. Living in this kind of freedom opened his eyes to what was really important.

4. What’s the heart of the matter?

What was of central importance then and now is the birth of the Spirit. Because of His Son’s work on the cross, God created new life, one that comes with a new nature. This miracle happens when the Holy Spirit regenerates our heart and then indwells us as the very temple of God. He will guide us in God’s very words to tell us how to live our lives. Living free with the enjoyment of peace and mercy starts at that very moment and continues throughout all eternity. This is true for all of God’s chosen people, His Bride, the Church.

Grace begins and ends the letter.

Before Paul actually closes, like a post post script, he doesn’t want to be questioned anymore about whether or not he has the right to address these matters in the church God used him to start. He bears the marks to prove his authority. Wounds and scars are the outward evidence of the persecution he bore and testify of Christ’s ownership of him.

Then he ends this letter to his beloved brothers and sisters at the church in Galatia much as he began, with spiritual favor and blessing. The Gospel of Grace is far superior to anything we could possibly come up with to be declared right before a Holy God. It is freely given to all who call on Jesus Christ as their Lord.

Paul has not given up on them and neither has Jesus.

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Sowing Good Seed: Principles to Reap Your Best Harvest

Tue, 20 May 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Principles of Sowing and Reaping

One of my favorite pleasures of summer is eating a vine ripened tomato. With a little salt and mayo on toasted sour dough, it’s the best. Time and effort to plant, water, and nurture are necessary for that tomato to grow. So tasty, it’s worth the wait.

Galatians has been teaching us about the freedom we have in Christ. As we continue in our reflections of learning how to live free, we come to Galatians 6:6-10 where Paul uses the farming principles of sowing and reaping to make his points.

In farming, the kind of harvest we reap is determined by the kind of seed we sow. What we sow, we will reap.

Nature – Are we sowing the right seed?

Quality – Are we sowing good seed?

Quantity – Are we sowing enough seed?

Examples from our Christian Walk

These principles of sowing and reaping apply spiritually as well. John Stott says the guiding principle is in verse 7. If we sow one kind of spiritual seed, we can’t expect to reap another. If we sow thoughtlessly or selfishly, we can’t expect a good harvest. We may fool ourselves into thinking otherwise, but no one fools God. ¹ Stott goes on to say we can see examples of this principle in our Christian Walk.

Christian Ministry – seed of God’s Word (verse 6)

If someone who is mature is training us so that we also understand how to live out God’s Word, we should share all the blessings we have experienced, spiritual and material, with the ones training us. In this way we experience the sweet fellowship and partnership in a common life together.

In our churches this is seen in how we give generously so our pastors can focus on studying, praying, and teaching as their vocation. The pastor is sowing God’s Word and reaping a livelihood.

Christian Holiness – seed of our thoughts and deeds (verse 8)

If you recall, we discussed the battleground of the flesh and spirit at war with one another in Galatians 5:16-25 . If we want to reap fruit of the Spirit, we will sow seed in that field. This battle is largely waged in our minds which leads to how we behave.

If we don’t want to reap decay and ruin, then we must develop disciplined habits of prayer, bible reading, and worship that influence the company we keep and how we spend our time. We keep on keeping on doing this until we are completely mature.

Christian Well-doing – seed of good works (verses 9-10)

Our problem is we are too impatient. We want to sow and reap in the same day, like starting a diet today and seeing weight loss tomorrow. When the truth is, we may not see the results of our planting good seed on this side of heaven. It becomes hard to persevere. We get fatigued and wonder if it is worth it.

We must dispel lies with Truth. If we don’t lose heart while trying to do what is right, we will reap a good crop come harvest time. We receive some encouragement now in the form of spiritual blessings. Every time we can benefit someone’s spiritual good, we take the opportunity, starting with those in our community of faith. In this way, we encourage one another to not give up too soon.

Conclusion – Harvest a Crop for Eternity

What would happen if we lived like we believed everything we do here to advance God’s Kingdom will reap eternal benefit at the glorious return of King Jesus? None of our hurts, disappointments, or efforts are wasted. Everything we do here for God’s glory shows up in New Heaven New Earth. All the seed sown now prepares us to reign and rule effectively in the Kingdom to come. We can taste the fruit the Spirit is growing to encourage us to persevere. Living with this renewed perspective makes the full harvest to come is that much sweeter.

John R. W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way. Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1968.

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Am I My Brother’s Keeper? A Christian Perspective on Bearing Burdens

Tue, 13 May 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Am I my brother’s keeper?

Despite Cain’s attitude of indifference after murdering his brother, the answer for Christians is yes ( Genesis 4:9 ). Yes, I am my brother’s keeper. How Christians treat each other is a testimony to the world of what it looks like to be a member in the family of God. They know we are Christians by our love. A good example of this is when we bear one another’s burdens, illustrating what it means to live a life of love, walking in the Spirit

1. We all have burdens but we shouldn’t have to carry them alone.

These are extra heavy loads that require endurance to carry. Sharing the load is the supreme imitation of Jesus’ teaching on loving our neighbor. ² But we have to know about them in order to help carry the burden. We must not give in to pride that tells us not to bother others with the burden. That’s a sure way to be overtaken by it. Instead, seek out a Christian friend or two and ask them to help. They can pray, be a listening ear, and help hold you accountable. A triple cord is not easily broken ( Ecc 4:12 ), meaning 3 of you bound together is stronger than you by yourself. The very act of crying out for help requires humility and begins the miracle of relief that will follow.

2. An example of burden bearing .

Is there anyone among us who hasn’t been caught in a transgression? If we are hiding God’s Word in our heart and plugged in to His Spirit’s Power, this shouldn’t happen. Sometimes as we reflect on former days, we find ourselves flirting with sin. We plug into the memories that make our flesh feel good, forgetting the consequences, and then we give in to it. The Holy Spirit immediately convicts us, and if we confess right then, it’s over. If we continue on and keep giving in to it, justifying the sin, defending it, it becomes habitual to the point of controlling and overtaking us.

What should we do? Restore.

Before it even gets to this point, there should be loving Christian brothers and sisters in our life who care enough to tell us this is wrong and we need to stop it. In this way, we restore them, setting them right like how a broken bone is repaired or a net is mended.

How should we restore? In a spirit of meekness.

If you recall from last week, we defined the fruit of the Spirit.

Meekness – an inwrought grace of the soul that accepts God’s dealings with us as good and therefore does not dispute or resist; a balance born in strength of character that demonstrates gentleness, not in weakness, but in power.

In this situation it is being angry at the sin without being critical, speaking gentle words of Truth, asking the Holy Spirit to use it to convict the heart of the hearer.

Who does the restoring? Those who are spiritual.

There’s an assumption that the one doing the restoring is living and walking by the Spirit themselves. That doesn’t mean they think they have it all together spiritually. It means they watch over their own troublesome moral faults with continual diligence so they are are not also tempted, knowing they will need forgiveness someday, too.

3. Declining to bear other’s burdens

When you think you are somebody who is too important to condescend to help your neighbor carry his burden, you are delusional. Your estimation of yourself is exaggerated. A wrong opinion of ourselves leads to either competing with others to show our superiority or being envious because we feel inferior. ² Instead, examine yourself. The joy of doing the work you have been given with excellence is more satisfying than comparing yourself with your neighbor. Your neighbor is struggling with a heavy burden that you should be helping with. Meanwhile you think you are something just for doing the reasonable amount of work you have been given.

Hearing Well Done!

We will all give an account some day of how we did with what we were given and what we did to help others along the way. I want to hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your Master” ( Matt 25:23 ).

The ESV® Study Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

John R. W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way . Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1968.

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Cultivating Spiritual Fruit: Understanding the Holy Spirit’s Role

Tue, 06 May 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Welcome to the Orchard

As I continue reflections in Galatians and learning how to live free, I want to hang out in the orchard another week to reflect on the fruit of the Spirit. This fruit can seem mysterious. How it appears is largely confusing because we do not have a good grasp on the role of the Holy Spirit. We seem out of balance in our estimation of Him. We have difficulty believing in something we can’t see. In my experience, it seems those that elevate God’s truth over His love devalue the role of the Spirit. Those that elevate God’s love over His truth raise the Spirit to a position God never intended. Once we understand His role, we can then navigate how the Holy Spirit works and the fruit He grows resulting in a lasting Kingdom impact.

The Role of the Holy Spirit

John 14-16 has a lot to say about life in an orchard. Jesus compares Himself to a vine and His followers as branches that need to stay connected to the vine. It also tells us the role of the Holy Spirit. Jesus told His disciples that it was good for Him to go so that the Helper could come (John 16:7). When He came, He would live in them to teach them everything they needed to know about Jesus and His Kingdom. He would also be their guide and provide comfort ( John 14:16-26 ).

Jesus is saying it is better to have the Holy Spirit in us to teach us God’s Word so that He can guide us through this world until the appointed time He will return and set up His Kingdom. Spirit power indwelling us is greater than Jesus physically walking alongside us on this present earth. This was mind blowing to the disciples when He said it and it is still hard to comprehend today. We have access to the very power of God and yet we do not value it. We treat it lightly. Or we just fail to understand how it works.

How the Holy Spirit Works

In the Old Testament, the Holy Spirit came and went as God directed for His purposes to point His people to the Messiah to come. In the New Covenant, the Holy Spirit took on a more personal role. Along with signs and miracles to confirm Christ’s teaching, He took up permanent residence in believers at the first Pentecost after Christ ascended to heaven ( Acts 2 ). Since then, He regenerates new life at the moment someone accepts Jesus Christ as Lord ( Titus 3:5 ). He then indwells the body of the believer as a temple of God ( 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ). We are dead to sin and no longer have to plug in to its power and raised to walk in this new life where we plug into Spirit Power.

Yielding is Active in Growing Spiritual Fruit

As we stay plugged in to the Spirit, He grows fruit. I tended to think that I needed to do something or try harder to get more of it. After studying Galatians, I think it is an action the Holy Spirit does to me as I yield to Him. The only thing I am doing is the yielding. It is hard to wrap my brain around yielding. It seems so passive, like I am not doing enough. In reality, it is very active but the Spirit is effecting the work done to me when I release control to Him. This requires faith. I have to trust the Spirit will do what He says as I lean in to Him and wait.

Planting, watering, and feeding all sound nurturing. However, the best way to grow more fruit is to be pruned, the more pruning the more fruit come harvest time. Because pruning hurts, it can feel like the Spirit has left me hacked and barren. But if I don’t give up to soon, a great harvest of spiritual fruit is the result. The cycles of the harvest that continue become my walk.

What Fruits Does the Spirit Grow?

The fruit the Spirit bears as I maintain disciplines in my walk with Him are worth the pain caused by pruning. John Stott says these Christian graces are attitudes toward God (love, joy, peace), man (patience, kindness, goodness), and self (faithfulness, meekness, self-control) that the work of the Spirit within accomplishes. ¹ It’s not as though the fruit is completely mature in one before the Spirit starts to plant the seed of another. The growth occurs at different rates as the cycles of harvest continue.

Below are definitions of the fruit listed in Galatians 5 using Zodhiates dictionary. ² There is no need for an external law to curb our behavior when we produces attitudes that please God. All of the fruit we bear here for God’s glory have impact in the Kingdom to come. Nothing is wasted. May that spur us on as we look forward to Christ’s return.

Love – affection, devotion, goodwill while sacrificially doing what is best for the recipient more than what they desire.

Joy – gladness of heart, exultation and exuberance of spirit regardless of circumstance because it’s based on eternal promises.

Peace – a state of tranquility and harmony arising from reconciliation with God and a sense of divine favor and every kind of good.

Patience – the ability to suffer long and forbear before proceeding to action; able to avenge oneself but refrains from doing so, choosing to endure the circumstance instead.

Kindness – a disposition of usefulness which pervades the whole nature, mellowing all that would be harsh.

Goodness – energized zeal for excellence manifested in active benevolence.

Faithfulness – persuasion based on being convicted of what is real resulting in a pledge of sincere character.

Meekness – an inwrought grace of the soul that accepts God’s dealings with us as good and therefore does not dispute or resist; a balance born in strength of character that demonstrates gentleness, not in weakness, but in power.

Self-control – contentedness resulting in temperate restraint of one’s desires.

Click the link to see more articles related to Live Free .

John R. W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way . Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1968.
Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary New Testament . Chattanooga: AMG International, 1993.
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Crucifying the Flesh: The Key to Living in Freedom

Tue, 29 Apr 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Freedom is in Christ but that liberty is easily lost

In Christ alone, we experience true freedom. We stand free from the curse of the law and its condemnation, but that liberty can be easily lost if we do not live habitually by walking in the Spirit. ¹ If we are motivated by God’s Spirit, we will not give in to the selfish demands of our flesh. This includes not only our physical lusts but also when sin tempts to corrupt our mind and emotions.

When we are saved, our bodies become a temple of God, where the Holy Spirit indwells and testifies truth and discernment to our spirit. This is our new nature. Before this, sin had control over us. We could not unplug ourselves from the source of its power. Once the Holy Spirit indwells us, He gives us the ability to unplug from the power of sin by choosing to plug into His power instead. We have access to the same dynamite that raised Jesus Christ from the dead. When we treat it like a fire cracker, we are overcome by the temptation to give in to the selfish desires with which we are already inclined to struggle. In essence, we are unplugging from Holy Spirit power and plugging into the power of the sinful desires of our flesh. We can’t be plugged into both of them at the same time; it’s one or the other.

You have access to resurrection power—will you plug into it?

There is a constant barrage from the evil enemy to tell us how okay it is to plug into sin’s power source for just a little while. These are lies from the enemy that want to douse the flame of the Holy Spirit and keep you ineffective for God’s Kingdom.

Plugging in to the Spirit’s power means unplugging to sin.

The way you habitually give in to your flesh is obvious and falls into the categories of sex, religion, human relationships, and misusing God’s gifts. ^2,3 It’s easy to glance at the list below in verses 19-21 and think I don’t practice those things. When upon closer reflection, you come to realize some of those are a struggle. If it is your practice to continually do these things, you show you are not actually God’s child and will not inherit His Kingdom.

Contrast the works of the flesh with the fruit of the Spirit in verses 22 and 23. This is the work His presence accomplishes in our attitudes toward God, man, and self. ¹ The Message says it like this, “when we live God’s way, He brings gifts into our lives the same way that fruit appears in an orchard.” ⁴ There is no law against these because no deterrent is needed when we yield power to the Spirit’s control. Who doesn’t want more love, joy, and peace?

The battle between flesh and Spirit is won when we choose to crucify the old nature.

The difference between giving in to the flesh or being controlled by the Spirit is our in willingness to crucify the flesh with all its passions and desires. If we truly belong to Christ, we will choose to do this. We may experience a desire to indulge in our flesh, but the desire won’t overtake us to the point that we keep giving in to its power. When we crucify the desire it will die a certain death.

Walking in line behind the Holy Spirit as our leader keeps us from thinking more highly of our self than we ought to. When we don’t, then we are likely to give in to feelings of superiority or inferiority. ¹ Feeling superior leads to a competitive challenge to demonstrate we are better. Feeling inferior leads to acting out in jealousy because someone has gifts we want for ourselves. Our conduct in each case exposes the opinion we have of ourselves when we do not keep in step with the Holy Spirit.

Leave our flesh nailed to the cross.

Liberty is easily lost. How can we stay plugged into the power of the Spirit when it is so easy to give into the flesh? Especially considering when we renounce the fleeting pleasure of sin, intense pain will follow as we struggle. John Stott says we must determine our flesh is not something to be treated with courtesy, but something that deserves no better fate than to be crucified. ¹

Stott goes on to say, if we do not leave our flesh nailed to the cross, it’s as if, having nailed our old nature to the cross, we keep returning to the scene of its execution. We are wistfully fondling, caressing, and longing for its release as we consider taking it down. We crucified our flesh at the moment of our conversion. Luke 9:23 instructs us to take up our cross and daily renew this decision. In order to maintain this attitude, we must leave it there to die and declare war with no room for negotiations. It’s settled at the cross and we are not going to draw out the nails.

When the tempter comes, round on him savagely and say, ‘I belong to Christ.’

Click the link to see more articles related to Live Free .

John R. W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way . Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1968.
John Macarthur, The Macarthur Study Bible . Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2006.
The ESV® Study Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group

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Rest for the Soul: Reflections on Travel Adventures, Taxes, and Spiritual Freedom

Tue, 15 Apr 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Our Journey of Adventure and Rest

From Boston Dreams to Cruise Realities

Vacations with Eric Fillinger are not physically restful but they are rejuvenating and full of adventure. I have been asking Eric to go to Boston for a number of years. This past Fall, Eric took time off and we were actually going to do it. When we started making our plans, we discovered flights were reasonable, but lodging, transportation, and anything we wanted to do was outrageous. We had the money, but it would bite into our savings. So we went on a cruise instead.

Unexpected Taxes

Our taxes this year were more than expected. Thankfully, Eric is prudent so we can use some of our savings to pay them. The same savings we didn’t use to go to Boston are now being used to pay the IRS. It kind of made us a little sick. After the initial shock wore off, we were able to be thankful for God’s provision. We realized that we are richer than most of the world and live like a king and queen in comparison.

Backpacking or Glamping for our 35 th Wedding Anniversary

Eric has always liked to go backpacking. This is different from hiking. It’s traversing dozens of miles up and down mountains with nothing but what he can carry on his back to some remote area that may or may not have cell service and definitely does not have running water other than a creek bed. After he sets up camp, he takes out this tiny “stove” that boils water and makes a fine delicacy with ramen and beef jerky. Then he gets in his tree tent to sleep so he can get back up the next morning before dawn to do it all over again. I have dropped him off and picked him up but have never gone with him. Given our new tax burden, I may have to start. This June is our 35 ^th wedding anniversary. It won’t be restful, but my momma says, “there’s no rest for the wicked and the righteous don’t need it.” I tell her I beg to differ. I feel certain if I go along, it will be more like glamping. Eric won’t know what he has gotten himself into. I can enjoy a good adventure, but I also want some rest!

A Better Kind of Yoke

As part of learning to Live Free , I have been using Galatians as our main text and supplementing with David Jeremiah’s study, The Path to Freedom . Jeremiah cross referenced last week’s study to take a deeper look at the yoke of bondage we saw in Galatians 5:1. This week we are going to pause to further reflect on this idea and the much better kind of yoke Jesus offers, one that leads to true rest.

A yoke is an apparatus that binds two things together. ¹ It’s used in farming to couple cattle or oxen. Figuratively, it’s an emblem of servitude. In Galatians, it denotes moral bondage to the Law of Moses, specifically circumcision. As you may recall, Paul isn’t against circumcision specifically. He is against any rule-keeping system as a means to salvation. When Christ died and paid the sacrifice for sin and then defeated death with His resurrection, He set us free from the curse of striving unsuccessfully to achieve acceptance with God through the yoke of the Law. Why would we want to go back to this slavery?

Being Yoked with Jesus Leads to True Rest

Jesus provides a different and much better kind of yoke, one that leads to true rest.

Jesus invites all who labor to fulfill the law and are heavy laden by its rules and restrictions to come Him. Be yoked to Him. Learn from the One who is gentle and humble because His yoke is easy and His burden is light. Then you will find a great gift, rest for your soul. This is not a physical rest, but something better. Sometimes we labor physically to the point of exhaustion and physical rest revives us. When you need soul rest, nothing revives you like Jesus through the power of His Spirit. He is offering inner tranquility in the heart and mind of those who make the better choice to come to Him. We can trust being yoked to Him as our Shepherd restores our soul.

Entering the Rest of the Lord

King David also wrote about entering the rest of the Lord. He uses the imagery of the LORD as his Shepherd:

God provides rest for this Warrior King by meeting his needs and providing peaceful places which revive his soul and return him to vitality. Then God leads him on the right path to direct his life. God does this because He is being true to His character. It’s Who He Is. When David is faced with danger and darkness, he need not fear. God is with him to lead and comfort with His protection. Even in the presence of his enemies, God’s showers David with blessings of goodness and mercy. David has hope of dwelling in God’s presence forever. Christ fulfills this hope and provides the ultimate Rest .

The Holy Spirit Will Take Care of the Rest

I will keep you posted on what Eric and I decide to do for vacation. In the meantime, I am asking myself what I need to do to experience God’s rest for my soul. What should I cut out of my schedule? Should I clean out a closet? How are my exercise and diet going? Am I getting enough sleep? Just as I am facing the realization I could use improvement in all of these areas, the Holy Spirit leans in and whispers, “come to Jesus, and I will take care of the Rest.”

Click the link to see more articles related to Live Free .

Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary New Testament. AMG International: Chattanooga, 1993.

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For Freedom’s Sake

Tue, 08 Apr 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

For freedom Christ set us free.

When I hear the word freedom, I think of the sacrifice paid so we can live without unwanted and unwarranted physical and moral encumbrances. Those brave men and women in uniform are willing to sacrifice their lives for me to enjoy the freedoms I have. That includes freedom to worship God. Not everyone in the world has the same freedom, so I don’t take it lightly. However, everyone in the world can have the freedom for which Christ sacrificed His life. This is a spiritual freedom that no political system can legislate or take away.

Don’t be bound by legalism.

When we were steeped in legalism and bound by a set of rules, Christ came and set us free. This means He completely liberated our conscience from the curse of striving unsuccessfully to achieve our own righteousness. Our acceptance with God and access to him is through Christ alone.

If we insist on rule-keeping as a means of salvation, we lose Christ. Instead, we must enjoy the freedom Christ brought us through forgiveness. May we never go back to the idea that we have to win over God by our own obedience. That’s a yoke of slavery that once held us ensnared. Now we have been freed from its curse.

Finish what was started.

Paul told the Galatians they had a good start. Then they were hindered from running the course they knew to be true. This evil detour was not from the God who invited them to freedom in Christ. False teachers perverted their faith and misled them by requiring circumcision as a necessary part of salvation. In the old covenant, circumcision had meaning because it was a physical symbol of a cleansed heart. Paul was not opposed to the act of circumcision. He was opposed to false teachers requiring it as a part of salvation and bolstering their claim by saying he was still preaching this same message. Since he was actively being persecuted, this was obviously not the case. He even went so far as to say, “if you are so obsessed with circumcision, why don’t you just go ahead and castrate yourself!”

True freedom is realized through the Holy Spirit.

These false teachers were so obsessed with not only circumcision, but also the whole covenant of the law, that they missed true freedom in Christ is realized through the Holy Spirit. The freedom we are called to enables us to have peace with God and approach Him without fear. Instead of using this freedom as an excuse to serve ourselves, the Holy Spirit living in us encourages us to serve one another with love, thus fulfilling the commandment to love your neighbor as yourself.

Paul has confidence in the Lord that those who are true believers will not be deceived for long. Through the Spirit, by faith, we eagerly wait for the hope of our glorification. This is the hope we have as believers in Christ that we are declared right before a Holy God. The Holy Spirit living in us confirms this to be true as we wait for Christ’s return. Those preaching a false religion will be devastated with eternal condemnation while God’s children live forever in Glory with Him. It is absolutely clear this is the freedom we were called to.

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No One Needs Two Wives

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 14:49:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

No one needs two wives

Eric and I were truly happy for the dozens of friends around us who seemed to be popping out babies left and right. But God, when was it going to be our turn? And what happened to our babies who died before we ever got to meet them? Did we do something wrong? Since we suffered the pain of loss twice before Nicholas was born, questions like this plagued us until we were safely able to have him. To say we were expectantly awaiting Nicholas’s arrival would be an understatement. So when he was born, I never put him down. Well-intentioned loved ones told me I was going to spoil him, but I did not care. I loved being a mom and I just wanted to hold him. All of the time.

However, even during the pain of miscarriage and wondering if I would ever be able to bear children, never once did I think maybe Eric should get him another wife . I cannot imagine Eric Fillinger having two wives. He doesn’t even know what to do with one half of the time!

Who’s your mother?

In today’s passage, it’s not about who’s your father, but who’s your mother. Paul continues to argue with the Galatians as he asks, “if you love the Law so much, why haven’t you paid close attention to what it really says?” Then he proceeds to give them a history lesson.

Did Abraham have two wives? He had two sons with two different women. Hagar was a slave and Sarah, his wife, was free. Waiting on God is hard. And we are tempted to take matters in our own hands. But c’mon Abraham? Even though your wife suggested that you should maybe try to have children with her maid, should you really have taken her up on it? It was up to you to say no my dear beautiful wife. I know you are hurting and wanting a child so badly, but this is not God’s way. This is not best. We will wait on God. I will still love you just as much, even if we have to wait another 15 years for the child God promised us. But that’s not what he did. And a soap opera ensued.

The son of Hagar is Ishmael. He had a natural birth through human connivance. ¹ The son of Sarah is Isaac. She and Abraham were so old, their bodies were as good as dead when she conceived. Even though they waited and waited and waited a very long time, this was so there was no doubt that the child was born through God’s miraculous work and was the fulfillment of His promise. ²

Two women, two covenants

Paul says the story of these two women can be interpreted allegorically in that they represent two covenants. Hagar represents Mount Sinai, where the Law was given. She bears children destined for slavery and corresponds to the present Jerusalem. Sarah represents the free Jerusalem above, which is the Messianic Kingdom of Christ. ² Then Paul quotes Isaiah who prophesies God’s judgment on Israel in exile and compares her to a barren woman deserted by her husband. This was partially fulfilled when Israel returned, but True Israel will be restored to that of a fruitful, spiritual mother in the growth of the Christian Church. ³

Christians, like Isaac, are children of promise and spiritual heirs of Abraham. Just as Ishmael despised and harassed Isaac, the same is true today. ⁴ Unbelievers who are born by natural birth according to the flesh will persecute those who are born according to the Spirit. We should expect this kind of treatment from those who preach a different gospel. But alas, we can also stand firm in the midst of it, because children born of the Spirit are free to receive an eternal inheritance from God to enjoy forever in His presence. Whereas, spiritually speaking, the slave woman’s children are in bondage to the flesh and will be cast out of God’s presence into utter darkness. ⁵

How did they get it so wrong?

What is so remarkable is how wrong these Jewish heretics were that preached salvation had to include continuing to keep the Law. They prided themselves in being descendants of Abraham. The promise of God’s Offspring to Abraham came before the Law. They may have been physical descendants but what matters for eternity are the spiritual descendants. Father Abraham had many sons. Many sons had Father Abraham. I am one of them, and so are you. So let’s just praise the Lord. Did you sing this song when you were a child? It’s only true if you are his spiritual children through the miraculous power of God’s promise.

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Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group

Amplified Bible. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation. Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

John R. W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way . Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1968.

Genesis 21:9,10

Matthew 8:12

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Give Them The Razzle Dazzle

Tue, 25 Mar 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Give them The Razzle Dazzle

Our son Drew is on a National Broadway Tour of the hit musical, Chicago . Eric and I have enjoyed getting to know the uber talented yet gracious cast and have seen it twice so far. In the musical, the story behind the story that strikes me is that the American public craves salacious journalism at almost any cost. The objects of their news stories will go to great lengths for a day in the spotlight. It has been around for a while, so I don’t think I am spoiling the plot when I tell you the lawyer in the story is a master at The Razzle Dazzle . There is even a song he sings to explain what this means. It’s a flashy display intended to confuse and deceive. He assures his client that he will present a theatrical defense, turning the murder trial into a show that will captivate the jury, thus making them forget about the truth and focus on the entertainment.  When he says, “how can they hear the truth above the roar,” what he is really saying is the noise and spectacle of the performance will drown out the truth, ensuring a favorable outcome. ¹  

Telling the Truth can make enemies

Paul has been a little harsh to the Galatians because he fears his work with them served no purpose. Now he tries a different approach and appeals to them based on pastoral affection. He begs them as brothers to be like him, free from the bondage of Jewish ritualism. ² Then he reminds them of how kind they were to him when he first came to them. Apparently Paul had some type of physical ailment that prevented him from continuing on his missionary journey for a time. That’s how he ended up preaching to them. His condition was grotesque and troublesome. But instead of regarding him with contempt, they chose to treat him like he was an angel sent from God, even as they would have treated Christ Jesus Himself. What happened to the blessed enjoyment and satisfaction that was once theirs because of what he taught them? He says some of them would have been willing to gouge out their own eyes and give them to him. That’s how deeply they once cared. And now he’s suddenly their enemy simply because he is telling them the Truth?

Has this ever happened to you? You see that someone you care about is being persuaded to believe something that is simply not true. And it could hurt them. Try as you might, you can’t get them to believe otherwise. Some part of them wants what they are hearing to be true. It makes their life easier, so they think. The people persuading them are false, but they are saying all of the right things to be very convincing. Or maybe you are the one believing the lies?

Here comes The Razzle Dazzle .

What happens when false teachers go to great lengths to flatter you so you forget about the truth? Instead they want you to focus on joining their club. It makes you feel so good that these spiritual leaders thought you were good enough to be included. But the only way to get in is to follow their rules. Their goal is for you to make them feel important by telling them how great they are. And if you don’t, you will be excluded. Once you get in, they pat you on the head and look down on you because you will never really be one of them. And then it seems too late. They convinced you that you so badly wanted to be included but once they let you in, you can only stay if you remember your place.

What if it’s not actually too late?

It’s good for someone to make much of you provided it is for a good purpose, one that is pure and seeks true goodness in your heart and life. You know, like Paul did when he was with the Galatians. That’s what he wants them to remember.

Paul says, you are still my little children. I feel like I am agonizing in childbirth over you because I long to see you mature completely in Christ. I feel like I am at my wits end. I wish I could be with you and convince you more gently in person that it’s not too late to give up membership in a club where you will never be satisfied and exchange it for a relationship with Christ who will free you to be all He made you to be. All for the Glory of God!

Pictured in the second photo is Eric and me on our back porch with Drew and the rest of the cast of the National Broadway Tour of the musical, Chicago !

Click the link to see more articles related to Live Free .

https://www.newyorktheatreguide.com/theatre-news/news/all-the-songs-in-chicago-on-broadway

Amplified Bible. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation. Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
Feature Photo by Hunters Race on Unsplash

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From Grief to Joy: The Gift of Adoption

Tue, 18 Mar 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

God’s Plan for Adoption

My nephew Carter was born 6 months after Nicholas died. Even though it was my sister and brother in law who adopted him, we love him like our own. At a time when we were helplessly wallowing in a pit of grief, it was as if God was giving us this gift as a reminder that there is life after death. He has been a healing balm to our hearts ever since.

I pick Carty up from school one day a week so we can have adventures. We shoot BB guns, throw rocks in the lake behind our house, catch baby frogs, and go on hikes when Eric can join us. This week he wanted to fish so we went to the Mary Carter Store to get his fishing poles all set up because I don’t actually know how to do this. We had a little success with live crickets as bait, but before I could take a picture, Carty dumped the bucket with the fish back in the lake. Next time, he wants to clean the fish we catch, cook them over a fire, and eat them. I don’t know how to do that either, but I guess we will learn together. Maybe we will wait until Eric is available.

Adoption is the act of bringing someone who is the offspring of another into one’s own family. ¹ Carter joining our family is a beautiful picture of how God confers sonship onto His children. By nature, we were not His offspring, but He adopted us as His children with all of the rights and privileges that come with being a part of His family. Our Heavenly Father teaches us what this means and is patient with us as we grow to learn what this entails.

Owner or slave?

Paul has been explaining that man was held captive under the Law until Christ came. Christ is the Offspring God promised to Abraham. If we are Christ’s, then we are Abraham’s spiritual offspring and joint heir according to this same promise.

Now Paul says as long as the heir is a child, he is no different from a slave. What Paul is trying to say is that the heir is the owner but no different from the slave while he is under age. He will inherit the whole estate but not until the time set by his father. Meanwhile, his father sets strict guardians and managers over him who could be quite harsh. In the same way as this, Jewish Christians were enslaved to the system of external observations and regulations bound by the rules of Hebrew ritual. ² They were heirs of the Promise which God made to Abraham but they hadn’t yet received the inheritance. ³ Remember, the Promise to Abraham came before the Law of Moses. The Law was necessary to reveal sin and show man his need for a Savior.

When the fullness of time had come…

But when the time set by God the Father came, He sent His Son and He sent His Spirit. These miraculous gifts to humanity came at the right moment in history. As soon as man sinned in the Garden of Eden, God told them they would have to leave, but He would make a way back. ⁴ Then he called out Abraham while he was living as a pagan and reiterated the promise to him. Now 1,300 years after the Law was given, it was finally time. ³

God sent His Son. He was fully God to be of infinite worth to atone for sin, and He was fully man so He could take upon Himself the penalty of sin. ⁵ He was born subject to the conditions of the Law but was the only One ever able to perfectly keep them. He did this so that those who were under the Law’s curse would be set free to receive adoption as children of God.

I have to pause here and let the full impact of what happened hit me. God willingly gave His Son to purchase my freedom because it was the only way I could be His adopted child and receive all of the inheritance that comes with being His heir. There is nothing I can do to be His child but believe and receive this gift by faith.

If that were not enough, God also sent His Spirit into our hearts to testify this Truth to us. The Spirit’s cry to our Papa, our Father, reaches into our spirits to confirm with a holy seal that we are indeed His children. ⁵ As such, we are no longer slaves but heirs with complete access to the inheritance God has for us. We will receive the full inheritance when Christ returns, but we receive it in part now by His Spirit living in us.

The appeal

Based on this, Paul makes an impassioned appeal to the Galatians who were once enslaved by either gods that didn’t exist or worse, demonic spirits. ⁶ He says they know God only because He first chose to know and understand them. Like Abraham, they and we were helpless and hopeless sinning enemies when God took the initiative to have a personal relationship with us. ⁷ So how can they now turn back to a worthless religion that intimidates them into following its traditions and superstitions but has no strength to free them? Paul fears the work done to save them served no purpose. It’s as if they are saying to God, “You made me your child and an heir, but I would rather be a slave.”

A word of caution

It’s a word of caution to you and me as well. If God adopted me as His child, then I need to act like it. Being an heir comes with responsibility, but it also comes with an inheritance. It is liberating to be empowered by the Holy Spirit to be who God made me to be. The same power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead is what I have access to, if only I will lean into it. There is nothing else like it. Why would I go back to being a slave to sin or in bondage to rule-keeping when I can live on a higher plain, one of love and service to my Father. It encourages me to spur one another on all the more until the Day my Brother Christ returns.

Click the link to see more articles related to Live Free .

Feature Photo by Isaac Quesada on Unsplash
John MacArthur, The MacArthur Study Bible . Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2006.
Amplified Bible. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation. Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
John R. W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way . Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1968.
Genesis 3:15
Ephesians 1:13
The ESV® Study Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Romans 5:6-11

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Let the Law send me to Christ

Tue, 11 Mar 2025 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Why am I still hung up on traffic laws?

I shared with you last week that I am not big on following rules and that I struggle with obeying traffic laws I don’t agree with. Once a month Eric goes to church before me and I need to drive myself. Even if I have plenty of time to get there, I find myself racing. And the Holy Spirit says, “girl, how are you going to have a pure heart to worship when you can’t even submit yourself to something simple like traffic laws.” I sometimes shoot up a quick prayer of confession after the fact like it’s really no big deal. Even writing this for all the world to see means accountability I don’t want. I have struggled with this my whole driving life. Maybe I don’t really want to stop.

But the Holy Spirit won’t leave me alone. Ugh. Even though it doesn’t initially feel like it, this is a good thing. I know it’s not up there with major crimes, but does disobeying traffic laws inhibit my ability to hear the voice of God? That’s really my only motivation to stop. I cannot live without hearing God’s voice through His Spirit. I enjoy living full of the Spirit and I am rather addicted to this life. But am I willing to say no to anything that hinders me from hearing His voice? Even if it seems like in my flesh it shouldn’t be that big of a deal. Does giving in to my desires and rationalizations keep me from living the rich, overflowing life of being full of the Holy Spirit?

Let the Law send me to Christ.

Until recently I operated under the assumption that because I am a New Testament believer, I do not need to subject myself to the Law of Moses. This includes all of the rules and rituals Old Testament believers needed to follow in order for a Holy God to be able to commune with them. It is true that because Christ set me free, I am not a slave to the Law. But studying the Law has value. Just as it did when it was written. The Law was put in place through angels to show man where he sinned. Its purpose was to make obvious we are out of right relationship with God and there is no religious system we could devise that would change that. ¹ It acted as a guardian or trainer, like the when you put up the bumper rails in the bowling alley so the ball doesn’t land in the gutter. It was to keep God’s people in line until Christ came. The Law always pointed to the need for a Savior. ² Satan would have you believe obeying the Law is how you prove yourselves holy, but if the Law could give eternal life, then Christ would not have had to come. ³

The Promise came before the Law

The covenant promise God made to Abraham that all the world would be blessed through his Offspring, came 430 years before the Law. In Galatians 3:15, Paul uses the example of a last will and testament to explain. ¹ When the will is confirmed by signatures, the promised inheritance will be given. Even if there is an addendum to the will, the addendum does not annul the promise contained in the will. The Law of Moses did not annul the Promise of a Messiah that God made to Abraham.

But neither are the Law and the Promise at odds with one another. They work in harmony as the Law confirms the need for the Promise and makes it indispensable. ³

As you picture the sin of all mankind, instead of giving life, the Law became a prison. Because no one could perfectly keep it, you were enslaved. God is not surprised. He had already planned and promised the Messiah’s arrival. The inheritance and blessing that comes through faith in Jesus Christ is given freely to those who believe. And sets them free from the prison of a rule keeping religion that cannot save.

Now that faith has come

When I was spiritually baptized into the union and communion of Christ Jesus, I put on the clothes of Christlikeness, holy conduct becoming of a child of God through faith and heir of love and devotion to Him. ⁴ I want to obey God’s righteous standards out of love not compulsion. This leads to an overwhelming sense of freedom. There is nothing I can do to no longer be God’s child. He loves me as much as He is ever going to, not because of anything I do, but because it’s His grace to do so. Instead of using that freedom to do whatever I want, like breaking traffic laws, I can choose to do what He wants. His Grace amazes me and I don’t want to get over it.

There is no distinction in God’s family

It should not have been surprising to the Jews that God’s promise through Abraham was also intended for the Gentiles. But it was, and the Jews looked down on the Gentiles. They were willing to somewhat accept them if they followed their rules, but God said there was no distinction in His family.

Old divisions and wrongful attitudes of superiority make me sick. Who am I to look down on someone else. We were both sinners damned to hell without hope when Christ died for us. Is one of us more wretched than the other? That hardly seems worth making a distinction over. Now we have a common relationship because of faith that brings us together in unity with Christ. Unity does not mean sameness. ⁵ There’s still beautiful diversity, but we are equal and without distinction in Christ.

Let true freedom ring

We end where we began. Let the Law send me to Christ. John Stott says, “we cannot come to Christ to be justified until we have first been to Moses to be condemned. But once we have gone to Moses, and acknowledged our sin, guilt, and condemnation, we must not stay there. We must let Moses send us to Christ.” ³

I am still trying to figure out why I equate following traffic laws with bondage. But I am persuaded freedom in Christ doesn’t mean I can do whatever I want. Christian freedom means God’s presence is dwelling in me in the form of His Spirit, empowering me to use the way He made me and the gifts He gave me for His Glory for all eternity. The fuller I am of His Spirit here and now, the more of His fruit I experience. This fullness overflows from me to be used for others. It’s a gradual process of growth that continues until the work is completed when Christ returns. Let true freedom ring!

Click the link to see more articles related to Live Free .

Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
The ESV® Study Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
John R. W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way . Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1968.
Amplified Bible. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation. Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
John Macarthur, The Macarthur Study Bible . Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2006.

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I am Cursed!

Tue, 04 Mar 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

I am cursed.

I am not a big rule follower. I like to know what the rules are so I can decide which ones I think are okay to break. This includes traffic laws. I used to enjoy speeding. Way before Danica Patrick, I thought I was meant to be a racecar driver. I loved to zip in and out of traffic, getting ahead of everyone as if to say, “see ya later, suckahs!” If you can picture this, you can also imagine I didn’t stop completely at stop signs and drove too closely to the car in front of me, not to mention thinking I was in a drag race with the car next to me at red lights. If you think this behavior was modified by the time I became a mother, you would be wrong. I did tone it down when children were in the car, but my own still experienced some of the thrill of riding with mom.

When Drew was 15 and starting to learn how to drive, I told him his dad was going to teach him how to drive. To which he replied, “Mom, 15 years of your modeling cannot be negated by 1 year of dad’s instruction.” Ouch! Eric had been modeling good driving, but it was true the boys rode with me most of the time. Which resulted in Drew driving like me, only better.

As I got older and less cute, I had to start paying consequences for this behavior. Traffic violations and increases in insurance premiums are costly. I have tried to curb my desire, but sometimes the racecar driver in me still comes out.

As hard as I try to be good, I cannot stop sinning by myself. Even when I want to, even when the pleasure of sin no longer satisfies, I cannot seem to help myself. It’s because by nature, I am cursed.

God is Holy.

Continuing in Galatians 3, God gave Abraham a promise. When he was a pagan sinner, God called him out and told him what he was going to do. Abraham did nothing. It was all God. Then because man couldn’t stop sinning, God gave them the Law summarized in the Ten Commandments through Moses. It was intended to show man how sinful he is and to put some boundaries around him so he would stop sinning. However, anyone who is not able to keep every aspect of the Law is cursed. ¹ That’s pretty much all of us. It should be evident that no one can stand before a Holy God by trying to keep the Law. It can’t be done. That’s why there was a need for a Savior.

Jesus became the curse.

Jesus Christ is that Savior that was first promised in the Garden of Eden after the first sin and was then reiterated to Abraham when God called him out. Christ purchased our freedom from being cursed and doomed to destruction by becoming the curse Himself!

“Cursed is everyone who is hanged on a tree and is crucified.” ²

My response.

I am completely undone by this act. God is holy. He can have nothing to do with sin. It is not just that He doesn’t want to have nothing to do with it. It’s that He can’t. He is not able to go against His own holy character. The problem we have is that we cannot stop sinning. But because God wanted to be in a relationship with us, in His love God gave His one and only Son to do what we couldn’t. The Son was submissive to His Father’s will to the point of completely absorbing the wrath of His Father because of sin. This satisfied God’s character but made His Son a curse. So at the very moment Jesus Christ was being crucified, not because of anything He did, but because of our sin, His Father had to turn His back on Him. No wonder Jesus cried out in an agonizing voice,

“My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” ³

Wow! This is both humbling and wholly gratifying at the same time. It leaves me in a puddle of tears that my Lord had to become a curse for me. But if He didn’t, I would still be trying to earn my way to God by keeping rules. If rule-keeping could evolve into living by faith, then Christ would not have had to die. ⁵ But He did die so I could live. I don’t ever want to get over it!

What now?

But wait, there’s more! In Christ, through faith alone, the blessing of justification promised to Abraham is threefold. ⁴

Forgiveness of sin
Coming of the Holy Spirit
Eternal Life

At one point in time, Christ’s death abolished the need to keep offering sacrifices because He was the perfect sacrifice. Since then, every person who believes by faith will receive the Holy Spirit the moment they are justified. The Holy Spirit then compels the believer to do good things, not because they are keeping rules, but out of love and out of a heart of devotion and gratitude for what it cost to purchase their freedom from the curse.

Our eternal life began the moment we believed and received. We get glimpses of heaven now as we wait for the complete fulfillment of the promise when Christ returns. Maranatha! Come Lord Jesus!

Click the link to see more articles related to Live Free .

The ESV® Study Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Deuteronomy 21:23 Amplified
Matthew 27:46
John R. W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way . Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1968
MSG Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

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Who Put a Hex on You?

Tue, 25 Feb 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Who Put a Hex on You?

Have you ever been duped into believing something, only to find out later it wasn’t true? Sometimes this happens and it is just a minor inconvenience or slight embarrassment. For example, a small financial investment that doesn’t pan out because what you were promised isn’t real. However, sometimes the consequences of being duped are huge, as if someone put a hex on you!

We are jumping back into Galatians this week in chapter 3. Paul is so outraged with the people of Galatia he calls them foolish. He is saying, “my dear idiots, don’t be so stupid.” ³ Then he asks who bewitched them, as if putting a hex on them. They clearly and graphically saw Jesus Christ portrayed as if they were seeing the crucifixion with their own eyes and then received the Holy Spirit as confirmation of their faith. ¹ If they received by faith the very presence of God in the form of His Spirit, Paul finds it ludicrously illogical for them to think for even a second they needed to start working their heads off to keep their faith. Only crazy people think they could complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. ² John Stott says this amounts to spiritual treason. ³

A Personal Example

If I am being honest, I am kind of like that? Even if I did not believe I had to do anything to earn my salvation, I still kind of thought I had to keep God’s good favor by doing good things. And if I did said good things, He owed me. If I was keeping up my part of the deal, God should bless me accordingly. That’s what satan does. He charms us with false promises as if casting a spell or putting a hex on us. You can probably guess when this erroneous notion came crashing down all around me.

I sometimes fear if I keep sharing my suffering it may communicate that I am not progressing in my grief journey. The truth is God has delivered me from the pit of despair, but the great loss is still the thing that has impacted me more than anything else. You can insert your own means of suffering here. We all have stories. This is mine.

When my beautiful firstborn child was taken away, I cried out to my Lord and my God, begging Him to let me keep him, begging Him for favor. I did everything right. I did not deserve this. I loved God. I obeyed Him. I served Him. I raised my children to do the same. I was the best wife, mother, nurse, daughter, sister, and friend I knew how to be. I gave God all the credit. I knew I was nothing without Him. My faith was strong….until it wasn’t. And maybe, I subconsciously thought God owed me something in exchange. And there’s the lie -that God owed me something in exchange for my good deeds and that He didn’t love me if He was willing to do something so painfully devastating.

God has been faithful to help me work through these lies and replace them with Truth. And that is what Paul is doing with the Galatians.

The OT example of Father Abraham.

Abraham is a central figure in God’s faith plan. Not because of anything Abraham did, but because of what God chose to do through him. In Genesis 12, we read that Abram (his name is Abram until chapter 17) is a pagan settler when God called him to leave his country and go to a land He would show him. God said He would make of him a great nation, and bless him, and make his name great…and through him all of the nations of the earth would be blessed. ⁴ As Abram shows a little faith through his obedience, God reveals a little more. This keeps happening for a few chapters, during which Abram gets it wrong a lot of the time. But then in Genesis 15:6, Abram believed God, and it (his faith) was counted to him as righteousness. God had been drawing Abram to Himself and at this point in time, the act of his belief was placed to his account as a credit that showed he was in right standing before God. ⁵

It is so important for Paul to show the Gentile Galatians that God had it all laid out beforehand. They do not have to be under satan’s hex of lies. It was God’s kind intention to raise up a nation through Abraham that would show all nations what it looked like to be blessed as children of God. It was always God’s plan for all nations to be a part of God’s faith family. Anyone who came to Him by faith would be justified -declared right before God. The spiritual offspring of Abraham are not the Judaizers who try to preach a gospel of works but those who come to God by faith.

What Now?

Please join me in replacing the hex of lies with Truth. The Message says only crazy people think they can complete by their own efforts what was begun by God. ² My life in Christ began when I heard the plain and simple Truth of the Gospel and the Holy Spirit empowered me to believe. Anything I do now that is worth anything is because of His Presence working in and through me, so that He receives all the glory. I suffered a great loss that had me in a pit of despair. But God didn’t leave me there. He picked me up out of the pit, set my feet on a solid rock, and then put a new song in my heart, a song of praise I sing to Him. It is my prayer that many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD. ⁶

Click the link to see more articles related to Live Free .

The ESV® Study Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
MSG Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
John R. W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way . Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1968.
Genesis 12:1-3
Amplified Bible. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation. Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
Psalm 40:1-3

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The Justification

Tue, 18 Feb 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Clearly I was Justified

My dad was a #girldad before it was cool. He had four daughters and never acted like he was disappointed he didn’t have a son, even with me, number 4. He taught us the essentials: how to play basketball, how to shoot a gun, how to change a tire. He also encouraged us to defend ourselves, especially against snotty-nosed boys. So when two boys were playing keep away with my purse in homeroom before school started, I knew I had to stand up to them. I asked them nicely a few times to give it back. When they didn’t, I punched one of them in the nose. He started bleeding so profusely, he ran to the bathroom to try to get it to stop. There was a blood stained handprint on the boy’s bathroom door until a janitor could come clean it up. The warning bell rang. Before we took our seats, I told the other boy I had to punch him too…just to be fair. He said okay but not in the nose. So I punched him in the eye. These events led to me going to the principal’s office and earning a detention after school. The punishment would likely be much more severe today.

Shortly after this was our sports awards banquet. The boy I punched in the nose was pointing me out to his parents. I started to shrink back, but then my daddy put his arm around me like he was proud. In essence, he was teaching me these boys had it coming and clearly my actions were justified.

I don’t think that’s what Paul had in mind when he was defending the Truth of Justification, but I leaned into my daddy’s hug just a little more, feeling his protection as he dared anyone to say otherwise.

The Justification for Justification

If you recall, Galatians is the first book Paul wrote. He had to get the central doctrine of Justification correct. It is the basis of his later letters. His missionary base of Antioch was the location of the first Gentile church and where Paul opposed Peter to his face for being hypocritical. Peter withdrew from Gentile Christians he had been enjoying sweet fellowship with because he feared the Circumcision Party that required Jewish regulations be followed in order to be saved.

Paul explains in Galatians 2:15-21 why he was willing to engage in this head on collision with a fellow Apostle. It’s simple really. The Truth of the Gospel was at stake, particularly the doctrine of Justification.

Justified is a legal term that simply means to be declared right. ¹ For a Christian, justification is the good news that sinful men and women may be brought into acceptance with a Holy God, not because of works but through the simple act of trust in Jesus Christ. ² Paul uses this word four times in these verses to demonstrate the urgent need he had in defending it. Generally speaking, a person could not stand before God through human effort. Paul reminds Peter they had the best system of rules the world has ever seen and still had to come to Christ by personally accepting Him by Faith, not by observing rituals. Paul emphatically concludes that universally no one will be declared right by good morals because sin is in the heart. ³

Paul Answers the Challenge to Justification.

Paul was unknowingly caught up in God’s plan all along. The law he tried to keep pronounced the sentence of death on his way of life. ⁴ He then goes on to answer the challenge to justification by grace through faith in Christ alone. ⁵ In essence he is saying, “if you haven’t noticed yet, we aren’t perfect.” But that doesn’t mean Christ is an accessory to sin. God forbid! That accusation is frivolous.

What actually took place was this,
I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God.
It didn’t work.
So I quit being a law man
So that I could be God’s man.
The Message.

Amazing Freedom is the Result

You can see Galatians 2:20 in the scripture text below. Just go ahead and commit to memorizing it right now. One of the young ladies in my Bible study had memorized it as a song when she was a child. And she sang it for us right there in class. I memorized it this way too and could hum along. Music is good like that, producing core memories that pierce the soul. You will see verse 21 packs a punch as well.

My reflections are as follows: If I share in the crucifixion of Christ, I also share in the victory of the resurrection. God will still use my personality and the way He gifted me, but He directs and empowers all that I do so that my ego is no longer taking center stage in the life I am living. I am completely trusting in and relying on the love of Jesus Christ who gave Himself for me and effectively works through me by His Spirit. I am not going to treat the Grace of God given to me as something of minor importance. If I could have been acquitted from my guilt through rule-keeping, then Christ died for no purpose. I refuse to invalidate my Savior’s death as if it were in vain. I can’t live like that with any conviction. Coming to this realization with my whole heart brings a settling sense of amazing freedom that is hard to explain but can be felt every day as I choose to live a life worthy of this calling. ⁶

Click the link to see more articles related to Live Free .

Amplified Bible. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation. Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.
John R. W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way . Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1968.
John Macarthur, The Macarthur Study Bible . Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2006.
The ESV® Study Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
MSG Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
All Glory to God for the above cited sources that have informed and influenced my thinking and actions.

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The Confrontation

Tue, 11 Feb 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

An uncomfortable confrontation

When I was in middle school years, there was someone I looked up to who was a couple of years older than me. She was edgy and cool and popular with guys. I told her some things in private to try to impress her and she went to school and shared it. The thing was it wasn’t even about me. I shared private things about people I cared about and then she used it against them. When they confronted me, I tried to tell them I never meant to hurt them, but they felt betrayed. They eventually forgave me but never really forgot it completely. I felt awful. They were right to confront me. It taught me to be careful who I tried to impress and what it might cost.

An example of Biblical Confrontation

Paul and Barnabas had just received the right hand of fellowship from the leaders of the Church in Jerusalem, confirming they agree and are on equal footing in sharing the Gospel. In the very next verse Paul says he opposed Peter to his face because he was clearly out of line. WHOA! What is the heinous crime Peter committed that Paul was not willing to let go?

Even though Paul moves swiftly in his letter, there is actually a number of years between Paul and Barnabas leaving Jerusalem in Galatians 2:10 and Peter visiting the Christian Church in Antioch in 2:11. But why the face to face confrontation? The conservative Jewish clique, also known as the Circumcision Party, came into town pretending to be sent by James and having his authority as an apostle. ^2,3 Peter feared them and so he withdrew and separated himself from the new Gentile believers. Peter is also an apostle with God given authority. Before these men showed up, he was enjoying his fellowship with Jew and Gentile alike. Now he was acting like a hypocrite. Peter didn’t believe you had to be circumcised or follow Jewish table regulations to be saved. ⁴ He had been freed of that. Yet he still yielded to the pressure from the popular party and influenced other Jews to behave similarly. Even Paul’s own mission’s partner, Barnabas, went along with this charade. Instead of sulking in silence, licking his wounds, Paul goes right to the source to confront the situation.

Why the public showdown?

If Peter had just hurt their feelings by his treatment of these new believers, Paul could have gone to Peter in private to confront his pretense and insincerity and show him how he was discouraging his brothers and sisters in Christ. However, the Truth of the Gospel was at stake. Peter, an influential leader in the church, had made this a public showdown by his public conduct. So nothing other than a public head on collision would do. John Stott says in his commentary on Galatians, “Paul’s outstanding courage on this occasion in resisting Peter preserved both the Truth of the Gospel and the international brotherhood of the Church;” God always intended for Jews and Gentiles to be united with One Lord, One Table. ⁵

Peter’s actions communicated that a person must be saved by faith AND human effort to have a right standing before God. His conduct threatened the very reason Jesus Christ came to die. No human can stand before a Holy God and be declared right or okay simply by trying to obey a moral code or certain rules. It doesn’t work. The entire Old Testament pointed to a need for a Savior whose blood sacrifice alone atoned for our sins. When God looks at us, He sees paid in full. If there was any other way, Christ would not have had to die.

Am I willing to confront sin today?

I am not one to avoid confrontation like many in the church who avoid it at all cost. Learning to live free in Christ includes unity in the church. However, even if I have the courage to be uncomfortable, do I have the discernment to know when it should be a public versus private confrontation?

I have found stepping back and honestly examining my motivation helps me determine when and how to confront others. If I am just trying to prove I am right and they are wrong, that is not going to end well. However, if I truly care for a fellow believer, and I communicate I love them and genuinely want God’s best for their life, the outcome has the opportunity to be different. I am not in control of how it plays out; I yield that to the Holy Spirit. I may not see the results for years, if ever on this side of heaven. Knowing I have lovingly preserved the Truth entrusted to me is enough. Even if it is hard. Because I have already concluded God is enough. If it’s just God and me standing alone, I will still be okay.

Click the link to see more articles related to Live Free .

Feature Photo by  David Clode  on  Unsplash
MSG Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
John Macarthur, The Macarthur Study Bible . Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2006.
The ESV® Study Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
John R. W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way . Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1968.

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Fight for Freedom

Tue, 04 Feb 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Fight for Freedom

If you have ever been set free from bondage, you will fight for that freedom. It could be bondage to control, addictions, approval, relationships, even grief. Maybe you’re in bondage through no fault of your own. Once you have been released, you will never want to be enslaved again. That’s how I felt after being released from the despair of grief.

When God lifted the tormenting cloud of deep grief, I was afraid it would only be for a season. But the season has been 2 1/2 years and I am choosing to relish in the fact that I’m free to live courageously. I still grieve, but it is not all consuming. Praying, giving thanks, and showing love are the not so secret strategies I use to stay out of the pit. ¹ Praise be to God who delivered me and put a new song in my heart.

What is worth fighting for?

Paul was willing to fight for Freedom in Christ, namely that the Gospel did not require circumcision as given to Abraham or bondage to the Mosaic Law in order to be saved. The Mosaic Law had a purpose in that it pointed to the Messiah. Once Jesus Christ laid down His life as the perfect sacrifice and conquered death with His resurrection, trust in Him alone was sufficient for salvation.

What do we tend to add to our salvation? It is pride that makes us think we have to do something good to be saved.

But what about circumcision? Ever since God made a covenant with Father Abraham, it was required of all Jewish males to be circumcised on the 8 ^th day after they were born. This was a sign of the covenant with Yahweh. The majority of baby boys get circumcised today for other reasons. But why is it no longer necessary as a sign of the covenant?

I read a good article on Ligonier.org ² that gave much clarity. When our sins were imputed to (put on) Christ on the cross, God’s wrath was poured out on Him as the object of God’s covenant curses. Circumcision means cut off. Jesus Christ cut off the filth of our sin when He became a curse for us. He did this for love. It was the only way we could receive the covenant blessings of Faith in Him.

A Powerful Voice

Paul heard the voice of the Holy Spirit telling him to go up to Jerusalem and meet with those who held influence in the church but were also like-minded. He took his missions partner Barnabas with him. And he also took Titus, a Gentile convert so the church leaders could see for themselves the effect the Gospel was having on the whole world not just the Jews. They met in private so their concern would not become a controversial public issue, marred by ethnic tensions that would endanger his present ministry. ³

So when Paul took Titus with Barnabas and himself to talk about the Gospel with the leaders of the church in Jerusalem, he was using him as a test case. ⁴ Titus was a Gentile who had not been circumcised but had been converted to Christ under Paul’s teaching of the Gospel. The leaders agreed that the Gospel Paul was preaching to the Gentiles was the same Gospel they preached to the Jews. Furthermore, it was decided Titus did not have to be circumcised to be saved. This was big news and would have greatly encouraged the recipients of the letter who were Gentiles. They encouraged unity in the body of Christ as relates to the Gospel being preached but with a division of labor as relates to the recipients of their mission. This unity was evidenced by Peter, James, and John giving Paul and Barnabas the right hand of fellowship that showed agreement between the parties. The only overlap of ministry was to remember the poor in Jerusalem. All parties were eager to do this as meeting physical needs should accompanying preaching the Gospel.

Why does he keep repeating himself?

It seems Paul has been a little repetitive thus far in His letter to the Galatians. But this is the first of his writings and it is the precursor to his other writings where he continues to share everything he believes about the Gospel. This first one had to be defended, so it could be preserved. John Stott makes two statements regarding Paul’s zeal in not yielding to those that want to spy out the freedom they have in Christ: ⁵

Stott also quotes Martin Luther as saying, “be hard in Faith, but soft in Charity.” I’m not Martin Luther, but I would rephrase that to say fight when it comes to matters of Truth but yield when it comes to matters of Love . We tend to think Jesus was soft, willing to yield, on both Truth and Love. In His perfection, He was actually unyielding on both. He is Truth and He is Love. He cannot help but exude both in full measure at all times. Truth and Love can and should coexist in me as they do in Jesus. I worship Him best when I give a correct representation of His character, but my sin gets in the way.

The Holy Spirit is my Super Power to Freedom

As I grow in my Faith, and the fruit of the Spirit is more evident, it may appear at first that I am compromising, when I am actually showing discernment, patience, and dare I say, meekness. The Holy Spirit in me is my super power. When I yield to Him, that strength is under His control and it leads to more freedom not less. He uses the way He made me to use my passionate voice in a way that can bring the most Glory to God and good to others.

My prayer is that many will see and hear and put their trust in Him.

Julie Fillinger, Courage to Live: Learning to live Again After Loss . Chicago: Kharis Publishing, 2024.

Nick Batzing, How Was Circumcision a Sign of the Covenant? Ligonier.org: Nov 15, 2023.

Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

The ESV® Study Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

John R. W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way . Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1968.

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How Could I Outrun My Reputation?

Tue, 28 Jan 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

How Could I Outrun My Reputation?

I got in trouble a lot in the middle school years, mostly 6 ^th through 9 ^th grade. That’s when I did my best sinning. I got away with a lot, too. What I couldn’t get away with was talking in class, which strangely was probably the least of my offenses. Nearly every day I had to go out in the hall and put my nose on the wall for talking. My sisters who were a couple of years older than me would walk by on their way to lunch. They and their friends would say, “Oh look it’s Julie. What are you out in the hall for this time?” Talking. It was always for talking. Sometimes I wasn’t even the one talking. If the teacher heard talking, she would turn around and look at me or occasionally my friend Yvonne and tell one of us to go out into the hall. She didn’t listen to our protest of innocence the few times we were not actually the culprits because the discipline still achieved her desired result, which was to get the class to be quiet. I mostly got what I deserved, but there were a few times I was wrongly punished because the teacher made incorrect assumptions. I couldn’t outrun my reputation. It followed me for years. Teachers that really liked me would give me the benefit of the doubt, but those that didn’t like me, made false assumptions. There was no in between.

Paul’s reputation preceded him

In his letter to Galatia, Paul responds to criticism that he is preaching a gospel that is different from God’s gospel. He is defending the Truth of the Gospel he received from Jesus Christ and those criticizing him are the ones preaching a different one. The problem was he used to be one of them. When he left them, they hated him and falsely accused him. His reputation preceded him at times. But those who believed the Truth, were willing to see the change in him.

But God changed him

That’s why Paul’s conversion is so interesting. Paul used to be one of the most fanatical amongst the Jewish religious party. He was so zealous about preserving the traditions of his fathers, he violently tried to destroy the church before it even got started. The thing is, he really believed in what he was doing. That is, until God intervened. God had a plan for Paul’s life and had to radically get a hold of him so he could follow God’s plan, not his own. His story would seem unbelievable if I didn’t trust in the inerrancy and Spirit inspired Word of God. One minute Paul is on his way to Damascus where he is hell bent on dragging Christians out into the street for their beliefs. Then he hears a voice and sees a vision from Jesus Christ Himself asking why he is persecuting Him. He is struck blind for a few days from the light God shone, not only in his eyes but also in his heart. And he is never the same. You can read about it in Acts 9 .

The wilderness experience

Paul goes and hangs out in the wilderness for a few years where Jesus continues to teach him more about the Gospel. That sounds glorious to me. It seems like a good model for discipleship except how many people get to take off for three years and leave all of their responsibilities behind? I don’t reckon he was married with children and a mortgage.

The principle can still apply, but what does it look like practically to grow in my faith? Weekly times together in worship and Bible study, meeting with like-minded Believers to pray, throw in a conference every year to be refreshed. These are all good but what has grown my faith the most is the daily discipline of getting up early and finding God is enough. Being still. Being quiet. Praying God’s Word back to Him and listening to the voice of His Spirit speak to me. I am addicted, so when I don’t get up and do it, the craving won’t go away. There is nothing that satisfies like the love, joy, and peace of those moments. It keeps me coming back for more.

When the enemy swoops in

After his wilderness journey, Paul takes several mission trips. It’s on his first journey that he shares the Good News of the Gospel with the region of Galatia. He writes this letter to them later when he hears they are tempted to believe lies after he left. Paul’s former friends were now his enemies and they had swooped in to confuse the Galatians and make false accusations about Paul. That’s what satan is best at. Making accusations, especially when you are not there to defend them. He uses a hint of the truth to make them very believable. It’s the Holy Spirit who helps us to discern the difference.

A bad reputation turned good.

Can we ever outrun our reputation? Mine followed me for years. Even after I matured, it took time for the people who knew me previously to believe I wasn’t the same person I once was. Paul had once severely persecuted Christians but after God got a hold of him, he used that same zeal to lead others to Christ. Maybe it was good he was off the radar for a few years, growing in the grace and knowledge of the Lord. Only God can turn things around so that those who once believed the worst now glorify God because of what they hear about you.

“and they glorified God because of me.” That’s what I want to be said of me.

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Good News…It’s Going to be Okay

Tue, 21 Jan 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Good News!

Paul wrote a letter intended to be circulated to churches that he had started in the region of Galatia. This is modern day Turkey. In this letter, he greets the churches with Grace and Peace. I love these words. John Stott says they are pregnant with theological substance and summarize the Good News of the Gospel of Christ. ¹ Grace, God’s free favor and lovingkindness to the undeserving, is the source of our salvation. Peace, reconciliation with God, within ourselves, and to our fellow man, is the nature of salvation. They flow from God the Father and the Son together in harmony according to the Father’s will. The cross is where grace is exhibited and peace is derived.

How do I know if everything is going to be okay ?

I want to pause and hang out a minute on this idea of peace. There have been many times in my life that people have told me, ”it’s going to be okay,” when they have no idea if it is or not. They mean well, but it’s not actually a helpful thing to say. They are hoping it will be okay, just like I am. But how do either of us really know if it’s going to be okay ?

What God is offering is not the absence of conflict but rather tranquility in the midst of it that arises from reconciliation with God. ² This is a spiritual blessing that says all is well within us, a sense of well-being and ordered harmony. ³

The only One that has any credibility to tell me
everything is going to be okay
is
Jesus Christ.

He is the One who made everything okay when He gave Himself to rescue me and set me free from being a slave to our present world system. Because of this, today and tomorrow overlap. In other words, I have access to this peace now because Christ’s work is finished. When I am tempted to doubt God’s way is better than mine, His Spirit in me holds me fast as I wait for Christ’s return when peace is completely realized. To Him be the Glory forever and ever.

Paul tells Christian leaders to go to hell.

The letter has some strong language for those who preach a different Gospel. Paul says if anyone preaches a Gospel to them other than the one he preached, then they can just go to hell. Wow! Why was this such a big deal?

Paul actually says, “let them be accursed,” which means devoted to destruction and doomed to eternal punishment in hell. ⁴ He was very concerned about these new believers being led astray by those who were supposed to be Christian leaders. They were religious Jewish men that came from Jerusalem to teach these Gentiles in Galatia if they wanted to be a part of their faith, then they had to obey the laws of the Old Testament. The problem was this was not the Good News Gospel Paul was preaching. Paul at one time had been one of them, but when he realized Jesus Christ had fulfilled all of the requirements of the Law, he turned to follow Him completely as the only Way.

Don’t be a traitor

Paul was astonished the Galatian churches could be so fickle and desert Christ so quickly. He wasn’t trying to win a popularity contest. He is basically calling them traitors. They had experienced salvation by Grace through Faith in Christ alone. Why would they turn from that and follow anything else? He leverages his apostolic authority given to him by the risen Jesus Christ Himself, to speak this strong warning. Afterall, their spiritual lives were at stake.

What am I afraid of?

Who am I willing to go after with such passion when they are tempted to believe a lie? A few people come to mind. But if I am being honest, I am good at talking about the Good News of the Gospel of Christ in places and on platforms that feel comfortable, but then get tongue-tied when I have the opportunity to speak it in the general public. I have had really good teaching that has equipped me with the Truth, and I keep it to myself when it feels awkward to do otherwise. If someone was in a burning building, I would go in to try to help rescue them. Then why won’t I treat those who may be headed to hell with the same care and concern? I pray for more courage in this area of my walk. It’s not that I am ashamed of the Gospel, but I can’t quite discern what it is I am afraid of. I have gone to classes, read books, and been on mission trips. But it still does not flow naturally for me, and I doubt the opportunity was really present until it’s passed.

I think what I am really doubting is that the Holy Spirit will give me His words to say when I need them. I think I have to be clever and have everything planned out so it sounds appealing. Even as I am typing this, I realize that’s not my job. My job is to be a willing vessel ready to be used by Him when He says. Put the Truth out there, even if it doesn’t sound polished, and the Holy Spirit can take it form there. There’s a lot of freedom if I am willing to live that way.

My journey to live free in Christ continues as I lean into the Holy Spirit’s leading.

Click the link to see more articles related to Live Free .

John R. W. Stott, The Message of Galatians: Only One Way . Downers Grove, IL: InterVarsity Press, 1968.
Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary, New Testament . Chattanooga: AMG International, 1993.
The ESV® Study Bible (The Holy Bible, English Standard Version®), © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Amplified Bible. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation. Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

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Live Free

Tue, 14 Jan 2025 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Live Free

Wouldn’t you say yes to removing the pressure of trying to be something you’re not? You weren’t weighed down by anything that would keep you from discovering who you were meant to be. You had confidence any obstacles on the path to this freedom would be removed. Your dreams would be realized because you were doing fulfilling work that mattered. Hope would be renewed as you basked in a lifestyle with love, joy, and peace at its core. This is what it means to Live Free . And it is yours for the taking.

Duty v. Love

My husband and I realized not that long ago that we were legalistic. We thought we were enjoying freedom in Christ. Upon closer inspection, we both had areas in which we struggled that we were adding to Christ’s work. I won’t speak for him, but I felt obligated to do certain things to be spiritual. Acts of service were being done out of duty not love. And because of that, they felt heavy. So very heavy.

What changed?

I had to get to the point of being okay with just God before I even realized I was struggling with legalism. In the morning, when I got up to meet with God, I asked Him to help me not worry about anything else in those moments. I was meeting with Him, and it was my most important meeting of the day. I had to learn how to sit still and be quiet before Him. It had to become a discipline I practiced. Just me and God, no one else. I didn’t have to do anything or perform a certain way. I was alone with God and His Spirit in me began to nudge me in such a way that said since He was okay with me, everything else would fall into place.

This idea of just me and God gave me such a sense of freedom. I didn’t want to do things out of duty but out of love. I could do almost all of the same things I was already doing but doing them from a heart of love removed the weight of obligation. I wanted to serve my Lord because I loved Him and I trusted He would show me what that looks like with the gifts He gave me.

The Path to Freedom

That’s when I started searching for my next Bible study to further investigate this idea of what it meant to live free. My research kept taking me to the same book of the Bible. I will be studying Galatians over the next few months using David Jeremiah’s book, The Path to Freedom . I plan to share my reflections here.

I hope you will join me on the path to discovering the freedom of living by the Spirit. The abundant Christian life is a powerful and practical one that’s not out of reach. I don’t think you will be disappointed. If you give it a chance, the Holy Spirit will take over. Before long, you won’t be able to get enough.

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Don’t Give Up Too Soon

Tue, 24 Dec 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Don’t give up too soon

Maybe, like me, you have questioned how to keep living in the present where we see brokenness all around. I feel so much empathy for those suffering because I know what it’s like to feel the anguish of a broken heart plummeting me to the depths of grief’s despair.

What I have to remember is suffering has a purpose because it produces endurance. Endurance is good as it informs me to keep hanging on until it produces character. I should be excited about greater character, but honestly it’s not worth the suffering to me. This is when I get discouraged and I’m tempted to give up. But God, in His faithfulness, won’t let me. I want to let go, but He holds me in His firm grip. And by His Spirit, He shows me that if I don’t give up too soon, character produces Hope. ²

Why do I give up too soon?

I listen to the lies of satan instead of believing God is who He says and will do what He promises. Or I rely on my own strength instead of leaning on God’s. Maybe it’s not in the time frame I think it should be or the outcome is different from what I imagined. I’m talking about real hurts and painful losses that I cannot fathom could be a part of God’s sovereign plan.

I give up too soon when I take my eyes off Jesus

and believe the lie

that the Glory that awaits

is not worth what I must endure.

Do I continue to suffer?

Yes. But I move through the transformative process more quickly to bask in Hope that does not disappoint. I have the memorial stones of God’s faithfulness to lean on. He has never not been faithful. I have no other reason to be hopeful. But God, in His love, makes sense of the suffering. I can endure a little longer and then a little longer still as I wait expectantly for Christ’s return.

Unresolved tension for 400 years

I have read a Psalm a day for every day in 2024 and what I have found is not disappointing. I see God Bigger everywhere I look. My mind continues to be blown as I continue to grow in my understanding of who God is. I know He must be true to His character. Yet, His own character seems from my perspective to be at odds with itself. What feels like unresolved tension is not uncomfortable to Him.

He planned 400 years of silence between the Old and New Covenant. I think of all of the unrealized dreams as God’s people waited expectantly for Him to answer. They were waiting for the Messiah, the King who would come to deliver them and set them up as Princes and Princesses who would reign and rule with Him. All of the Books prophesied about it.

Expecting a King

That brings me to Psalm 93. As I reflected on this short Psalm, I was encouraged by the Hope that still rings true. The King who reigns forever from His Holy Throne is robed in strength and majesty. The thunderous waves of the sea are a glimpse of His mighty power. In a world that is chaotic and ever changing, His throne is firmly established and His Rule is everlasting. This is what God’s people were expectantly awaiting.

A baby born to low income parents?

What they were not expecting is for this King to come in the humblest means possible as a baby born in a stable to low income parents who had no earthly idea what to do with Him, other than put Him in a manger.

The heavens broke open as angels heralded, shepherds came, a star appeared, and kings traversed. The world had been forever changed, but would she believe this babe was the Savior promised so long ago to bring reconciliation so sinful humans could meet with a Holy God?

The baby is the King who reigns forever

The baby born to die so we could live is the King who reigns forever. The rest of the story is written but not yet realized. He longs for what He has always longed for. I don’t understand it, but the King of kings wants to make His dwelling with us. The Word became flesh and dwelt among us. We beheld His Glory, Glory as could only come from the Father, as it was full of Grace and Truth. ³

When Jesus ascended to the heavens, He said He must go so the Comforter could come. Until He returns to set up His Kingdom, He left us with His Spirit. ⁴

Emmanuel! God is still with us!

Feature Photo by Sixteen Miles Out on Unsplash
Romans 5:1-5
John 1:14
John 14:16-20

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My Living Hope Was Born

Tue, 17 Dec 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

My Living Hope was Born

I don’t think I will ever get through grief and come out on the other side. I learned how to live with grief like a guest that won’t leave. There have been cycles that repeat themselves but not always in the same order. As I learned joy and sorrow could coexist, I started to function fairly well. But a dark cloud constantly hovered, threatening to unleash its storm of thunderous torment. As long as I continued to cry out, engage my prayer warriors, be thankful, and love others, the anguish mostly stayed at bay. 

Then one day, a few weeks before the ninth anniversary of Nicholas’s death, when I would normally be reliving the days leading up to the horrific event, expecting a different outcome that never came, God performed a miracle. As I was crying out for the umpteenth time, God heard me. He had been hearing me before, but this time was different. This time when God heard me, He set my feet on solid ground and put a new song in my heart. The heavy grief cloud was lifted. The sun was shining and I didn’t have to pull the blinds. I could wear bright colors again. I could laugh and not feel guilty. But mostly, I could take a deep breath and let it out without feeling pain. I hadn’t realized how long I had been holding my breath until that moment. It felt so good to just release it. It was if God was saying, I kept you under the weight of suffering for a purpose and now that purpose is complete and you are released.

I still grieve and I feel certain I will until Christ returns, but it is not nearly as heavy. The choice I made was to cry out to God and keep crying day after day. I was not hanging on to Him. I had no strength to do so. But as I look back, even when I thought He had forsaken me, God had me firmly in His grip, and He didn’t let go. In the process, He taught me what Living Hope really means. And now I live with the certain expectation that what awaits far outweighs any suffering He asked me to endure here. Yes, I will be reunited with Nicholas, and that is a blessed encouragement. But because Jesus Christ conquered the grave, my glory and victory already reside with His. Focusing on heaven changes my perspective on how I live here. I gladly trade what this world has to offer for the better life to come.

David’s vulnerability gains him intimacy with God

In the Psalms written by David, he has the audacity to call himself blameless and righteous when the history books say otherwise. A closer look reveals king David is poor and needy and cries out for deliverance many times over his life. We are blessed to have his encounters recorded in the Book.

Psalm 61 reveals David’s vulnerability before God as he pleads for help. He doesn’t hide anything he is thinking or feeling. He just pours himself out. His life is a sacrifice. His conclusion is always the same. He knows with intimacy that God will come through, that God will be faithful to His promises. He has built memorial stones of remembrance on what God has done for him. God is his Rock and Refuge. It is not too bold for him to ask to dwell in God’s tent forever as a welcome guest in God’s presence because the request is based on God’s character of steadfast love. David knows this is the inheritance of those who fear God. So, he offers praise and thanksgiving as acceptable worship in advance for what he trusts God will do.

Upon closer reflection of this and other Kingship Psalms, a true and better David emerges. He asks God to prolong the life and lineage of the king as he anticipates Jesus Christ, the King of kings for all generations. God’s faithfulness in watching over this King assures the Kingdom will endure forever.

What does this mean for me?

How do I apply this to my life in this season of Advent? As I wait with expectant Hope, I long to feel something reassuring. I re-read and replay the Christmas story in all its glory, looking forward to the coming of the Messiah like He is coming for the first time. Of course I know this has already happened, but I consider it as if it is going to happen for the first time on this Christmas Day in 2024. And I plan my celebration around that thought.

It’s a humble thing to consider God loved me so much He gave His one and only Son as the Gift of Christmas. And that Jesus Christ was willing to be made flesh so He could come and dwell among us. It doesn’t take long to consider the baby that will become a man will pay my debt because I couldn’t. Born to die, so I could live.

I used to think what started with Christmas ended with The Cross. But that thinking is wrong. The Glorious Truth is Jesus Christ conquered death when He rose again. Death is always the prelude to Resurrection. Resurrection of Life and Living Hope.

That brings me back to how my glory and victory reside with His. Since His is assured by the steadfast love and faithfulness of God, mine is too.

So, like my brother David, I will ever sing praises to God’s Name in the waiting, as I perform my vows day after day.

Feature image by Josh Boot https://unsplash.com/@joshboot

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My Tragic Love Story Turned Hopeful

Tue, 10 Dec 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

A tragic love story

Have you noticed it’s easy to be hopeful and hope filled as long as everything is going well? You may even think you are struggling as you compare your life to others who seem to be better off in how they manage life and relationships. But then God allows you to see what pain really feels like and uses it to break you down completely so He can build you back up, removing anything that had a hold on your heart that should have belonged to Him. That’s my story. It’s a tragic love story where the end is written but not yet realized as Living Hope is waiting to be born. 

I thought I lived with hope for the future, but I still wanted to realize everything this world had to offer. And I didn’t appreciate the good life I had until it was shattered. My sixteen year old son Nicholas died tragically, and my world was rocked in devastation. I detail the courage needed to learn how to live again after this horrific loss here on my website and in my book Courage to Live: Learning to Live Again After Loss. ¹

The grief journey is hard and horrific and nothing prepared me for it. But when I started experiencing it, I had a choice. I didn’t think I did. I felt like I was going to wallow in anguish the rest of my days, barely able to breathe, much less get out of bed and be functional for my husband and younger son. God felt so far, like He had abandoned and forsaken me. I could barely utter any semblance of a cry. 

But God works a miracle

This went on for nine years. The degree of anguish lessened as my prayer warriors, who committed to pray for me day or night, were faithful to lift me before God’s Throne of Grace. I was able to get out of the pit of despair as I chose to see and count gifts to be thankful for every day. Even on the days I didn’t feel like being thankful, I could always count on eternal life. It wasn’t necessarily because I wanted to be embraced by Jesus, but because it was the only way I would see my son again. When I took my rough but thankful emotions and courageously started to show love to others while my own heart was still broken, God started to work a miracle. 

The riches of Psalm 25

I have been trying to read Advent Psalms this month as I anticipate my celebration of The Word that became flesh in order to dwell among us. ² In so doing, Psalm 25 came up. It doesn’t feel very Advent-y at first glance. Upon further reflection, it is very rich.

David calls on God’s character

David is admitting what a mess he is and that he needs God. He knows that if he waits for God, he will not be put to shame. He is bold as he calls on God’s character as the basis for asking for deliverance from his evil enemies. Then he says he will wait for the redemption that he has confidence will follow. Redemption not only for himself, but all of Israel.

To you, O  Lord , I lift up my soul. O my God, in you I trust.

Let me not be put to shame; let not my enemies exult over me.

It is only God that delivers. David is asking that God not embarrass him in front of his enemies. Then he realizes no one who waits for the Lord will be embarrassed.

I call on God’s character

For me, the key is to know the ways and paths of the Lord and ask him to teach me and lead me in His truth. Why? He is the God of my salvation, so I will wait for Him all day long. I remember God‘s character as the basis of my request.

Mercy
Steadfast Love
Goodness
Uprightness
Faithfulness

God instructs sinners like me and teaches and leads the humble how to keep His covenant and testimonies.

The Result

The results of fearing the LORD are incredible.

Pardon
Instruction
Well-being abiding in my soul
My offspring’s inheritance
Friendship with a Holy God.

I can ask the Lord to be gracious when I am lonely and afflicted, and when the troubles of my heart are enlarged.

What am I asking him for? To bring me out of distress and consider my affliction, to forgive my sins, which are great, to guard my soul, to deliver me from my hateful foes, and let me not be put to shame.

I take refuge in the Lord.

I take refuge in the Lord. This shows a heart of integrity in trying to do what’s right as I wait and wait and wait some more. Then I look around to others and not just focus on myself. As I do, I ask for their redemption as well.

Julie Fillinger, Courage to Live: Learning to Live Again after Loss . Chicago: Kharis Publishing, 2024.

John 1:14

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Is Unshakable Hope Possible?

Tue, 03 Dec 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Is Unshakable Hope Possible?

How can I be assured of unshakable Hope? Along with faith and love, hope is one of the big three abiding characteristics of Christian life. Without it, I would live in misery, incapable of persevering through harsh trials. With it, I live with certainty that I have everything to gain and nothing to lose.

Do you remember when your mother would light the birthday candles and tell you to make a wish? Then you would tear into your presents to see if what you wished for magically appeared. Sometimes your wish came true but sometimes it didn’t. Our wishes change over time and usually become less materialistic to include beautiful sunsets, waterfalls, exploration and adventure, and quality time with loved ones. We want those moments to go on forever. What if they could?

It is innate for our hearts to desire the Glory of God. Nothing else will satisfy. We occasionally get glimpses of this Glory that whet our appetite for what is to come. Consider the scent of the most beautiful flower, listening to the melodious sonnet of birds singing in the coolness of the morning, the satisfaction of a job well done, the thrill of winning a hard fought contest, and the pride you feel when your child succeeds at what they are gifted to do. All of these are but a taste of what God has in store for His children when Christ returns. Then we will not only see the Glory of God, we will bask in it. God’s Glory will shine brilliantly all around us and through us, much like it was in the Garden of Eden. Except we will be incapable of messing it up with sin. This is the Hope we have now of God’s certain future for His children.

The Long Awaited Messiah

This Hope is only made possible because the long awaited Messiah fulfilled His purpose toward mankind. God sent His Son, who was willing to set aside the privileges of His Deity to be born as a baby in a stable to parents of lowly means. ¹ He lived a sinless obedient life and humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death on a cross. ² He was born to die so we could live. And because He conquered death with His Resurrection, we have the Hope of joining Him in heaven forever. ³

Live with Hope this Christmas

This Christmas season, living with Hope every day can be a reality. God made us a promise and sealed it by His Spirit indwelling us. ⁴ God’s Spirit guides us into His presence where the Hope of Jesus Christ’s return is so fully anticipated, it’s guaranteed to happen. He came the first time to fulfill the promise as Messiah. ⁵ When He returns, it will be better than the best birthday wish coming true. He will set up His Kingdom, and we will reign with Him forever. ⁶

Luke 2:1-12

Philippians 2:6-11

John 11:25-26

Ephesians 1:13-14

Isaiah 9:6-7

1 Thessalonians 4:13-18

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The Password is Thank You

Tue, 26 Nov 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

The Password to Enter God’s Presence is Thank You

As the month long pursuit of meditating on a Psalm of Thanksgiving comes to a close this week, there are many things to reflect on about my response to knowing God and entering His presence. The humble act of disciplining myself to sit still and be quiet before Him always leads to breaking out in praise for who He is. All it takes is a sincere Thank You to enter His presence. ¹

That doesn’t mean there is no longer pain. It doesn’t mean there won’t continue to be new opportunities to cry out to Him from whatever trouble in which I find myself. It does mean I have been building memorial stones of gratitude for His deliverance in the midst of it. So I am likely to remember that He has never not been faithful to His promises when I encounter it again. Which leads me to remember the many attributes of His character in this year long pursuit of finding Him Bigger.

A Thanksgiving Psalm

It seems fitting just before Thanksgiving to meditate on and pray Psalm 100 back to God. I tell my Ladies Bible Study to make their own observations with the Holy Spirit before going to any bible study notes or commentaries so they are not robbed of the blessing of the Holy Spirit’s illumination. That includes reading from The Message. Eugene Peterson already did all the commentary work when he wrote The Message. It is glorious in its ability to help me understand, but I count it as cheating if I go to it first. Going to it after my own observation of Psalm 100 was so affirming. I usually add the ESV text at the end of my blogs, but today Psalm 100 is in The Message. You can enjoy below.

My reflections of Psalm 100

A peace offering to God

Psalm 100 is a peace offering of thanks back to God. ³ The unknown author is calling on all the earth to join in a series of actions to the LORD. Shouting, Serving, Coming, Knowing, Entering, Giving Thanks, and Blessing His Name. Also included is how I am to join in the action. Joyfully, with gladness, with singing, and with praise. Why is this the proper response? That’s easy. He made me. I am His. I am His people and a sheep of His pasture. If that is not reason enough, then I will consider His goodness in the way His steadfast covenant love towards me endures forever, along with His faithfulness to all generations.

Knowing God comes first

Knowing that God is the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe is a prerequisite for praising Him. What I am assured of is that He created me, made me His, and continues to care for me as a Shepherd. ⁴

Enter through the Door

Jesus Christ is not only the Way to enter His gates, but He is also the Door to the entry. ⁵ As my Great High Priest, He is the Sacrificer who sacrificed Himself as the Lamb who was slain. So I am welcome to now boldly approach the Holiest Court. ⁶

My life is a reasonable sacrifice

There is nothing left to do but affectionately praise Him for who He is as I commit my life as a sacrifice, which is a reasonable act of worship, all things considered. ⁷

Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

Bonnie Harvey, et al, With a Grateful Heart: The Joy of Thanksgiving . Uhrichsville, OH: Barbour Publishing, 1999.

Derek Kidner,  Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries, Volume 16, Psalm 73-150: An Introduction and Commentary . London: Intervarsity Press, 1975.

Ephesians 2:10, Psalm 23

John 14:6, John 10:9

Hebrews 10:19-22

Romans 12:1-2

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A Fresh Experience of God’s Grace

Tue, 19 Nov 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Finding God Bigger

I shared with you in the First Light Blog that Eric and I have been reading a Psalm a day since January 1 ^st . This practice has radically changed how I view God. I am overwhelmed by the discovery of how BIG GOD is. It seems I should have known this already, but I just keep finding Him BIGGER. So when things come up or questions arise that seem inconsistent with my foundational understanding of who God is, I am not undone by how uncomfortable it can feel to question with reverence and fear the One who holds the world together with His hands.

As I was reading the Psalms for the second time, I picked ten that I would study more deeply and wrote Cries of Praise from the Psalter for the Ladies Bible Study I teach at my church on Wednesday evenings. I have been sharing my reflections from this study with you here these past months. The process has been incredible.

Cultivating a Heart of Gratitude

For the month of November, I carefully selected thirty Psalms of Thanksgiving to read and pray back to God, praising Him for who He is. This process cultivates a heart of Gratitude. Nothing changes my heart more than giving thanks.

I get up around 5:30 AM, grab my coffee, Bible, and journal and sit on the porch expectantly waiting for God to break through the darkness with His glorious light. And He meets with me every day. Even on the cloudy days, His light is there to guide me.

Of the thirty Psalms of Thanksgiving selected, I picked two, Psalm 98 and Psalm 100, to study more deeply and use as opportunities to teach the ladies with which I have been entrusted how go about doing my study. I actually picked three but had to sit on the bench with Covid. So my capable friend, Letha, was up to bat to pinch hit for me, as she sometimes does, with Psalm 95.

A Fresh Experience of God’s Grace

In the meantime, I was given an opportunity to share my ongoing story with a group in a neighboring church. I shared how God did not leave me in the pit of despair as I kept crying out to Him, that He heard my cries and put a new song in my heart. Psalm 40:1-3 are my life verses. They speak of this very miracle that compels me to proclaim what He has done to the whole world so that many will see and fear and put their trust in Him.

Psalm 98 also speaks of singing to the LORD a new song. As I studied, I learned it’s not that I am necessarily composing something new. I am singing the song that is a fresh experience of God’s Grace. ¹

My reflections of Psalm 98

I am compelled to sing a new song

The reason I am compelled to sing a new song is because I cannot get over the marvelous things God has done that defy human logic. He is giving me a fresh opportunity to praise Him. The chief of which is how He saved me with His mighty right hand and holy arm. May I never get over what Jesus did to rescue me!

He made known this great salvation when He revealed His righteousness in the sight of the Nations. There will come a day when He rights all the wrongs and victims will be vindicated. ² He has never and will never forget His covenant promise of steadfast love and faithfulness that started with the house of Israel through our Faith Father Abraham ³ but was always intended to be for the whole world as John proclaimed in the New Testament. ⁴ Jesus came the first time to pay the price for deliverance and conquer death. When He returns, every knee will bow and tongue confess that Jesus is Lord as was prophesied in Isaiah. ⁵

This is Dress Rehearsal

When that day comes, the joyful noise that will erupt will not be contained as the peoples of every tongue, tribe, and nation cue the orchestra and shout in praise as is the only fitting response worthy of the KING. Kidner says we anticipate the LORD’s return with every act of worship, and the songs we now sing are rehearsal as a prelude to His appearing. ²

Creation Cries

Creation itself cannot keep silent as it joins in the cries of praise. The world itself is renewed ¹ as the seas roar, rivers clap, and hills sing for joy together before the LORD as He comes to rule the earth!

And not only the earth itself, but He is also coming to administer justice and govern the world and its peoples with honesty and integrity. He is the King of kings.

Glimpses of Heaven

As I wait for His return to set up New Heaven New Earth, I get glimpses of it that power me through each day. As I lean into His Spirit, He opens my eyes to see His mercies anew each morning. A heart of gratitude is cultivated as I can’t stop thanking Him for all the marvelous things !

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by  Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

Derek Kidner,  Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries, Volume 16, Psalm 73-150: An Introduction and Commentary . London: Intervarsity Press, 1975.

Genesis 12:1-3

John 3:16

Philippians 2:10-11, Isaiah 45:23

Enhanced Brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon. Clarendon Press: Oxford, 1906. Page 841.

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Regardless of who won, God still reigns

Tue, 12 Nov 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Regardless of who won

At the time of this writing, it is the day before the general election. It feels like a lot is at stake in our country. Many are looking for a political savior to right all the wrongs. As a Christian, I realize the King of Kings is the only Savior. There will come a day when He returns to set up His Kingdom in New Heaven New Earth. I can’t wait for that glorious Day. It will be the perfect government with no way to mess it up with our sin.

While I am still here, I choose to responsibly exercise my right to vote for the candidate that is most closely aligned with the way God deals with His people. When neither candidate reflects the character of God well, I prioritize issues that are closest to God’s heart. In doing so, because God the Creator made us in His image, I must give the right to life in the womb the highest priority. Remembering all the while, this is not my true Home. I am an alien here. God gives me a glimpse of His Home as His Spirit indwells me. This is a guaranteed promise of what is to come.

At the time of this reading, we already know the outcome. Regardless of who won, they only rule as God allows. I implore you to join me in praying for those who lead at all levels of government. God asks us to seek justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with Him. Let’s choose to be a part of the solution as we look for ways to serve our community and take refuge in knowing God is in control and He will reign forever.

Remembering what I am prone to forget

As I continue reflecting on Psalm 103, I am recalling the benefits of my Salvation:

Forgiving
Healing
Redeeming
Crowning
Satisfying

When I remember these benefits, my youth is renewed like an eagle – strong, overcoming, soaring! Forgetting them is a slippery slope to ruin. I need help remembering because I am prone to forget. When things are going well is when I am most likely to forget. I don’t want to have to be reminded by painful means that which I should be thankful for every day. The key is to never get over my Salvation. To always remain poor in spirit means every day I get up realizing I did nothing to earn my Salvation and I can do nothing to keep it. It is all a work of the Lord. By spending time with Him, His Spirit testifies the Truth to my spirit and keeps me gratefully humble.

I am not in isolation

It would be easy to claim the benefits in isolation, but the LORD intends me to use them as part of a greater community. ¹ He does this by giving me a picture of how He has dealt with His people and how He made His ways known to them.

When the LORD executes righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed, He is putting victims back on their feet; it’s how He went about His work. ²

Psalm 103:8 quotes Moses almost word for word in Exodus 34:6-7 . The occasion is Israel’s golden calf incident which sets up remembering God does not repay us according to our sins. Sin angers the LORD but He doesn’t hold on to it as He perfectly balances mercy, grace, and steadfast love with His righteous wrath at great cost to Himself. ³

I am welcomed into the Family of God

If God dealt with us according to what we deserved, we would not be able to stand. But as it is, He made a way for us to come to Him. This God who can have nothing to do with sin loves a people who can’t stop sinning. So He gave His Son and made Him to be our sin so we could become His righteousness. ⁴

Those who believe are welcomed into the great intimacy only found in the family of God.

The LORD knows us. He remembers that He made us from dust. Yet, He is abundant in His steadfast love, and decisive in removing our sin, and enduring in how He continues to show compassion to those who reverently and worshipfully fear Him.

When I contrast God’s ways with what man is like, I see man’s days are like grass and flowers that flourish for a short time but are gone when a storm comes with nothing to show they were even there. ² How does this even compare to the steadfast love of the LORD?

I will reign with Him forever.

When I first read Psalm 103:17-18 , I briefly considered stipulations on the LORD’s love. But that didn’t make sense with what I already knew to be true.

David quotes from Psalm 90:2 when he proclaims the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting . I cannot grasp eternity past. I can barely wrap my head around eternity future as I long for Christ to return to set up His Kingdom. But to think God has always existed in complete self-sufficiency is more than my finite mind can handle. ⁵ I don’t think God intended for me to understand everything about Him this side of heaven and maybe never fully. But because His Spirit lives in me, testifying His Truth to my spirit, I believe Him when He says He loved me when I was but a helpless, hopeless, sinning enemy. ⁶

I cannot do anything to save myself, and I wouldn’t choose to even if I could, ⁷ So, God chose me from eternity past. ⁸ Here we learn His purpose in doing this was to bestow His steadfast love and righteousness on those who fear Him, keep His covenant, and remember to do His commandments. Those are not stipulations. They are evidences that we are His. He was already loving us with perfect mercy and kindness before we ever even considered loving Him. ⁹

That is what His children will do and how they will act. They will become like His Son. ¹⁰ He is a covenant keeping God. As He imprints His ways on their hearts, His children will hear, see, love, and earnestly obey His commands. ¹¹ And the privilege of nurturing future generations will faithfully follow.

But wait, there’s more!

In true David form, there is a “but wait, there’s more” coming.

Psalm 103:19-22 speaks of the praise that inhabits all of the LORD’s creation.

The last stanza of this Song is a call for all creatures made by God to affectionately and gratefully praise Him. The LORD established His throne in the heavens as He universally rules over His Kingdom. His angels and mighty ones obey the voice of His Word. His hosts and ministers do His will in whatever way pleases Him. All creatures in all places are called to bless the KING.

There’s nothing left for David to do but to celebrate his own access to the attentive ear of God. ³ I delight in joining him as he cries out,

Bless the LORD, O my Soul!

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright © 2001 by  Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.
Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.
Derek Kidner,  Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries, Volume 16, Psalm 73-150: An Introduction and Commentary . London: Intervarsity Press, 1975.
2 Corinthians 5:21
Exodus 3:1-15
Romans 8:16 and 5:1-11
Romans 3:10-12
Ephesians 1:4
1 John 4:19-21
Galatians 2:20
Amplified Bible. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation. Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright ^c 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

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Forget Not His Benefits

Tue, 05 Nov 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Forget Not

Pops struggled with Chronic Lymphocytic Leukemia for 15 years, but it didn’t slow him down until he neared the end. He mostly continued to live his life with faith and vigor. That is how my father-in-love wanted it. To live is Christ, and to die is gain was his mantra. He wanted to stay here on this earth doing the work of the Lord as long as he had energy to be productive. When he could no longer do that, he wanted to go Home, which he knew with assurance was far better.

We had just started to witness him getting more fatigued when he contracted Covid. Pops’s initial response to treatment with an infusion was good. But then he needed an inhaler, then home oxygen. With each treatment he would start to get better, and then a couple days later would get worse. I was on-call to contact if something happened that needed attention in the night.

One night I was called a couple of times but didn’t pick up. I never woke up to hear the call. Every other night I had remembered to take my phone off silent, but not this night. Pops fell going to the bathroom and my mother-in-love, Beammie, couldn’t lift him off the floor. She called. But I didn’t hear it.

Thankfully Beammie did not wait too long before calling EMS, and they quickly came to the rescue. From then on, the decision was made to call Eric for non-emergent needs. He couldn’t hear the phone ring when he took out his hearing aids, but he started keeping his watch on while he slept, and the vibration and lights were enough to shake him out of slumber.

I felt terrible. I still have the recording on my phone and occasionally torture myself with listening to her desperate cries for me to come. When I was needed most, I wasn’t available. I am usually very dependable. How could I forget to take my phone off silent?

It begins with Bless

This is our last passage in this series on Reflections from the Psalter. Psalm 103 is a beautiful and familiar Song that highlights the crucial need to forget not all the benefits of knowing the LORD.

It begins with Bless. This word y’all. I am thankful I have made reconciliation with it because it keeps coming up in The Psalter. This shouldn’t come as a surprise, but here I am sitting in wonder, nonetheless. And I can’t get past the first verse without bowing my head in humble praise.

Part of what has me awestruck is who is doing the blessing to Whom. David is the author of Psalm 103 . He affectionately praises the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe with admiration and gratitude and the Holy Spirit invites us to join in. ¹ Our King does not need our blessing, but He delights in it. Remember, LORD is Yahweh, the name for the covenant keeping God of true Isreal. It’s translated YHWH in Hebrew. ² They didn’t utter the vowels out of reverence. His Name is His character, Who He is, the self-existent Great I Am that spoke to Moses in Exodus 3:14 when He introduced Himself. And His Name is Holy, sacred and set apart from any defilement.

How and to what extent is David blessing the LORD? With his soul and all that is deep down within him, David is blessing the LORD’s Holy Name. David is saying he is taking all of his life and passion, every bit of who he is, and using it in this song of gratitude that celebrates the abundant goodness and love of the LORD for His people. ^3,4

Building Memorial Stones

David repeats the opening praise and then rouses himself to use his mind and memory to kindle his emotions. ¹

Why does he need to remind his soul to forget not?

When life is going great it is easy to praise, but when trials come I need help remembering why I praise the LORD. The benefits are many and I do well to build memorial stones along the way to help me in the crucial step of remembering what I am prone to forget in my grief, anxiety, or even apathy.

The LORD is very active in His benefits ² as He:

forgives all of our sin
heals every one of our diseases
redeems our life from the eternal pit of corruption
beautifies and dignifies us with crowns of His steadfast love and mercy
satisfies us with good nourishment.

Each of these benefits could be studied more thoroughly. They start at the point of salvation and have continuing results throughout eternity. We cannot separate body, soul, and spirit. The disease of sin corrupts our whole person. ³ Because of this, without a rescue that paid a ransom price, we would be headed for destruction. 2 Samuel 12 tells us David knows full well of what he is speaking here. We covered his sin with Bathsheba when we studied Psalm 51. As egregious as that sin was and our sin is, God’s character would not allow Him to leave us there. We wear His steadfast love and mercy as a paradise crown as we get a glimpse here of all the eternal beauty to come. ⁴

AS we remember

As we forget not the LORD’s benefits, a miracle happens. AS we are remembering and choosing to be thankful and praising the LORD, He renews our youth, strong and soaring like an eagle.

Have you ever heard, ”youth is wasted on the young?” As I get older, I am learning what that means. When I was younger, I had all the vitality of youth but none of the wisdom I have gained as I have matured in Christ. As I have grown, I know God more fully and the peaceful perspective and discernment that comes with maturity, but I don’t always have the same physical vitality to fully enjoy the wisdom I lacked when I was younger. David is saying, in God’s presence you can have both wisdom and vitality. I am signing up for that!

Please join me next week as I reflect on claiming these benefits to use as part of a greater community.

Click the link to see more articles related to Cries of Praise from the Psalter

Derek Kidner,  Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries, Volume 16, Psalm 73-150: An Introduction and Commentary . London: Intervarsity Press, 1975.
Amplified Bible. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation. Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright ^c 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission
Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

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Birthdays and Holidays Can Still Be Meaningful

Tue, 29 Oct 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Birthdays and Holidays Can Still Be Meaningful

Today is Nicholas’s birthday. I am choosing to celebrate his life. He lived a good life and made a difference to all who knew him. He is with Jesus today and there is no better place for him to be.

Selfishly, I would still rather he was here with me to celebrate his birthday. But God who knitted him together in my womb and determined the number of his days, chose a short earthly life for him but an everlasting life in heaven. My head knows this to be true. Sometimes my heart has to catch up.

I posted this blog last year mid-November. I have updated it to post again today to remind you and myself that birthdays and holidays can still be meaningful.

Is it the most wonderful time of the year?

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Choosing the Wrong Path

Tue, 22 Oct 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Choosing the wrong path

I am directionally challenged. GPS on my phone helps, but if Siri doesn’t speak up quickly enough, I can still find a way to take the wrong path.

Before we had GPS on our phones, my husband bought me a navigation tool that plugged in to the cigarette lighter. He loved it. It made so much sense to him. He just knew I was going to love it too. But I was clueless how to use it. I felt like they were speaking in a foreign language with the “Turn West” or “Go North.” Who gives directions that way?

We had lived in Alabama for about six years when I ventured out to meet friends at one of our favorite redneck waterparks. Eric and I had taken the boys together many times. But I had never driven there alone. Eric gave me very good directions AND plugged the address into the navigation system. What could go wrong?

I was nervous as I headed out but found the park without getting lost, and we had a fun day with friends. It was getting late in the afternoon when everyone started to leave. I am usually the last to leave because it takes me so long to pack up. I should have asked if I could follow someone home, but I didn’t want them to have to wait on me. Besides, I had gotten there fine.

Somehow, I turned the wrong way out of the park. So as I tried to follow the directions Eric had given me in reverse, I just kept going on the wrong path. By the time I realized it, I felt like I was too far in so I might as well keep going. I thought maybe I would intersect with the right path and could hop on. Who knows? It could happen.

But the farther I went down the wrong path, the more lost I became. I started to panic. I called Eric from a stop sign in the middle of literally nowhere. There weren’t even any street signs. So when he asked me what road I was on, I couldn’t tell him. He said he couldn’t give me directions if I couldn’t tell him where I was. I started to cry. When that happened the boys started feeling a little panicked too. I knew I had to pull it together, but I had no idea where I was or how to get where I needed to be.

Eric told me the only thing I could do was turn around and go back. Then he could give me directions that would lead me on the path to Home.

A sharp turn

Last week, I talked about the path of the Blessed Man – how he walks, what he delights in, and what he is like. When he comes to maturity, he prospers in all he does.

Psalm 1 takes a sharp turn to contrast the blessed man with the path of the wicked. They are compared to chaff. Chaff is what is left after threshing corn and straw, that is then tossed up and blown away with the wind; it is rootless and weightless and benefits no one. ¹ Those who choose to live without God, like chaff that the wind drives away, are without substance and worthless. ²

Judgment Day is coming

The wicked chose the wrong path. When he stands before God in the final court of judgment, known as the Great White Throne, he will not be approved because he does not have a right standing with God. ³ This day of judgment will disclose each man’s work and the wicked will die with nothing.

Only the righteous who names are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life may enter God’s Kingdom. This is because they are justified by grace through faith in the work of Christ alone as He paid the penalty for sin with His own blood. ⁴

He never knew them

Some will try to change God’s mind because of all the good things they did here on earth, but it will be too late. Matthew 7 records some of the saddest verses in the Bible. ⁵ Many will try to enter heaven because of their good works, thinking the good things they did outweighed the bad. But God will say they are workers of iniquity because they trusted in those works to save instead of Christ alone. Then He will tell them to depart into outer darkness because He never knew them.

It’s truly tragic to let pride keep you from getting it right on this side of heaven.

Which path will you choose?

Psalm 1 ends as it begins, with a choice. There are two paths and there is no third. ¹ God puts the choice before each man. He intimately knows with care and affection those that believe Him and are His. ⁶ But those that choose to live outside of God’s plan will die in ruin. Thus the two paths will part forever. ⁷

Which path will you choose? Choose life and be eternally blessed before it’s too late.

Derek Kidner,  Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries, Volume 15, Psalm 1-72: An Introduction and Commentary . London: Intervarsity Press, 1973.

Amplified Bible. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation. Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright ^c 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission

Revelation 20:11-15

Romans 3:23-24

Matthew 7:21-23

Psalm 139:1-6

John 3:16

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Two Paths

Tue, 15 Oct 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Which path should I choose?

Have you ever had to decide between two choices, knowing what you choose will affect the course of your life? I couldn’t decide for sure what I wanted to be when I grew up. Part of me wanted to be a hairdresser (that’s what we called it in the 80s) and part of me wanted to be a nurse. Both helped people feel better and I couldn’t decide which path I would choose.

I used to practice cutting hair on my barbies and dolls. I think you can guess that I discovered their hair didn’t grow back. But my hair did. Much to my mother’s chagrin, I started practicing on my own hair. All through Jr High and High School my school pictures reflected these various attempts. Mom would say, “just as soon as your hair starts looking good again, you cut it all off.” I told her I thought short hair was cute and fit my sassy personality, but really I kept having to cut it shorter because I couldn’t get it even. Thankfully my mom took me to get my hair cut by a professional before my senior pictures.

When I was a freshman in high school, my twin sisters and I were in an automobile incident that left one of them in a coma for a short time. While she was in the hospital, helping care for her felt like second nature to me. Even though I was only 14, I stayed at her bedside as long as I could to try and comfort her. God used this later as I was making the big decision to choose a major in college. I fell in love with nursing and felt blessed to have assurance it was God’s calling for me. This turned out to be a the right path, especially since the haircutting wasn’t going so well. Sadly, to this day, I still cut my own bangs from time to time. My stylist is too good to me as she assures me that she would be happy to trim my bangs for free if I will just come in and let her do it instead of thinking I can chop them off myself.

Blessing or Doom?

Continuing in this series of reflections from the Psalter, Psalm 1 shows two paths a man can take and the results of the choice. The one who chooses the path of Life is blessed. Those that choose the path of wickedness are doomed.

It’s okay to be happy

Derek Kidner says it seems like Psalm 1 “was specially composed as an introduction to the whole Psalter.” ¹ It begins with Blessed. Kidner says a better word choice is Happy ¹

I grew up happy. I lived in a happy home. Everyone was not happy all of the time, but my parents did their best to ensure our happiness. Somewhere along the way, it felt more spiritual to have joy instead of happiness. Now that I know what extreme sorrow feels like, I no longer think joy and happiness need to be mutually exclusive. Joy is a beautiful word and fruit of the Holy Spirit and can exist in spite of circumstances. But to think I am more spiritual if I dramatically lay down my happiness as some kind of tribute to God, is not correct.

God’s children are happy, prosperous, and enviable because God shows them favor. ^2,3 This first chapter of the Psalms will give us more insight into the rest of the book as we see the contrast of the blessed man with the wicked.

The Path of Blessing

After blessed, this Psalm begins in the negative, what the blessed man does not do. He does not walk, sit, or stand with the wicked sinners and scoffers (those who are the farthest from repentance). This includes their counsel, their way of life, and where they gather to relax. In other words, the blessed man departs from the wicked who refuse to live by God’s covenant in the way he thinks, behaves, and belongs. ¹

What the blessed man does do is to desire God’s instruction and teaching. This is a choice he makes to protect and defend what enters his mind and influences his thinking. He habitually and actively ponders and studies God’s Word not out of obligation but because he delights in it.

Hmmmm…what does God use in my life, both positive and negative, to get me to delight in His Word?

I didn’t always feel blessed

I chose the path of blessing at a fairly young age and maybe I felt like I did something to deserve it. But after Nicholas died, I didn’t feel blessed. I was struggling with anger at God and I certainly did not feel like he was blessing me. So when I would hear someone talk about how blessed they were, I would cringe and think goody for you. God may be blessing you, but my life feels more like a curse. This struggle went on for years and was closely aligned with how my grief journey was progressing.

As I learned how to be thankful amidst suffering, my heart changed. I didn’t ever think God was upset with me for pouring out my true feelings of grief and sorrow as I cried out to Him for relief day after day. What He showed me during that time was that if I would start actively looking for things in which to thank Him, He would transform my heart and mind. And then I felt blessed in a deeper way.

A tree firmly planted

What the blessed man does for the LORD will prosper as He brings him to full maturity. ² The fruit that is yielded at just the right time is not for me alone, but for others to enjoy ³ in community. This fruit continues to blossom because it is free from the crippling damage of drought ² as seen by the effects of sin.

I want to be like a tree firmly planted and tended to by streams of water. This conjures up images of the Garden of Eden and makes me long for the New Heaven and New Earth to come. This theme is woven all throughout scripture and contemplating it is a steadying force. God kicked man out of the Garden but made a way for him to return.

It’s not too late

Please join me next week as I reflect on those who do not take this path, but instead chose a path of doom. The good news is, as long as you have breath, it’s not too late to change paths.

Derek Kidner,  Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries, Volume 15, Psalm 1-72: An Introduction and Commentary . London: Intervarsity Press, 1973.

Amplified Bible. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation. Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright ^c 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission

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God is Home

Tue, 08 Oct 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Coming Home

Eric and I are trying new things as empty nesters. I’m not sure most people would agree with our definition of fun. We hike, play pickle ball, read on our outdoor patio, follow certain podcasts, enjoy our sports teams, and try to come up with a good TV series to follow. I can tell we are getting older because lately these have included the history channel. Eric watches hiking videos, but he does that on his own. We also enjoy making dinner together and eating on our back porch.

We have never gone to a lot of concerts, but Eric surprised me for my birthday with tickets to see Drew and Ellie Holcomb on their Coming Home tour. We had it all planned out. It was during the week and Eric was even taking off work early so we could go eat beforehand. We were really looking forward to it. Every time one of the songs would come on from our playlist, we would sing along and look all dreamy at each other and smile.

When the day of the concert arrived, Eric went to work as usual. I was doing some writing from home and then checked on my mother in love. That’s when Eric called me at lunch to tell me he had bad news. Ellie lost her voice and the show was canceled. They weren’t rescheduling and refunded our money. This was the last concert on the tour, so they were going home. I thought for sure he was joking. When I left his mom’s, I came by the office so I could see the email for myself. We weren’t devastated. We knew what devastation felt like, and this wasn’t it. But we were definitely disappointed. We decided to make the best of the evening. Eric still came home early. I bought the Coming Home album and had it playing when he arrived. We made dinner together, sang, laughed, and played some games as we listened to the album on repeat. He doesn’t understand my fascination with Bananagrams but still played along. It turned out to be an enjoyable evening.

What we appreciated about the album were all the songs that sang about Home and the feeling we had when we sang along.

Moses suffers God’s judgment

As I continue to reflect on Psalm 90, even though Moses’s life is characterized by faithfulness to God, he suffers with the others who are experiencing God’s judgment.

The generation that rebelled against God’s plan are waiting to die in the wilderness. ¹ They are consumed by God’s anger and left without resource or excuse as God’s light uncovers the darkness of their sin, including the secret sins they have concealed from even themselves. ² Returning to the idea that life is brief, they have nothing to show for it but trouble and toil. ³ Moses is asking God to teach them how to make the most of their days by living well with a heart of wisdom that only comes from fearing God.

Death is a fact

Eugene Peterson says we live in a society that is characterized by a denial of death; prior to this century, most societies accepted that preparing for a good death was a goal they gave great attention to. ⁶ Death is a fact we now ignore as we live for the moment and fail to connect the consequences of our sin with God’s anger, which is intended to cause us to fear God in a way that encourages the reverent worship He is due. ^1,4

Moses begs God for mercy

Moses begins to bring this Psalm to a close by begging God to turn from His fierce anger and show compassion based on the loyal and unfailing faithfulness of His steadfast love promised through His covenant. ^1,4

The days of affliction seem long, but they will not last forever. Especially with eternal life in view, the singer can expect satisfaction, joy, and gladness far more days than they experienced sadness.

Next Gen

God was faithful to His covenant with Abraham as He brought the children of those who died in the wilderness into the promised land. Moses wrote Psalm 90 for them to sing as they remembered God’s faithfulness to those who fear Him. ⁵

God’s abiding Glory is the covenant heritage to His children. ² His beauty and favor is on us and establishes the work of our hands. Satisfying work is not part of the curse. When Christ conquered death with His resurrection, He guaranteed work has eternal significance. ⁵

Moses is teaching the next generation and generations to come that what we do here for God’s Glory has eternal significance as we pursue what He is has called us to. Our labor is not vain as God blesses, affirms, and establishes our work and delights in us now with assurance of His blessing forever.

God is my Home

Studying Psalm 90 has helped me see, regardless of my circumstances or location, as I delight in Him and He in me, wherever God is dwelling is my HOME now and for eternity. And that’s worth celebrating.

Amplified Bible. La Habra, CA: The Lockman Foundation. Scripture quotations taken from the Amplified Bible, Copyright ^c 1954, 1958, 1962, 1964, 1965, 1987 by the Lockman Foundation. Used by permission

Derek Kidner,  Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries, Volume 16, Psalm 73-150: An Introduction and Commentary . London: Intervarsity Press, 1975.

Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

John Macarthur, The Macarthur Study Bible . Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2006.

Eugene Peterson, Psalms: Prayers of the Heart . Downers Grove, IL: Intervarsity Press, 2000.

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A Place Called Home

Tue, 01 Oct 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Welcome Home

When are you coming Home? Please come Home. Welcome Home. We tend to put a lot of emphasis on making our dwelling place feel like Home. But what is Home? It can be hard to put into words what Home is like, but you know it when you’re there. No matter how long you’ve been gone, it’s the place you always want to come back to -where you feel the most satisfied, safe, and secure. It’s the place where you can completely be yourself and you know you are still loved.

Often, Home is associated with the people there. I grew up in a Home with parents who loved me and sisters who doted over me. I felt protected and taken care of, and I flourished in that environment. When I got married, I expected the same feelings to follow. They mostly did, but not always as God showed me I expected my husband to fulfill longings that only He could satisfy.

As I matured in my faith and after much suffering through various things God has asked me to endure, I realized God wanted me to experience a taste of Home here, but that ultimately what I was looking for could only be found with Him. My beautiful house, view of the lake from my back porch, comfortable couch and big screen TV couldn’t do it. Being the best mom I knew how to be to my boys has been the greatest reward of my life, but there was still something I was looking for. Not even laying down every night next to my soul mate and waking up together to enjoy First Light was the answer. Sure, all of those things are wonderful, and I appreciate every last one. I don’t take them for granted. But until I realized there is nothing that replaces God as my ultimate HOME, I was never going to be completely satisfied.

Psalm 90. A prayer of Moses.

As I continue in this series on Cries of Praise from the Psalter , Psalm 90 is a prayer of Moses. But it is really a lament. He is feeling the weight of being lumped in with a rebellious people who are not going to enter the Promised Land as God’s judgment for their unfaithfulness. Moses asks for mercy as he remembers God’s character and discovers judgment is not last word in his story.

The Eternal God is my Home

The Sovereign Ruler of the universe is our Master, but also ours to enjoy. ¹ He has been the dwelling place of His children for all generations. When I am sensing that there must be something more to life, eternity is the answer to feeling homeless. ¹ God is my Home. He is my Sanctuary for protection and security and sense of well-being. Abiding with Him is my Refuge. I get a sense of that now but will more fully in the future.

Before He created anything, He was. He has always been and always will be The Eternal God.

Eternity is the answer to my sense of homelessness, but I cannot wrap my finite mind around the existence of an Eternal God completely. I can somewhat consider a Kingdom to come as I long for Heaven, but to consider God had no beginning and just has always been is more than I can fathom.

Impoverished view of God

Because of man’s sin in the Garden of Eden, death became part of the curse. Commentators agree that even though Moses uses a different word for dust in Psalm 90:3, he has Genesis 3:19 in view here when he says God returns man to dust. ² Children of man are from the earth and to the corruption of death they will return. This is a call for repentance, a call to show their need for a Savior. Christ is the only Savior and the answer to death and separation from God.

I am becoming convinced that the reason we struggle with the doctrine of salvation is because we have an impoverished view of God’s character -specifically His eternality and omnipresence. Because He is not bound by time or space, He can plan what He knew would happen and still be sovereign over it all as He adopts His children who would never choose Him otherwise. And yet, we are not robots as He delights in our willingness to love Him more than anything else as a reasonable act of worship.

I am choosing to accept what I cannot fully comprehend as I ask the Holy Spirit to continue to teach and guide me in my understanding of Truth, knowing there will come a day when it all makes sense.

Man’s life is brief

God’s perspective of time is radically different from ours. In contrast to God’s eternality, even if you consider the longest man who ever lived, man’s life is brief. When Moses says in Psalm 90:4, a thousand years in God’s sight is but as yesterday when it is past, it is as if he is saying it’s all the same to God. ³ This is also quoted in 2 Peter 3:8-11 when God offers salvation to every single human being as a bona fide expression of His good will. ¹ He is patient and longsuffering until all who are His Beloved come to repentance. But then, when the time comes, Christ’s Return will be sudden .

Moses compares the brevity of life with a watch in the night, being swept away with a flood, a vague and forgotten dream, and grass that withers. Like the promise of early morning, there is hope for renewal. That hope feels short lived as the evening fades. Is Moses questioning whether God will give His people a second thought?

Judgment is not the last word

In awestruck wonder I continue to reflect on an Eternal God being my true Home, especially as I consider how short life here is in comparison. Tune in next week for the conclusion of my reflections on Psalm 90. Along with the Israelites in the wilderness, Moses feels consumed by God’s anger, but judgment is not the last word.

Derek Kidner,  Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries, Volume 16, Psalm 73-150: An Introduction and Commentary . London: Intervarsity Press, 1975.

Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

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Entering the Sanctuary

Tue, 17 Sep 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

The Presence of God

As you recall from last week, I am reflecting on Psalm 73 where the writer sees wicked people all around him prospering. It isn’t fair and God doesn’t seem to be doing anything. Just when Asaph feels like he can’t take any more of the darkness, he is reminded of some basic responsibilities to the family of God. That is when he enters the Sanctuary. Light breaks in as he goes into the Presence of a Holy God. Then he sees everything so clearly. His perspective is completely changed. As he worships, he is humbled by God’s holiness and he is able to see the full picture.

Christ changes everything

I can hardly articulate what it means to me to enter the presence of a Holy God. Some have suggested that God is like their daddy and they feel like they can crawl up in His lap. Honestly, that image just seems irreverent to me. As I consider examples from the Old Testament, I am struck with fear and awe. Isaiah said, “woe is me, I am a dead man” when he was in the presence of holiness. ¹ Poor Uzzah placed his hand on the Ark of the Covenant to keep it from falling off its cart and was struck dead. ² The priests offered sacrifices daily to atone for sin, but only once a year could the high priest enter the Holy of Holies. If he didn’t follow the prescribed rules, the penalty was death ³

As I contemplate the difference between these sinners and myself, the only thing that separates me from them is The Advent. After Christ came and gave Himself as the perfect sacrifice, everything changed. He conquered death when He rose again and was welcomed into His Father’s presence where He sits at His right hand making intercession on my behalf as the Great High Priest. Now I can boldly approach His Throne. ⁴ He invites me to do so. But may I never forget, it’s only possible because when a Holy God looks on me, He sees the righteousness of Christ credited to me as the debt of my sin has been paid in full.

Worth getting up for

My favorite time of the day has become my morning quiet time. It’s worth getting up for. I feel unworthy, but as light breaks into darkness it’s as if God is speaking to me.

Worshipping God as He truly is brings clarity and spiritual blessings to our lives better than any worldly riches ever could. Then we see the sad truth that the outcome of living in wickedness comes to a dreadful end and will unmake everything they lived for. ⁴

Phantoms of their former selves

God is longsuffering and gives many opportunities to turn to Him. Eventually, if someone never repents of their sin and continues to rebelliously shake their fist in the face of a Sovereign God, He will reject them and dismiss them as of no further account or interest. Then, in separation from God forever, as phantoms of their former selves, they will wake up to a life of eternal terror with no prospect of goodness or gladness. ⁴

The key to not envying those who seem to have it all here as they carelessly revel in their sin, is to consider their end.

Bitterness dissipated

Envy blinded Asaph. But when he entered God’s presence, his bitterness dissipated. Asaph was harboring bitter thoughts down deep in his soul as he envied the wicked. Coming into God’s presence gave him clarity. As he received instruction from God’s Word, he humbly recognized how foolish and short-sighted he was being. He didn’t realize at the time, but God was holding Asaph with His powerful and protective right hand. And will continue to until He receives him into the Glories of Heaven. To which Asaph realizes nothing on earth compares. Asaph’s life here on earth will come to an end. But he is no longer worried about that.

But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever 5

Those who are unfaithful to God will perish in their spiritual whoredom. They are contrasted with those whose chief and only good is to be near to God and put their trust in Him as a refuge. The only fitting response is to tell the world of all He has done and will do for His children. He is their Home.

When we compare our hard and sometimes painful living with success as defined by the world, we may feel like loving and serving God is all in vain.

That is, UNTIL we enter His Sanctuary.

Worshipping in His Presence changes everything!

THEN, we clearly see the Truth. Discerning the devastating end of the wicked makes all the difference in how we view not only them, but also our own short lives. This life is a vapor. Eternity is forever.

Isaiah 6:1-6

2 Samuel 6:3-8

Leviticus 16:2, 13

Hebrews 4:14-16

Derek Kidner,  Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries, Volume 16, Psalm 73-150: An Introduction and Commentary . London: Intervarsity Press, 1975.

Numbers 18:20

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That’s Not Fair

Tue, 10 Sep 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

That’s Not Fair

If you are like me, there were many times you heard your children say, “that’s not fair.” When they were young it was bedtime, limiting what they watched on TV, or not buying another toy. As they got older, monitoring who they could hang out with and the music they listened to did not incense them nearly as much as saying no to playing video games online with friends. Life growing up in a disciplined household could feel unfair. It was hard for our children to see we had boundaries because we loved them. Sometimes they wondered aloud why their parents had such antiquated rules that threatened their social existence. Other parents did not have such rules, and it didn’t seem fair that they did. Like our parents before us, we proceeded to respond with “life’s not fair.”

Life should be fair

There is something innate in us that thinks life should be fair. Things should be equitable. Justice should be served and preserved. Well, until we need mercy, that is. And then what we think is fair and just is tempered by wanting to escape the consequences of our actions. As I continue to grow in my understanding of God’s character, He truly is the only Righteous Judge Who perfectly tempers justice with mercy. And yet, that is what He says is required of man in Micah 6:8. ¹

Why does evil prosper

I have been anticipating studying Psalm 73 for a while. It addresses something with which every child of God seems to wrestle:

If God is so good, why do the wicked prosper?

Why must I suffer when I am trying to be the best Christian I know how to be? Meanwhile I see wicked people all around me not being held accountable for the evil that emanates from their pores. And on top of that, those that perform the wicked deeds are successful beyond belief without a care in the world. All of their followers are chanting how great they are, like they are a gift to mankind, some kind of savior. God, that’s not fair! Why don’t You do something?

God is truly good

This is how the writer of Psalm 73, Asaph, felt. As I continue in my reflections of the Psalter, I read Psalm 73 and let all the questions come tumbling out.

It begins with the word Truly , and I am already pausing in reflective thought. Just when I think I have a grasp on Who God is, my understanding is challenged so that I grow to know Him all over again in a deeper way. All of Him, even the parts that challenge me because my finite mind cannot fathom the Glories of His character. Asaph has found God to be truly good.

I have a hard time defining Hebrew words. The lexicon I have access to as part of my Bible software says good is used elsewhere to say pleasant, desirable, usable, kind. ² God is good. It is a fact. It is Who He is. It’s not up for debate. In His goodness, God allows me to come to understand what good really means, in part by answering to whom is He good and why.

Grace extended to the pure in heart

God’s covenant of Grace is extended to all of Israel, this includes the Gentiles like me who were grafted in to the Faith Family. God called out a nation through Abraham so that He could teach them Who He is and what it meant for them to be His children. It was always God’s kind intention to bless all nations through the one nation with which He started. Anyone could come into the family of God if they were pure in heart.

Speaking of pure in heart, Psalm 73 uses the word heart six times. You could say it is a key word. Martin Buber has pointed out, that ‘the state of the heart determines whether a man lives in the truth, in which God’s goodness is experienced, or in the semblance of truth, where the fact that it goes ill with him is confused with the illusion that God is not good to him’. ³

Is the basis of goodness a lie?

Asaph is tempted to think the basis of goodness is a lie. In his doubting, he nearly stumbled when he saw the foolishly arrogant wicked were prospering. He says he was envious that they seemed to not have a care in the world.

The Message vividly captures this scene:

At the height of their arrogance, the wicked deny God cares or even knows what is going on down here on earth. They blasphemously speak out against all things good and godly with their malicious words. And big crowds follow them. Even church people get caught up in it as they get well paid for their sin.

Is it worth it?

Asaph is asking what he has gotten out of struggling along trying to live a life of faith before a holy God. All it has gotten him is more pain and trouble than he knows what to do with. Just when he thinks it is all in vain, asking the question helps reframe his mind. As he allows God to search his heart, he remembers basic responsibilities and loyalties to God and his faith family. ³ If he had given full expression to his feelings, he would have discouraged other’s faith. And yet it is a painful and wearisome task to try to understand. You can sense his struggle as he considers the wealth of relationships in the family of God.

Even though he is still frustrated, Asaph is starting to at least consider how his words and actions may affect others. That is when he enters the Sanctuary.

Tune in next week as I reflect on how entering God’s presence changes everything.

Enhanced brown-Driver-Briggs Hebrew and English Lexicon. Clarendon Press: Oxford, 1906.

Derek Kidner,  Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries, Volume 16, Psalm 73-150: An Introduction and Commentary . London: Intervarsity Press, 1975.

Eugene Peterson, The Message: The Bible in Contemporary Language. Colorado Springs, NavPress, 2005. Scripture taken from THE MESSAGE. Copyright ^© 1993, 1994, 1995, 1996, 2000, 2001, 2002. Used by permission of NavPress Publishing Group.

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When is Vengeance Okay

Tue, 27 Aug 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Vengeance! War changes your perspective.

I never met my grandfather. He died from a massive heart attack when my mom was pregnant with my oldest sister. My mom tells us stories about him and that she was a daddy’s girl. She didn’t meet him until she was three years old. He built bridges in Europe during World War II and fought at Normandy. His wife was a few months pregnant when he left. He could have postponed his deployment for a time to see his child be born, but draft dodgers were worse than a dog. Wanting life with his young wife and child to get back to as normal as possible, he never spoke of the war when he returned three and a half years later. But no one was immune from the toll paid by the violence and loss of life.

I have never experienced war, but I try to imagine how living through it would impact my perspective. I recall my grandmother’s bitterness toward those who killed her loved ones. Like so many others she knew, even though her husband came home and they were blessed with another daughter, some of her family died in the war. Her 18 year old beloved brother was killed on the front lines of that same war. She never got over it. She wished ill on whole nations and earnestly asked God to give them what was coming to them. I remember feeling a little surprised at her harsh words so many years later. She was kind and hardworking and loved to help others. Even as a child I tried to put her feelings in the context of her great loss. She was not alone in her sentiments.

But her mother, my great grandmother, did not seem as outspoken about her cries for vengeance, even though she suffered perhaps greater losses. Her husband was in a battle in World War I and their unit was bombed. When he awoke, he was the only one alive. He was what they called back then, “shell-shocked.” He eventually mostly recovered but was forever changed. Because of this and losing her son in war, my great grandmother had more of a resigned way about her. War was a part of life.

Remember, O LORD

If you recall from last week, the people of Judah did not believe Jerusalem would ever fall. They were treating God’s temple like a rabbit’s foot. They thought they could do as they pleased, disobeying God and playing the harlot with their unfaithfulness, and would not be held accountable. God sent them warning after warning through his prophets, but they would not listen. God is longsuffering, but eventually His righteous wrath filled to the brim and spilled over in judgment in the form of captivity.

As I continue reflecting on Psalm 137, verses 7-9 come with a warning. What are your initial thoughts as God’s people cry for vengeance? Is this okay?

God, please act!

Yikes! These people want vengeance and they are calling on the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe to attend to action. ¹ They are saying, “Remember and regard Your promises to us, LORD! We are waiting for justice!”

The Edomites represent all who hate God’s people and were allied with Babylonia in the fall of Jerusalem. Even though God used the captivity of His people to get them to remember Him, He still held their captors accountable for their actions. There would come a day when the LORD would repay those who mercilessly destroyed Jerusalem. There are many places in scripture where this is foretold.

The people of the day functioned under the principle of the Talion, which said the punishment should fit the crime. ¹ This was because man was made in the image of God. It was not supposed to be carried out as personal retribution. Being the sinner that he is, mankind escalated this idea as he justified carrying out excessive violence when conquering a people during time of war. This historically included heinous acts against women and children. ¹

So is vengeance okay? I’m confused.

The writer wants us to feel the fire of his desperation as he abruptly ends this Psalm. But when he says the nation that conquers Babylon and does to them what they did to Judah will be blessed, it just leads me to more questions.

How as Christians can we reconcile this? Is it okay to rejoice when our enemies suffer? Are we to believe vengeance is acceptable because they are getting what they deserve? What happened to loving your enemies and praying for those who persecute you?

The need for a Savior.

God chose a nation to be His people so they could serve as a picture to the other nations of what it looked like to live with God as their King. The purpose was to lead all nations to love and worship the one true God. They were never permitted to indulge in hatred and vengeance. God alone is able to exact vengeance as He tempers justice with mercy. ² They were to wait on God, but His people failed over and over. And so do we.

From the very first sin in Genesis, the Old Testament always pointed to the need for a Savior. When Christ came, His death and resurrection changed everything. ³ Christians can love their enemies and bless those who curse them by praying for their salvation and reconciliation with God. This doesn’t mean the sin of our enemies is okay or that we are supposed to act like it doesn’t hurt. It means we can show love because Christ did. And we show love by praying our enemy’s blind eyes are open to their need for a Savior, remembering we would be like them if it were not for God’s kindness shown to us. As we are doing this, we trust that because He conquered death, He is able to right all of the wrongs. Even though it feels like a long time, there is coming a day when Christ will return. He asks us to be diligently watchful as we continue to trust and obey, remembering all the while, His kindness is greater than what He asks us to endure. ⁴

God is not mocked.

Do we confuse God’s longsuffering character with inaction? I am both surprised and liberated as I grow in my understanding of who God is and who He is not. There is an appearance of God being mocked as He gives endless opportunities. But be not deceived. The Sovereign Ruler of the Universe who perfectly balances justice and mercy is never really mocked. ⁵ At some point He has already determined, there will be an accounting. His righteous wrath will spill over in judgment. Those that denied Jesus Christ as Lord will have no more chances. They will forever be condemned to death and separation. May we pray for those around us to see the Truth before it’s too late. That’s how we best show love to our enemies.

If you would be willing to comment, I would love to hear your thoughts on this one.

Below is a picture of my grandfather. PFC Orville R. Sparks, commended for service at Normandy, WW II.

Leviticus 19:17-18; Psalm 83; Isaiah 47:1-9; Jeremiah 51:24

Derek Kidner,  Tyndale Old Testament Commentaries, Volume 16, Psalm 73-150: An Introduction and Commentary . London: Intervarsity Press, 1975.

Matthew 5:1-12; Ephesians 4:32; Galatians 5:5; Philippians 3:20; Romans 8:18

Galatians 6:7-8

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Should I be Deconstructing my Faith?

Tue, 11 Jun 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Do we just want our ears tickled?

Have you heard the term deconstructing your faith? I had heard of it but really didn’t understand what it meant. But then a young lady in my Ladies Bible Study started explaining it to me, and I realized, “oh yeah, that’s what that podcast with Alisa Childers my husband listens to warns about.” So what is deconstructing your faith and is it important to understand today? This will get a little technical, but please stick with me to the end.

Is there a time coming when people will not listen to good Bible teaching? Paul says yes. In the last letter he wrote before he died, he wanted Timothy to be ready to preach the word. Paul mentored Timothy like he was a son. We can pay attention when Paul knows he is going to die soon but writes one final letter in 2 Timothy. What is it that he finds so important to say before he dies? He tells Timothy to be ready to preach the word with great patience and understanding. This includes reproving, rebuking, and exhorting. Why does he want Timothy to be ready? Because a time is coming when people will not endure sound doctrine but instead want their ears tickled with teaching according to their own desires (2 Timothy 4). This is my last Reflection from The 40-Day Feast by Wendy Speake and it comes from Day 36, When Progressive is Regressive .

Deconstructing Your Faith

Jon Bloom wrote an article for desiringGod.org that proved to be very helpful to my understanding. ¹ You can access it for yourself. It is not long. What I gained from it is this: the starting point of a conversation about deconstructing your faith should be how one is defining it. Deconstruction can be so confusing as it relates to faith because it has many different meanings in different contexts.

In some cases, deconstruction leads to a strengthening of faith. For example, Bloom quotes Paul Tripp’s use of the word to critically dismantle cultural influences that distort and redefine the faith in unbiblical, harmful ways . And then there’s Francis Schaeffer’s faith crisis that led to a greater confidence in the core truths of Christianity . Yet, former evangelicals who now identify as progressive Christians have arrived at the conviction that certain historic evangelical doctrines must be adapted or altered through a critical dismantling of beliefs in order to interact in a world that is more exposed to religious diversity . And at its extreme worst, the result of this type of deconstruction or dismantling of one’s faith can be deconversion from Christianity . Sadly, this is the most common use of deconstruction. It reminds me of those in Hebrews 6 and 10 who participated fully in all God had to offer, but then later rejected the offering, thus rejecting Christ Himself as the only Way. People that you would have sworn on the witness stand were true believers, but then when things got toooo hard or the pain wouldn’t let up, they didn’t persevere.

My Response

How does this understanding instruct me to live differently? Like Timothy, Paul’s message while he is awaiting execution should cause me to consider what is most important. Be ready to speak sound doctrine and keep learning how to continue speaking it in love in this present culture. My pastor says it like this, “we are aliens here, but we need to be winsome weirdos.” In other words, I should look different from the culture I live in and expect to stand out, but not because I am offensive. The Gospel is an equal opportunity offender, but I should try to win over those God brings my way with my loving speech and actions that are grounded in His Word. Speak Truth but do it in a way that communicates I am doing it with a heart of genuine love. I cannot be afraid to stand out or speak up for what is right, but I must do so with compassion, trusting God will go before me.

What if my friends abandon me?

What breaks my heart in 2 Timothy 4 more than those who need their ears tickled is Paul feeling abandoned by his friends. He is in prison awaiting trial and subsequent execution and says Luke is the only one left with him. Some of his friends are fulfilling God’s call to their own missions that prevent them from being there. Are Paul’s feelings justified? He even asks the church Timothy is pastoring to bring Mark with them when they come, but to my knowledge they never make it. This is the same Mark who Paul and Barnabus departed ways over, that Paul said was not useful and Barnabus gave a second chance to. He has seen Mark’s growth under Barnabus’s mentoring and realizes he would be beneficial to the ministry. This is the same Mark who wrote the Gospel account according to Peter’s eye witness. In contrast consider Demas, who had been on missionary journeys with Paul in the past but has now shown he is not faithful and has left Paul because he loved the world more. Paul also states Alexander did much harm to furthering the Gospel, so he’s out. It’s just Luke. And that makes me sad for him after he suffered greatly to fulfill the calling on his life.

But God is faithful

I am comforted knowing Paul’s reward is great because he forsook the pleasures of this world for something better. I will get to meet him some day and ask about all his adventures and writing major parts of the New Testament. Paul is a witness that God stands with His faithful, rescues them, and brings them safely to heaven. He has fought the good fight, he has finished the race, he has kept the faith. There is a crown of righteousness waiting for him. May that be said of me and you and all who look forward to Christ’s glorious appearing.

Jon Bloom, “What Does ‘Deconstruction’ Even Mean?”. DesiringGod.org. Feb 15, 2022.

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But I Don’t Understand

Tue, 04 Jun 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Am I allowed to admit the Bible is confusing?

As Bible-believing Christians, are we allowed to admit that sometimes the Bible is confusing? I claimed to be a Christian when I was 9, but I was 19 when I started to really want to read my Bible and understand it. What I discovered was, it wasn’t that easy. Only I kinda felt like I couldn’t tell anyone that I didn’t really understand what I was reading. I would open my Bible and read 5 verses. Not really knowing what they were saying but determined to keep going, the next day I would open my Bible and read 5 more verses. I repeated this pattern over and over for months. As I kept on reading, eventually the Holy Spirit started to help me make some sense of it. Somewhere along the line, I started actually asking the Holy Spirit to help me understand BEFORE I started reading. Relatively soon I could read a whole chapter as I was building a little at a time upon the previous day’s reading.

It was about this time that the Lord introduced me to a young man who would become my husband. And he mentored me more than anyone else ever had to learn how to ingest God’s Word and meditate on it so the Holy Spirit could guide me through its precepts. This was the beginning of a long line of good teachers the Lord has put in my life to encourage my hunger for Him and His Word. Now my appetite is insatiable as God’s Word burns within me.

Why Bible-believing Christians are not Bible-reading Christians

As I continue my response to The 40-Day Feast by Wendy Speake, what stood out to me in the fifth week was When the Bible is Confusing from Day 33. Wendy says, “One of the most common reasons why Bible-believing Christians are not Bible-reading Christians is because they don’t understand what they are reading.” And she uses Luke 24 to illustrate her point.

Jesus had been crucified and buried and then conquered death when He rose again. Now He was walking the Earth in His resurrected body for 40 days until He ascended to Heaven to be seated at the right hand of the Father. On this first day, the women who loved Jesus went to the tomb to take spices they prepared, but when they arrived the stone closing the tomb where Jesus was buried was rolled away and Jesus wasn’t there. Two angels greeted them asking, “Why do you seek the living among the dead? He is not here but has risen as He said.” (verse 5-7) Then they remembered what Jesus had taught them and they ran to tell the disciples. Some of the disciples did not believe them, but Peter rose and ran to the tomb and then went home marveling at what had happened.

On the same day, two of Jesus’s followers had left Jerusalem in confusion and frustration. While they were on their way to Emmaus, Jesus met up with them but kept them from recognizing Him while He explained to them what the Law and Prophets said concerning Him. Scripture was being fulfilled before their very eyes, but because they misunderstood it, they were about to miss the best part. Jesus, in His patience and kindness took the time to explain all of this was part of God’s plan in redemptive history. Later that evening, when they were breaking bread together, Jesus did open their eyes. And it was like an Aha! Moment, “Were not our hearts burning within us while He talked with us on the road and opened the Scriptures to us?” (verse 32)

What is my response to God’s Word?

What is my response when I meet with God in His Word? Like the women, do I love Jesus more than anything and minister to others like I am ministering to Him? Am I excited and ready to jump into action like Peter? Or do I leave in frustration and misunderstanding before God has an opportunity to reveal the best part?

As I study God’s Word, if I ask the Holy Spirit to help me understand, it burns in my heart until I to act in obedience. Then the real miracle happens as I get to be a part of the Sovereign Plan of God. I wake up asking Him what He has for me today. It is usually more than I can handle, which is the point. What He has for me requires Resurrection Power to be accomplished. As I read God’s Word, and then yield in obedience to His Plan, it’s always satisfying and often times exhilarating.

I don’t want to miss a thing

Jesus Himself explained the Scriptures while He was with His followers. But then He said He had to go so that the Holy Spirit could come, like the Holy Spirit living in us to guide and teach us the Scriptures was even better than Jesus Christ explaining them Himself. It is hard to believe that’s true, and yet, when I act in obedience I feel the burn and call to act. I never want to get over this feeling! It’s a good life full of exciting adventures and the best is yet to come! I don’t want to miss a single thing God has for me here while I wait for Him to Return.

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Am I Allowed to Be Happy

Tue, 28 May 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Is Joy more spiritual than Happiness?

I grew up happy with parents who loved me and sisters who doted over me. I was bullied just a little in high school when I started growing in my faith but still enjoyed sports and going out with friends. I went off to college, became a nurse, got married, and started my adult life. Somewhere along the way I started to believe I was less spiritual if I wanted to continue to be happy. I reasoned it’s because happiness is based on circumstance, and joy is a fruit of the Spirit. So if I was truly spiritual, I would pursue joy not happiness. As if being a Christian meant wanting to be happy was bad.

Then the terrible worst happened and my firstborn son died tragically. I spent a good amount of time in the pit, but eventually what I learned on my grief journey was that joy was a byproduct of thankfulness and love. The more I chose to be thankful and then reach out in acts of love, even though my own heart was broken, the more the Holy Spirit produced the fruit of joy that found a way to coexist with the sorrow that threatened to overwhelm me. Joy really could exist in spite of the tragic circumstances. It was hearty enough to sing a melody so that the sorrow didn’t take as much space as it used to.

But being happy? Was I allowed to ever be happy again? If grief was the price of love, how could I even contemplate being happy? I had resolved that I would never truly be happy again. And strangely I was okay with living that way for the rest of my life. After all, I had joy.

I made a deal with God

I made a deal of sorts with God. If He continued His part of producing joy to coexist with the sorrow I was feeling, I would choose to live until I was about 80. And I mean really live, all in, every day getting up and giving it my best shot. But when I turned 80, I wanted Him to bring me Home. Even though it still felt like a long time, this seemed like a reasonable deal to me. Considering there were many days I struggled to go on, I felt like I was being generous.

Can you just imagine the Sovereign God of the Universe? He already numbered my days. Who was I to tell Him how many I would give Him? Thankfully my Heavenly Father is longsuffering and His steadfast love endures forever.

God did the miraculous

Then the completely unexpected happened. In His due time, He decided in His goodness to lift the heavy cloud of grief that previously threatened to unleash a storm of terror without any notice. It was weeks before the ninth anniversary of Nicholas’s death. I was reliving the horror of the tragedy and crying out to God, yet again . Even though my head knew it wasn’t possible, my heart was hoping for a different outcome – this time. Then, suddenly, AS I was crying out, the Lord released me from the crushing hold of grief’s grip!

At first, I wasn’t sure what was happening. I could physically feel the heaviness lifting. It’s as if God was saying He used this tragedy to do a work in me that otherwise would not have been completed. And since that time, I can breathe and not feel pain, inhaling deeply and letting it out slowly. I can see in color. And I can laugh and not feel guilty. Can it be that I am actually feeling happy?

Blessed is the man

That brings us to Psalm 1 from Day 28 of The 40-Day Feast. It begins with Blessed is the man …In Hebrew this word for blessed refers to a person’s state of bliss and is elsewhere in the Old Testament translated happy ¹ . My pastor, Tom Richter, spoke on Psalm 1 at the beginning of this year. Is Happiness Possible? – Psalm 1 . He says the Bible is not ashamed to talk about happiness, “If you want happiness, come and get it.”

Psalm 1 says the truly happy person finds his happiness as he delights in and meditates on the Law of the LORD, as if being truly satisfied is because he goes back for second and third helpings.

What is the result? He will be like a fruit yielding tree that doesn’t wither because it’s planted by streams of water, where the roots grow deep. If I apply this to myself, I will prosper because I am planted by the source of the power. How fruitful I am doesn’t depend on me. It is produced when I am planted in God’s Word and give His voice priority.

What will keep him from being happy? Walking in wicked counsel, standing with sinners, and sitting with scoffers. Again, if I apply this to myself, I am influenced by the world when I go with the flow because I don’t have the energy to think too much about doing otherwise. Soon the world’s ways start to blend in until I can’t tell the difference between Truth and lies. I am tempted to become cynical of what God intended to be good. That’s not what I want.

God knows the end of both the wicked and the righteous. If I want to be counted with the righteous, then I will keep on desiring the riches of God’s Word more than anything. That’s what will lead to lasting, blissful… Happiness.

¹ Warren Baker, D.R.E. and Eugene Carpenter, PhD, The Complete Word Study Dictionary of The Old Testament. AMG, Chattanooga, 2003.

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Radical Community

Tue, 21 May 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

A community that comes together

Continuing in my 40-Day Feast journey, I spent a little extra time in Acts 2 from Day 18, Hey Y’all ! When Eric and I moved to Alabama, one of the things that was especially surprising was the hospitality. We had heard about southern hospitality but had never really experienced it. Our community of close friends including those we went to church with were always willing to sacrificially minister to us, but not people we didn’t even really know who happened to live in the same neighborhood.

When we moved here, we saw people showing up with casseroles or chainsaws, depending on the need at the moment. That didn’t necessarily mean they wanted to be our close friends, but they came from a long line of folks who looked out for one another when tragedy struck. And they weren’t about to let anyone in their community go in need. If we are in a crisis, we can rest assured our neighbor is going to show up with mama’s best chicken, green beans cooked down with bacon, and banana pudding.

It may not perfectly illustrate the fellowship that comes as Christians gather around God’s Word and break bread, but it does give a visible picture of what a community coming together with a common goal can look like.

Jesus had to go

Just before Jesus ascended to heaven, He told His disciples He had to go so the Comforter could come. I am not sure why the resurrected Jesus and the Holy Spirit could not be on earth at the same time. Maybe because Jesus went to make intercession for us before the Father’s Throne of Grace. When He left to be our Great High Priest is when the Holy Spirit began to literally embody believers. And from that time forward, as soon as someone accepts Jesus Christ as Lord, the Holy Spirit enters and testifies to their spirit the Truth that comforts, guides, protects, and teaches. We know nothing of God apart from The Word and The Spirit working together.

The day this all began was on Pentecost. It is a feast 50 days after Passover where Jews come to Jerusalem to gather together and remember God and celebrate His goodness. On this particular Pentecost, Peter had something to say.

The Day the Holy Spirit rained down

Judas had already been replaced and the new 12 were meeting together in a house with 120 others who were devoting themselves to prayer, waiting to hear from the Father, as Jesus instructed. When the Day of Pentecost came, suddenly there came from heaven a noise that sounded like a violent rushing wind. A gale force spread like wildfire as the Holy Spirit filled them, enabling them to speak in different but known languages.

There were many devout Jews from all over the world staying in Jerusalem because of Passover and Pentecost. The noise was so great they heard it too, and the sound compelled them to come from the four corners of the city. As they arrived, they heard the Galileans who had been filled with the Spirit speaking in each of these Jews’ own native languages describing the mighty work of God.

3,000 and counting

That’s when Peter stood up to speak. He had been empowered by the Holy Spirit and he didn’t hold back. He reminded them that the prophet Joel said this would happen. Then he spoke of Jesus Christ’s life, ministry, crucifixion, and resurrection of which they were witnesses. In Acts 2:36 Peter says, “Let all of Israel know for certain that God has made Him both Lord and Christ, this Jesus whom you crucified.”

When the people heard this, they were cut to the heart and asked what they should do. Peter told them to repent and be baptized in the Name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of their sins and they would receive the Holy Spirit. About 3,000 of them decided to do just that.

The miracle of this life changing day resulted in the people wanting to stick around and keep fellowshipping together. They devoted themselves to teaching and prayer and breaking bread. They went so far as to sell all of their possessions so they could distribute to one another as each one had a need. Going to the temple daily to worship, they then returned to their homes to eat together. Everyone had all things in common as they praised God with glad hearts. People saw the love they had for one another and wanted to join them. The Lord added to their number day by day those who were being saved.

Is this what Christian Community should look like?

What would happen if we as Christians continued to live like this? I have been asking myself if I am listening to the Holy Spirit and submitting to His Power in all areas of my time, treasure, and talents. If I am being honest, I fear this looks a lot like redistribution of wealth. And no self-respecting Republican should want a part of that kind of Socialism!

But then the thought occurs that maybe God’s idea for the Church to minister as each one had need is a way to show what a radically changed life in Christ looks like. Everything belongs to God, and He expects me to be a good manager of what He generously gives. Is my heart becoming cynical when I would rather judge others’ motives and justify my selfishness by misrepresenting what God meant when He said through Paul in 1 Thessalonians 3, “if they don’t work, they shouldn’t eat?” Sure, I give to the food pantry at our church. I have even shown up to share the Gospel before. But I wonder how much more God would show up if I had the courage to sell everything I had and live in true community with my Brothers and Sisters in Christ. Now that would be radical! Not caring or comparing who made more or gave more, just happy to share together as God provided. I have a feeling this would look a lot more like heaven than how I do it now. I may have to wait until Christ returns to find out, but maybe not.

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Search Me and Know My Heart

Tue, 14 May 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

How does the Bible know me?

I had sought to understand the Bible to know God and to show my love for Him through my obedience to what it says. I had not contemplated how the Bible searches me and knows my heart. This knowledge not only motivates me but is also humbling in the best way as it leads to a better understanding of what it means to Praise God! I can’t stop considering this.

The Book that understands me

As I continue to reflect on The 40-Day Feast by Wendy Speake, what stands out in the second week is “The Book That Understands Me” from Day 9. Wendy opens this day with an illustration from the life of a well-educated Frenchman, Emile Cailliet, born in 1894. He read from great authors of literature and philosophy, writing down quotes and passages but never felt understood. One day, in God’s providence, his wife came upon a Bible in a nearby chapel and brought it home to him. He opened it to the Beatitudes in Matthew 5. As he read, he could not find words to express his awe and wonder as he came to the realization that this was the Book that would understand him.

Wendy says it like this, “The Bible is not something we seek to understand, but a book we open because it understands us…the only book that understands you so intimately that your whole life will begin to make sense through its lens.” Then she quotes 1 John 4:19, “we love Him because He first loved us” to say “we begin to understand Him because we’re so intimately understood.”

My first experiences with grief

When I suffered my first miscarriage, a dear friend gave me Psalm 139 to read. It was helpful as I read and reread trying to fully understand and apply it to my sad state. Then when I miscarried a second time, I started asking God why this was happening again.

We were in a young marrieds Sunday School class where little baby carriers were in abundance. It is not that I wasn’t truly happy for my friends, but it was a constant reminder of my losses. What was wrong with me and when was it going to be my turn? These were my first experiences with grief, and I felt punished.

I experienced some healing, but as I continued to grieve, I kept coming back to Psalm 139. Over the years and through different heartaches, I asked God to search me and know me, to know my heart and see if there was anything wicked in me. When I prayed this way, I felt like if I did my part in asking for forgiveness of sin, then God was obligated to do His part to make everything right. God showed me His sovereign plan was not punishment and there were things I could not see that He was working into the finished tapestry of His Will. I knew this in my head, but it would take longer to convince my heart.

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

Psalm 139 was written by King David as part of Israel’s choir book. David is in awe that the God of the universe not only considered him but knew everything about him. If I am willing to personalize this Psalm, how does it make me feel that God understands me? He scrutinizes the path I take, and because He is intimately acquainted with all my ways, He limits my actions, hemming me in for my own protection. Even before I speak, He knows what I am going to say! It makes me exclaim like my brother David, “ such knowledge is too wonderful for me…it’s too high, I can’t attain it!”

Sometimes I want to flee God’s presence, maybe from the guilt of sin. But it doesn’t matter where I go, He is there, not in judgment but to lead me and lay hold of me with His right hand. There is no where I could go that God would not be there to take care of me. Even if I say the dark places of my sin and grief will overwhelm me, God reaches in and exposes the darkness with His light because night is as bright as the day to Him.

Before I was even born, He was caring for me. He formed me fearfully and wonderfully knit me together in my mother’s womb. We rightfully use this passage on Pro-life Sunday. But as I consider how it shows His intimate knowledge of me, it breaks down any argument I form that I get to know Him from His Word before He knows me. No, He knew me first and ordained and wrote my days in His book before there were any days. Wow, “how precious are Your thoughts to me, O God! They are more vast than the grains of sand!”

The Psalm then takes an interesting turn. I didn’t always know what to think of David hating and loathing God’s enemies with the utmost hatred, asking God to slay those who took His Name in vain. God calls David a man after His own heart, but this sounded harsh. I came to realize I had an impoverished view of who God is. He perfectly balances His love, grace and mercy with His righteous wrath, truth, and justice. As I continue to grow in my understanding of God’s character, I am led to consider God’s enemies as those who oppose Him and His purposes even after He has shown them love. I cannot remain neutral with those who speak of God with malicious intent.

Finally, the Psalm ends the way it began, with recognizing God knows me. It is in light of my response to His enemies, that I ask Him to search me, know my heart, try me, and know even my anxious thoughts that I try to bravely hide from anyone else. I ask Him to do this to see if there is any hurtful way in me that has no place in eternity, which is always His goal and mine.

My Conclusion

My conclusion from studying this Psalm is the Bible does know me and understand me because its Author does. Even though this knowledge is great, it motivates me to want to open it and seek to understand it. Yes, because I love its Author, but I wouldn’t be capable of loving the Author if He didn’t love me first. I am not capable of understanding His Book if it didn’t understand me first. Like Wendy says, “God reads you like a book, so open His book and read Him back!”

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The Complete Message

Tue, 07 May 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Feast on the Word

Wendy Speake came to our church as a guest speaker Saturday April 13 ^th to encourage the ladies that heeded the invitation to Turn and Return to the only One who could satisfy their hunger, namely Jesus.

From this event, many of us have decided to do The 40-Day Feast to taste and see the goodness of God’s Word for ourselves. When we made this decision, we knew as we read each day’s entry we would picture Wendy standing on stage sharing her story and more importantly the impact of God’s story on her life. What we didn’t know was Wendy’s mother would die unexpectedly the very next day. She is currently on a social media fast but has broken it twice to post briefly on Instagram. This was shocking to those of us who had encountered her that weekend as a new friend and delighted in her as a true Sister. Our hearts are grieved with her and we lift her before our Heavenly Father’s Throne of Grace asking for comfort and peace that passes understanding. I have no doubt these prayers will continue the 40 days of the Feast and beyond.

I had already contemplated writing about what stood out to me as I was Feasting and now I feel more compelled to do so as the Holy Spirit keeps her fresh on my heart.

The Word is The Complete Message

As I have been Feasting , what has stood out to me the most in the first week? Is it Corrie Ten Boom’s quote and the love for the Torah? Or maybe Henry Allen Ironside’s courageous response to an agnostic detailing the transforming power of God’s Word? I have definitely been impacted by the possibility of those reading the Bible but missing the Gospel. All of these are so good, but it was Day 7 that kept me captivated by its message this week.

On Day 7, Wendy introduces us to The Complete Message. John 1:1-5 proclaims the eternal Jesus as The Word, which in Greek means the complete message . He not only was with God, He was God from the beginning and beyond. From Genesis 1:1, God the Father carried out creation in the beginning through His Son. Nothing in the universe was created without Him. In Him was life and this Life was the Light of men. This Light shone in the darkness and some believed, but many chose to stay in the dark.

The Message is also the Messenger

In order for us to see the completed message, The Word left heaven, took on flesh in the humblest of ways, and chose to dwell and live among us where we could behold His Glory, Glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of Grace and Truth. When the Son of Man was fully grown, He shared The Complete Message He was born to bring. He used The Word that He is when He was tempted by satan so He would know our struggles as our compassionate High Priest. Then at the right time, He died so that you and I could partake of this Message. The Complete Message was not completely Complete until after three days when He rose again from the grave, thereby conquering death so that we could have eternal life. This world is not our home, we are just passing through.

Some reject The Messenger

I uncover the message as I spend time with the Messenger. But some will read the Message and reject the Messenger. I recently spoke with an older woman who had lived a hard life and was completely estranged from her family. She could tell me a lot of facts about the Bible and how there would come a day when God sets all things right. She said she believed Jesus was the Son of God, but refused to believe He was God. At the time, the Lord brought John 10:9 to mind. Jesus is The Door . This was the verse God used to ultimately open Nicholas’s blind eyes to the Truth that the only way to enter God’s Kingdom is through The Door. I could tell when she heard these words from The Word she was considering them. Her eyes opened as if she was receiving some illumination, but she chose not to make a decision that day. If God gives me the opportunity to speak with her again, I pray He will open her eyes completely to see Jesus as not only the Son of God but as God, The Complete Message.

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God Meets Me at First Light

Tue, 30 Apr 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

What is First Light

First Light , also known as Nautical Dawn in the science world, is the time before sunrise when the sky begins to brighten. I see it as a the very first glimpse of light that just begins to break through the night announcing my Lord and my God has come to meet with me. And He always comes.

I have been meeting my Lord at First Light since the Fall of 2023. One evening Eric asked me to join him on a hike the next morning so we could see First Light together. Eric arises at 4:30 am and can hike like a mountain goat, so I had to clarify exactly what this entailed. We would arrive at our destination while it was still dark so when we climbed to the top of the hill, we would be there waiting for First Light . I somewhat reluctantly said, “okay, I’m in.”

There was a nice chill to the morning and the hill was manageable, so far so good. We settled in to the spot Eric thought would be the most climactic. And we watched and waited. Waiting is part of the experience, but so is watching. Because you don’t know the exact moment it’s coming, and if you are not watching expectantly, you will miss it. I was afraid to blink.

Then it happened. The sky broke forth with the tiniest glimmer of light, and it was if our Lord and God came just for us to bid us Good Morning! We stayed for the sunrise, which was also glorious. Then we finished our hike and went to The Sunflour Bakery for breakfast. But it was First Light that kept me captivated. I couldn’t stop thinking about it.

My First Light Prayer

I started waking 30 minutes before sunrise every morning, grabbing my coffee, sitting in my glider, watching and waiting for First Light . And every morning God would greet me. This went on for months as I prayed,

Praying a Psalm added stability

Then the dreaded time change came and threatened to sabotage my efforts. There have been some mornings I roll over with one eye barely open, squinting at First Light , saying, “good morning Lord. I am coming, but I need a minute.” He is still very gracious, but it’s not the same as sitting with expectant anticipation for Him to meet me as He breaks through the dark and whispers to me with His light.

Praying a Psalm every morning at First Light radically changed my prayer life. I would start basically the same every morning, but that lasted about 5 minutes. And then I was thinking, okay now what? As I turned the Psalm into a prayer, the Lord brought much to mind to pray for, mostly people. Then I started organizing lists of those I pray for according to the day of the week and entered them in my phone calendar. Now, I pray the same basic opening, pray the Psalm of the day, then pray for each individual on the list, and finish by texting individuals to let them know I prayed for them.

Now I am part of the miracle

This all takes about an hour. So it’s good I get up before First Light! Slowly, God has shown me over time how He uses humility to do miracles, small and big, in the lives of people I love. It requires them to be humble to voice the request and me to be humble to bring it before our Father, recognizing He has the power and unleashes it by His Spirit when we ask according to His will. I am but a small part in the big plan, but nothing is sweeter. And it makes me want to do it all over again tomorrow! I have even started praying for myself! Trusting God is able and willing, I ask for the desires of my heart with a view that His answer is in context of all eternity. I am waiting with expectant anticipation to see what comes next.

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God says Yes, but I don’t always see it

Tue, 23 Apr 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

When God Says Yes

How many times does God say Yes and I don’t even see it? He is constantly working and I just take it for granted. What if I took the time to really consider how many times God says Yes in a day? What would that look like?

But I asked for 150

I serve as a lay person doing women’s ministry at our church alongside our executive pastor’s wife. We are a good team because we complement one another. That’s a nice way of saying I am loud and she presents herself with a much quieter calm.

We had the pleasure of hosting Wendy Speake April 13th at our Ladies Spring Outreach. This was the third event we had organized together. And would be a big jump from the previous two brunches we hosted. Don’t get me wrong, the previous two were lovely, but now we were raising the stakes, inviting and accommodating a known author who had published several books.

The morning went as well as we could have hoped. It was beautiful to see ladies serve alongside one another, worship together, fellowship, and respond in abundance to the Word they heard. I left feeling so full of gratitude. I just wanted to bask in the goodness of the Lord.

But then sometime in the evening, there was a little bit of a letdown. I had asked God for 150 ladies to come. We had been praying about the event for months. Wendy’s availability alone was God saying yes . But only about 100 came. So on Sunday when my pastor tried to encourage me about the success, I said “yea, but I asked for 150.”

100 plus 50 equals 150

If you remember from last week’s blog, When God Says No , Pastor Tom is convinced we are praying too small because God is able to do far more abundantly than we ask or think according to the power at work in us. (Ephesians 3:20,21). And I shared about my own struggle with God’s willingness to say yes to me. I asked for 150 to come and only 100 came. So I was tempted to revert back to my old doubts that left me feeling like God was able but wasn’t willing to say yes to me and what I wanted.

As soon as the words, “yea, but I asked for 150” left my mouth, the Holy Spirit zinged me. Do you know what it feels like to get a zinger from the Holy Spirit? It doesn’t feel good, but it is His way of convicting us to get our thoughts and attitudes back in line with Truth. So what the Holy Spirit was saying was, “How long are you going to doubt me? I did abundantly more than you asked and you still don’t see it?”

Then He helped me to see His YES is better than what I even asked. I asked for 150 and God gave 100 plus 50. There were 100 ladies in attendance and 50 of them came forward with a response of salvation, rededication, or bringing burdens to the cross with the intention of leaving them at the feet of Jesus. This response was definitely far more abundant than I could have imagined. Why do I continue to doubt? I do not deserve the longsuffering nature of my Lord but He still shows me grace. His mercies are new every morning in the form of so many yesses .

God says Yes, but sometimes I miss it

This prompted me to consider when else is God saying yes and I have just missed it? I am embarrassed to say this consideration took me longer than it should have. It brought up cynical, dark days when I spent a good amount of time really not liking the word blessed. People say they are blessed when what they really mean is, “I am praising God for saying yes to what I wanted.” And every time I heard it, I wondered if they would praise God even if He had said no. Last week we when we looked at God saying no to what I wanted, I told you how devastating that was. For nine years I struggled under the weight of grief and refused to say I was blessed. I know that sounds petty, especially since I was functioning fairly well with the coexistence of joy and sorrow. But the way people casually threw the word around irked me.

There had been plenty of times I felt blessed, but I would revert back to thinking if I was truly blessed I wouldn’t keep struggling with feeling like this. Then I remembered the day I could say I was blessed and not take it back. It was shortly after the dark heavy cloud of grief was lifted, a few weeks before the ninth anniversary of Nicholas’s death. Where there had been only gray clouds, the sun was starting to peak through. I could wear colors other than black. I could laugh and not feel completely guilty. And I could take a deep breath without feeling pain. I didn’t realize I had been holding my breath for nine years. Wow! It felt so good to just be able to let it out.

Don’t get me wrong, I still have days I struggle and grieve. But now when I start remembering God’s yesses, I have a hard time stopping. He literally holds all of creation together with His hands. He gave me life and eternal life and a beautiful family with a husband who loves me and children I don’t deserve. I grew up in a loving home (not perfect as none are), but I had everything I needed and much of what I wanted. He forgives me over and over for the same things with which I continue to struggle. And He is preparing a place for me to be united with all His children who will look fully in the face of Jesus and not be reduced to ashes. I don’t need a mansion in heaven, but I am asking for a room with a view.

Born Again to a Living Hope

Recognizing when God says yes looks a lot like being thankful. Which makes sense because giving thanks, counting things for which I am thankful, is what pulled me out of the pit of despair when I was at my worst. Day after day, as I forced myself to count gifts, God did a work in my heart that helped me not stay angry that He had said no .

Do I still have a thankful heart when He says no, continuing to recognize His no’s are for future and better yesses , even if the stakes are high? He is still working on me. And maybe feeling blessed is really living with hope. I am living in a hard world but not overcome by the suffering because I have the certain expectation that God will be faithful to do what He promised. His mercies are new every morning. As I meet Him at First Light, He always shows up, even on the cloudy days.

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When God Says No

Tue, 16 Apr 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Ask abundantly

My pastor has been teaching us about prayer. He had this epic sermon on Palm Sunday we are affectionately calling The Ladder Sermon . Because some of the pastoral associates hauled a big ole ladder on to the stage and yes, he climbed near to the tippy top.

In this sermon, Pastor Tom is convinced we are praying too small because God is able to do far more abundantly than we ask or think according to the power at work in us. (Ephesians 3:20,21). He has continued to give examples of answered prayer that exceeded the request. His enthusiasm is contagious. Because I trust him as a good shepherd to faithfully lead me and feed me, I should be filled with as much excitement as he is. And I want to be, but I also secretly find myself wanting to dampen the Spirit just a bit. And I couldn’t figure out why. What is my problem?

But what if God says No ?

I agree with Pastor Tom’s teaching in regard to God’s ability and firmly believe we have access to the same dynamite power that raised Jesus Christ from the dead. (Ephesians 1:18-23). All power and authority are in His hands. I have no doubt about what God is able to do. I waiver about what He is willing to do, and specifically what He is willing to do for me. Because, what if I ask and the answer is no ? I am afraid to ask for big things because it’s crushing to be told no . How did I get here?

When Nicholas was in the Emergency Room, I stood outside his door begging God to save him. I told Him everyone would know this was a miracle that only He could do and He would receive all the Glory. But God said no . He said no and my world was rocked in devastation. My faith didn’t waiver initially because shock and the Holy Spirit gave me a brave face for a few months.

Then I would cry out to God and ask Him in grief-stricken desperation to raise Nicholas from the dead. I even quoted examples from His Word where He had done this, again telling Him He would receive all the Glory, knowing only He could do this. But God said no .

Then I plummeted to the depths of hellish anguish, barely able to muster a cry for help. Yes, my prayer warriors could be counted on as I humbly cried out asking them to engage in the battle to lift me before our Father’s Throne of Grace, and I would receive some miraculous relief. But when I asked for sustained relief from the dark cloud of grief that constantly hovered, God said no .

And I just wanted to know, when is God going to say, yes ? I saw Him saying yes to so many others who asked in faith believing He can do what He says. Why did I only get told no ?

God answered me

God took some time to answer me. And what I discovered when He did answer why I was told no was that I had an impoverished view of who He is. I am still growing in my understanding, and I believe this will continue for all eternity. But what I have come to know through study and experience is that because of the eternal nature of my God, He allows me to suffer so that He can offer me something better that has eternal significance. He wants me to be completely mature, not lacking any good thing He is able to give now as a deposit with future riches in store. He owns everything and is able to give possessions, power, and prestige, but these temporary treasures pale in comparison to the lasting spiritual gifts He has in mind.

The gifts He wants to give me, that only come by His Spirit, He longs to give in abundance but can only do so as I grow. And the process of growth is through pain. I spent a lot of time wishing it were not so. But then I studied Hebrews and discovered even Jesus Christ had to suffer for His Father to complete the work He started in Him. So who am I to think He will complete the work He started in me with anything less?

By faith…

Hebrews 11 tells us it is impossible to please God without faith and it is by faith that we receive our commendation. Many of those listed in this Hall of Faith died without receiving on this earth what they were promised. They could have received it. They saw it and waved to it, but then traded it in for something better, a better country, a heavenly one. God had prepared a City for them.

Many of the bible stories I learned in Sunday School as a child come to mind as the writer of Hebrews details incredible victories of those who conquered kingdoms, enforced justice, obtained promises, stopped the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, were made strong out of weakness, became mighty in war, and put foreign armies to flight.

Every child loves these great stories where God prevails! But the writer, here in Hebrews, focuses on the FAITH more than the deeds. It is By Faith they were able to do these things. Because it was the One in whom their faith was placed that enabled them to do it.

The writer then turns to verses that need to come with a warning. I have to admit, I do not understand why such violence is a part of suffering that God uses to make us more like Christ. But I do take comfort in knowing that our Lord does not ask us to endure anything He was not willing to endure Himself.

People were flogged, stoned, imprisoned, and sawn in two. It stands in stark contrast to the incredible successes of those in the previous verses. Why some men and women of faith are delivered and others left to be tortured to death by nefarious means is a mystery that only God knows. But God counts those who did not appear victorious in this life along with those who did. This world was not worthy of them. And God provided them and us something better.

Then God said yes

God used this and other things He was working in my life to teach me His plan is better and His ways are better. And when I insisted on my way, what I was really saying was not your will, Father, but mine be done. In so doing, I missed the best He had for me. When I relinquished my will for His, a miracle happened, and He was then able to say yes to sustained relief from the grief cloud that constantly hovered. It was as if He was saying the suffering had a purpose to work in me what otherwise would not have been done, and that purpose was completed.

It takes courage to live with God’s will in view, that His no’s are for bigger and better future yesses . I am not ready to say when God closes a door, He opens a window because that just sounds too cliché when we are talking about pain and suffering and losses. But I can ask for big things here and now with a view that His answer is in context of all eternity. I have brothers and sisters in heaven that endured the same and more. And they are cheering me on to victory when we all will be perfectly joined together.

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Have You Ever Felt Forsaken?

Tue, 09 Apr 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Feeling Forsaken

Eric and I have been reading a Psalm every morning since January 1 ^st . During Passion Week, I read Psalm 88 and was so struck that the writer doesn’t feel the need to resolve the tension that hangs in the balance as He cries out to God. As I studied further, it seems this is the only Psalm that doesn’t include some sort of declaration of hopefulness, thanksgiving, or praise. All others, and especially David, that cry out to God exclaiming their utter agony, end their cry by recognizing that God is in control and will be faithful to His promises. But this writer is feeling completely forsaken, with no hope in sight.

I identify with his misery.

The Psalm seems so dark and dismal, and yet, I find myself understanding his misery. He has been suffering for quite some time. His friends have shunned him and he feels shunned by God as well – abandoned, alone, and forsaken. He continues to appeal to God over and over, day and night, asking for relief. And none seems to come. He expresses no confidence that the misery will end. It started when he was a youth and may have continued until his death. But, as he keeps on turning to God he demonstrates his faith is real even when Hope seems to allude him.

The Psalm is included as a liturgical offering that the Levites, the sons of Kohath specifically, would use to lead the Israelites in worship. I see this as a song of bereavement or used during great persecution. All Christians are called to suffer as a purifying agent, but not all are called to suffer to this extent. And I find myself wanting to put my arm around him and sit there willing to be miserable with him.

Even Jesus felt forsaken

As I was contemplating Psalm 88, Psalm 22 came to mind. “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?” This is a Psalm of David that prefigures the suffering of Jesus Christ, who makes the same cry. Psalm 22 is remembered and quoted in Matthew 27 by our Savior as He hangs on the cross, feeling abandoned as His Father looks away while He takes on the sins of the World.

As I pause and consider this for just a moment, I am humbled that the King of Kings would leave heaven in the first place, leave the beauty and unity at Home with His Father so He could be sacrificed as the Lamb of God, the only Sacrifice that would prove to be sufficient to satisfy the wrath of a Holy God. In this moment, the one Person that He counted on, that He walked and talked with, that He was one with, had to look away as He took on the sin and shame that should have been mine. He felt alone, stricken, and yes, forsaken for me.

I, too, have felt forsaken

I, too, have felt forsaken. I have felt that God has abandoned me and is so very far from me, refusing to answer my cries, leaving me to wallow in misery, barely able to even ask why this happening. This went on for the better part of nine years. I would get some relief as I engaged the help of my prayer warriors to cry before our Father’s Throne of Grace begging for mercy on my behalf. Then He would pull me out of the pit of despair so I could live to fight another day. And I learned how to live, how to have courage to live again after suffering great loss.

But the dark cloud of grief was ever present and a storm could break forth without notice in a fury of thunder and lightning that left me stricken and forsaken, left to muster some semblance of a cry that would start the process all over again.

Until I awoke from my grief slumber

I am thankful the writer of Psalm 88, under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, had the courage to pen these words with which so many of us can identify. I don’t know if he ever felt sustained relief from his misery this side of heaven. But after nine years, I did. One day as I was crying out to God yet again for relief, I awoke from my grief slumber. It felt like a miracle, like God was saying okay, the suffering you endured had a purpose and the work is complete.

It was shortly before the ninth anniversary of Nicholas’s death when I would normally be reliving the days leading up to the trauma, hoping for a different outcome that never came. Based on past experience, I didn’t think relief would last. But it has been 20 months now and I thank God for every day for hearing my cries and setting my feet on solid ground. I still have times of sadness and grief, but not the feelings of miserable abandonment like I did before. And, as I look back, even though I felt forsaken, I wasn’t. I couldn’t always feel it, But God, by His Spirit was with me the whole time. And He had a purpose for my suffering to make me more like His Son, who can sympathize with feeling forsaken.

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The Gift of Presence

Tue, 02 Apr 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Giving the Gift of Presence

When someone we care about is hurting, we want to do something or say something to ease the pain. And, if we are being honest, in part, we want to ease our own discomfort as well. Seeing people in pain is uncomfortable for everyone. We all just want it to go away. We are a comfort-driven culture and there is no place for suffering.

The bravest souls are willing to endure personal discomfort so they may provide some measure of relief to the hurting. If you are reading this, then perhaps you are one of those brave souls. Or at least you want to be. One of t he best things friends and family did for me when I was hurting was to give me the Gift of their Presence.

Examples of Presence

The first few days after Nicholas died are a blur. Funeral arrangements, caskets, burial plots- parents should not have to plan these things for their child. We were in shock and needed help to make seemingly impossible decisions. My friend and Bible study partner Sabrina met us at the funeral home. The funeral director was kind and patient, but we kept turning to Sabrina to help us. Her heart was also broken, but she was calm and reassuring with the right amount of hand squeezing, hugs, and confidence to push us to do what needed to be done when what needed to be done seemed more than we could bear. This type of friendship continues as she faithfully points me to the Truth of Who God is as He says in His Word.

My longtime friend Denise has also given her Presence. Our children played together when they were young. Nicholas and her oldest continued the friendship in high school as teammates. She still meets with me at different places for coffee, or a walk, or just sitting on a bench in the park, not to say anything in particular, but just to sit there being miserable with me. She holds my hand, hugs me, lets me cry, lets me talk about anything or nothing. This goes on for hours. She is okay with what normally would be uncomfortable silence. Only her willingness to be uncomfortable makes the silence not as awkward as it gives the proper respect to the bigness of the tragedy.

I have had many Prayer Warriors, most notably my mom and sisters and mother-in-love who faithfully lift me before our Heavenly Father’s Throne of Grace every day. My cousin Trina wrote out her prayers for me three days a week and mailed them the whole first year. It was incredible. Many times, she was praying God’s Word. This may not be comfortable for everyone. But we are close like sisters, so it was welcomed. To say I am praying for you is good but writing out her prayer was even more encouraging. It showed how she hurt for me to the point of laboring for me. I felt close to her as the Holy Spirit made His Presence known through these prayers.

My sister Robin gave me her Presence in a different way. Yes, she was there for me whenever I needed her, but her Presence also went before me. What I mean by that is she answered hundreds of questions from those who didn’t want to ask me how I was doing but felt like they could ask her. We live in the same small town. It’s not as though people intended to be inconsiderate of how she was doing. People in our community were genuinely concerned and wanted to do something to help. So they asked her. She loved Nicholas like a child but didn’t get to grieve as such. Instead, my big sister bravely went before me as a shield until I was ready to venture out a little at a time.

I am sharing my examples, but Eric has those friends that have given of their Presence as well. One friend has faithfully sent him a text every Monday for over 10 years to remind him he is praying for him. Another friend met him for long runs on Sundays for years. Two different friends and his brother separately went on backpacking trips in the wilderness with him.

These Givers of Presence shared their gift in similar ways.

They did not feel compelled to come up with any plausible explanation.

We were all replaying how and why it happened over and over in the weeks, months, and years to come. But they knew it served no good purpose for them to expect me to answer these questions. Nor did they feel the need to offer any ill-conceived conclusions in the immediate aftermath. They knew that would not make me feel better or provide any comfort while I was hurting. When I was ready, I would reach out. And they would just listen and hold my hand without having to figure anything out for me.

They did not talk about their own hurts or tell me they knew how I felt.

Sometimes, people may inadvertently communicate that their dog dying could possibly compare to my child dying. Or their child going away to college or to serve in the armed forces was in any way the same thing.

Those who gave of their presence showed sympathy and even empathy but did not presume to compare hurts. They did not communicate they were looking for me to minister to them. And they did not say “I know how you feel because…”.

They were not afraid to say Nicholas’s name.

Some people are afraid to say the dearly departed one’s name, for fear of bringing more hurt to their loved ones. This is not possible. I wanted to hear Nicholas’s name. I wanted him to be remembered. Having good memories is a blessing and a comfort. They were willing to share stories and pictures and reminisce, and yes, even laugh. All of this was part of the healing that occurred when I was reassured Nicholas’s life mattered.

What about you? Are you willing to give the Gift of your Presence?

Ask yourself how uncomfortable you are willing to be for this person.

You will endure more discomfort for someone you love. If you are not that close, do not feel like you must do this. But if you are willing and you sense the hurting person is open to you staying, just sit in uncomfortable silence and hold their hand. For as long as they will let you, just sit there, doing nothing, being uncomfortable together. Then, when you have shown you are not afraid of the pain, even though it is uncomfortable, you will endure it with them and for them – then, you can ask, “what can I and may I do for you?’. And then, they may tell you something that would be of help to their healing.

Let the Holy Spirit be your guide more than anything. Most people will see your motivation is good and will not be devastated by a misstep. Practicing the Gift of Presence will help you be more mindful of how to minister with a message of Hope. It is a blessing to be given to do so.

“A loving arm is worth a thousand words,” Peggy J. Fillinger

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As I Consider the Sacrifice

Tue, 26 Mar 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

The great cost of Sacrifice

When someone knows they are going to die, they consider their words and actions carefully. There is no time for anything other than that which has profound significance. As Jesus entered His final week, knowing He was walking the road to Jerusalem for the last time, He did so with purpose. He knew the time had come and He would be offered as the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world. In anticipation of celebrating Resurrection Sunday, I am reflecting on this final week of Jesus and considering the great cost of His Sacrifice.

My living example

A sacrifice is made when someone takes on a burden that should have been ours to bear so we don’t have to. I had a living example of this in my home. My parents sacrificed to send me to college. They grew up in the hollows of Kentucky where the primary trade was coal mining. Only they called them hollers. I was an adult before I realized the hollow in The Legend of Sleepy Hollow by Washington Irving was the same thing as my Grandmom’s holler. Unlike Irving’s hollow, Grandmom’s holler was a place of family life and community. I remember my parents saying they didn’t realize how poor they were because everyone they knew was in the same boat. They didn’t watch television much and didn’t have a social media presence to pressure them into making comparisons. They helped one another through the hard days of living. Maybe they didn’t have much in the way of material possessions, but they had love. And they didn’t mind work.

However, they both regretted not going to college. It was not emphasized or expected. My father dropped out of high school and enlisted in the Air Force. Afterward, he obtained his GED and went to trade school to become an electrician. He was very mechanically minded and did well to provide for his family. My mother had a full scholarship to a local college but didn’t go. Instead, she learned skills as an administrative assistant and worked the bulk of her career as an executive assistant in a metropolitan library.

As my sisters and I were growing up, we knew we were going to college. It wasn’t if, but when. Our parents willingly sacrificed to make this happen. They loved Kentucky and always considered it their home but willingly moved to Columbus, Ohio to find better jobs, sometimes working multiple jobs to make our high school and college educations a reality. I used my college education to become a nurse. Even though I fell in love with the profession, I think I appreciate it more because of the sacrifice of my parents.

This was a costly sacrifice but is only a small picture of the sacrifice of the Lamb of God. I am deeply humbled as I consider what it cost my Lord and Savior to purchase my salvation.

The Son of God became the Son of Man

Last Summer and into the Fall, I studied Hebrews and learned much about my Savior’s sacrifice. In comparing Hebrews 2 with Philippians 2, I learned the Son of God left heaven as He chose to humble Himself and become the Son of Man who willingly gave Himself in my place as the sacrificial lamb needed to atone for my sins. He tasted the suffering of death for everyone because our own death would prove insufficient.

The Son of Man had to be made like His brothers in every respect so that He could become a merciful and faithful High Priest in the service of God. Up until then, a priest offered sacrifices to pay for the sins of the people and that is what satisfied God’s wrath. The Son of Man was not only the priest that offered the sacrifice, but also the sacrifice that was offered to atone for sin. It shows altogether how God’s justice and mercy can both be satisfied at the same time. Because He faced ongoing trials throughout His earthly life, our Great High Priest is sympathetic to our trouble and opposition and able to help us when satan’s purpose is our destruction.

Sometimes it is hard to put words to the overwhelming emotion that arises as I contemplate this great salvation which includes grace in time of need, eternal life, intercession, and confidence to approach a Holy God. My response is to offer sincere gratitude with humility, especially as I consider His final week.

Jesus spends His last hours teaching

What would you do with your last hours on this earth? In his book, The Final Week of Jesus , Max Lucado highlights how Jesus spent much of His time in the temple teaching. In one of the parables, He compares the Kingdom of Heaven to a king who gave a wedding feast for his son. The invited guests rejected the invitation, so then anyone passing by on the highway was invited to come. The wedding clothes were supplied, preparations were made, and a feast was spread out before these commoners. When the king arrived to celebrate the marriage of his son, one of the guests purposely rejected the king’s provision. He said he accepted the invitation but then he refused to wear the wedding clothes. The spiritual imagery is one who professes to be a Christian but won’t admit his spiritual poverty and instead relies on the garments of self-righteousness, thus spurning the Son’s sacrifice. This is a horrible tragedy as God proclaims, “Depart from me, I never knew you.” And results in being separated from a Holy God forever. We cannot offer ourselves in place of what God freely gave. Only His Son’s Sacrifice is sufficient.

Sunday is Coming!

It may only be Tuesday, but Sunday is coming. In the process of destroying death, the Son of Man destroyed the one who had the power of death, namely the devil. Through His Resurrection, Jesus Christ triumphed over the devil and delivered us from his control. So that means God’s children do not have to fear death. He conquered the grave and the bondage to fear. Sometimes we forget and need reminded that to live in Christ means to live free and unencumbered by fear. God is faithful and His Son is here to help us.

His Resurrection that day was a triumphant foretaste of His Return. As I picture myself at the Marriage Supper of the Lamb when Christ returns, I know I do not deserve an invitation. But I am welcomed, not as a common guest, but instead as a member of the Royal Family with all of the rights and privileges as a Daughter of the King.

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Why Do I Give Up Too Soon?

Tue, 19 Mar 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Giving up too soon

Why do I give up too soon? I listen to the lies of the enemy instead of believing God is who He says He is and will do what He promises. Or I rely on my own strength instead of leaning on the almighty arm of God. I get discouraged if God is not working in the time frame I think He should. Or the outcome is different from what I imagined. I’m talking about real hurts and painful losses that I cannot fathom could be a part of God’s sovereign plan. Ultimately, I give up too soon when I take my eyes off Jesus and believe the lie that the Glory that awaits is not worth what I must endure.

Finding God bigger

I teach a ladies Bible study at my church. Last year we studied the book of Romans by using In View of God’s Mercies by Courtney Doctor. It is a Lifeway study that made me feel like I was studying Romans for the first time. My pastor told me this was because every year we grow, we find God bigger. And then he quoted our mutual friend C. S. Lewis from Prince Caspian :
“Aslan”, said Lucy. “You’re bigger.”
“That is because you are older, little one,” answered he.
“Not because you are?”
“I am not, but every year you grow, you will find me bigger.”

I found God bigger all throughout the study, but especially in chapter 5 of Romans. Paul has made the case in the first four chapters that our right standing with God is solely on the basis of God’s character not ours. Now in Romans 5 he wants to encourage us with Peace with God, Access to His Throne of Grace, and the Hope of Glory.

But he quickly goes on to say we also rejoice in our sufferings.

Suffering has a purpose

What? I don’t think so, Paul. I have suffered and I’m not rejoicing in it. And yet, even as I write these words, the Holy Spirit is faithful to remind me of all my Lord suffered so that I could be justified and declared right before God. And Paul knows a little about suffering also. So I can pay attention when he lays out under divine inspiration over the next couple of verses the step by step process of transformation.

Suffering has a purpose because it produces endurance. I have to admit, endurance could be a good thing in my life. Endurance produces character. I know I should be excited about greater character, but honestly it’s not worth the suffering to me. This is when I get discouraged and I’m tempted to give up. But God, in His faithfulness, won’t let me. I want to let go, but He holds me in His firm grip. And by His Spirit, He shows me that if I don’t give up too soon, character produces Hope.

Making the case

Before Paul articulates the transformative process that leads to unshakable Hope in Romans 5, he started making the case in chapter 4, using our faith father Abraham as an example. If we back up just a bit to Romans 4:18-21, we see Abraham, in hope, believed against hope that he would become the father of many nations. Abraham and Sarah were barren and their bodies as good as dead, and yet Paul says his faith did not weaken. He goes on to say no unbelief made him waiver concerning this promise of God.
I have to pause here and question Paul for a minute. Genesis 12- 25 cover the incredible story of our forefather Abraham -from God calling him all the way through to his death on this earth. His life was not always characterized by unwavering faith. This is evidenced by having a son with his wife’s handmaiden and being willing to give up his beautiful wife Sarah not just once but twice to save his own skin. So when exactly did he get to the point of this unwavering faith in the promises of God?

Romans 4:20 tells us he grew strong in faith AS he gave Glory to God. AS he was glorifying God, his faith grew. This is my testimony as well. When I am suffering, if I lean into the leading of the Holy Spirit and open my heart to thanksgiving and Glory to God, He miraculously pulls me out of despair and sets my feet on solid ground. Giving Glory to God leads to stronger faith, being fully convinced that God is able with His wonder working power to do what He promised.

Giving God Glory is Key

Do I continue to suffer? Yes. But I move through the transformative process more quickly to bask in Hope that does not disappoint. I have the memorial stones of God’s faithfulness to lean on. He has never not been faithful. I have no other reason to be hopeful. But God, in His love, makes sense of the suffering. I can endure a little longer and then a little longer still as I wait expectantly for Christ’s return.

The depths of God’s love and riches of His Word continue to amaze me. I never want to get over it. May I continue to find Him bigger. I am convinced the key to not giving up too soon is to give Him the Glory due His Name.

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My Basis for Hope

Tue, 12 Mar 2024 09:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Hoping for a miracle

When we followed the ambulance carrying Nicholas to the Emergency Room, we had hope that he would be revived. Even though it did not look promising, we prayed for a miracle. We were hanging on, asking God to work through the ER staff and save our child. What was the basis of our Hope?

Hope Defined

Merriam-Webster defines hope as cherishing a desire with anticipation, to want it to happen or be true, to desire with expectation of obtaining. ¹

If you ask Siri, she adds that you intend or aim for it to happen, that there is cause for optimism, and the chances are favorable.

Contrast this with the biblical definition of Hope. ² It includes the certain expectation that something desired is going to happen. It is not a wish or a dream but a certainty that is based on God’s character of truth and faithfulness. What He promises will come about. There is assurance imbedded in the guarantee of the promise made.

My Basis for Hope

The biggest difference between how the world hopes and the Christian hopes is the basis for the hope. The world’s hope is based on man’s ability. Even with the best of intentions and pure motives, man fails. You may feel confident after an interview, only to discover there are a dozen qualified applicants. One team may be favored to win a game, but you still have to play. Parents plan for their children’s future to be secure, knowing anything can happen to their investments. There is no certainty because the basis, even in the best of circumstances, doesn’t come with a guarantee.

The guaranteed inheritance of every child of God is the reward they will receive in heaven. The seal of that guarantee is the Holy Spirit living inside of us to help us discern and to lead, comfort, and encourage us here. Our Hope is based on entrusting our souls to the One who created us and gives us a guarantee to keep us for all eternity. This sounds great for the future, until the future robs the present. Then it doesn’t feel so good.

Was my Hope misplaced?

Think about the ER doctor who wanted to give me a good prognosis but he couldn’t. I knew only God could save Nicholas. He alone had the power to do so. I cried out to my Lord and my God, begging Him to let me keep Nicholas, begging Him for favor. I had not asked for much. But I asked for this:

Please Lord God, do not take my child. Please Father in Heaven, please give him back to me. Isn’t the world better with him in it? Please do this and I will proclaim your Glory to the ends of the Earth. Everyone will know this could only be You. And I believe with every fiber of my being that You can do this. All power in heaven and earth are in Your hands.

Do you know what He said? No. He said No. Does this mean my Hope was misplaced?

My Hope was not misplaced, as much as my view of God’s plan was impoverished. I wanted Nicholas to be saved on this Earth to accomplish and experience the best this world had to offer. And I would be here to see every bit of it. But God had a different plan. God had a short earthly life for Nicholas, but an everlasting eternal life in heaven. Is heaven better than athletic accolades, prom, graduation, college scholarships, marriage, having his own children? As God has been faithfully showing me, my conclusion is an emphatic YES!

A promise with present day encouragement

Once I started to believe that Heaven is so much more glorious than anything this Earth has to offer, I slowly started to believe it was good for God to take my loved one there with Him. He didn’t make us for this life, He made us for the next one.

As I consider the reality of what awaits us in Heaven, I pray for Christ’s return every day. There is nothing here that compares. God created everything here to give us a picture of the Glory that awaits. It’s not harps and clouds. It’s like the Garden of Eden, only no way to mess it up with sin. We have purpose and work we enjoy, good conversations over good food and drink. Beautiful gardens and music. Dancing. Competitions for the joy of it.

This is a promise that comes with present day encouragement to keep looking toward eternity so I will not give up too soon. It won’t be too much longer now. The question is will I keep believing God can be trusted to keep His promises? Therein lies my Hope.

“hope” Merriam-Webster.com . Merriam-Webster, 2024. Web. 9 March 2024
Spiros Zodhiates, The Complete Word Study Dictionary New Testament. Chattanooga: AMG International 1992, revised 1993.

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How God Healed my Marriage

Tue, 05 Mar 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Is love enough for a happily ever after?

I met my soul mate in college. Eric is the one who understood me, who didn’t try to change me but instead celebrated me. So we got married and lived happily ever after, right? After about three years, our marriage started to need healing.

I realized you can love someone and still struggle to live with them. Mostly the struggles were borne out of selfishness and pride, which shouldn’t really come as a surprise since my basis for getting married was how this person would fulfil me.

God used the struggles of marriage to expose me

God wanted to use the struggles of marriage to expose the parts of me I hadn’t given over to him. It took me awhile to figure this out. I was expecting my husband to fulfill the longings of my heart that only God could satisfy. When he was unable to meet those expectations, I started developing negative thinking. Then he could do nothing right. Everything he did supported the negative thinking I had about him. I became critical of how he was loving me and so I didn’t trust him as a leader. Sure, he was a good provider, and I mostly felt protected, but I didn’t feel cherished and nurtured. In short, my evaluation was he was not loving me as Christ loved the church and that’s why I struggled to respect him and fought against him. We both loved the Lord and wanted to honor him with our lives. How could we be struggling like this? I can’t believe I am saying this out loud, but I started thinking one of us was going to have to die. Surely, God did not intend us to live like this. And divorce was not an option.

I wanted to serve the Lord, but not my husband

When I would wake up each day asking my Lord what He had for me that day, His Spirit would often nudge me to help my husband. I didn’t want to. I love my Lord and I wanted to serve Him, but not my husband. The Lord showed me respectfully serving my husband was if I was serving Him. For a long time, Eric could not tell me how to help him. This led to more frustration, and yet the Holy Spirit kept nudging me to keep trying. Finally, Eric would give me something I could do to help him and I would try to do it as cheerfully and quickly as possible. But when he didn’t show the amount of appreciation I thought it deserved, I put that in the negative column as well. I wasted so much time and energy focusing on what Eric was doing wrong, I didn’t leave any room for what he was doing right.

Is this as good as it gets?

My motivation to keep at it was hearing the voice of the Lord. I couldn’t stand not being able to hear from Him. I have never gotten over what He did to save me. And I wanted to praise and serve Him in response. But He kept pointing back to my marriage. We could always say I love you and it was rare that we went to bed upset with each other. So for a while we settled into a kind of this is as good as it gets routine. We were pouring a lot of energy into our children and felt like that was okay. Not a lot of excitement, but pleasant enough. We got along fine, tried to have date nights that were fine. Sure, I dreamed of more. But Eric knew everything about me and still loved me, so I quit fighting and became satisfied with that being enough. Or I thought I had. But really I had not resolved the bigger heart issue of God being enough, so the struggle kept coming back up in all these annoying ways that would leave me frustrated.

Finding God enough healed my marriage

God was working on my heart for years to get me to the point of believing He is enough. He is all I need. I do not need anyone or anything else to fulfill me. No one else can. Everything else fails to satisfy because it was never intended to.

I have previously posted the blog, Is God Enough , to share with you the work God did in my heart to find His grace completely sufficient after the death of Nicholas. When I got to the point of being able to say, “okay Lord, You are enough. I am content with just You. If I had nothing but You, I would still be okay,” I discovered this applied to my marriage too. My husband was never going to be enough until my God was enough. Then when He was, he was. I started preferring Eric over anyone else. Now I enjoy him and celebrate how God made me to uniquely compliment him. He is my best friend and lover all over again. This is the work of the Lord. To God be the Glory.

God keeps working on me

You think I would be happy that God has used the awful tragedy of Nicholas’s death for good. Yet I can’t help but feel regret that it takes something so painful to change my selfish, stubborn heart. The struggle continues, But God will be faithful to keep working on me until I die or Christ returns, whichever comes first.

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A Story of Living Hope

Tue, 27 Feb 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Living in light of eternity

What does it mean to live your life in light of eternity? Your perspective here is viewed with a lens that the life to come has more significance than this one. You’re living your life to advance God’s Kingdom but cannot wait to be freed from the troubles of this world to rejoice with Christ in heaven. Our brother Paul put it like this in his letter to the Philippians, “for to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain,” Philippians 1:21 .

Pops was ready

The best example from my personal life of someone who lived in light of eternity was my father in law. We call him Pops. I have never seen anyone more ready to go Home than Pops. He had been dealing with chronic lymphocytic leukemia (CLL) for 15 years. It was well controlled and he was pretty much able to do what he wanted right up until the end. It was important to him to remain very productive. I would call him and ask what he was doing and his reply was always the same, “I’m working J woman. I’m always working.” He loved to be busy doing the work God had for him to do.

But then he started getting more tired. He just didn’t have the energy to do the things he wanted to do anymore. He was even taking naps. He would still get up before the crack of dawn but would need to lie down a couple of hours later. This was unusual since he spoke out against “logdoggers”. He had made it clear from the time he was diagnosed with CLL, he only wanted to be here on this earth as long as God had productive work for him to do.

The battle

When he contracted COVID, he initially refused to even get tested. I tried to reason with him, that COVID could be fatal for him and Beammie (my mother in love has Multiple Sclerosis). He responded with, “I’m ready to die!” To which I asked, “what about Beammie?” He said, “she’s ready to die too.” I told him that was not up to him. I called Eric and asked him to talk to Pops. He got tested the next day. Beammie tested positive the following day. The day after that, they both were able to receive an infusion.
Beammie recovered well and Pops’s initial response was good too. But then he needed an inhaler, then home oxygen. With each treatment he would start to get better, and then a couple days later would get worse. When he was hospitalized, I poked him in the chest and told him he had to fight this. He sighed deeply and said okay, but I could see he didn’t have much fight left in him. He eventually needed BiPAP in order to breathe.

At this time, he could only have one visitor. My husband Eric checked on him every day and felt the weight of making decisions and informing the family.
Pops got to the point where he was going to need a ventilator in order to keep his oxygenation at a sustainable level. He told Eric emphatically, “do not put me on a ventilator!” Eric tried to explain to him that this was the next step in the treatment protocol, and it may only be for a couple weeks so his lungs had a chance to heal. Pops remained adamant that he did not want to go on a ventilator. He said, “why would you want to keep me from heaven?”

While he was in the hospital, our urologist, Dr. Braswell, was consulted. An ultrasound showed Pops had numerous tumors in his bladder. It seemed Pops had known something like this was going on for a while.

The day before he died, Dr. Braswell rounded on him and noticed a change in his breathing. He tried to call Eric but couldn’t reach him because he was in surgery. Dr. Braswell was not just our urologist; he is also our friend. So, when he couldn’t reach Eric, he called me, “Julie, Eric needs to go see his father.”
Pops’s struggle to breathe was worsening and the decision was made to call the Palliative Care Team.

God’s appointed time

Everything was happening so quickly for us, but right on schedule in God’s timing. We informed the family that Pops may not live much longer. Eric’s brother Rod had just been here and was able to see and spend some time with his father. Precious moments he now greatly treasures.

Our son Drew and niece Emily only lived a few hours away and were able to come the next morning. Beammie, Eric, and I met them at the hospital. You could have more visitors when you are under the care of the Palliative Care Team.
The five of us were surrounding Pops’s bed, trying to grasp what was happening. Pops said he wasn’t waiting and motioned with his hand to get this show on the road. He was ready, but we were not. It had been decided the Palliative Care Team would come at 2:30 pm to remove the BiPAP. It became obvious he wasn’t going to live much longer and the team made him more comfortable.

We prayed and sang hymns and worshipped God, thanking Him for Pops’s life and asking Him for mercy and peace. After a short time, Pops raised his hands with the little strength he had and peace washed over his countenance. He then breathed his last breath. His time of death was 3:46 pm. He had gone Home.

It didn’t take long for the significance of the time of death to jolt Eric and me in awestruck wonder. Nicholas’s personal record for a 5K was 15:46. That was what he ran his last race before he died. He had broken the school record with that time. We assumed he would have many more opportunities to break it again and again. Only he didn’t. That would be his last. Many of his friends and teammates had tattooed that time on their bodies in memory of him.

Now for us, the time took on a different significance. It was as if God was saying Pops died at His appointed time. He had finished the race and Nicholas was there at the finish line to greet him, “Hey Pops, I’m glad you’re here. I think you’re going to like it. Now let’s go see Jesus. I think He wants to give you a hug, just like He did me.”

At peace with God

We have peace knowing my daddy, Nicholas, and Pops are in the presence of their Lord. It takes courage to continue to live in light of this Truth. But it won’t be too much longer. May we press on and rest in God’s goodness and faithfulness until we go Home or Christ returns, whichever comes first. We are at peace with God.

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Glory Days are Coming

Tue, 20 Feb 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Heaven was always God’s plan for me

God used death to give me a longing for eternity. First when my father died, and then it escalated when Nicholas died. Initially, I just wanted to see my daddy and Nicholas again. When I get there, I imagine Nicholas saying, “oh hi mom” like he has only been there about 15 minutes. But then as I gained understanding of what heaven was like, I looked forward to going to heaven as part of God’s plan for my life. I only want to be on this earth as long as God wills it. As soon as He finishes His work for me here, I am ready to go Home at any time. And not only to be reunited with loved ones, but also to fulfil the perfect design God started in the Garden of Eden for His children and creation.

I am convinced when Christ returns to set up His Kingdom, it will look much like the Garden of Eden. God’s design is perfect. When He created the world and everything in it, He proclaimed it was good. Sin entered the world and broke everything. This put a chasm between us and a holy God who can have nothing to do with sin. But God in His great love, made a way back to Himself by sending His Son to pay the price for my sin. So, when God looks at me as His child, He sees the Righteousness of Jesus Christ credited to my account.

Once I was saved, God has used the joys and sorrows of this life to make me more and more like Christ. This is called sanctification and continues in the life of the believer until they die or Christ Returns. I have already shared with you Erwin Lutzer’s book, One Minute After You Die , to encourage you to know what happens to a believer the moment they die. But would you like to know the rest of the story? What happens after that? What happens when Christ returns to set up His New Kingdom?

If you want to know with confidence that what comes next for God’s children is an exciting adventure where we use our gifts and abilities to bring Him glory in a physical place that Jesus is preparing, then I encourage you to read on.

An impoverished view of Heaven

Revelation 13:6 says Satan slanders God’s person, people, and place because he was evicted from heaven and wants us to believe lies about the home we are entitled to but he was kicked out of. The reason we have an impoverished view of heaven is because Satan convinces us it is a boring, unearthly existence that we won’t enjoy or even recognize; but the truth is, heaven is not beyond what we can envision if our imagination is biblically inspired. Satan delights in keeping us from enjoying the life God planned for us. It is important to be aware of his devices. One major scheme of the enemy is to twist God’s Word. This may lead us to not handle scripture accurately.

Randy Alcorn uses his book Heaven to teach what the Bible says on the subject. This is an incredible and complete resource. I highly recommend it.

A glimpse of Heaven

God uses water and fire to judge, but also to purify and make the earth ready to be reinhabited. His original plan was not a failure. God brings to perfection what He started in the Garden of Eden. He promises His children a forever, physical Home with all of the beauty and none of the ugliness that sin and death created. It’s a place of love and hospitality filled with the familiarity of the things and people we cherish. Enjoying our favorite music, reading a good book, walking in the park, riding bikes, inviting friends over to barbecue, and savoring a cup of coffee as the sun rises are all things we enjoy because we are human, not because we are sinners. These are but a glimpse of the greater life to come.

The already, not yet life

Alcorn describes our present life in terms of the already and not yet . Christ already defeated death with His own death and resurrection, assuring the resurrection of man and the Earth. This loosened the grip Satan has on the Earth currently; but it is not until Satan is cast into the lake of fire, that he will be unable to rule, influence, or touch the Earth again. Christ has already defeated Satan, but the full scope of the victory has not yet been manifested on Earth. Ephesians 1 says God placed all things under His feet and appointed Christ to be head over everything. He is the Sovereign Ruler, and yet, it is only when Christ returns that Satan will be bound. There will be a war and Christ and His Bride will be victorious.

Glory days are coming

I do not imagine this battle taking very long for the King of Kings. What is gloriously fascinating is we are at least along for the ride, if not engaged in fighting as well. Ponder for a moment what it means that death is conquered. Death does not have the final say. Who are we to grieve without hope? We know the truth and it is a blessing. The days seem long as we tarry here, but they are but a vapor in comparison to what awaits. Our eternal life seems to begin when we become saved, but God had our days planned out beforehand. Death doesn’t win. I preach to myself this sermon of the Blessed Hope often. And it encourages me to view today in light of what I know to be true. Glory days are coming!

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My Favorite Love Story

Tue, 13 Feb 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

The Hope of Eternal Life

In the last blog, I told you how I know Nicholas is in heaven. If you do not have this Hope, I implore you to read on. I want to share with you how you can know you have eternal life when your earthly life ceases to exist. None of us knows the number of our days. Life can change in an instant. We have great comfort in knowing that Nicholas had made this decision before he died.

Do you believe?

God is the Creator of the universe, and it seemed good to Him to create man and woman in His image and give them a glorious place to live and worship Him. Satan came along and told lies about God. They were very deceptive, and the woman believed them and disobeyed God. The man did not want to live without the woman, so he knowingly and willingly disobeyed God also. Even though God removed them from the glorious place He had prepared for them, He promised to provide a way back to Himself. He can have nothing to do with sin; His character will not allow it. But because of His GREAT LOVE for us, He sent His only Son Jesus to be born of a virgin and live a perfect life with the purpose of paying the price for all sin. The price was His blood shed as He died on a cross. He took what we deserved and put it on Himself so we could live. When God looks on us, He sees our account as paid in full. The good news does not stop there. Jesus Christ conquered death when He rose from the dead. His resurrection is what gives us a Living Hope to be reunited with loved ones who have placed their trust in Jesus Christ.

Will you receive?

If you believe that Jesus’s death was sufficient to pay the price for your sin, that it was not anything you could do yourself, and you ask Him to be Lord of your life, He will save you too. This decision is the best decision you will ever make and will become your favorite love story too! It is the one that impacts your life for all of eternity and gives you assurance of where you will go when you die. Christ will come back some day and re-establish His Kingdom on earth as God intended before sin. But until then, God gave us a beautiful gift, in the form of the Holy Spirit. He will guide and comfort and testify Truth to our spirit. We can live with hope as we await His return.

Let’s celebrate

If you are not familiar with this story, I would encourage you to open a Bible, find the Gospel of John, and just start reading. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you through the Truth contained therein. There are also many free Bible apps you could use or go on-line to BibleGateway.com.

It is my prayer that you make this decision right now if you have never done so. And send me a message that you have done it, so I can celebrate this life-changing good news with you. You can reach me here: julie@juliefillinger.com .

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How Do I Know Nicholas is in Heaven?

Tue, 06 Feb 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Heaven is the link

The moment Nicholas placed his trust in Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior, his eternal life began. This is the life God planned for him since before the world was created. I treasure this truth and it is certainly a comfort. When Nicholas died and physically left this earth, I wanted to know all about where he was. What has happened to him? What is he doing? If only I could see him once more. I knew Heaven was the link to this becoming a reality. I immersed myself in studying the topic. What is heaven really like and when can I go? It is remarkable that it takes loss to get us to think eternally. The Lord’s return cannot come quickly enough.

At Home with Jesus

A friend recommended One Minute After You Die by Edwin Lutzer, and I would recommend this resource as well. It is a short read but packed with scriptural support for why I can be comforted knowing if my loved one is a child of God, they are at Home with Jesus the moment they leave this earth. I do not grieve as those who have no hope. The Blessed Hope truly is a lifeline. I know I will see them again. And for all eternity. I am counting the days until the glorious reunion. I am jealous of those who are already there. To live is Christ and to die is gain resonates much more clearly now. I tell the Lord I am ready when He is.

I am living as a resident alien

The thing is, shouldn’t I already be thinking and living this way? If God is my Father, shouldn’t I want to know Him and long to be with Him? I should not feel at home here. I am not of this world. I am living as a resident alien. My work is to do His will for as long as He wills it. He numbered my days here when He formed me in my mother’s womb and appointed the time of my departure from this earth. This should give me a sense of peace, knowing God is in control. He has a Sovereign plan.

So why don’t I live like I believe it? Why do I choose the trappings of this life over the next one? I make earthly things an idol, as if anything here could be better than what awaits. I like the idea of Heaven, but it can wait. Right up until… it can’t. And it can’t wait when someone I love more than myself lives there and not here. Then all of a sudden, heaven can’t wait. But isn’t Someone I love more than myself already in heaven?

Learning to think eternally

God used physical death to put a longing in my heart that should have already been there to get me to think with an eternal perspective. To look up instead of out. Even though it doesn’t feel like it in the suffering, my life here is a vapor. I do not understand God’s Sovereign Plan that He ordained before the world began. I don’t know all the reasons He gave Nicholas a short physical life. But I do trust Him. He has proven Himself over and over in His faithful, loving care. And He gave His own Son so mine could live. I cannot stay angry at the One who could have saved my son in this life but chose instead to provide the Way to give him Eternal Life in the next one. He is not asking me to do anything He has not done Himself.

Thankfulness for Eternal Life

breaks the bond of anger

and binds it with cords of Hope.

If I believe this, I am not sad for the one who went on to be with the Lord. I am sad for myself because I miss their presence here and must figure out life here without them. Their absence is a great loss, but I can learn not to wish them back. I have Hope to join them and live forever in sweet communion with our brothers and sisters worshipping our Triune God -The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Nicholas was a sinner who needed a Savior

Eric and I shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ with our children from birth. Nicholas also heard this Good News at church and from other family members. So, it was not a surprise that he recognized he was a sinner and needed a Savior at an early age. Even so, we tried to put him off by saying how good it was that he wanted to follow Jesus. We did not use the words “ask Jesus in your heart” to share the Gospel, but on five different occasions, Nicholas came home proclaiming he had done this. We were using Christmas ornaments that share the Truth of the Gospel by explaining the names of Jesus. By His Spirit, God had been drawing Nicholas to Himself for quite some time as Truth was being revealed. On December 15, 2002, God used Jesus as The Door to completely illuminate Nicholas’s understanding.

John 10:9 says, “ I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. ” (ESV)

We could see understanding wash over him as he exclaimed, “Ohhhhhh! I get it.” Then as he was saying his prayers at bedtime, when we tried to question him and maybe put him off a bit to make sure he really understood, he would not have it. He could not not ask Jesus Christ to save him. He got on his knees, bowed his head, folded his hands, and quietly whispered a prayer to the Lord. When he opened his eyes he hopped into bed with a peaceful smile on his face, as if to say, “There, now that’s settled.”

Shortly after this, he was driving us crazy to get baptized. This went on for several months until we finally relented. I do not know if we were right to put him off. We wanted to have some assurance that he really understood what he was doing. Later as a teen, he had some rebellion that did not last long. Then six weeks before he died, he went to a discipleship weekend at church and came home with a renewed devotion to Jesus Christ as Lord that he could verbalize and articulate. There was also a noticeable difference in his priorities, respect, and obedience. This has been a great source of comfort to us in having assurance of seeing him again in heaven. Praise be to God for this Blessed Hope.

Born Again to a Living Hope

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What I did to stay out of the pit? Part 3

Tue, 30 Jan 2024 10:00:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

The What Elses

If you recall from the last blog, the three Practical Ways I fight to live another day:

Call on my Prayer Warriors – asking those who have indicated they want to pray for me to do so.
Cultivate a Heart of Gratitude – counting what I am thankful for every day, especially eternal life.
Show Love – looking for opportunities to show love while my own heart is still broken.

In addition to those, some other things I did proved to be helpful. These are the What Elses. As in what else did I do to learn to live again after loss?

The What Elses include:

a healthy diet
exercise
sleep
good music
bible study

Even though I struggle to do it, I know I should have a healthy diet and exercise. When I do them consistently, I feel better. But honestly, they seemed too great a hill to conquer when I was trying to live to the next hour. It was helpful when one of my prayer warriors could double up in accountability. My struggle here continues but lessens as I continue in the fight. In full disclosure, in the first nine years after Nicholas died, I gained 30 pounds, which I have lost this past year. Check out the blog from January 2 ^nd entitled, What About That Grief Weight.

I struggled every night to fall asleep

Sleep is essential. I struggled every single night to fall asleep. But it got better. I tried various combinations of over the counter medication under my physician’s guidance. So far, I am satisfied enough that I have not pursued other sleep aids. I also find listening to restful music on a timer as I fall asleep helps settle my thoughts.

In the early days, I dreaded going to bed. I knew when I laid my head on the pillow, my thoughts were going to be consumed with grief I didn’t want to deal with. I started asking my prayer warriors to pray for me to be able to fall asleep and stay asleep, and I disciplined myself to turn the music on.

It certainly helped to make myself go to bed at a regular time. If I knew I didn’t have to get up early the next day, I could easily stay up too late binge-watching or reading. Night-time Julie was not a friend to morning Julie. Morning Julie has cursed night-time Julie on many occasions. I do not love being disciplined. Night-time Julie says why can’t I just stay up and do what I want? When really I was avoiding the inevitable ferris wheel of grief. Then I would crash and wonder how this happened? Morning Julie was there waiting with a smirk. When I became more disciplined in my sleep, I developed a much healthier pattern for being disciplined in other areas, like walking and dieting.

I filled my mind with Truth, not lies

Another essential was filling my mind with Truth about Who God is. Satan wants me to believe lies. He is the father of lies and he wants to rip my life apart so he can accuse me before God’s Throne. He knows he won’t win in the end, but wouldn’t it be a victory to take me down, at least make my life ineffective for God’s Kingdom?
When I felt so weak and unable to even formulate a good defense, struggling to remember all those things I knew to be true about who God is, MUSIC got through. Music . I know I just talked about music helping quiet my thoughts so I could fall asleep, but it was also very helpful in letting Truth in. God designed and authored music to resonate in our soul. And it transcends the mutterings of our lips and thoughts of incoherency in times of deep sorrow. I listened to good music that reminded and taught me the Truth about God’s character and I still do. This tore down the destructive lies that threatened to wallpaper my mind and replaced it with a healthy knowledge of Who God is. I have music on every day.

When I am not in God’s Word, I feel far away from Him. Until I could get back to making good Bible study a consistent part of my routine, I bought a Children’s Bible Story Book and read familiar stories. My pastor’s wife recommended The Jesus Storybook Bible: Every Story Whispers His Name , by Sally Lloyd-Jones. I grew up with these stories in Sunday School and they reminded me of who God is. God used the Truths I recalled to help me in the fight against satan’s lies. When I absolutely could not focus on a single word, I went back to just music for a time. And then I would try again, asking God, by His Spirit, to help guide me and He did.

While the three Practical Ways are the main considerations, the What Elses will be good goals to strive for to aid in your survival and healing. I hope you have found them helpful. I am committed to praying for every person God uses this blog to reach. Even if I do not know you by name, God does. And I can bring even the un-named before His Throne of Grace for healing and courage as they learn to live after loss.

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What I did to stay out of the pit? Part 2

Tue, 23 Jan 2024 10:00:00 GMT

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Joy and Sorrow Can Coexist

Fri, 24 Nov 2023 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Conflicting Emotions.

As time dared to march on, joy and sorrow coexisted in my heart. I cried easily and felt deeply. I was still sad, and even in miserable anguish at times. But God was showing me there was also room for joy as I leaned into the Holy Spirit. Before this, I had not realized these seemingly conflicting emotions could be occurring at the same time.

The date was a trigger for me.

I focused too much on anniversaries, and I could not seem to stop this. I got angry when I would see the numbers on the clock or someone’s athletic jersey, like they were taunting me.

I continued to live the horrific trauma in the weeks leading up to death day.

The beginning of the school year ushered a call from the dark places of grief which intensified as the day drew nigh. My heart hoped for a different outcome “this time” and was cut to shreds when the different outcome did not happen.

My head knew this was foolish, but my heart still struggled to accept it. I caught myself thinking that it did not really happen, that Nicholas was on a trip, and he would be coming back.

I felt sucker punched in the gut when my head would say, “foolish girl, the sooner you come to grips with it the better.” And round and round it would go.

I practice better coping skills.

Now, it is not as bad as it has been. I have learned to practice better coping skills, replacing lies with Truth about who God is at the core.

I ask God to give me the courage to live each day He gives with joy. I ask for it and He gives it. His Spirit confirms this in my heart often times through my prayer warriors. This gives me motivation to hope in the future.

Sorrow and sadness are there, but not always at the forefront, not taking up all the space in my heart and mind.

Because of the Gospel, joy can exist alongside sorrow and even take center stage. They have become intertwined, woven into my life now. Joy co-existing with sorrow makes it a little easier to endure the hard things like living from day to day and helping others do the same along the way.

I keep on keepin’ on.

If you remember in the last blog post, we discussed courage was having fear but doing it anyway. I have learned that fear and grief are not that different, especially in their paralyzing nature and struggle to move forward. I am grieving but I do it anyway.

What is the “it” that I’m doing? It is living. And so can you. The courage to live in pain means you don’t want to go on, but you do it anyway, trusting God will make sense of it in His time and use it for His Glory and someone else’s good. ¹

As you keep on keeping on in your cries to the Lord, He will be faithful to hear you, lift you out of the pit of despair, and place your feet on solid ground. ²

He was with me all along.

There came a point when I realized God had been with me all along. Sometimes there was a disconnect between my head and heart. I knew the Truth in my head, that He was there, faithfully loving me, but my heart would betray me.

My head and heart connected when I practiced leaning into the Holy Spirit as He testified Truth to my spirit that His presence was with me. ³ I was not alone. ⁴ And along the way God, in His faithfulness, continued to cultivate the fruit of joy alongside the pain with the Hope of Glory that is to come. ⁵

Passages referenced:

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Courage to Live in Pain

Tue, 21 Nov 2023 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Courage defined.

When Nicholas was in elementary school, there was an author spotlight in the library.

Nicholas took to being a young author. He wrote twenty-eight stories in third and fourth grade, and the librarian compiled them into the “Nicholas Fillinger Collection.” She had kept it and passed it on to us after Nicholas died.

One of the stories was entitled, “Definitions to the things that make you better.” In it, he defined concepts such as respect, self-control, honesty, courtesy, mercy, fairness, being nice, and courage.

His definition of courage stands out not only because he lived courageously, but also because it has now become necessary to my survival.

He said courage does not mean you are not afraid. It is being afraid and doing it anyway.

Merriam-Webster defines courage as “the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear, or difficulty”.

If courage is when you have fear, anxiety, or sorrow that could keep you from doing something, but then you go ahead and do it anyway, what gives you the strength to do it despite the wrestling emotions? And why does it seem like some people have more courage than others?

I had good examples of courage growing up. There were people in my life who overcame difficulties to do hard things.

But I know plenty of people who had no such examples and exhibited amazing courage in spite of their circumstances. There seems to be a sense of drive and purpose embedded into the actual living out of this concept.

Where did my courage come from?

It sounds like Christian cliché, but the drive to have courage ultimately came from the Lord when I felt like quitting. I just kept on crying out to Him over and over, and asked my prayer warriors to intercede on my behalf.

When I would have let go, He held on to me.
God was faithful to instill the drive and purpose to live while still in pain.
He used good examples to give me a picture of what courage looks like.
He lifted me up through the prayers of His faithful children.

I had courage to live even though I was in pain because I was not alone. I did not have to do it by myself because God was with me. Through my prayers and the prayers of others, His Spirit testified to my spirit that I could and would survive. It was somewhat of a rote existence at times to just get up and keep going, crying out over and over. Learning to lean in to the power of the Holy Spirit fueled me to have motivation, which in the life of a grieving soul is courage.

Waiting on the Lord.

At the time, waiting on the Lord felt like that would be my new life. It felt crushing to go seemingly long periods without hearing from Him. I could not see it, but He was using the waiting to build endurance, which I would need as part of this courage to live in pain. The endurance would build my character, which I didn’t think was necessarily worth what I was being asked to endure. But then character would give way to Hope. And Hope does not disappoint. The times I felt like God was not with me would become fewer and less intense as the Holy Spirit gave me the courage to HOPE.

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Living For Jesus Not My Children

Fri, 17 Nov 2023 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

What was my motivation to live?

I would like to be able to tell you, Jesus was my motivation to keep on- that I wanted to do God’s will and seek Him first in all things.

The truth is it was our second born son, Drew.

Eric and I could have possibly talked each other into taking a sedative and falling asleep with the car running and the garage door closed if it were not for Drew.

I know that sounds dark and maybe surprising to some, but thoughts like these occurred more than once. Sometimes my thoughts were more passive like not wearing my seatbelt and not caring if I died in a car accident. It seemed one of us was feeling a little stronger when the other was weak. “What about Drew?” we would say. “You’re right” was the reply.

The first year, I was the weaker one. Mostly because Eric did not get to stay home and grieve. He owns a business and returned to work the following week after Nicholas’ funeral.

Feeling Guarded.

Looking back, living for my children was a struggle long before Nicholas died.

We suffered two miscarriages before Nicholas. By the time we were blessed with his arrival, longing that turned to expectant joy soon left me feeling guarded.

It’s not that I was overprotective, but the losses helped me realize how quickly things could change. I wanted to be the best mother I could. It was my number one job. I would not take anything for granted. I was determined to enjoy my children thoroughly and was thankful to be able to stay at home with them. When it came time for them to go to school, I loved being a part of their success there as well.

I placed an unintended burden on Drew.

A freshman in high school, Drew was only 14 when his brother died. His high school career was punctuated by this tragedy. He could not get away from it. None of us could. And it seemed disrespectful to Nicholas’ memory to try.

So, on the days we did not want to push on, Drew filled our hearts and minds. We had to keep going for him. He was still here. And he had a beautiful life of his own to look forward to.

Living for Drew and not for God has placed an unintended burden on Drew.

God is the only One worthy of our adoration.

God has been dealing with me on this. He calls anything I put before Him idolatry. It was not my intention to live for Drew, but especially the first year, he was my motivation.

Even though He is faithful in His loving kindness and patience towards us, God does not want us to live for anyone but Him. He is the only One worthy of this kind of adoration.

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Holidays Can Still Be Meaningful

Tue, 14 Nov 2023 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Is it the most wonderful time of the year?

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The Pain Begins

Fri, 10 Nov 2023 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Intense grieving did not begin immediately.

I wasn’t being phony, but shock and the Holy Spirit gave me an appearance of dealing seemingly well with the loss in the immediate aftermath. I remember thinking God would be faithful to get us through this. And He has been, but I had no idea what He was asking us to endure when I was initially determined to rely on Him. I had never experienced anything like this.

It was about to get worse than I could imagine.

The graphic nature of raw and honest misery could be rated M for Mature. But then, who really ever reaches a level of maturity at which they are ready to experience the pain of grief?

When Nicholas died, my heart was stabbed over and over until I passed out from the physical pain, only to be awakened to realize that this was not a dream. It wasn’t even a nightmare. It was a horrifying scream. The scream echoed in my ears until I felt like I was going mad. The stabbing pain was a welcome comfort compared to the scream. How could I dull the screeching magnitude of its volume? What could I do to numb the pain? At best, I could drown it out for brief moments, while it continued behind the closed door.

But the scream beckoned to be heard. It refused to stay shut out, relentless in its pursuit. I felt like I was in hell physically, mentally, and spiritually -like God was far from me and had left me alone in separation. I did not even have the strength or wherewithal to ask, “Why God?”

I cried out until there were no more tears to cry, leaving me in heaving sobs of confusion and bewilderment and begging for relief.

This went on for the better part of the first year. Merely existing between moments of terror is basically what I did. Just performing the perfunctory daily activities was how I got by. The pain of grief was so intense at times, I did not think I could bear it.

It was a miserable existence.

And then it would eventually break, and some relief would come. And the times of terror would lessen.

I chose to live.

Sometime in the second to third year, I wavered between merely existing to wanting to live again.

I either needed to die or live. And if I was going to choose to live, then I needed to really live, not just exist.

If grief was linear, I would have been able to rejoice in relief. I had made it through.

However, I soon discovered grief is not something I could get through to the other side.

I could not finish one phase and move on to the next, never to revisit the previous depths of hellish anguish again.

It has been more like overlapping cycles that loop back on itself, and eventually progress forward. The cycles can repeat, not necessarily every phase or in the same order, but with a similar familiarity.

Ten years later…

It has been ten years now. A little over a year ago, the dark heavy cloud lifted. Before this, I could not count on sustained relief. I keep waiting for the foreboding sense of despair to return, but so far, it hasn’t.

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Say Their Name

Tue, 07 Nov 2023 10:30:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

Does hearing their name cause comfort or pain?

Those who had not experienced the great loss of a loved one, were inclined to think saying Nicholas’ name would cause me more pain.

This was not possible.

I was in misery and longed for my loved one to be remembered.

Saying his name
Reminiscing over pictures
Retelling stories

were a part of the healing that occurred when I was reassured Nicholas’ life mattered.

I remember the good.

I tend to only want to remember the good things about Nicholas, especially because he died young.

The temptation is to put him on a pedestal and romanticize who he was. Nicholas made everyone’s life better simply by knowing him. He cared deeply, often at his own expense, not looking for anything in return. He just wanted to do good in every area of his life. Even though he could be shy, he was willing to fight for what is right. He could endure a tremendous amount of pain in his pursuit to be the best.

I recognize Nicholas wasn’t perfect.

No one is perfect in this life and neither was Nicholas.

He inherited a bit of a smart mouth from me that came out as he struggled through early teen years. He wasn’t always teachable. He could get rattled if he wasn’t good at something he desired. And he got embarrassed easily.

Mostly though, his imperfections made him more likable.

So what went wrong?

Nicholas was nearly 17 when he died.

A clear line is drawn before and after death. Before he died, my life was pretty good, better than I thought or admitted at the time. I had suffered losses, the most significant of which was my father. But even that did not prepare me for the pain I was going to be asked to endure.

Nicholas was a gifted runner and was obsessed with being the best.

We discovered he had been doing research on how he could imitate altitude training. There seemed to be a couple of favorite options among athletes, especially runners. One was an altitude mask that you wear, and it deprives you of oxygen while training.

There was no evidence that Nicholas had purchased one of these.

The other is taking a belt and using it to put pressure on your carotid arteries, just until you are depriving yourself of oxygen, and continuing to force yourself to function so you can teach your brain how to perform in low oxygen situations, like in a race.

We found that runners know not to do this by themselves because it could be dangerous if they passed out.

It seems Nicholas was doing this by himself. And this is how he died.

And now I have to wait until I get to heaven to tell him how ridiculously stupid and preventable this was.

Only I imagine our heavenly reunion going a little differently.

In the next blog, we will start to look at living in pain after such a loss.

For now, I will leave you with this word of hope:

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Learning To Live After Loss

Fri, 27 Oct 2023 19:12:00 GMT

Julie Fillinger

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