Julie Fillinger

L egacy of a Praying Mother

Legacies are important. With the idea of leaving a legacy in mind, I find myself wondering what kind of spiritual legacy will I leave my son. I hope it’s the legacy my mother left to me – a legacy of prayer.  

If I am honest, I do not always live up to the legacy that I have been left. I struggle to maintain an in depth prayer life that worships my Heavenly Father, acknowledges His goodness, petitions for others and supplicates for myself. Yet, I invest in studying Scripture and praying daily. I want God’s will, but I often want my will to be God’s will. I have to accept His answer whether it be “no,” “wait,” or “yes.” 

Leaning Patiently on the Lord  

Some of the most powerful times of my life have occurred when I have to wait upon the Lord, to rest in His presence. Psalm 37:7a in the Amplified Bible reads, “Be still and rest in the Lord; wait for Him and patiently lean yourself upon Him …”  

I want to focus on “patiently lean.” This phrase requires that I intentionally engage. As I ponder my prayers, the times when I have grown the most, have depended totally on God, are when I leaned patiently on Him.  

I leaned patiently on the Lord, when I kept asking, kept seeking, and kept knocking ( Matthew 7:7). Like Hannah and Elizabeth in the Bible, I prayed for a baby (25 years). I experienced God’s provision and goodness as I waited and waited and waited, as I leaned and leaned and leaned on God. I continued to pray and lean. When Hannah says, “I have not been drinking wine or beer; I was pouring out my soul to the Lord” I Samuel 1:16 NIV , I lived this. I poured out my heart to the Lord, thus continuing my legacy.  

My Journey to Motherhood  

Heartaches and Breaks  

Here is my story to motherhood. A few months after I married, I learned that my husband and I were going to have a baby. I was beyond excited because I thought I was too old for pregnancy. Then I miscarried at eleven weeks and experienced heartbreak. I did not get pregnant again. 

Fast forward three years, circumstances put us in the path of a woman who did not think she could keep her child, so she chose us to adopt her son. I was in the delivery room when this precious baby boy was born. I cut the cord and felt bound to him with an unbreakable bond. I named him “Jack” after my daddy. I could not wait to take him home. Except, we did not take Jack home. The birth mother changed her mind and we were left devastated.  

Accepting God’s No  

But God is good. Even though He allowed “no” to happen, He was with us. I also learned that I could pray for someone that I would likely never see again. I pray for Jack each day and have done so for almost sixteen years. The bond is not broken. 

I enacted my legacy as I kept praying. By that time, I had moved into Elizabeth territory when it came to becoming a mother. I prayed for Jack, and I prayed for a child of my own. When I went into baby stores, I prayed. When I attended the baby showers, I prayed. I arrived at the point that I was not going to pray for a child any longer. God had told us “no,” and I would accept His answer.  

But God Says Yes  

One morning, as I was getting ready for work, I told God this was the last time I would ask for a child. I would accept any answer to my request. The same afternoon my husband received a call that there was a baby boy who needed a home. Like Zechariah and Elizabeth in Luke 1:13 “ [our] prayer had been heard.” God finally said “yes” to my twenty-five year prayer.  

Rejoice, Pray, and Give Thanks  

Throughout my journey to motherhood, I learned to live I Thessalonians 5:16-18 “Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks” (ESV). My husband taught me prayer is ultimately placing myself under God’s authority. It is submitting to God’s will each time I pray. If you asked me when I was a young woman praying for a child would I prefer to wait twenty-five years, I would have said “NO!” But I learned to rejoice, pray, and give thanks even when I could not see the answer.  

Leaving a Legacy of Prayer  

Legacies are important. I leaned patiently on the Lord and learned what Hannah meant when she received her son, for this child I prayed, and the Lord has given me what I have asked of Him (from I Samuel 1:27).  I prayed for my son, and I still pray for him. I hope to leave a legacy of prayer to my son that my mother left to me.  

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