Julie Fillinger

Heaven is the link

The moment Nicholas placed his trust in Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior, his eternal life began. This is the life God planned for him since before the world was created. I treasure this truth and it is certainly a comfort. When Nicholas died and physically left this earth, I wanted to know all about where he was. What has happened to him? What is he doing? If only I could see him once more. I knew Heaven was the link to this becoming a reality. I immersed myself in studying the topic. What is heaven really like and when can I go? It is remarkable that it takes loss to get us to think eternally. The Lord’s return cannot come quickly enough.

At Home with Jesus

A friend recommended One Minute After You Die by Edwin Lutzer, and I would recommend this resource as well. It is a short read but packed with scriptural support for why I can be comforted knowing if my loved one is a child of God, they are at Home with Jesus the moment they leave this earth. I do not grieve as those who have no hope. The Blessed Hope truly is a lifeline. I know I will see them again. And for all eternity. I am counting the days until the glorious reunion. I am jealous of those who are already there. To live is Christ and to die is gain resonates much more clearly now.  I tell the Lord I am ready when He is.

I am living as a resident alien

The thing is, shouldn’t I already be thinking and living this way? If God is my Father, shouldn’t I want to know Him and long to be with Him? I should not feel at home here. I am not of this world. I am living as a resident alien. My work is to do His will for as long as He wills it. He numbered my days here when He formed me in my mother’s womb and appointed the time of my departure from this earth. This should give me a sense of peace, knowing God is in control. He has a Sovereign plan. 

So why don’t I live like I believe it? Why do I choose the trappings of this life over the next one? I make earthly things an idol, as if anything here could be better than what awaits. I like the idea of Heaven, but it can wait. Right up until… it can’t. And it can’t wait when someone I love more than myself lives there and not here. Then all of a sudden, heaven can’t wait. But isn’t Someone I love more than myself already in heaven?

Learning to think eternally

God used physical death to put a longing in my heart that should have already been there to get me to think with an eternal perspective. To look up instead of out. Even though it doesn’t feel like it in the suffering, my life here is a vapor. I do not understand God’s Sovereign Plan that He ordained before the world began. I don’t know all the reasons He gave Nicholas a short physical life. But I do trust Him. He has proven Himself over and over in His faithful, loving care. And He gave His own Son so mine could live. I cannot stay angry at the One who could have saved my son in this life but chose instead to provide the Way to give him Eternal Life in the next one. He is not asking me to do anything He has not done Himself.

Thankfulness for Eternal Life

breaks the bond of anger

and binds it with cords of Hope.

If I believe this, I am not sad for the one who went on to be with the Lord. I am sad for myself because I miss their presence here and must figure out life here without them. Their absence is a great loss, but I can learn not to wish them back. I have Hope to join them and live forever in sweet communion with our brothers and sisters worshipping our Triune God -The Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

Nicholas was a sinner who needed a Savior

Eric and I shared the Gospel of Jesus Christ with our children from birth. Nicholas also heard this Good News at church and from other family members. So, it was not a surprise that he recognized he was a sinner and needed a Savior at an early age. Even so, we tried to put him off by saying how good it was that he wanted to follow Jesus. We did not use the words “ask Jesus in your heart” to share the Gospel, but on five different occasions, Nicholas came home proclaiming he had done this. We were using Christmas ornaments that share the Truth of the Gospel by explaining the names of Jesus. By His Spirit, God had been drawing Nicholas to Himself for quite some time as Truth was being revealed. On December 15, 2002, God used Jesus as The Door to completely illuminate Nicholas’s understanding. 

John 10:9 says, “ I am the door; if anyone enters through Me, he will be saved, and will go in and out and find pasture. ” (ESV)

We could see understanding wash over him as he exclaimed, “Ohhhhhh! I get it.” Then as he was saying his prayers at bedtime, when we tried to question him and maybe put him off a bit to make sure he really understood, he would not have it. He could not not ask Jesus Christ to save him. He got on his knees, bowed his head, folded his hands, and quietly whispered a prayer to the Lord. When he opened his eyes he hopped into bed with a peaceful smile on his face, as if to say, “There, now that’s settled.”

Shortly after this, he was driving us crazy to get baptized. This went on for several months until we finally relented. I do not know if we were right to put him off. We wanted to have some assurance that he really understood what he was doing. Later as a teen, he had some rebellion that did not last long. Then six weeks before he died, he went to a discipleship weekend at church and came home with a renewed devotion to Jesus Christ as Lord that he could verbalize and articulate. There was also a noticeable difference in his priorities, respect, and obedience. This has been a great source of comfort to us in having assurance of seeing him again in heaven. Praise be to God for this Blessed Hope.

Born Again to a Living Hope

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